Posts by JP

Slave kids working UK cannabis farms

I just wonder...

Surely the whole neighbourhood would become quite chilled if the local grow-house went up in flames!

PRC forces also ravaging UK gov nets, insist Brits

Do as you would be done by...

Something tells me that there is probably at least some traffic trying to poke through the Great Firewall from the Isles, and a HUGE amount from the cousins across the pond. If any newspaper leaked that MI6 or CIA were trying to crack into Commie China's intelligence networks, what would be the reaction?

"Super spooks doing their bit for their country! Come join the MI6 and hack evil systems!"

Typical.

Large databases are not safe enough, says stats boffin

Are you doing this on purpose?

Since the comments in a previous article asking for the end of the use of the word "Boffin", I seem to notice it cropping up more and more in titles and tag lines...

What's the rule about flaming and feeding trolls??

BBC cans Planet Relief special

Another pi$$ing contest

"The only reason why this became an issue is that there is a small but vociferous group of climate 'sceptics' lobbying against taking action, so the BBC is behaving like a coward and refusing to take a more consistent stance." screamed a small but vociferous group whose real problem is globalization.

People need to wake up and realise that differences will only be noticeable if huge sacrifices to our modern consumerist way of life are made. Purchasing carbon credits or planting trees will not reduce your carbon footprint, 'cause that's already been made. If you really want a carbon neutral lifestyle, return to the Stone Age!

Plus, once again, events like these (or Earth8) don't actually acheive what they're trying to do. Flying celebrities around for these gigs, plus entourage, plus equipment, plus the fans getting to the venue do nothing more than increase the sales of the "artivists" involved.

(Sorry, slow day, needed to rant!)

Pentagon: Chinese military hacked us

Is this the same level of certainty

as the WMDs in Iraq?

Great track record...

Wii named fastest-selling console in UK history

Wasn't it Reagan

that was the first Prez to quote the deficit to the third (or fourth?!?) derivative?

Greatly paraphrased: The rate at which the deficit is increasing, is decreasing.

This is like that. The rate at which the Wii is outselling the PS3 is decreasing. But it's still substantially outselling the PS3. Total units sold must put the Wii at about 3:1 or more, even in Japan.

eBay hard drive spills out governor's campaign documents

Moral of the Story

Keep your wife away from your tech kit!

Though I don't see how good he could have been at his job, if he got the drive but couldn't recover the data on it, and his wife then sells it on as new...

Viral epidemic strikes Spain's Mediterranean dolphins

Slightly counter-productive

"The Chinese will now dispatch a team to the area to probe the matter, with a view to capturing any wild animals for breeding."

But... The only captive one "popped its fins" ages back... So what is the new capture to reproduce with? And won't the capture and hold reduce the chances of natural reproduction in the wild, when there's only 13 left?!?

D'oh

Genghis Khan didn't much like gays

Similarities...

So, GK and GWB have more than a few similarities:

Both are anti-sodomy.

Both are pro-life (as many babies as possible).

Both are war-mongers.

Both rule with fear.

Reincarnation, maybe?

Gonzo a goner, but NSA surveillance here to stay

Naming sites

Philistine, you're forgetting the administrations naming spin.

Abu Gharib Prison - The George W Bush Memorial Freedom Facility

NSA - Karl Rove Agency for Free Speech

Army - Donald Rumsfeld Global Liberation Force.

etc etc

Channel 4 cans Celebrity Big Brother

@Steven

Please. Stop.

I actually gagged at the thought...

Sorry,havetogotothebathroom...

'Microsoft' to compensate 419 victims

Glad to see El Reg being quoted

Great to see El Reg being quoted as a reliable source of information, rather than those unreliable mainstream media sites.

Do you get any royalties from the successful 419ers? Maybe you should look into that...

Enceladus' icy threat to Cassini

You sure the odds are right?

Those odds aren't exactly astronomical...

Coat please...

Las Vegas crooks go mad for copper

Copper => Fibre

Lawrence makes a good point.

If everyone starts ripping out the copper wires for "scrap", BT have to replace it. If they replace it with copper, rip it up again. If with fibre, wahey!

Also, if enough of this happens, then eventually BT will replace all the copper themselves, so THEY get the scrap value of the copper, not just a write-off...

One way of getting fibre "to the door"!

Girls prefer pink: official

Oh, yeah, and...

"Where's the IT angle??"

Coat please...

Sooooo many problems from the start...

Did they think that maybe the reason for girls to like pink, and boys to like blue, is because it is conditioned into the children from the start? Growing up around pink and blue things will mean that these colours produce a feeling of safety when seen or worn by those people once they grow up.

Women liking to wear pink, or reddish colours, because they were attracted to "ripe" fruits and other items, and this being "evolutionary" makes no sense, as the women are not trying to attract each other, but MEN. Men, being hunters rather than gatherers, wouldn't be too fussed about the pinky colour.

Men being attracted to blue for "clear skies" and "clean water"? Clear, bright skies would make sneaking up on the prey harder, and at what point in the savanah do you ever get blue water? Blue water is blue because it reflects the blue sky, not because it is clean. Healthy water would actually probably be quite dark, surrounded by and containing vegetation.

Just... ARGH! Spout some rubbish and get it published...

Dolly Parton's theme park shells out for more silicon

Added bonus

Money left on the wristband would just be cashed in by the themepark!

Otherwise, I could see a very good money laundry system here...

Mega-planet spotted orbiting fading star

Picture?!?

"The planet is so diffuse, that its gravity only has the most tenuous of grasps on its upper atmosphere: the team at the Lowell Observatory who made the discovery suggests the planet probably has a diaphanous tail of material spiralling towards its parent star."

Why then does the picture show the tail going AWAY from the parent star?

Feds cuff 18 in $126m pharmacy bust

Re: How did they trace it?

Yeah, they probably did just drop a query to SWIFT. SWIFT have been handing over data to the US "to monitor terrorist funding", but also to snag as many people for the IRS while they're at it...

Ah, privicy and independence. It's in the constitution, non?

World Poker Tour goes, er, global

Just hold it in Macao!

The Mecca of Chinese Gambling...

NASA nuke-bot to tackle space boulders of doom

Hang on...

So the asteroid is going to miss us this time around, and the next time around, and so on for the "foreseeable future". But, so as to save a few, well actually, ONE BSkyB satellites, we're going to use nukes to push it slightly off course this time around, and have no idea where it's coming back next time...

Great idea, folks! Glad you have the priorities right. I can just see in 2036, NASA turning around and delcaring "Folks. You know that slight "correction" we made last time? Can we do that, but like, 1,000 times more? It seems like it's coming straight for us this time..."

Or even better, they end up buring off the wrong side of teh asteriod and correct the flightpath INTO Earth... "Oops. That was a +90 degrees, not a -90 degrees..."

I'll hold off having children for a while...

e-Borders to cost £1.2bn

But I thought...

the e-passports got cracked and trashed just a couple of days ago?

Thought this article was up on Reg, but...

http://www.wired.com/politics/security/news/2007/08/epassport

If it can be done with the passports, surely visas too? Then what's the point of all this investment?

Google: Kill all the patent trolls

Industrial espionage

If you can't patent it until you've built it, isn't it possible for someone to get hold of your idea before you've finished, thrown money at it and get it finished before you do, and scr3w you out of the patent? And probably come back and sue you for infringing on its patent too!

At the end of the day, the concept of patents is an honour-bound system, in a world with very little honour.

Facebook security glitch exposes user in-boxes

That explains the market crashes in Asia...

I all makes sense now! Loads of analysts with nothing to do, actually doing some research and realising everything is overpriced!

Boffins trial cheap landmine sniff-tech

What happened to Flower Power?

The funny Cress that turned red when near mines:

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2004/01/62066

I thought l Reg covered this one too...

Reader succumbs to apostrophe apoplexy

Its a disgrace! Reg jounalists' unable to use apostrophe's!

How can you POSSIBLY claim to have the publics' interest at heart when its' blatantly obvious you have no idea about the apostrophes use? Its a shame and disgrace! The only hope for El Reg is that it immediately sends it's entire workforce for grammar training, so this type of insult to humanities senses never happens again! And all those that fail should have to report to the boss'es office to explain themselfs!

COAT! TAXI!

Astronauts chuck fridge off space station

Do you think Ladbrokes would take a bet?

5000:1 seem like pretty good odds.

Crazed NZ fanboy mows down churchgoer

Surprised

They haven't found a copy of Carmageddon on his laptop and blamed this all on computer games yet...

US wants trucks mounted with frikkin' laser beams

Big Homing Target?

Couldn't certain missles be designed with a highly reflective surface, and then use the laser itself to home in onto the truck?

Just a countermeasure thought...

BT feels the need for 50Mb speed

Shock! Horror!

You mean, a privatised public company is ACTUALLY contemplating an upgrade of infrastructure? Without a government grant/backing/subsidy/paying-for-the-whole-dang-thing?

Am I awake?

Next you'll tell me National Rail (or whatever they're called these days) is going to upgrade the track to tilting, non-warping, leaf resistant high speed tracks in the next few years too!

That'll be the day...

Bush to gong top US boffins of 2006

Oh course there won't...

Global Warming doesn't exist! Why commend someone for researching something that isn't real?

You silly thing...

China aims artillery for a blue-sky Olympics

Export the tech!

If the Chinese are doing it for the Olympics, why the heck can't London do it for Wimbledon?!? Or is it just too much of a tradition to have tennis players running in and out for their matches?

Mind you, up-wind would dump all the rain in the north-west again, causing even more troubles for the already flooded...

Iran's 'Rescue Nuke Scientist' game battles US game studio

Awesome new game development technique!

What a great and interesting story the combined game would have! Two completely opposing ideals creating consecutive chapters to the storyline! Games like C&C follow the success of one storyline as you command the victorious side, but this way, you're switching sides each time, trying to undo what you did last mission!

Now, if only we could get the developers to meet without acting out a live recreation of the final chapter...

Your boss could own your Facebook profile

Erm...

There's a German (may be other languages too) Professional Networking site that caters specifically for professional contacts, and is set up to allow transfer with the user during the course of their career. With this ruling, does that mean that this is completely obsolete, as all info entered on that site would actually belong to the employer?!?

This is just insane. The employer should be given access to things like a contact list, so that they may maintain a relationship with a client, but they should be able to commandeer the whole thing!

Speedy evolution saves blue moon butterflies

Of course it will spread quickly!

FFS, the parasites KILL the males without the gene, leaving only the ones that have to gene to reproduce! Does make for rather... busy... male butterflies for a couple of generations, I suppose.

Now, is the sex ratio back up to 40% due to more males, or the general population plummeting?

And doesn't that mean that all the butterflies are now descended from one male butterfly? Kind of like an Abraham of the Blue Moons, to mix religion and evolution...

Whole Foods CEO went after rival as a message board troll

Speaking of which...

What's happened to our dear Paris? I haven't got my hit of Blonde Junk for a while now, and El Reg is normally quite reliable for that...

Is it because they've been bought and she's been told they don't need the free advertising any more?

Student's suspension for IM buddy icon upheld by US court

Hmm...

Students... Free speech... Supression...

Didn't something happen in China in '89 with these criteria?

Communism for the Rich!

Nintendo to let Wii gamers go for their guns

Don't think it will be intuitive

Just looking at the design, I feel that the gun will be counter-intuitive to start with. The dominant hand will have to be place forward to hold the Wii-mote, and the trigger will be at the front of the gun, rather than at the back...

And it just looks really, really uncomfortable/unnatural to use properly. Curious as to how much field testing they had with this...

'Suspicious looking' man hauled off translatlantic flight

The problem of LAX security...

Is anyone can get through...

COAT PLEASE! TAXI!

Chinese unleash Caspian Sea Monster

New roads?

Wouldn't this work on roads too? Have a long road, which shouldn't have anything sticking out of it high enough to damage the "plane", and you'd have a technology for bulk transportation over land at 300km/hr!

Turing test challenges spam filters

Working for the spammers

Now that the technology has been developed to read distorted text, it's only a matter of time before the spammers get their mitts on it, and the "security" of distortion is thrown by the wayside.

The spammers are using techniques that legimate sites use to keep them out to force anti-spammers to develope a solution for the spammers to use.

Genius.

HMRC could seize late taxpayers' cash from bank accounts

Shoot first, ask questions later...

With the amount of errors that are processed every year for tax rebates or follow-ups, do we REALLY want to give the IR the right to rip the cash straight out of the accounts?

Would this apply to over-paid child benefits that the IR is trying to claw back due to their own idiocy and incompetence? I've heard stories of hard-up parents finding that they need to repay £1000+ because they were overpaid in the previous year.

What are the safeguards here?!?

iPhone autopsies conducted

I hope they fixed the battery problem...

Or are they just going to tell customers to buy a new iPhone when the battery dies?

They might as well, it IS based on the iPod, anyway...

Apple limits buyers to two iPhones

So...

An iPhone is going to cost more than a PS3?

Have Apple learnt nothing from Sony?!?

Google search rivals full of sound and fury

Yahoo! return to Google?

Didn't Yahoo! run with a Google search engine for years before trying their hand at their own? Would that be a huge admittance of defeat? And what's the point in handing over the whole thing to Google? Surely that would reduce revenue from 8-cents-per-click to nearly 0-cents-per-click? As Yahoo! would be walking back with their tail between their legs, Google would have them nicely placed over a barrel! (To mix my analogies...)

Icebergs collect mini ecosystems, lock up carbon

So...

As more CO2 is released, more icebergs float off, creating more sealife habitats, drawing more CO2 from the atmosphere, reducing the amount of CO2...

We can keep guzzling fossil fuels then!

Hacker breaks into Pentagon email system

Now we wait and see...

if this guy gets arrested and threatened with life-imprisonment/execution (if non-US citizen) or if he's given a small fine, slapped on the wrist, and hired by a security firm (US citizen).

Takers? Any takers?

Pentagon's raygun-packing 747 to visit DC

All very well...

but surely not very realistic or practical? Scrambling a Jumbo from a friendly airbase during the first couple of minutes of a ICBM launch from continental Asia? It'll take that long to get the 747 airborne! Also, 747s aren't know for their speed or manouverbility. Any sort of air cover would be able to shoot it down!

Load of tosh, and a waste of money.

Investigators find secret White House email accounts

WTF?!?

How... How...? HOW has this been turned around to make the DEMS look bad?!?

Which sick and fantastical world is the first poster living in that this is a story to make the Dems look like the evil ones? Emails relating to AT LEAST 5 ONGOING Republican investigations have been destroyed, which surely comes under comtempt of court if not obstruction of justice. The same names (the very top names) are getting repeated again and again and again (Libby, Rove, Rove, Cheney, Rove, Gonzales, Rove, Gonzales, Cheney, Rove, Rove...).

Stop taking the recreational kool-aid, and get back on your medication.

US PS3 sales hold up as Wii, Xbox 360 numbers dip

PS2 Outselling...

the PS3 2:1. For every sale of a PS2, that's a year at least before the gamer shells out for a new PS3. And that's not showing the PS2s being re-sold in the second-hand market. With the (overblown?) hype about the backwards incompatibility of the PS3, the PS2 is Sony's worst enemy. Most gamers buying the PS2 would be attracted by the low prices of both the console and the now-budget games, bringing in peanuts for Sony.

Sony have a hard decision to make: Cut off the PS2. Stop support, stop production, and focus on the PS3. But they can only do this if they can guarantee 100% backward compatibility, otherwise they will just lose all their gamers.