* Posts by JP

139 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Mar 2007


Biologists track down elusive lungless frog


Heading a little quicker towards extinction...

How on earth does Bickford decide that the frogs are lungless?

Does this involve slicing the poor, endangered beastie open, to spill its guts and secrets for the scientist?

And what reason would someone have to look for a lungless animal?!? "Hmm. That frog looks particularly flat. I wonder if it has lungs?"

Guess I would never have discovered it...

Kent bloke buried under 3,000 congestion charge receipts

Paris Hilton

Crapita strikes again!

Does anyone actually know of a good service they provide?

Paris, because she would have probably been happy to build castles and towers...

Nintendo scores zero on e-waste responsibility


But Nintendo does recycle...

Think of all those Gamecube parts that they're now using in their Wiis!

The one with the Nunchuck and Wiimote, please...

China blocks YouTube

Black Helicopters

@Adam West

Yeah, as if kidnapping people (sometimes your own citizens, but definitely citizens of "friends") and shipping them off to foreign lands (via your complicit friends) to torture and hold for a few years is much better.

It all depends on perspective. And who says democracy is the ultimate good? Seen the US lately? Think that the greed would have grown so out of control under a dictatorship? Now who's paying for the ability to buy power? UK's not too far behind, with bribes and kickbacks to Middle Eastern countries for weapons that they then turn on their own people.

And I really wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't some western influence escalating the current drama in Tibet, helping/baiting the Tibetians to escalate. Where would Tibetians get guns from?

So maybe, rather than telling others to grow up, you might want to look at your own government first, then at what you think you would do with 1.3 billion people.

Helicopters, because if the Chinese don't come after me, the US probably will!

AOL buys a friend for $850m

Paris Hilton

Following on from the Disney article...

So, the best way to get someone to buy AOL is...

... to bloat it up with a has-been social network and lumber it with more debt?


Right, so I'll express my non-interest to buy AOL as well, thankyouverymuch...

Paris, because she goes shopping with borrowed money too...

Google enters underwater cable business

Black Helicopters

Google -> Telco?

C'mon, it makes sense. Google's laying it's own cable, has VOIP, and is bidding for a chunk of the wireless spectrum.

GT&T anyone?

PS3 won't beat Wii until 2011, forecasts analyst


Make a theory, plot graph to show results...

This is just complete BS. Assuming that the drop in user base in 2010-2011 is because the next generation of consoles are coming out:

1. Why does this not affect the PS3? Because is so dang good it's already, actually PS3.5?

2. If the user bases are dipping, THAT MEANS PEOPLE ARE BUYING THE NEW CONSOLES! Which makes the PS3 "dominance" of the obsolete generation moot.

3. Why, when the other consoles have shown a slight dip in year-to-year user-base growth, is the projected PS3 growth linear??

COMPLETE BS. Pengu, because his 360 would never overheat.

Microhoo! or YahSoft!? The! people! must! decide!

Gates Horns


'Cause it sounds like you're yakking up every time you say it...

Internet s&x auction ends in pregnancy, legal feud


What do you tell the child?

"Mummy made some money sleeping with men, and then you came along, and threw the whole business plan out the window...

But never mind. We got monthly cheques now!"

Happy Valentines!

Teen hacker re-unlocks Apple's iPhone

Dead Vulture

It's probably just to keep the image, but...

Wouldn't Apple have made more money by now having a simple lock on the phone (or not-so-simple), that was hackable by the those that really wanted to, AND THEN LEFT IT AND SAVED DEVELOPMENT MONEY on the teams that try to re-lock it, rather than trying to keep up with the hackers??

Brits can't distinguish history from the TV listings

Paris Hilton


Having run so many Sharpe repeats, surely ol' Dick would have ranked quite highly in the real-fictional rankings?

Cracking books, and good films too.

Paris, 'cause Sharpe would have sacked her.

Dell's tightened belt garottes Canada

Thumb Up

At least the word was used correctly!

Well done on the correct usage of "decimate"!

US military prepares for plummeting spy satellite

Black Helicopters

Accidental "hit"

Is this going to "accidentally" take out a Middle Eastern or Chinese embassy somewhere in NA? Testing new payload-delivery methods. (Esp if using a nuclear "power source" as mentioned above!)

Lindsay Lohan packed off to morgue

Dead Vulture

2 days in ER??

She'll be sending people on their way to the morgue then!

Former DEA agents sue over American Gangster

Black Helicopters

Well done...

We may not have known the names of the agents involved in the corruption investigation mentioned, except that they have come out and named themselves.

Can you sue yourself for defamation?

Actually, can you sue your co-defendants? I'd be slightly peeved if I was named in this lawsuit by an ex-colleague.

Amazon defies French courts over shipping costs

Gates Halo

HA! @ Chris C

Sorry, wasn't laughing at you per se, but at the assumption that the French market ebbs and flows to market forces.

Have you seen the amount of subsidies the French pay out in general to maintain unprofitable businesses?? Farmers come to mind...

Having a law that ensures price parity saves them from having to supply another subsidy...

For Gatesian business practices...

Mojo-free Jobs delivers Macworld goods


What about the numbers?

I thought that the iPhone numbers were meant to be the "big announcement" at MacWorld??

Is that tumbleweed blowing across?

Japanese whalers lash protesters to mast


re: Boarding

Wouldn't the old grappling hooks and climbing up the side work? I can't see a whaling ship being particularly nimble or nippy. Pull up alongside, and climb onboard. Once onboard, try to vandalise the board, get beaten up, strapped to the mast while they clear a room to be used as a cell, and then thrown in.

Edit story above depending on which side is telling.

"We pulled up beside the boat, got onboard, and then got assaulted, and tied to the radio mast!"

"They boarded the boat without permission via grapples, and attempted to tear down the radar mast. So we restrained them while we were organising a containment area for them."

Depends on who you listen to.

Actually, just read another news article.



"The two boarded the Yushin Maru No 2 after they made attempts to entangle the screw of the vessel using ropes and throwing bottles of acid on to the decks."

But Watson said as the two boarded Yushin Maru the Japanese attacked them.


So, no provocation other than trying to damage the ship then...

Plague: The new Black Death

Dead Vulture


Really needed to read about blood from all orifices and a general meltdown RIGHT BEFORE LUNCH.

Off to have a paella... Or maybe just a salad.

US buys in to QinetiQ's millimetre wave technology

Paris Hilton

Body temp?

Surely if the "terrorist" has been carrying his knife/bomb under his jacket for a while, it would have reached body temperature anyway and so not be detectable anyway?

Wikipedia black helicopters circle Utah's Traverse Mountain



No hard feelings then?

Late entry for FotW I feel...

Public says no to ID cards, No2ID says 'starve the beast!'

Black Helicopters


Everyone could request time-sensitive documents that require ID cards, prompting a surge in ID requests and crashing the system!

Nokia and O2 get on the tube

Thumb Up


Now there's a reason to flash that sparkly new Nokia every time you squeeze past fellow commuters...

Not like you're going to be able to show it off in the cramped carriages...

China celebrates first lunar pictures


All to disprove a myth...

Now there's no need for the Mid-Autumn festival, as there's obviously no sign of a Rabbit Alchemist or a Princess...


Save the BBC - by setting it free


Why privatise?

The current track record for the government in privatising public services hasn't been best so far; whether it is in the service provided once privatised, the price at which the service was privatised, or the drain on the public purse after it has been privatised.

Additionally, "impartiality" can't be guaranteed whether the service is public or private. Look at classic "Fair and Balanced" FOX News in the US, which shows that private funding supplies a private message. At least we expect a public service to have a slight government bias. At the end of the day, they are holding the purse strings. But at the same time, a public service is also more likely to be loyal to the populace.

What I don't understand is why the BBC can't be made into a for-profit organisation, with profits given back to public services... I know, I know, unfair competition, possible favouritism and monopoly etc etc... But still...

Huge jellyfish pack slaughters 100,000 salmon

Thumb Up

One of my favourites...

As you were asking, James.


"Prepared" normally means dried.


Beer set to hit four quid a pint


What goes into a pint?

"The company has fingered higher aluminium, cereal and crude oil costs as the cause."

How much crude oil does my pint contain?!?

Drink rats' milk, suggests battling Heather Mills


Been watching too many Simpsons episodes...

There was just a re-run of the episode where Homer becomes bodyguard to Mayor Quimby, so they bust the Mafia's rat milk factory...

Doesn't mean they actually exist!

US man dies in Taser incident

Dead Vulture

It seems they need training

All the recent stories of Taser deaths aren't because someone got Taser-ed and died on the spot, but because they got multi-Taser-ed like mad. It's like people getting surprised that a criminal who got shot first in the leg to immobilize him then dies as the copper sees him squirming and shoots him further and further up the body multiple times...

Rosetta spies nightlife on our sleeping planet

Black Helicopters


You can sort of figure out and identify the various light spots around the region (Italy, Nile delta, Israel, Indian subcontinent, Hong Kong/Shenzhen, Taiwan, Shanghai, Korea + Japan) but what the heck is all that light from the North Pole?!? It can't be sunlight, as we can see a sliver of the South Pole, so therefore what we can see of the NP must be in darkness...

Are there some sort of military installations, or even alien installations!, in the NP that we don't know about? 'Cause I thought that the Northern Lights were quiet dim...

Windows random number generator is so not random


Re: Key Management

That's all we need!

64 tiny coins in every computer!

Firm pledges first 400Mb/s powerline product early '08


Why no power??

Why do powerline designers seem to ignore the fact that it might be useful to keep the power socket available for use for powering - oh, I don't know - THE COMPUTER when designing the products??

Microsoft sells Windows twice

Gates Horns

Hardware sellers must be loving this...

Not only have they taken a hit from people avoiding Vista like the plague and going for (older?) systems that still sell XP, but now M$ is selling XP AGAIN (AFTER trying to take it off the shelves!) so users can buy old computers and extend hardware life, and avoid buy pesky new shiny machines...

Isn't it great when you have an effective monopoly?

BitTorrent site Demonoid.com downed by Canadian record industry


Alright for Bryan Adams, but what about Celine Dion??

And anyway, if they want to stop piracy, they should probably go after those $4/disc stalls in certain shopping malls rather than online piracy. I know one stall, run by 3 people, who have 5 new Mercs between them! And it's not like a small shop, it's a prime, right-by-the-entrance 30m2 operation!

Six-month hangover for 60-pint Scotsman

Paris Hilton


Having taken a month before turning up to see the doc, and being prescribed the 6 month treatment, it was a 7 month hangover?

16,000 namesakes cry foul over US terror watch list


And they wonder why...

As if the American airlines aren't having enough trouble trying to turn a profit, their own government is stopping half the their passengers from getting on board!

It's also the reason why I try to avoid flying to/via the US. (I already avoid US carriers 'cause their service is just absolute crap...)

Writers' strike hits US talk shows hard

Black Helicopters

Well done Ross...

I think you just got yourself added to the "No-Fly" list...

And all your namesakes to boot!

Video-sharing pact leaves Google out in the cold


Don't worry Bobbles31

Seeing as you managed to spell the name of the ripped show wrong (single L, double D), Disney might have a hard time searching for your self-declared infringement!

George Lucas announces Star Wars TV spin-off


It can be like the cut-scenes from Austin Powers!

They could do an episode on each of the sub-characters that die in the films! Give them a back-story, and to end every episode, show how they come to a sticky end in the films, so you can really relate...

Microsoft patents brain-computer link


The ultimate security!

Who needs passwords and fingerprint readers when you can just have a brain-scan instead!

And we need an icon for the "Rise of the Machines" below. "You are thinking about throwing away my obsolete processor. Would you like one or two thousand volts between the ears?

US demands air passengers ask its permission to fly



Things must be getting really tough in the US. I saw an ad for NEW YORK CITY on telly last night. If The Big Apple has to advertise for tourist bucks, the restrictions must be hitting them hard enough as it is. This won't make it any easier or make people more comfortable travelling to the US.

Beeb news website goes titsup

Dead Vulture


The BBC News front page isn't loading, but navigating through the Top 5 emailed or most read is still working...

Does that mean they're going to stay there all day?

Beijing's Olympian censorship machine laid bare


Got to suck if your birthday...

is on June 4 1989. Any page with your info on it would be banned/censored!

Qinetiq touts 'Transformer-like' mobility-scooter killbot

Dead Vulture

Was that a lucid comment...

from amanfromMars??


'It's Britney, bitch' riding high again



Where's the Paris Hilton angle??

Call me a taxi, I've got my coat...

US men wrangle over three-year-old amputated leg


@Jim: Dollar to Pound

Well, judging by the prices of software and hardware, I think that's a pretty realistic exchange rate!

Closer than the supposed rates we're getting at the bank, anyway...

Terror police lock down Soho to smoke out 9lbs of chillis


Just in case you want to home-brew a terror alert...

The BBC has very kindly handed out the recipe for it too!


Aw... Ain't that sweet...

So, what's the first rule of Reg Club?


The First Rule of Reg Club:

Do not take life so bloody seriously!

Microsoft: New Live Search 'as good as Google'


Does the stats include typing errors?

Considering that IE defaults a URL that's mis-typed/incomplete as a MS search query, do the stats actually include those sorts of searches?

If so, the real numbers might be much lower than 37% of all search users...

Jack Thompson sets about Halo 3


A couple of questions:

1: Was that the first Best Buy that Thompson sent his son into to by the game, or did he have to go to a few before his son didn't get ID'ed and was sold the game?

2: Did he let his son keep the copy of Halo 3?