Posts by Keith T 84 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Nov 2007
Ah, nothing new here then.
NHS spending dosh on a consultation that is just a load of bollocks.
I'd prefer the question to be extended --
cut or uncut?
shaved or hairy?
average sized knob or proportioned to make men feel better or worse.
left handed or right handed?
The fate of the NHS website is in our hands!
"“Social engineering is the deliberate and malicious manipulation of public perceptions to serve a private agenda”
Nah, that's just posh talk by someone who has gone and clicked on a dodgy advert or been far to greedy when reading e-mails.
They know they've been caught by the dangly bits by some 14 year old and are far too embarrassed to admit it. Too proud to admit to being conned, they think up a new, less of a 'I've been a total mug' kind of phrase.
Only lesser mortals get 'conned' --- posh folk get 'social engineered'.
"The entertainment industry is struggling to deliver the We/Me experience, and still get paid for the valuable content they create."
"Rather than provide what the punters want, we'd prefer to control how they receive content to sell the crap we produce at cheap rates"?
(Whose definition of 'valuable' are we using here?)
I'm getting confused.
At one end we are starting to have a big push in science education on schools.
At the other end we are seeing scientists - sorry - boffins getting told they aren't wanted.
Why should any child want to excel in science if there's no prospect of a proper boffin job after years of study?
"Am I the only person left in the world who still uses a map to get around and still relies on human qualities, like memory and basic survival skills to stay alive?"
Nah, Twat Nav is for wusses.
All that's needed is a half-decent sunspot and most of the taxis will stop working. Learning to read maps is useful for when you're stuck in a jam on a country lane caused by Sad Nav devotees.
For those who are usually unable to find their arses with both hands and Sat Nav - It's the Paris angle.
"We'll finally be able to use MeII (read: Vista), with some of this New-Tech"
Erm, this would be M$ we're talking about?
They usually pitch their products at the processors that are just coming out and with shedloads of memory.
Whatever it is, yer ordinary mortal still won't be able to afford a machine to 'release the full potential of your new purchase'.
"made approximately 1,100 attempts to steal data with a very sophisticated strategy that involved sending staff a total of seven 'phishing' emails, all of which at first glance appeared legitimate,"
Yeah? -- like spam from a machine in the office with 'click here to see Paris in action'.
"Hey, I can't see anything, I'll click again a few times'.
"and all part of europe including asia,australia, south america, Antartica e.t.c"
Now, I know that the E.U. is getting rather large but I was unaware that it encompasses most of the southern hemisphere.
No wonder there's so many bloody immigrants - damn penguins coming over here etc. etc.
" "It's a great chance for managers to make sure their employees feel challenged and valued for the year ahead, rather than unmotivated and without guidance," he said. "
I remember refusing to sign one once as I couldn't agree with just about anything on it. "So who's this then?" I asked. "It certainly isn't me". All sorts of crap about 'poor customer focus' when I'd been coming in at weekends to meet the customer's needs rather than the rather large telecoms firm I worked for. Even had chats with my manager on several Sundays - at work and not over the phone.
I was told "I had to sign" - "What that I agree with this?" - "Yes!".
So I got to see the bosses boss who told me the same thing and I still refused.
Worked out in the end that if they didn't get them all signed off then their respective bonuses would be affected as they weren't getting all their 'people stuff' boxed ticked.
Mind you, when asked about my 'future development within the company' ie 'you should be looking for promotion' (to be a manager???) "What do you want to be" - I said I always wanted to be a train driver or an astronaut. Well, if they're going to be silly, I might as well join in.
In the U.K. if you have your card cloned the police and banks will more or less tell you that it's just tough.
I don't see droves of bank customers withdrawing their money every day when interest rates change so what's the difference? (Northern Rock doesn't come in to this as it's the bank that fucked their customers over).
How about all those lovely adverts about 'consolidating all your debts'? Does no one realise it will still cost more money and that the firms don't give a toss about you as they own your home and dog and cat? How about 'releasing the potential of your mortgage/pension?
Nah, E-bay aren't the real crooks - they may act as agents for crooks but that's about it. Do the police really care if you get robbed for £50? - they might if it was a few hundred thousand.
The man was persuaded to go outside the system to pay for his car.
"Hello? yes your new car is being delivered today. Not in? just leave the cash under a brick by your front door."
There's are more than one born every minute.
(yes, I have lost out once on E-bay but it only made me more security aware)
Catherine Tate should return to Dr Who but not as the bride.
I'd like to see her bring the 'Gran' character to be the Doctors assistant.
"Daleks! what do you want? Now fack off the lot of you! What a load of old shite"
Hmm, maybe as Sarah Jane's long-lost gran . . .
Most commentators seem to want an assistant they could fuck rather than one that could fight. Maybe they'd prefer not to be hiding behind the sofa with a comfort blanket but on the sofa with a box of tissues.
It appears to be the onset of revolution in response to apparent draconian measures from Vulture Central.
To restrict the populace to 'proper' words has been seen as a retrograde step in the development of culture and is being tackled from within the organisation itself. In short there are mobe moles at work.
The public may well have decided once but, as usual, with the public and politics it's all down to who promises the most at any given point in time.
I'm waiting to see who can offer my personal autogyro and the atomic domestic oven and then I'll modify my language to suit.
Until then I shall refrain from using either 'mobe' or 'mobile' or even 'mobile phone' but carry out my own incursions with the use of 'cell'. (I'm not off to get my coat but a pubic wig if I'm gonna have ta talk like that)
Once again we are faced with an influx of unwanted immigrants causing hardship and heartache our own native workers.
While, before, we were happy to see foreigners toiling on our farms for a pittance and poor living conditions this is taking things too far.
Masses of foreign invaders not happy just to visit our shores but pillaging the crops. Such are the numbers of these non-native freeloaders that the police have been unable to provide any effective deterrent.
I say send them back to the Mediterranean where they belong and leave our poor farm workers alone.
. . .and are used to having a corner folded over and shoved in a pocket.
They are chucked around and bunged in the bottom of bags then, with apparently no damage, pulled out and read or given to someone else.
It's not as if you can relax in a hot, steamy bath with an electronic book - or easily dry it out if it falls in the water.
Also, if they are forgotten about it's not much of a cost to buy another one - nor do the batteries run down or the screen get scratched.
Oh, and they don't need a network connection either, they work well in rugged conditions and will survive being lobbed out of a window.
Audio books may still be better but would one prefer the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry reading to you or your book capable of displaying pictures of Paris H instead of text?
No doubt there will be a lot of talking and meetings and planing and stuff - which, if Crossrail is anything to go by, will mean the project starting in about 10 years time and needing a drastic re-think as the technology will have moved on a wee bit.
Then we will see the usual compromises and end up with a silk purse miraculously turned in to a pig's ear no matter who is running it.
Hopefully we'll all have gone wireless by then or getting fed down the leccy cables instead.
Are folks beginning to wake up to the fact that these sites are not really there for their benefit. There's gold in them thar net junkies and there are swarms of prospectors coming over the hills to mine the pockets of the punters.
We just need to link Facebook up to Tesco Clubcard and it's all sorted.
Do the little darlings go out in their cars and for get to pay sometimes?
Do their mummies check to see if they've tied their laces and wiped their noses before they leave?
These are supposed to be trained operators of expensive and complex technology, if they need a box to pay for them - should they be on the road in the first place if they can't even trust themselves to cough up for cluttering the roads in London.
Shirley, paying the fine would wake them up - if not they either can afford the fine and don't care or deserve to get hammered for the extra dosh.
Good luck to McCluskey.
I hope he does well - the drivers can't moan about another 'stealth tax' anymore with someone charging them for getting charged to drive in to town and the drivers willing to pay extra.
Kiss were the very type of b(l)and that brought about the necessity of punk. Accompanied by record company execs hoovering up too much coke and thinking that "Rock Music (tm)" was what the world needed with all it's empty posturing and power chords. Nothing new, nothing original, rock for the MacDonalds generation - freen Kiss band member with your Happy Meal.
It's not even as if they were actually outrageous - only theatrical.
That people actually went out and bought anything from the sanitised clowns always amazed me.
Wazzup Gene? - no-one interested in your back catalogue?
Maybe it's cos you've been found out at last to be nothing more than a poser who believed his own hype.
There's enough bollocks for sale on-line as it is.
Why would we need more if this 'boy band' shite unless he feels he isn't stinking rich enough.
Anyway, George Martin did more for the Beatles than any of the 'fab four' - there's so many overdubs there's no way they could have played live.
Awaits flames
(I made a flameproof jacket once - wasn't very good but I did asbestos I could)
"Well... All I can say is that it is truly deserved. The west has shovelled god knows how many hundreds of millions into Eastern European and Russian NGOs in the last 20 years. At least some of that could have gone towards making them legal as per the western standards instead of lining personal pockets of criminals and fraudsters wearing "dissident" masks."
Unfortunately the "criminals and fraudsters" are generally the ones in power.
The use of the gun as a way of dealing with business rivals has ended up with a really wealthy powerbase supported by Putin. In that respect there is far less democracy now than there was under the Communists.
Money says it all and money can be used to shut down any dissenting voice - yes, the power used to be in The Party but now it looks more like a large version of Chicago in the 20's. To gain power you grab it - but only with the consent of those at the top. But to control it you also need to shut down those who raise thier voices.
It's far closer to Chinese 'freedom' than even the 'Merkin version.
But it's all to do with control gas, oil and heavy industry, sod all to do with raising the people out of the frozen mud.
If this is 'free enterprise' you can shove it.
I know a couple of people working at different branches of Game .
They both say that the demand for Wii's has been huge - if they got 10 in a day they'd sell 10 a day - almost everyone wants one.
PS3's have been in stock since the launch and there's never any problems with stock of 360's.
People seem to want the games that the Wiimote is designed for.
But you first need a Wii to play them on.
Is there another console that does boxing as well as the Wii?
Games like football managers are best on other consoles or on PC's and those who want lurid graphics go elsewhere too.
Gameplay v's graphics, horses for courses and all that.
(but does anyone use their Wii for regular e-mails?)
So there you are, at the airport and the droid luggage hasn't had Service Pack 2 yet. You find yourself attracting all the other droid suitcases due to non-filtering of other signals from mobiles and the like and end up looking like mother duck.
Or some bright spark with laptop picks your bag up on wireless and starts driving it around the terminal. Hmm, now there's something to while away the hours -- bag racing.
" a tenner says I can get my bag round the waiting area and back quicker that you can get yours to do the same"
"Nah, lets play human bowling with the queue at Macdonalds"
For those who would see this as some sort of opportunity to save bags and sell them on e-bay five years later there may be a slight problem.
Quite a lot of the bags are photo-degradable and I'm not sure if a Jiffy bag of white dust sold as 'Genuine Tesco 2006' will go down too well.
Meanwhile, the Paris angle --
"No one ever paid to watch Britney Spears dancing in a skintight catsuit made from hemp." Poor use of hemp.
Either round the neck or in a bong.
"Well let me check....
Yes indeed, a page festooned with doubleclick ad's.
Well don El Reg, truly living up to your moto about hand biting."
I didn't know there are ads on the Reg.
Ah well, another fule not using Adblock.*
It's not as if he didn't know about it if he's a regular Reg reader.
*unless the poor sod's forced to use IE - in which case he has my sympathy.
Thanks for not using 'boffin' this time.
We expect it to be used in conjunction with men in white coats -- not for those who other men in white coats give rides to.
You don't get many porky eggheads - they are usually either thin and pale from incarceration in deep dark cellars (and often accompanied by an Igor) or the young West Coast type that cycle everywhere and go in for extreme sports.
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