Posts by Ned Ludd

Reg readers scrap over ultimate bacon sandwich

Simples

Bacon + bread... anything else is superfluous

Fake Facebook pull-down tricks social climbers into swallowing vile load

Slipping

Five comments in and no one's used the term Farcebook/Faecesbook or gone on a smug rant about how they don't need Facebook because they have real friends, etc, etc... I'm disappointed.

UPDATE: GAGA team hunts down grass-smoking ROBOT

Re: Grass detector?

Though you can assume that if the grass is dead it probably doesn't need mowing.

Global DNS takedown plotters disowned by Anonymous

Re: Re: well now

In fact, if the powers-that-be wanted to create a catch-all domestic/cyber terror bogeyman that's, by it's very nature, the perfect patsy for false flag operations, they couldn't have come up with better.

Just saying...

Police probing ‘threats’ over Canadian internet privacy bill

The Revolution will be Tweeted

I think the medium is very much the message here... you could get a million people to sign a petition or march on parliament and not change a thing, but it seems that increasingly politicians are becoming more fearful of online protests like this. I suppose that's probably the underlying motivation for this kind of legislation.

Microsoft explains bland new Windows logo

Tiles

Looks like tiles to me... tiles cleverly arranged to look like a window. I'm sure the designer still can't believe he got away with it.

What's in the box, Windows sysadmin?

"Windows is a powerful and complex Operating System (OS)."

So that's what OS stands for... I, like I'm sure most El Reg readers, had no idea. Thanks for clarifying.

Angry Birds boss: Piracy helps us 'get more business'

Anything but!

Playmonauts could down airliners, Canuck flyboy warns

Outraged airline passenger...

Do these pilots seriously not look where they are going?

Ocean currents emerge as climate change hot-spots

Clearly the world's oceans are responsible for global warming... I suggest we simply drain them and the problem will go away.

Redmond campaigns for gay marriage rights

"it seems an odd business decision to make when they sell a lot of their products the US"

And since Apple have also expressed support for same-sex marriage, I guess the devout will have no choice but to go with Linux?

Spammers hit mobes with QR code junkmail jump pads

So how do you tell from a "human readable" URL if the destination page contains malware? Personally I never visit a page unless the author has provided me with a print copy of the source code in advance...

Your mind's '.brain' jpeg-like picture file format probed

Security

It's only a matter of time before we get malware disguised as .brain files!

Famous 'Silhouette' Flash illusion unravelled

She goes both ways...

...and that's fine by me!

Hasbro unleashes 'Spastic' Transformer

Wait just a minute...

It looks like they've even gone so far as to trademark the word "spastic". I like that.

Spazzing out!

On the bald-ass Canadian prairie of the 1980s, a Spazz was a kid who was hyperactive or blathering nonsensically ("spazzing out")... I've always understood that "spastic" could be used to describe something that moves in a jerky, erratic fashion – which could make sense here.

'Plastic surgeon' cuffed for in bar boob checks

Only two?

In the last ten years (in Canada) I haven't seen a single doctor who *wasn't* from South Africa...

Samsung NF210 dual-core netbook

Seen it before...

Newton eMate, anyone?

Google search rolls out 'instant' site previews

Sigh...

I wish they'd just stop fucking with it.

HTML5 web video flashes past Flash

I don't get it...

I'll admit I know bugger-all about the subject, but surely HTML5 can also be used to present flash-based video??? Isn't the issue more H.264 vs Flash?

Enlighten me!

Judge tosses lawsuit from copyright troll

OMG!!!!1111!1!!1!!

A sensible ruling on fair use... it gives me hope for the future of the human race... sort of.

Facebook pages very much public, even when set as private

I'd like to be the first smug bastard to go on about how superior I am for not using Facebook...

...but I bet I won't be.

Ms. Gates: 'Bill does not use a Mac'

Duh!

Bill hasn't used a Mac since he switched to Linux last summer.

Story gone

Fanfuckingtastic!

About time, really.

Robot teddy bears attack Alzheimer's

I for one welcome our...

etc

Baby Boomers committing suicide at unprecedented rates

Time to die...

Going through life thinking you're part of Generation X, only to be told halfway through that you're actually a Baby Boomer is surely enough to make one suicidal!

Google data center links shot down by 'bored' riflemen

Rednecks suck!

"I think you’ll find that Rednecks can be among the kindest folk you’ll ever meet."

Can be, but often aren't. I also live in rural Alberta, so I know exactly how full of shit you are.

Pentagon confirms attack breached classified network

A title is pointless

“It was a network administrator's worst fear: a rogue program operating silently... "

It's so much easier to spot them when they go "bing!".

Perseid meteors 'thrill star-gazers'

Photo...

Why sit out in the cold, getting a sore neck waiting for a photo that could be 'shopped in 30 seconds?

Android gets talk-tastic Froyo upgrade

@By the way what are the android equivalent of fan bois?

Fandroids, presumably.

First SMS Trojan for Android is in the wild

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance

...which seems a bit steep to me.

Hotmail still not working? Use Chrome to fix it, says MS

@Test Man

"There's an easy way to fix it... use an e-mail client application like Windows Live Mail or Outlook to access it."

Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of having webmail?

Stealth fighter in Canadian Wikipedia brouhaha

You can stuff your title...

"The whole mess is typically Canadian - and we have three coast lines in need of protection."

Not to mention a border to the south.

Hack uses Google Street View data to stalk its victims

Ha!

Let's see how smug all those MAC users are now!

Ballmer and Softies sacrifice sleep to catch iPad

Can Microsoft catch up to Apple?

It's too Zune to tell.

Unpatched shortcut vuln exploited by mainstream malware

Mac and Linux users...

...you can put your smug hats back on now!

Nokia latest to feel wrath of Jobs

Subjective

In the last ten years I've had a Nokia somethingorother, a Samsung Upstage, an iPhone 3GS and a Motorola MicroTAC... the MicroTAC was the only one that didn't suffer from signal loss if handled the wrong way (becuase it had the same radio transmitter as cold-war era nuclear submarine). I have to wonder if differing levels of electrical resistance in the user is a significant factor... boffins?

Microsoft issues stopgap fix for critical Windows flaw

Nuclear facilities running Windows???

That's it, we're all doomed!

Mac sales tripled since 2005

As a long-time Mac user...

I really find the zealotry of "converts" quite irritating... it's like listening to born-again Christians or ex-smokers going on about how their lives have changed. Seriously, who gives a shit?

Linux to eclipse Microsoft's 'all-in' tablet enthusiasm

Two nits to pick...

I'm fairly certain that tablets aren't a new category at all... and, speaking of Apple, I find it odd that iOS isn't even in the running.

Wikileaks' US army 'leaker' arrested

@ Being Held?

"It's almost as if the whole world was being run by warmongering lunatics who hate having their murderous actions known to the public..."

Seems a fair assessment.

Apple rejects crazy canuck's seal bludgeon game

As a proud Canadian...

...let me just mention that out on the ice floes it's hard to tell the difference between seal fur and a black turtleneck. I'm just saying...

Mozilla becomes latest to dump Mac OS X 10.4 support

Modernity

"If you're running a G3 then it's probably too slow to view modern websites"

Correct, assuming by "modern" you mean bogged down with flash and unnecessary javascript...

Camel carcasses menace Outback water supplies

Re: Did you go to school?

"the apostrophe is a useful too"

Pedantry is more effective if you proof before posting.

NASA: the Moon is a hydrated mistress

@AC

"Presumably, you're not actually interested in shipping water back from the moon."

Obviously not - it's a ridiculous notion... surely some sort of long hose taking advantage of earth's gravitational pull would be much more efficient.

I don't mean to sound negative...

...but don't we already have enough water on earth? I mean, really, what would it cost to get one of these 2 gallon buckets back to earth?

Brain-delving boffins in key monkey-butler breakthrough

You know where this ends...

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

MS patent looks just like Unix command, critics howl

A title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Time to keel haul the patent system.

Apple chokes on Woolworths logo

Look at it this way:

goatse!

Disney sued over Pixar lamp 'copy'

In defense of Disney

I simply can't believe that the company that brought us Mary Poppins and the Little Mermaid would do anything even remotely unethical ... I think these ungrateful Norwegians should stop picking on Disney and the lot of you should be ashamed for be a bunch of nasty bullies.