* Posts by Frumious Bandersnatch

2619 posts • joined 8 Nov 2007

One does not simply repurpose an entire internet constellation for sat-nav, but UK might have a go anyway

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Is it "Hammer Time" yet?

(aaaw, I thought it was always Hammer Time)

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Re: Full-blown kakistocracy

It was on glossy paper and they used HP ink.

So when they can't make the repayments it will be repossessed?

After huffing and puffing for years, US senators unveil law to blow the encryption house down with police backdoors

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Re: 5$ wrench does not work

There's always https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber-hose_cryptanalysis

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Re: TSA locks

And then someone will have to release a photo of some guy with the master key written on a Post-It beside his terminal...


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Re: "A trio of Republican senators"

an asynergy?

Chime after chime: Apple restores iconic Mac boot sound removed in 2016

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At least it's not chyme after chyme

Have they fixed the winter vomiting bug yet?

Gulp! Irish Water outsources contact centres to Capita for up to €27m over 7 years

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Re: "new software and digital capabilities"

I don't speak Welsh (Cymraeg, sorry), but I did happen to know this via gardening. Welsh Onions don't actually come from Wales. They are literally "foreign" onions.

Only true boffins will be able to grasp Blighty's new legal definitions of the humble metre and kilogram

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Re: The 1959 International yard and pound agreement

Nah, it's all simple. You just have a leap inch every 8 miles.

Don't panic: An asteroid larger than the Empire State Building is flying past Earth this weekend but we're just fine

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"but we're just fine"

... until we're not.

Staff in a huff, personal call with Trump, picking fights with Twitter, upsetting civil-rights groups – a week in the life of Facebook's Zuckerberg

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Re: It's just business

Your TDS is front and center

I know I'm probably asking for it, but "top detective skills?"

After 30 years of searching, astroboffins finally detect the universe's 'missing matter' – using fast radio bursts

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Re: average office

One Arcturan ant's space-fart?

Trump issues toothless exec order to show donors, fans he's doing something about those Twitter twerps

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Re: Trumpetsters Trumpet Drumpfs Lumps

To whoever thumbed me down ... you do know what "reductio ad absurdum" means, don't you?

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Re: Trumpetsters Trumpet Drumpfs Lumps

It's a private company and they can do anything they want!

So is Blackwater.

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Pique Trump?

Nah, X=X is a tautology.

Clearview AI sued by ACLU for scraping billions of selfies from social media to power its facial-recog-for-cops system

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The US produces a far superior strain of snake oil!

Accept no substitutes!

This oil was gathered from genuine snakes. Rubbernecking is not a crime! Even technologically augmented, slomo-enabled, contour-mapping, automatically-collating, market-finding and fractional-distillated rubbernecking is not a crime!

In fact, it is a constitutionally-protected activity. My right to record as I wish and relay my observations (in whatever way I wish to package them) is INVIOLATE!

I bring you the white Bronco. I bring you ... FREEDOM!


Made-up murder claims, threats to kill Twitter, rants about NSA spying – anything but mention 100,000 US virus deaths, right, Mr President?

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Re: Booo-ring

What is "boo ring?" I have get in this boo ring, yes?

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Re: You supported a system...

God help & protect us.

Based on the "bang-up" job he's been doing so far, I hope he'll keep his nose out of it.

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Re: They didn't vote for him

Only, we heard that song before in Europe and we are not impressed.

<bad taste>What, did Abba beat the UK in the Eurovision one year?</bad taste>

If someone could stop hackers pwning medical systems right now, that would be cool, say Red Cross and friends

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While, um, ...

stories that have apparently been going around are worrying, I would be more worried if the appropriate paperwork wasn't filed in, um, a reasonable timescale. So, uh, if you could all file these TPS reports by tomorrow morning, that would be, um, great.

(what's the worst that could happen, right?)

UK COVID-19 contact-tracing app data may be kept for 'research' after crisis ends, MPs told

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"it in a way that only the NHS server can recover"

So it's like a one-way hash, except it's reversible. Give these guys a Nobel Prize!

Forget tabs – the new war is commas versus spaces: Web heads urged by browser devs to embrace modern CSS

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I propose a hyphen-less rendering of "comma-less"

but then, I'd probably, logically, have to propose a hyphenless rendering of "hyphen-less"

You know it makes sense.

(You want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes? Well, you might want to take these Class C drugs. They come in red and blue ... but also purple!)

We're in a timeline where Dettol maker has to beg folks not to inject cleaning fluid into their veins. Thanks, Trump

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Re: "Orange Man Bad!"

Maybe he could use that Wyclef Jean song as a campaign anthem.

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Re: "Orange Man Bad!"

And in case you want to retort with something like "Oh, but Finland always tops the rankings for happiest countries!", well what does that tell you about the existence of a thing called "happiness" in this world of ours? IT DOES NOT EXIST!

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Your awl fecks yews.

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Re: "Orange Man Bad!"

Well if you believe America is real and not something made up on the internet

Finland! That's the "country" that was invented on the Internet. Do you not know anything? FFS!

Stripe is absolutely logging your mouse movements on websites' payment pages – for your own good, says CEO

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I'm Irish ...

and Stripe probably pays a nominal amount of tax to the state (what has to pay for emergency SARS-CoV-2/Covid-19 related expenses and such), so in theory I should be grateful/prostrate but I still find myself having to say:

Gwaaaan t'fuck

Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo

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Since you ask ...

perhaps Reg-reading shed boffins can discuss how they could improve Reardon's design

Forget magnets and the Hall Effect. Use capacitance instead. Dig up Léon Theremin and ask him. Or just look him up in Wikipedia. Less grave-robby and probably more instructive.

Practically* speaking, wear RFID earrings and tape the emitter wand part to your forearms.

(*anything involving duct tape counts as "practical")

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A ferrule and his magnet

are soon joined.

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If he had died ...

would the death certificate say "Death by Misinvention?"

Remember that clinical trial, promoted by President Trump, of a possible COVID-19 cure? So, so, so many questions...

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Re: Follow

No! Follow the Monkey! MAGA!

'Azure appears to be full': UK punters complain of capacity issues on Microsoft's cloud

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Experts advised "PANIC" ...

as, Slowly, One By One, all the copies of "Never gonna give you up!" Were Going Out.

Dell files to trademark 'Podference' – presumably the mutant offspring of COVID-19 and a virtual conference?

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Isn't that the process of ...

replacing Donald Sutherland with an alien double in Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

Apollo astronaut Al Worden – once named most isolated human being of all time – dies aged 88

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perigee not in the gutters

(and with all due respect) still looking at the stars.

It's time to track people's smartphones to ensure they self-isolate during this global pandemic, says WHO boffin

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Re: Big Bad Dom

If you're old enough to remeber that, then you're old enough to be a candidate for his DNR Little List.

Opt-in by default, natch.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Black hole quasar tsunamis moving at 46 million miles per hour

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Re: Oh the deadwood stage is heading on over the hills...

(which just goes to show that in an infinite universe, nothing is really original)

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Oh the deadwood stage is heading on over the hills...


Bad news: Coronavirus is spreading rapidly across the world. Good news: Nitrogen dioxide levels are decreasing and the air on Earth is cleaner

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Re: tHIS IS yUr BreEN on DRhuGS!

Or was it N2O? I've got a little bit of a problem hearing/thinking going on right now, what with all the flanging and shit...

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tHIS IS yUr BreEN on DRhuGS!

Just say NO2 <whatevs>

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Re: Lies!

You have been SUBVERTED by the long-running DIAMOND CONSPIRACY. Your COAL is not SAFE. EVERYONE who depends on heat and moderate amounts of pressure and not too much combustion is IN DANGER. WHEN WILL WE WAKE UP???!?!"?!?!?!?!#

The show Musk go on: Tesla defies Silicon Valley coronavirus lockdown order, keeps Fremont factory open

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Less of the nasty comments here, please

Paedo-guy guy might unleash his twits on you.

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I'm sure that she would be happy to forego the pain of menstrual cramps and the like. Maybe we should set up a support group?

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Re: Let me get this straight

The CDC has NEVER published clean stats on flu deaths

No true Scotsman would EVER wear the tartan of another Highlander!

NHS websites will no longer burn up your mobile data allowance, say Brit telcos

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I hate to say this...

but it goes against the idea of net neutrality. It's also, technically-speaking, illegal in the EU.

Fire away with any of the below objections if you wish:

  • You are a horrible person!
  • Typical EU-tard! Is it any wonder we wanted to leave the EU?
  • This is war! Where is your Blitz Spirit?
  • Telcos finally do something nice and you want to bring in the lawyers?
  • Would you prefer people got their information from Facebook?

Don't forget the sunset clause, and don't forget the power of virtue signalling ("nicewashing").

Reach for the sky: Pixar founders win Turing Award for pioneering 3D animation – and getting rid of jagged edges

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Re: Interesting article, but...

Maybe you can't handle it, but I guess that I can. And that's not being boastful. Any gamer that's evaluating graphics cards and how certain games might play out on the new hardware will be totally au fait with a shit load more details in how it works under the hood than the article provides.

Expert knowledge has a way of becoming mainstream, after all. That's science, bitch!

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Interesting article, but...

It could really do with giving us the names of the methods as well as just trying to provide a layman's explanation.

What are we talking about here? Bilinear/Trilinear Interpolation? NURBS? Something like that?

Go on, give us the maths. We can handle it.

Broken lab equipment led boffins to solve a 58-year-old physics problem by mistake

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Re: agreed

Not "extra-pants." They're the wrong pants, and they've gone wrong!

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Re: You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record baby...

You're not going to eat those gyros after them being in your pocket, are you?

US prez Donald Trump declares America closed to those flying in from Schengen zone over coronavirus woes

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"15k gun deaths last year"

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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Re: Trump should just....?


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Re: Well

Lucky for them to get such a diagnosis in a timely fashion. They probably harboured thoughts that they might be secretly Canadian.


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