Posts by Ste Mansfield

Middle England chokes on Nice Baps

Hardware store

He could always open a harware store called John's Massive Tools

Australian utility evaluates EV charging kit

City of Townsville

Isn't that where the powerpuff girls are from? Surely any EV could be powered by laser vision

Boots punts over-the-counter paternity test

Age of consent

"The test is available to anyone aged 16 or over and requires signed consent and identification documents from father, child and mother – and from the mother on behalf of the child if the latter is under 16."

What if the mother is under 16, who gives consent then? Let's face it, with the Jeremy Kyle world we all live in, that's a very real possiblity

BBC devs Doctor Who movie script

new stuff

I wouldn't care what it is as long as they came up with some new characters/bad guys/assistants. Russell T Davis really needs to get his hands of the show and let someone else write for a change. Plus "their worst threat ever?" - it's going to be the daleks again isn't it?

Screeching rails close London Tube station

London Lube Station

Could they have commendeered Pairs Hilton from her BBF show, got her to straddle the tracks and push her along a bit to get things going

Polish Spitfire shoots down BNP

Ha Ha

Pretty straightforward I think. The BNP should visit the job centre and see how many lazy b**tards stay on the dole rather than get a job. Migrants are only taking jobs that are available coz they don't want to do it. "Three bowls of rice a day" - I'm sure minimum wage is higher than that these days. Ignorance, pure ignorance. In a government where we are not allowed to smoke where we want to, we let these racists run for office. Stupid.

Expedition to probe cavern lake 3km beneath Antarctic ice

Quality of pre-expedition information

I like the fact that the USA have a 4 minute CGI extravaganza just for talking about spacesuits, but when the Brits have a go....here's some nice pictures by Quentin Blake.

Classy

LibDem cheeky boy rides to Segway's rescue

Idiots abound!

Quote from Lembit's address:

They are almost impossible to fall off. When I investigated the accident record, I found that one President George W. Bush did fall off one. Segway experts analysed the photographic footage of his misfortune and concluded that the probable cause of his accident was that he had not turned it on. Gentleman journalist Piers Morgan ridiculed Bush for that, and then fell off one as well.

HA!

California Highway Patrol rounds up queens, workers

shed your load

For a minute I thought this was a horrifying story of how amy winehouse loses her entire wig collection :)

Dutch fire up petrol-pumping robot

can we trust the dutch....

....not to abuse this as another sexually pleasuring device. I'm sure it won't be long before it's true usage will be brought to the foreground.

Rose Tyler beams back into Doctor Who

Beeb really has no imagination

Oh dear, it looks as though the last spark has finally died at the BBC. If using washed up comediennes wasn't enough to ruin a great series, they've finally done it. Can they not come up with some new ideas other than bringing back old characters, aliens and celebrities to boost their viewing figures? No. Clearly not. I think Sample said it best with "I didn't realise that the writers strike had hit the UK."

Florida cops issue shock 'Butthash' warning

A wind up

This apparently is a complete hoax aimed at the drugs enforcement agency. They believed it and now they have shi...er egg on their face. Who'd want to inhale day old shit anyway? You might as well just get a bottle of Buckfast and get shit-faced that way.

Camelot pulls scratchcard amid numerical anarchy

So proud of my home town

I may be getting confused with the confusion. Camelot say you have to find a lower number than say -8. And the woman thinks that -6 is a lower number, even a lower temperature. Is she thick? -10 surely would be the lower number. Surely Camelot should have told her to stuff it.