Posts by Fatty Treats

New Doctor Who episode leaks online as proper trailer debuts

Great publicity though isn't it?

Just sayin'

Clingy fondleslab owners TORPEDO industry forecasts

Re: agreed

Which one are you running, is it stable?

Mine was tidied into a drawer by her indoors and was forgotten for a while but recently I found it again and have been making use of it. It's stock (ICS) and crawls sometimes (I think when syncing) so am looking to bung kitkat on it.

Moto G: Google's KitKat bruiser could knock out, bury Landfill Android

'I grew weary of email widgets that never update, of having to reconnect to my Wi-Fi at random, and of having to close down apps.'

To counter Andrew's anecdote with an anecdote, I've owned androids at both ends of the spectrum (Wildfire and Nexus 4) and experience none of these issues, nor has her indoors; what android/widgets was he using? If he had it set to update infrequently then what does he expect?

'Supporting loss leaders today means you'll pay higher prices tomorrow.'

So we should pay through the nose for Samsung et al's top end offerings or risk paying through the nose tomorrow? Smartphones are already commoditising so I'll take my chances.

UK hot-swaps leaders - Brown out, Cameron in

Sum of parts

Our correspondent was talking about the real cabinet, no-one cares about Scotland's toy one.

Trouser-bomb clown attacks - how much should we laugh?

Sniffer dogs

I believe you can't (easily) confuse/trick a sniffer dog as their sense of smell is highly developed, but surely you can mask it entirely with a strong odour (chilli, peppers?) in same the way that despite our superior vision we can't read the number plate of an oncoming car if its headlights are on.

Wait and see, next we'll be banned from wearing aftershave/perfume/deodorant when flying.

Apple to 'vigorously' fight Nokia patent pout

"tell me how many ppl keep their pc's for more than 3 years in active service?"

Non windows users? It's the OS, not the hardware.

I love that the definitive assessment of one's gadgets is now what "the washing machine delivery man" nicks.

Brown says the 'C' word

Not that word

Thank God! For a moment there, I thought he said 'Cambridge'!

Jammie Thomas calls for file-sharing trial #3

If she got off this time...

She'd be a Jammie [fine] dodger!

Ten of the best... iPhone beaters

It's been asked, however

Where's the Touch Pro 2?

Google finally soups up Gmail search

GMail multiple inboxes

Tried this out in mine, it looks like I imagine it would look if one performed an abortion on one's inbox - it's an horrific mess. It's possibly upset because I have enabled the labels on right feature and it's pretty buggy.

I hoped this announcement heralded the introduction of something approaching proper search into GMail (wild cards anyony?), but for the moment the kings of search continue to serve up piss poor search in their webmail.

Flirty texting could land Scots in jail for 10 years

At least...

There'll be no more shampoo ads!

Brown pledges annual commons debate on surveillance

Many people now have laptops activated by finger-scans

Manufacturers are making laptops with fingerprint scanners - how many people would go to the effort and expense of requesting a scanner if it were not built onto the machine?

What a tosser - he thinks we're all stupid, unfortunately in the majority of cases he is correct.

Top Tory resigns on principle over 42 days bill

@AC untitled

"BUT how would you feel if..."

Come on man, if the police can't dig up *anything* to charge one with in 28 solid days of looking, there's probably nothing to find. If somehow nothign were found, but it really were *that* critical to hold them for longer, an emergency act of parliament could be passed to detain the individuals. Hell, if they're that dangerous, hold them illegally and sort it out later. Hold back a tiny percentage of the NHS/welfare state wastage, sorry budget, for compensating wrongly detained non-terrorists.

The usual argument for holding people for >28days is that it can take a long time to get data off encrpyted drives &c. Well, witholding encryption keys is an offence now so that doesn't wash anymore. As soon as you find an encrypted drive if they won't give up the keys you have them.

Independent dubs El Reg lesbian

Speechless Sarah Bee

She just can't believe she's been rumbled.

She's the first of a wave of Lesbian Battle Clones deployed undercover to slip inside El Reg.

Motorola unplugs Cambridge TTPCom unit

I must protest

I find the bandying around of this word intensely distasteful.

Are you not all aware that the C-word is the most offensive in the England language, and it offends ladies deeply?

Disgusting.

Gates teases bankers with Windows 7 dates

Yeah...

... cos rushing their last OS to market before it was ready worked like a charm!

Wikipedia-reading boffins jimmy keyless door to entire universe

Ramifications

Several correspondents argue that this is not that useful or easily used security hole, e.g. Mike points out this is "an attack that lets you sit around some types of vehicle, wait for someone to open their car, then do some analysis of the data, and then next time they leave their car there you can come back and get in". Doesn't the article say that once you crack it you can do it for any *model*?

So you while away a few hours in a Tesco car park after which you can open *any* Ford Focus/Honda Accord/generic Toyota... sounds alright to me.

Naomi Campbell cuffed in Heathrow Terminal 5

@Daniel Wilkie

s/charged with/convicted of the/

At least until Gordon gets round to changing it.

Ohio man cuffed for shagging picnic table

sex

FFS, you can't have sex, i.e. procreate with an inanimate object. This chap, the bicycle banger, the hoover humper and all the rest of them were using their 'partner' as masturbatory aids.

Ex-MS staffer to demo Vista smart card hack

@Billy Goat

Care to share what this unnamed ahead-of-its-time used by a multitude of unnamed infamous companies is?

Microsoft architecture chief 'clarifies' online formula

@Morely Dotes

"they've never had a product I could live without"

I don't think that's what you meant old boy :p

Paper clip attack skewers Chip and PIN

Boffins

Thought the word "boffin" was banned on El Reg?

Paris, as she loves a good boffin.

Egg scrambles to fix network outage

Credit Ratings

It can't be libel as they are not naming the people concerned thefore how are they defaming the complainants?

Its a fact that if you use credit facilities properly, you have a better credit rating than if you do not use them at all. Lenders want to see a credit history because someone who has taken credit out and proven they can stay on top of it is a safer bet than someone who they know nothing about. Such a person may prove to be super awesome, but also could be useless.

I could therefore understand how people who use their cards lightly could see their rating deteriorate.

Who's to say the great unwashed are telling the truth anyway? I know that if *I* were to have *my* card cancelled because of a deteriorating credit rating that I wouldn't go telling everyone about it. I'd probably claim it wasn't my fault and that they shouldn't have done it.

Facebook sues Canadian smut firm over hacking

Names

"The suit also names Ming Wu and six as yet unnamed defendants."

Dunt name em then duzzit?

Google petrol pumps debut next month

Ozone

Get with the programme kids, the rage now is CLIMATE CHANGE, we don't care about the ozone layer any more.

Your cars don't deplete the ozone layer, that was CFCs. They are no longer a problem at all (i.e. we've forgotten about them). Your cars give out greenhouse gases, alledgedly leading to global warming or as it's called now CLIMATE CHANGE (see above).

Of course, it's possible given that we are coming out of a geological period known as "the little ice age" (it's not all that long age the Thames was freezing over in winter to such an extent that an annual fair was held on it) that temperatures may be due to rise *anyway*, and the idea that anything we do significantly affects this world is sheer arrogance on our part.

iPhone to solve UK unemployment

Why the Apple phone will fail, and fail badly

<quote>

"...Is there anything it can't do?..."

Yes Bill there is one more thing the iPhone can do...

It is a reminder tool of how foolish your analysis can be.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/12/23/iphone_will_fail/

</quote>

I believe the tagline for this story was what's known as SARCASM you fecking eegit. Do you really think it's possible for the ‘iPhone to solve UK unemployment’ as per the headline? I would suggest not, unless (not flash) Gordon thinks of adding being on all fours with Jobs in your mouth and your iPhone up your arse as a form of employment.

This comment is a reminder of how foolish a tool you are.

F. Treats