* Posts by Gianni Straniero

281 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Nov 2007


'You can keep it' - Brit's nicked laptop turns up on Iranians' sofa

Gianni Straniero


Reading the comments here reminds me why I stopped reading The Register. You are a bunch of blinkered, bloody-minded, knee-jerk, off-with-their-heads man-boys, the lot of you.

Seriously, how is "they are handling stolen goods, therefore they deserve to be shamed, internationally" a nuanced, adult response to this story?

Feel free to downvote this comment into oblivion.

(without realising that the more of you do so, the better, frankly)

Hubble finds fifth moon orbiting Pluto

Gianni Straniero

Re: You go to Pluto

"Shouldn't Pluto be @ the other side of the red circle?"

No. Since this is an Olympic year, you will forgive the athletic analogy. Think of Pluto as the hammer-thrower, and Charon as the hammer.

Got it?

DNS hijack hits The Register: All well

Gianni Straniero

If only it were that simple

Quite a few ISPs seem to ignore TTLs that are set below their preferences. 1800 seconds (30 mins) seems to be a practical lower bound.

Sweden rolls out invisible infrared tank

Gianni Straniero


... just look for the vast cloud of dust the machine has kicked up

London bus timings mobile beta site spotted

Gianni Straniero


Doesn't look very "mobile optimised" to me. Try http://m.countdown.tfl.gov.uk/

P.S. Can't believe no-one else has used the "Stop" icon. I mean, if ever...

iPhone 5 to include Japanese earthquake warning system

Gianni Straniero

Early warning

If you want to see how much warning you would have got between the p- and s- waves in Tokyo, 376 kms from the epicentre of the 8.9 quake in March, look here:


It's not much, but it might save your life.

As with everything in earthquakes, the further you are from the epicentre the better, on the whole.

Triceratops horn find supports meteor extinction theory

Gianni Straniero


Gould discusses the phenomenon that informs this work -- the Signor-Lipps effect -- in his essay "Dinosaurs in the haystack":


Refusal to unveil scuppers French refusal-to-unveil trial

Gianni Straniero

OK, I'll bite


Blimp fireball disaster in Germany, Aussie pilot killed

Gianni Straniero

Re: Actually, the ignition source.....

I, er, floated that idea on these pages a while back. Went down like a lead balloon, so to speak


Dam Busters dog dubbed 'Digger'

Gianni Straniero

Barking up the wrong tree

They're remaking a film which celebrates a mission of questionable strategic significance that killed upwards of 1500 civilians, and we're still arguing about the dog's name?

Movie-goer punts 3D-to-2D cinema specs

Gianni Straniero

Obligatory Amazon review

See here:


Russian computer programmer buries himself alive

Gianni Straniero

Look on the bright side

His estate need not fork out for a funeral.

Hacker pwns police cruiser and lives to tell tale

Gianni Straniero

Live feed

I am impressed that Verizon's network can support live streaming from a PVR. Would be nice to get that kind of HSUPA bandwidth in London.

Air cooled data centres are hot!

Gianni Straniero


How much of that heat is generated by the AC > DC > AC > DC conversion typical in a UPS-backed data centre?

Libya fighting shows just how idiotic the Defence Review was

Gianni Straniero
Black Helicopters

Re: Join the dots, buddy

"How many shoulder-launched SAMs do they use to take out the current range of helicopters"

I don't know. That's why I asked. Care to enlighten me?

Gianni Straniero
Black Helicopters


Our lack of helicopter lift is frequently cited as a contributing factor to our casualties in Afghanistan.

But if Our Brave Boys are in big, fat Chinooks, won't the Taliban switch from IEDs to shoulder-launched SAMs instead, as the Mujahideen did when they gave the Soviet Union a thrashing?

Or do they lack a Charlie Wilson-style benefactor to supply such kit?

Joy Division get the Playmobil treatment

Gianni Straniero

Manic drummer

Love the manic Stephen Morris.

Amazon buys Lovefilm

Gianni Straniero

this reminds me

Just remembered something else. I gave a friend one of those vouchers that gives one £30 off a LoveFilm subscription.

He said: "What the hell is a Love Film? Is that some kind of porno?"

"No, no," said I. "It's love FILM, not LOVE film".

Funny how you can subvert a brand's meaning simply by changing the stress on each word.

Gianni Straniero

Improve members' experience across Europe

By, for example, settling their dispute with Universal?

Burglars snort dead dad's ashes

Gianni Straniero

Plus ca change

Happened in the UK in 2000:


And way back in 1934, in Bellingham, WA:


Angry Birds to catapult onto TV

Gianni Straniero


... by the Israeli TV show 'Eretz Nehederet'


Don't shoot the messenger. I'm not promoting either side of the conflict.

Ace Reg reporter in career suicide shock

Gianni Straniero

Good night, and good luck

Congratulations on your new role. I might take the occasional copy of the Torygraph now...

Italian bloke sneezes out .22 bullet

Gianni Straniero


The weapon of choice for camorristi, because, instead of exiting the head, the round rattles around inside the skull, turning the brains to sanguinaccio. Or so I have heard.

Leslie Nielsen dead at 84

Gianni Straniero

I guess...

... he had the fish

Pumpkin pie could prompt Thanksgiving sexual free-for-all

Gianni Straniero

"Nostalgic recall"

Hmm. Getting a boner while remembering Mom's pumpkin pie is probably not something Freud would have classed as "nostalgia".

The reference to a "Pavlovian response" reminds me of something else. Certain newsagents have started giving away family-size Dairy Milk bars with newspapers. I now salivate every time I see a copy of The Daily Telegraph. Most inconvenient.

Hey kids, wanna build your own Vulture 1?

Gianni Straniero


I do so hope the fine chaps at Ferdowsi U have Playmobil worms and turtles at their disposal.

Hadron Collider switches to heavy ions, tinfoilers wet pants again

Gianni Straniero

I, for one,

look forward to the forthcoming series "when Lewis met Louis".

Benoit Mandelbrot, father of fractals, dies at 85

Gianni Straniero

Get set

"I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space"

Great white sharks menace Blighty

Gianni Straniero

... wrong

> 1) Great whites had been seen basking in the Med

Great whites and basking sharks are different species, silly.

Gianni Straniero


Does anyone seriously find the shark-laser combo funny anymore?

Manchester cops hit Twitter - spoof feeds fall down stairs

Gianni Straniero

Re: Stranger than fiction


Call 3113 Noises from empty property. It is believed property is being removed. Officers attend. Nobody seen. #gmp24

£1bn+ Royal Navy destroyer finally fires 'disgraceful' weapon

Gianni Straniero

I stand corrected

Half a dozen

Gianni Straniero

wait for it...

Cue dozens of trolls, none of whom comment on any other articles, complaining that Lewis has recommended US-made kit once again.

HABITABLE ALIEN WORLD discovered 20 light-years away!

Gianni Straniero

1.1-1.7 g

"Thus its surface gravity would be anywhere from 1.1 to 1.7 g ... quite feasible for humans to walk about in"

Speak for yourself, fitness freak. Most of your readership has enough trouble struggling to the vending machine in 1g conditions.

Swedes brew up 18.5 per cent 'Ace of Spades Porter'

Gianni Straniero

Mine's a Kaliber

My favourite Brewdog beer name is "Nanny State", which weighs in at a puny 1.1% ABV.


Dunno what it tastes like, though.

Nandos 'village bike' ad not sexist, rules ASA

Gianni Straniero

Re: Well

The Oven Pride controversy is by no means an isolated phenomenon. A huge number of TV adverts in the UK have the recurring stereotype of "idiot Dad", who fucks up the DIY, knocks over the telly, or puts red knickers in the wash with the whites. Cue pubescent daughter rolling her eyes skyward, and Mum shaking her head ruefully, yet indulgently. "Silly old Dad," they think.

Today, the 40-something white middle class male is the only demographic you can get away with belittling on TV. I feel for them, I really do, because as a group, 40-something white middle class men are among the least privileged members of our society.

Gianni Straniero
Paris Hilton


I thought the ad was in mildly poor taste, not because of any supposed sexism, but because it implies that anyone with an amusing Mediterranean accent is some kind of moustachioed lothario who does little else but grope women, or daydream about doing so. Same with that "Juan Sheet" bullshit advert for kitchen paper. But hey, it's probably just me, and I didn't run screaming to the ASA...

P.S. I love the "some of my best friends are women" comments in here. You're all so full of shit.

World Cup Stats Prof: I was right all along

Gianni Straniero

I am a humourless bastard...

"... the bookies had [the Netherlands] at considerably longer odds than Spain, Brazil, Argentina and England (you wot?)."

The odds offered for England were not just an expression of the probability of their victory, but a hedge against massive losses should they do the unthinkable and win.

iRobot Roomba 581 robot cleaner

Gianni Straniero

And I thought my flat was a mess

Rope, bubble wrap, cement, and Lord only knows what crap appears in the photos of your office. You, Sir, live like a beast. I salute you.

First true submarine captured from American drug smugglers

Gianni Straniero

Just you wait ...

... until they get a flying submarine.


Beeb reinstates teaboy in Pestogate scandal

Gianni Straniero


Hadn't spotted that. And the "two fingered salute" didn't have a footnote when I read the article.

Gianni Straniero

yeah, but no, but yeah

Not wanting to piss on your fireworks or anything, Lester, but the image flip-flopping might have more to do with the comments on Peston's blog than your excellent, timely coverage of this saga.


Meryl Streep to tackle Margaret Thatcher

Gianni Straniero


Benicio del Toro as Pinochet? I reckon not. Philipe Noiret would have been a shoo-in for the role, had he not preceded the dictator to the grave by a fortnight or so. A nice irony too, given Noiret played Neruda in Il Postino.

Native Oz ducks being raped to extinction

Gianni Straniero

Don't call me Shirley

"If they naturally interbreed and produce fertile offspring..."

Look up "Species problem" with your search engine of choice.

Also, this is good for biodiversity, no? We have mallards, we have Pacific black ducks, and now we have the unholy offspring of their matrimony.

Twitter promises to stay up for World Cup

Gianni Straniero
Paris Hilton

Why, Lord, why?

I don't understand why there is a spike in traffic during games. Well, I do, but I don't get the point. Every idiot in the world saying "Wow! Spain 0 - 1 Switzerland!!!" seems completely pointless. Any of your "followers" who gives a shit will already know.

Hayabusa in fiery return to Earth

Gianni Straniero

Not so epic as all that

At least the sample return capsule landed OK, unlike Genesis, which stacked itself into Terra Firma at terminal velocity:


"Negative drogue, negative chute"


Steve Irwin surveillance-crocodiles travel across oceans

Gianni Straniero

RE: facts...

Correct. Stingrays are not venomous, in the same way that crocodiles are not reptiles, and Steve Irwin is not dead.

Gianni Straniero
Paris Hilton

Re: And man followed?

"Anthropologists have often wondered how man travelled between the various lands"

... but remain resolutely silent on how woman got there.

Facebook gives users' names to advertisers

Gianni Straniero

Re: Seriously

You are Mark Zuckerberg, and I claim my five pounds.

Cops back in on BT/Phorm case

Gianni Straniero
Big Brother

"They perceived no criminal intent by the two firms"

actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea, whether we like it or not.