Posts by HFoster

Twitter on a ZX Spectrum

Not as old school as you lot

Amiga OS on an Atom netbook? Not only would I like to see this, I'd like to do it myself!

ISS 'naut snaps Aurora Australis

title

NASA photography makes for excellent desktop wallpapers. I shall be grabbing this for my netbook tonight!

Birmingham jihad-cam network suspended

Vierter Reich

Fight terrorism by marginalising the communities whose marginalised youth are preyed upon by extremists.

I'd like to meet the fuckwit who dreamt that scheme up. And knock seven bells out of him for trying to turn his part of the UK into a 21st Century Fascist dictatorship equipped with ghettoes as a breeding ground for the kind of trouble he's using to maintain his grasp on power.

I'd call him a cunt, but I'm sure he lacks both the depth and warmth to qualify.

Burger van busted offering free takeaway porn

Pr0n license

I reckon you need some sort of license to sell porn - as much as you need to sell any publications. Maybe it's a special form or variation of the aforementioned, maybe it isn't (IANAL), but I reckon you do need one. c.f. Sex shops.

Tesla Motors: Elon Musk's divorce won't sink us

Title

What gets me is that Musk's wife wants 10% of his Tesla earnings out of the divorce. That pricks my social awareness and raises my ire - in a world where same-sex marriage is barely recognised, if at all, and derided as cheapening the sanctity of marriage, it is still somehow A-OK for these multi-million-dollar divorces to go ahead.

Megan Fox exits Transformers 3

public boolean compare(apple, orange);

As I said before, Transformers is, always has been, and always shall be a glorified ad campaign for Japanese toys.

It's not a much-loved work of literature that has captivated generations. Its entire raison d'etre is to make kids say, "Mummy! Daddy! I WANT THAT FOR CHRISTMAS/MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!" and then make a fuckload of cash for Hasbro (or is it Mattel?).

And if you really don't like a film, just don't (pay to) watch it. This includes not watching it on the BBC (you pay your license fee, you contribute to their budget for movies and shows).

Exceptions to the rule include Twilight, which should be scourged from the face of the Earth with hellfire.

Crybabies

1. Transformers was originally a cartoon made to sell toys.

2. The animated movie was a continuation thereof.

3. The newer cartoons were made to sell the newer Transformers toys to a new generation.

4. Michael Bay's Transformers movies are pretty much a marketing tool for even newer toys to an even newer generation.

5. So the fuck what?

6. It's a popcorn movie about giant fucking robots, a slack-jawed teenager and his sexy trailerpark trash girlfriend - stop making out they destroyed a Dostoevsky novel by putting Paris Hilton and Ryan Seacrest in it.

Jeez.

Perv scanner todger quips provoke Miami airport assault

@unitron

Read my post again.

I said, "... but I'm sure a lifetime of chest-directed attention would have greater effect than a single comment from a co-pervert; hence my opinion of her laziness."

LIFETIME. That was the keyword there. Thanks for joining in.

Title, innit

He took a year before battering one of them. One. Year. Compare that to the lazy so-and-so at Heathrow who took one reference to her chest as the get-out she was looking for to lead a life of sloth.

OK, so her breasts would be in greater evidence than his penis, even without a perv-scanner, but I'm sure a lifetime of chest-directed attention would have greater effect than a single comment from a co-pervert; hence my opinion of her laziness.

A year of todger jokes is another story. I'm not condoning his actions, just drawing a comparison. Pick on someone for a year about something that may already weigh heavily on their mind, and I'm sure they'll eventually crack.

'Draw Mohammed' call prompts Pakistan Facebook ban

Good point

Ban Raphael's un-Godly filth!

No?

OK.

Personally, I think these Facebook campaigns for whatever are a load of bollocks. I have better things to do with my time than join a bunch of teenage frakwits making a "point" or a "stand". As I understand it, al Qa'eda are already pissed off that we live in non-Islamic countries where we can drink alcohol, watch porn, eat bacon (mmmm... bacon), and see a woman's whole body (not just her eyes and ankles) without being married to her. I don't need to draw Mohammed to annoy them, I just have to live my life.

Piece of piss!

Mafia Wars dons deprived of pit bulls

Meanwhile, in Africa...

A human child dies every 36 seconds from malnutrition, disease, etc.

Thumb up in irony.

Boffins turn Bunsen burners on Frank Skinner

-gate suffices

I'm actually waiting to hear that the Watergate hotel is now surrounded by a fence, the opening to which is made of quartz - Watergate's Agate gate-gate!

Boobquake fails to destroy planet

Can prehistoric earthquakes be identified archaeologically?

If so, all we need is to find enough evidence for high incidences of quakes occurring before humankind, and thusly before moral rules existed to be broken.

Not that any religious order is likely to let a piddling little thing like fact or scientific rigour trouble them.

'Gossips' say Apple will acquire ARM

Stuff and Nonsense, apparently

"Exciting though it is to have the share price pushed up by these rumours, common sense tells us that our standard business model is an excellent way for technology companies to gain access to our technology. Nobody has to buy the company," East told the Guardian.

Read the whole article here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/marketforceslive/2010/apr/22/armholdings-marketforces

Whoever started the rumour has probably made a killing on the market since yesterday.

Interestingly...

ARM's Twitter feeds and associated Twitter feeds are quiet. Nobody is saying dick about these rumours in Web2.0-land.

Whoever said

Whoever said that it's probably just some traders hoping to push the ARM share price a certain way is probably on the money.

Of course, if not, there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth unless the EU hamstrings Apple's megalomaniacal monopolist potential.

Android on an iPhone? There's an app for that

Somewhere...

Steve Jobs is having a Soccer Manager moment, throwing his toys out of the pram and screaming for heads on silver platters.

Yay!

Commodore 64 may come back as Warren Beatty

Speaking of which...

Has anyone heard of the AmigaOne X1000? The A-Eon site has a spec, but no pictures. They promise customisable processors and various other nerdgasm-inspiring tidbits. And... They promise a desktop enclosure - not just a MoBo like other Amiga OS 4 kit.

http://www.a-eon.com/

http://www.vesalia.de/e_amigaonex1000.htm

http://www.osnews.com/story/22693/New_Amiga_Sports_Programmable_Co-Processor_Dualcore_PPC

I bet it will cost an arm and a leg in the end...

Amigas

As I understand it, the Amiga clones run Amiga OS 4.0, so they actually have more credibility than this Commodore Sixty-Faux (see what I did there?). They also have software emulation of the 68k series CPU and Amiga chipset.

Space Station lightsabre-sparring hoverdroids to be upgraded

Re: CO2?

They're not very large, and they're in constant freefall. They won't need a lot of gas to get the necessary delta-vee to move about (or stop!). I don't think the scrubbers would be working that much harder with these little fellas scooting around.

Anyway, let's see what the locomotive effector EM-field system brings. That said, optical navigation could only be a step away from optical target acquisition...

Rogue admin waits for verdict

Hang on

He's in trouble because he doubted the security know-how of his successors (who basically asked him straight out for the passwords)? OK, so by not turning them over, he effectively locked the city employees out of the IT infrastructure.

Here's the thing: why does one single sysadmin have all of the local government's IT infrastructure passwords? And were there any procedures in place for secure communication?

Pinhead Mac Trojan sticks it to fanbois

I know the article says only low threat level, but...

I'd like to add a heartfelt 'LOL' to the fray.

Thanks.

Nine year-old blamed for US school system hack

Lack of IT training

The funny thing is, in a world obsessed with cumputerising every aspect of modern life, so few of the people expected to work with the force-fed technologies are appropriately trained.

Looking beyond the teacher's SNAFU of leaving their password in plain sight, no ordinary user account should have admin rights, as has been mentioned before. Did the school try to save money by getting Mr Jones the Head of ICT to setup (and consequently fuck-up) the Blackboard system? Or did thy strong-arm the contractors into this foolish account setup?

Whoever's at fault, their head should roll for this. The fact that a child would get up to mischief with an unsecure password should have been considered from the get-go. Revoke the kid's IT privileges for a few weeks, and fire the idiot who made it possible for his mischief to cause that much disruption.

Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

It's not a WiiFit

... but here's the World's Smallest Violin.

I wonder

I wonder how she had the board set up? I bet the silly sausage had it set up on a slippery or low-friction surface.

Interesting point above about the difference in reaction between your typical American and typical Brit.

Volcanic ash grounds dozens of UK flights

I for one

... suggest going to Reykjavijk with colossal cigars, and littering their streets with ash.

See how they like it!

Actually, I'm realistic about it. It's a natural phenomenon. A royal pain in the bum, but nothing can really be done about it. Even if it does fuck up my weekend plans to pop back to Blighty.

/needs 'meh' icon

Atom runs Android, Google plans tablet

Uh...

What I mean by this is that, instead of Google-branded hardware, the hardware should be branded by the manufacturer and run Android.

That, to me, looks stronger in the marketplace than a Google gPad.

gPad: Bad move?

I think that a Google branded tablet shows fear and a weak position. Competing with Apple out of fear rather than belief in the product doesn't strike me as a good idea.

Of course, I could be completely wrong, and Google could be doing this out of conviction that Android is the platform of the future, and they know exactly the hardware spec that will allow it to fully strut its stuff. It just strikes me that this is being done to keep up with the Joneses (or is that Jobses?) next door.

I much prefer the idea of Google putting their OS out there as, "yes, it's a phone OS, but we believe it could also be put to good use in appliances such as..."

Primark pulls 'disgraceful' padded bikini for kiddies

/headdesk

Of course children should not be sexualised, but companies have been exploiting children for financial gain for years.

Even before the boom in "tweenage" disposable income, toy companies who wanted to sell the fuck out of their products would advertise them in the breaks in children's programming, or at times when children would likely be watching.

I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying it's old news.

And those politicians and quangos can go Selbst im Arsch ficken. They're as big a bunch of parasitic, opportunistic vampires as the companies selling this crap to kids.

Labour unfriends Twitter rant candidate

Ummm...

Have we met? You seem to have me to a T!

Whisky

Nobody over 35 drinks blended, unless they're Highland toffs, in which case they'll arrive at university with bottles of Islay single malt. Or if they're over 35 drinking blended, they're probably also wearing a dire tracksuit, Reebok Classics, and have their greasy hair stuffed into a stained baseball cap, and just won the pools.

Six years in Scotland, and the only thing that rubbed off on me was the dour attitude. Bugger.

Mine's the one with a copy of the P&J stuffed in the pocket.

Move to Moray?

It's beautiful, but it's also bastard cold in winter. Not to mention the dire local radio.

And I mean CRIMINALLY dire. Plus you're literally in the middle of nowhere. A very beautiful nowhere, but it's almost 'Here Be Dragons' country.

Fine if you like the outdoors. And own a car that can handle serious snow. And lack either ears or taste in music.

Teuchters

Not to mention David Cameron, Scottish pubs being oft frequented by depressed (and depressing) teuchters, Louis Walsh, and Johnny Walker Red Label.

Fedora 13 - Ubuntu's smart but less attractive cousin

OK

Stop comparing Fedora and Ubuntu.

One fifth of humans say aliens walk among us

Hmmm...

On the one hand, we are shouting out into space with radio broadcasts and general EM leakage, but on the other hand, finding us among all the other sources (natural or otherwise) of RF signals might be like looking for a needle in a collossal haystack.

I DO believe there is other life in the universe (or, at least, I don't believe that there isn't), but the assumption that sentient life would necessarily look like us is... Well, as someone else already mentioned, egotistical. But then, we also believe the universe was created by a deity (or deities) who bears a striking resemblance to us. Even the possibility of bipedal reptilian extraterrestrials capable of fabricating and fitting into a convincing human disguise is a long shot.

This is what happens when you cut science education funding. Are you listening, Peter Mandelson?

Austrian takes pickaxe to Street View spymobile

LOL!

I'll have to show this post to my colleague!

Ten Essential Android Apps

"dark ages of 1.5..."

Speak for yourself, squire ;-)

My Hero is happily running KaguDroid 1.2.2 (Android 2.1) and loving it.

However, I wonder if HTC or service providers are holding back the rollout of 2.1 to older handsets in order to maximise sales of the Desire/Nexus One, Legend and other new handsets that come with 2.1 "pret-a-porter"?

Woman finds Romanian living in shed

Pretty...

Bet she looks like a Banshee when she chisels all the makeup off at night.

And at least her shed-squatter did his bit for the recycling.

That said, I don't know how I'd react in that situation. I'd probably be a bit scared, and then angry, and then compassionate - "WTF are you doing here??? No, really, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING LIVING IN MY SHED, YOU BASTARD! Oh... Well... Ummm... Cuppa tea?"

Facebook gives you the clap: Official

Syphilis Surge

Sounds like a great name for a noisy Speedcore band!

Heathrow security man cops perv scanner eyeful

Re: Traumatised??

The real kicker for me was her claiming she cannot face going in to work.

Lazy sow. She wants to get out of work and sit on her sofa watching Jeremy Kyle, and this is the excuse she's been waiting for.

God forbid she should ever pass a building site. She'll be in therapy for the rest of her days after a chorus of builder's cat-calls.

Don't use some prat checking out your body as an excuse to get out of your dead-end job. Go to college, get a diploma in something interesting, and leave.

Jobcentre ejects Jedi Knight

Hear, hear!

If he actually gave a shit about finding a job, he would've dropped his hood and used the services.

People like him give those unemployed who do try to find employment a bad name.

Castleford locals storm Tickle Cock bridge

Tit-le

I think that at least the Central London former Gropecunt Lane should be returned to its original name (or at least there should be a mention of its original name under the current one).

Rewriting history for "decency" is absurd. Like the Victorians covering up Roman household icons of people having sex in multiple positions, fashions, orifices and pairings.

Note to Captain Kirk: Warp speed will kill you

As others have chimed in

... But phrased slightly differently; I always LOL when vanilla scientific minds try to grapple with science fiction concepts, ignoring both canon and other research, and go for slow-news-day headline grabs.

Why didn't he look up Alcubierre's work and maybe drop the bloke an email?

Twitter 'airport bomb hoax twit' charged

Oh boy

The guy's a prize Muppet, no doubt, but FFS - some speccy tit chatting shit on Twitter is hardly an al Qaeda sleeper cell.

I liked the sandwich board and stocks ideas as suitable punishments. Let's face it, he is a bloody silly bastard, but he's no terrorist.

Punish him for wasting police time, but not for terrorism.

Researchers rip iPad apart to reveal Apple's profits

€65 can of Coke?

Sure, if it's got actual Colombian in it. I think your source has fallen victim to bullshit, squire. Check the Euro-Pound exchange rate (and the exchange rate of the Euro against your local currency, if it's not Sterling). €65 could buy a week's grocery shopping for a couple in Munich. Even as the most expensive city in Germany, a can of Coke costs maybe €1.50 (I don't know, I drink beer at €0.75/500ml bottle).

John Mayer tweets remorse over Playboy interview

Hmmm...

Could Mr Mayer have earned his Hood Pass by appearing on Chappelle's Show a few years ago?

He's a good guitarist - certainly spanks the arse of most axe-torturers we've had to endure since 1990 (I'm looking at you, Noel Gallagher) - but not being American, I have no idea about his popularity (or lack thereof) among my US brethren. That's right, we all know what "niggardly" means, but I can say it without discomfort.

Speaking of the dreaded n-word and Dave Chappelle, remember the sketch he did about the white family called Niggar? I might watch that tonight and laugh myself hoarse.

Tit... le

You spelled "verboten" wrong.

Er

"Colour blindness" is as dangerous as balls-out or furtive racism. It's better (in my houghty opinion) to accept that people are all different in some ways, but shockingly similar in a lot of others.

That's RACIST!

Red haired people deserve to live their lives in peace without being called the g-word.

No World Cup anthem for England football heroes

No song, no problem. No bloody title either.

Maybe they'll get to the final this time. Capello looks like he eats babies for breakfast, and washes them down with hydrochloric acid and Swarfiga. Hopefully he's knocked some discipline into their haircuts and they'll play well enough to deserve being thought of positively.

Then again, drawing Belarus in the group stages... Gimme a break! I'm no great footie bod, but Belarus isn't a nation known for great football. It'll probably be another awful crapshoot.

Why are these guys paid so much again?