Posts by Shonko Kid

Brit firm PinPlus flogs another password 'n' PIN killer

"GrIDsure simply didn’t have the right team ..."

How magnanimous of him. Of course it's was the "team's" failing.

Nokia opens Maps to rivals, flogs uber-budget €15 phone

Re: Meh

"I don't really understand the point anyway. Mostly they all look the same, because they're all a vaguely rectangular shape with a big glass front"

Yes, that is my point. They're all pretty much the same. You basically choose the largest screen you can comfortably hold, then which colour matches your wardrobe. Dull.

"Do many people buy smartphones on looks?" Of course they do.

Re: Meh

"and their phones all look the same."

Yes, but you'll notice that they don't have a dozen different models of it all looking the same. Their product strategy is clearly a singular one, and you basically just have to choose the specs/price you want.

Compare to Nokia of old, when they ruled the market, and filled every possible niche with a wide variety of form factors. Not just picking your screen size and price point. Dull.

Meh

Does Nokia really have no competent industrial designers now? All these WP phones just look the same, and it's quickly becoming Meh. I bet even Elop can't tell them apart.

Trekkies detect Spock's Vulcan homeworld ORBITING PLUTO

Khan

Should've gone for 'Khan' as a name, then they could've had Shatner announce it's new name in true style.

Don't Menshn the snore: Chick-lit queen's jabber site killed in its sleep

"sound one and will be done very successfully by somebody else one day"

He's right. It's called Usenet.

Boffins find 17,425,170-digit prime number

"22.45 megabyte download awaits."

Shurely it would be easier[1] to simply download a JavaScript program that generated the required number, rather than transferring the 17 million digits verbatim?

[1] for small values of easier.

We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

...

So, presumably non-rectangular tables would be OK then?

I mean, FFS Apple, I hope Samsung open a shiny store and use tables that have rounded corners. In Cupertino.

Record numbers of you are reading this headline right now

Facebook accounting

'unique' users? How is this determined? I can exclusively reveal that during November 2012, I will have visited El Reg from at least 3 different machines/IP Addresses. I've forgotten how many times I've had to agree to the cookie policy. Though, having signed in on two of those machines, is the auditing clever enough to match those up?

Never-the-less, it's good to see El Reg going strong.

Happy birthday, Lisa: Apple's slow but heavy workhorse turns 30

"Apple invents the Personal Computer. Again."

I see that their marketing department has never rested on it's laurels, and has continued to provide fresh, up to the minute copy...

VIA bakes a fruitier Rock cake to rival the Brit Raspberry Pi

"supplied with a book-like cardboard case"

It comes with a box?!? What's everyone going to do with their 3D printers now?

Playboy fined £100k by Blighty watchdog for FLASHING SMUT at kids

"I have no solution to this"

I do, don't let kids access the internet unsupervised, until you are confident that they are old/mature enough to understand that there's shit on the internet they'll wish they'd never seen, that it's not how normal people treat other people, and no matter what, they need to treat others with care and respect.

It's that simple.

And I guess, 'allowing' your teenage son to find your stash of Razzle would probably divert their interest from the internet anyway.

NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

"the most authentic experience possible"

If it's that good, you won't be needing real guns anymore.

Problem solved.

Amazon-bashed HMV calls in administrators, seeks buyer

Re: It was only a matter of time

"Tesco. I see it in there all the time."

Wow, must be a regional thing then, I think I saw it in one of the massive Tesco stores once.

"Ideally you should ask you local newsie to order it for you and buy it there"

That's true :-) Use it or Lose it

Re: It was only a matter of time

"what do they actually sell that you can't get from a supermarket or Amazon or one of those cheap book outlets"

Retro Gamer magazine. Smiths is the only regular stockist of it as far as I can tell, save from the odd Menzies/Maccoll supplied independent.

I should really get a sub, but I enjoy the excitement of wandering into Smiths and seeing the latest issue on the shelf. Having it dumped on the doormat by the postie just isn't the same.

Sheffield ISP: You don't need a whole IPv4 address to yourself, right?

Re: They're doing this backward...

You seem to have missed the bit where Plusnet (or anyone else) doesn't know what effect it will have on various applications that Joe Q Public might be using. Sure, they could opt everyone in, but then have 90% of their customers complaining that X no longer works for them, and switching ISP. Not a great move.

Hyperspeed travel looks wrong: Leicester students

"won’t see the stars stretching by"

That effect was only used for acceleration/deceleration to and from Hyper Space, whilst in Hyper Space George went for a sort of bluey-white cloudy effect that rotated slightly, possibly similar to that described by the students. It didn't get much screen time, as it's not as pretty as the star-stretch effect.

Titsup Windows Phone 8 orders user to cram 'boot disc' in mobe

Re: Demonstrates that Windows NT code still lurks under the surface of Windows Phone 8

Exactly, which was the whole point of not being able to use any of the underlying CE APIs in WP7, as they were all going to get thrown out when WP was switched over to the NT based kernel. This isn't news.

iPad mini to outsell iPad, get Retina Display? iPad to slenderize?

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Next year's Company X Product to be incrementally better than this year!

EXTRA EXTRA!

May even look slightly different from last year's!

Badges for Commentards

Re: Goals?

Thumbs down?!? Don't you people like setting yourself goals? Or was it the suggestion that voting could be swayed by bribery and/or physical violence?

Goals?

How about some encouragement to earn badges, so It could say 'You've posted 89 times this last year, only 11 left to go for a Bronze badge' or 'You're only a few rounds of beer and a cattle prod away from a Gold badge'

Nokia RIM shot: Seeks royalties after winning wireless patent spat

"mobile device market, which is now dominated by Apple and Samsung"

Mobile device market, dominated by Samsung and Nokia you mean.

The smartphone subsector of that is dominated by Apple and Samsung, but Nokia still ship crap loads of S40 devices, some of which would give a low end Android device a run for it's money.

Ten technology FAILS

OpenDoc and Reasons why Symbian was hard to code for #94

The OS that became Symbian had a similar principle; that editors for the core data types could be embedded within each other. But because at the time, the largest system overhead to running multiple processes were the pages (multiples of 32K) of RAM needed for the call stack, meant that an instance of an editor control had to use as little of it as possible. This contributed to a pathological loathing of allocating anything on the stack, which meant you had to allocate on the heap, but without any form of garbage collection, or try/catch blocks, there had to be a mechanism to keep track of all those heap allocations if something threw an exception... Which was the job of the CleanupStack mechanism.

And beyond ER5 nobody ever really made use of the embedding editors paradigm. Everyone HAD to use the CleanupStack.

Nintendo shrinks Wii for Crimbo

Interesting...

Is there something particular about the Canadian Games market? The price point is certainly attractive, but I don't see the need for cheap Wii hardware, unless there is still a high demand for certain Wii games, and they've run out of the full size Region 1 consoles.

Maybe Nintendo are using the Canadians as guinea pigs for a Sony-style console lite approach to extending a platform's lifespan?

Apple's profits fetish could spell its DOOM

Dominant market share?

Can the author please point to where iOS dominanted on the helpfully included graph? I can't quite see it.

If you're going to do an analysis piece, best not to open with an obviously bogus claim.

Microsoft aims Windows Embedded 8 at $1.4 trillion market

"services and devices" company

That's usually the first step to meltdown, just ask Nokia.

'iPhone 5S' said to begin trial production next month

Oh FFS!

Is this really the start of the next-iPhone hypemill? Seems to get earlier every year.

Can we just take it as read that Apple, like every other product lead company, is working on newer models of their existing products, and are maybe looking at new products to expand their portfolio? Is that really such shocking news?

I heard a rumour that somone in Cupertino recently wrote 'iPhone 6' on a slide, so the 5S is obsolete already!!!111!!! SSSSsshhhh. :-/

Did hackers uncover Petraeus' saucy affair webmails before FBI?

Of course he should resign...

If he can't even keep an affair secret!

007 hardware: Gadgetry, spyware and things that make you go Boom

Ericsson phone

The real phone it was modelled on was quite a gem, it was Ericsson's answer to the Nokia Communicator, but was canned shortly before release. Real shame.

Sony admits PSPs will not fly off shelves, says phones and PS3s will

Mobility costs

What planet have you been living on? Are the laptops there cheaper than similar spec desktops?

Plus the hardware in the Vita is pretty much bleeding edge, the PS3 is a dinosaur compared to it. if it's any consolation, when the PS4 does show up it will cost more than the Vita.

Analyst slams Apple innovation FAIL

"Brought touch to phones and tablets"

Err, whuh? Popularised, brought into the mainstream maybe. But both were common place before the iEra

As for Apple's current level of innovation, could it be that they've run out of stuff to copy^H^H^H^Hinvent?

They seem to have peaked, perhaps they're not as cool as they once were?

?

Snooper's-charter plans are just misunderstood, sniffles tearful May

"Who the hell do we vote for?"

If you don't like any of the candidates you're likely to be offered at the next election, then stand yourself. Use it or lose it.

Who knows, you may be surprised at how much support you can get from the disaffected.

That's a lot of pr0n!

Fans' loyalty questioned as iPhone popularity plummets

Errr

I struggle to see how having really high end CPU specs and having an optimized OS can both be WIN at the same time. If it was that optimized, it wouldn't need a really powerful CPU.

French gov 'plans to hand Google €1bn tax bill' - report

Re: Lead the way then...

"such as the old run your own company and pay yourself minimum wage scam"

That's not a scam, it's just the most meaningful way for certain self-employed people to pay taxes - why should I pay government for the privelege of employing myself? For such people income is largely uncertain, and PAYE doesn't accomodate week-week changes in circumstances. For those that do have that certainty, they usually fall under the watchful eye of IR35.

So don't drag freelancers and PSVs into this, it's a whole different thing - it's not like I've set up a company in The Caimans that owns the Trademark 'Shonko Kid' and they charge me millions per year in licensing. Though now I think of it...

For sure, I'm dead against obvious scams, such as the recent Jimmy Carr revelation, and the Starbuck's one was particularly inventive, but you have to remember one thing. For a publicly traded company, the first priority is maximising shareholder value. That's the Law. And that means employing armies of accounts to minimise tax bills. Which as an added bonus means those guys aren't roaming the streets!

And if you don't like your own tax arrangements, then you know what to do don't you.

I live in my society, and I fund it too. I even employ the services of a local accountants. Frankly I find the comparision between freelancers trying to eke out a living and the tax avoiding shenanigans of MegaCorp insulting. And you even hide behind the Fawkes mask.

I'm also suprised you've been upvoted so many times on this, Have all the IT contractors left the building?

Flame on.

Windows 8 unleashed! Midnight launch for world+dog

Re: It will be remembered as...

+1 for having to remember ME, I'd completely forgotten all about it!

Boeing recipe turns cooking oil into jet fuel

Re: "converting the waste cooking oil into sustainable aviation fuel."

While I'd agree that we should probably be reusing it in more mundane ways, such as cars and electricity generation, I don't think we shouldn't explore other uses, such as aviation. Once the dino-juice is gone, then it'll be back to biplanes and blimps for air travellers, and that I'm sure you'll agree is a sobering prospect. It seems to be for at least two of the worlds largest aircraft manufacturers.

You argue the jets are delicate things, but ice in the filters could happen no matter what the fuel, it's not like they're just going to dump the used oil right into the tanks, scraps* and all!

*colloq. Batter crumbs left over from frying battered fish.

Microsoft has no plans for a second Windows 7 Service Pack

Re: It's egg-on-face time again! - not

That's my point (in a way). Of that demographic, most of the PC-owners are still happily using XP Home, blissfully unaware of Vista, Win7 or even 8! And those PCs are gradually seeing less use for the common tasks (surfing, email, solitaire) as they've bought iPads or Galaxy Tabs thinking that THEY HAVE upgraded their PC.

Think about it, of the 100 million people who've bought an iPad, how many of them do you think didn't own a PC beforehand? Close to 0 I'd guess, that's 100 million PCs that aren't going to be upgraded any time soon, Microsoft has lost those users.

And PC Whirled be damned, no one goes in their anymore; you can buy a computer/tablet at Tesco. And Tesco don't treat you like a shoplifter the moment you step through the door, or trawl your harddrive for pr0n.

It's egg-on-face time again!

Clearly they are looking down the barrel of poor uptake for W8, and want to avoid looking bad, but I can't see how this can end well for them. If we accept that W8 will not be a sell-out success, then what?

Users stick with W7 until eventually moving away from a Windows PC - quite likely for home users

They cave in and do a SP2, admitting that W8 wasn't what the market wanted

Do a W8 SP, or W9 that is more in line with a W7 upgrade - they could at least spin this as being a version aimed at power-users,ie people who need a real pc, rather than a media tablet.

Gates: Microsoft will merge Phone and Windows platforms

"can any of these companies translate market leads in one sector to the others?"

No. And here's why.

Microsoft have been trying to leverage their de-facto PC monopoly into mobile for over nigh-on 15 years, with very little success, I don't see that changing. Ever.

Apple have niched themselves nicely into the high end, they are not about to start flooding the market with cheap tat, nor license their OSs to box-shifters to do likewise. They are what they are, somewhere between high end and aspirational fashion accessory for hipsters.

Google stand the best chance of the lot, except for the sheer legacy that Microsoft has built. Remember that Win 7 will likely be the OS of choice in the business world for the next decade. Android isn't a platform that could replace that, and neither is ChromeOS. Google would have to build something specifically to target the PC market, and whilst they have PC user's eyes with the Apps platform, GMail and search, I can't see that they'll even give it a second thought. Let Microsoft deal with the messy business of PC device driver compliance.

My prediction is a gradual, lesser reliance on the PC, as the main battle has shifted away from people's desks to anywhere their attention is drawn to a screen. And of the big 3, Google is better suited to fight that battle.

share and share alike

They'd better be careful that they don't end up also sharing user-bases, ie none.

Can I get a cab for two to oblivion please?

Nokia earnings pain masks intact war chest, brewing counterattack

Couldn't give them away!

How long will Nokia continue to ignore what the market has been shouting at them for the past 18 months? And been shouting at Microsoft for well over a decade; No Windows on our phones.

It's a real shame, as WP does have some nice touches, and Nokia, as always, turn in some great HW designs, it should be a success, but the market just isn't interested.

I wonder, if somewhere in a soon-to-be-sold-off office in Espoo, there's a spreadsheet with the sales projections for those canned-just-before-release MeeGo and Symbian handsets. I wonder if it still seems like a good idea to the Nokia Board.

And what of Meltemi? If 'smartened-up' S40 handsets can outsell all of the Smart Devices division's efforts who knows how well a properly smart replacement platform could've done?

I'd love to hear what Elop is telling the Board.

Apple loses UK 'Samsung copied us' appeal: Must publicly GROVEL

Cut-out and keep collectors edition

Be worth buying a paper just to frame this.

Microsoft Surface: Designed to win, priced to fail

Angry birds: Redmond edition

Perhaps Rovio could do a custom version for Surface, where you fling chairs instead of birds, and the targets could be half eaten apples, robots and maybe even those Jobs effigies that were banned.

I'd buy a Surface to play Angry Chairs any day!

BYOD cheers up staff, boosts productivity - and IT bosses hate it

"cheers up staff" ... "IT bosses hate it"

Any possible causal link perchance, perhaps Simon might like to comment?

Facebook's CHAIR sat on by 1 billion people ... bitch

Celebrate this.... bitch!

I feel like deleting my account in celebration. That's my 'real' one, and the dozens of fake ones I use for testing FB integration.

Dear Zuck, you don't have 1bn users, no where close. Don't tell the stockholders, but I bet it's closer to 100m than 1bn.

Major Freeview EPG revamp to go ahead after appeals rejected

Why is this a problem

I mean really? As is mentioned ^^ the channels identify themselves in ways other than 'programme number' or 'channel number', Is it so hard for a TV to store the mapping of programme numbers, ie what I press on the remote, to channel identifiers, ie the actual data stream, such that any retune only remaps them, not deletes them and imposes a fresh, arbitrarily defined, mapping on me?

If it's that hard, perhaps I should patent it?

Re: Please Stop it.

A really smart TV could check and auto-retue every time you put it on 'standby'...

Better pay your taxes: The world's NOT going to end this year

"are going to be disappointed"

Really?!? I'm amazed.

"a gaggle of experts have said."

Experts? Experts?!? Who are these so called experts and where can I get a job like that.

NASA working on faster-than-light drive capable of WARP TEN

Sheesh!!

NASA: We think we've worked out a way to make 'Warp Drives'!!

El Reg Commentards: Doesn't it suck how Star Trek was so self-inconsistent.