Posts by Andy ORourke

Google tells the world how to talk

Would it work in......

Clingon or Elmer fudd?

Apple rescinds version change App Store ban

@ Andy Worth

"I can see arguments for and against "censoring" apps. Yes, it does restrict, or allow Apple to restrict what can be put onto the phone for their own gains if they wish, but then it's their phone so it's up to them."

NO, its MY phone so i should be able to choose what goes on it. If I want to pay $999 for a collection of pixels that look a bit like a ruby then it is my RIGHT to be parted from my hard earned cash!

OK so Apple reviewing apps to make sure there are no hidden nasty's, great. For them to censor stuff because "they" dont like it is a little too much isn't it?

Mines the one with the unlocked, jailbroken one in the pocket

Main BBC channels to be broadcast live via web

@John Imrie

You answered your own question, read the information again

What is a TV Licence needed for?

To use any TV equipment such as a TV set, digital box, video or DVD recorder, COMPUTER or mobile phone to watch or record TV programmes as they are being shown on television.

From that quote it would appear that a computer with or without a TV card DOES need a licence. So it would appear that if you use ANY computer (laptop / desktop / PDA) to watch a live broadcast on the web from the BBC that you DO need a licence

Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar

Makes me feel hard done by

I got a AU$695 fine for speeding (40 in a 20 zone, which is what the speed limit is when there is a school bus with lights flashing!) last time I visited relatives in OZ

BT silences customers over Phorm

Technical support?

"Our broadband support forums are designed to be a place where customers can discuss technical support issues and offer solutions. "

Surely the discussion of how to prevent the tapping of your communications is a legitimate tech support issue and I can offer a solution.................

Phuck off BT

Mobe number middleman turns old sims into gold

Oh Dear

Mine comes up with the words below and shows that for all the M$ haters out there that xBox beats BMW any day of the week!

*XBOX**

*AMY**

*COX**

*BOY**

*BMW**

**BOX**

*BOYO*

*BOZO*

*WANY*

*ZANY**

* to denote numbers that didnt get turned int letters to at least try and put of casual mobile stalkers

Apple bans iPhone app for changing version number

@Dave

Too right, I just got "Unlimited ** " texts on my new orange contract

** Subject to a fair usage policy of a maximum of 3000 texts per month.

Now I dont send anywhere near that amount of texts and I didnt even buy into the contract on the basis of unlimited texting but is it right that operators can sell an "unlimited" package which, is quite clearly, limited? I dont know but trading standards and OFCOM are going to come back to me shortly............

PlusNet customer invited to opt-in to BT's Phorm trial

First one I've Heard of

being "invited" to take part in the trial. Don't know of anyone else do you? did you get an invite?

Ofcom slaps down Phones4U

Just had dealings

with Dial-A-Phone, the online arm of this shower of shite. The wife went for the Samsung TOCCO on Orange with the offer:

"99p Line rental for the 1st six months *"

See that “ * “ up above, that’s important that is, I looked at the bottom of the page and saw the words "By Redemption" OK, it is entirely my own fault, I really should have clicked the link and read the terms carefully but, instead, I "assumed" it meant I would get a code or voucher or something and Orange would then only charge me 99p line rental for the first 6 months right? NOOOOOO

Basically after 6 months you send Dial-A-Phone your 1st orange bill showing your line rental and they will issue a cheque for 30 odd quid, then after another 3 months you do the same, then every 3 months throughout the 18 month contract you can claim a bit of cash back.

All of the above pissing about means that, technically, over the length of your contract you will have received some money back which, when put into context means that 6 months of your line rental would have worked out to 99p. Oh, don’t forget that to qualify your bill has to reach them within a specified window and if you miss one of these windows then you can kiss goodbye to all subsequent cash back claims!

If had checked out the T&C's properly (I know, my fault entirely, I admit it) I wouldn’t have gone for this deal, I'd have chosen the free XBox or PS3

As for Dial-a-Phone, they can rest assured that I will not be doing business with them again since the phone number they supplied me with bore no resemblance to the actual phone number I ended up with and the online customer service is absolutely crap. It is guarded by a AI system called Rachel which actually makes amanfromMars look like a Nobel prize winner for literature!

Gadget Show competition spews text spam

Easy way to get your money back

Simply send a text with the words please give me my money back to (insert premium rate text number here)

MP calls for Jezza Clarkson's head

@ Les Matthew

You sir owe me a keyboard & Monitor!

"Calls for his head

Why would anyone want ten pounds of ugly fat?"

I would like to know

How many of the 500 complaints arrived during the screening of the show, I mean your average viewer (I count myself among these) would almost expect this kind of “outrage" at least twice during the average episode of Top Gear (In fact it wouldn’t be Top Gear without these kind of crude, insensitive comments!)

Now, thanks to the iPlayer, so many people can watch again to make sure just how outrageous the comments were so they can fuel their indignation prior to writing that letter to the BBC to demand the resignation of the presenter.

Do I recall or did several thousand people sign the petition to get Jezza to be Prime minister? If Clarkson goes over 500 complaints then surely this prime minister has had more than that many complaints so he should also step down?

Maybe if Labour MP Chris Mole has had more than 500 dissatisfied constituents he should consider resigning as well?

Yes! It's the Darth Vader breakfast toaster

If only......

they had made one with an image of jesus on I could have made a fortune flogging the bread based holy relics on eBay in Merica!

Doormen's database boss goes

You know what we need?

A national Database to make sure that everyone is fully checked and can prove their identity, that way this kind of error could be eradicated.

The secret sauce in SanDisk's ExtremeFFS

A new Superlative.......

For when you are perplexed by a story?

For Exapmle : ExtremeFFS, what do they think they are doing!

Rocketing iPhone sales drive Apple into phone vendor top ten

@ Marketing over content

Like you, the iPhone is the 1st apple product I have used and I love it, OK I'm not going to throw out my PC and become a fanboi and yes, iTunes is DIRE and the fact it is locked down (unless you jailbreak it of course) is a bit of a shame but other than that it is a very good product.

As David Kelly said, its not bad for a first go and it can only keep getting better. No other manufacturer I have seen even comes close to this (apart from that new Blackberry, that looks really nice!)

Oz pub dishes up really crap ice cream

@ Jim Coleman

Just been to my son's student digs and noticed they had saved money on shopping by visiting Lidl, they had some imitation nutella called.......... Nut Nougat!

One billion unwanted opinions in real-time: Now SHOUTED at you

The sooner the better

Just think if this was the only way to communicate on the web then next time you are having that "chat" with busty Samantha, the 18 year old hottie you met in second life, you would really know that she wasnt actualy John, the 48 year old, beer swilling moron pretending to be Samantha

Vista SP2 beta could land within next four weeks

Vista problems?

I bought Vista (I know, who would actually pay for this DRM laden, bloated piece of crap) and I had no problems with it, installed fine, updated fine, SP1, fine. The HATED DRM which everyone always goes on about has never had any effect on my PC (which isn't a Cray by any means, still a 32 bit single core processor for Gods sake)

OK, it isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially here on El Reg (where "real" operating systems come on punch cards) because most of the readers don’t like Microsoft and that’s fine. To say that every user of Vista is suffering, or that it is impossible to set up a small (50 user) network without any major issues is generalising to say the least.

The worst thing for me was the changes they made, seemingly because they could, to the familiar menu systems. OK it took me as long to learn the new ones as it took me to learn the (superficial operating) differences between Windows and Ubuntu so no big deal really. I just don’t understand why they made the changes, especially to office! A bit like a car manufacturer moving the pedals around “just because”

UK puts £55m into disabled parking reform

@ Throatwobbler Mangrove

In answer to your question:

"how the sweet christing jesus can it possibly be so expensive???"

Take these words and rearrange them: database government local to come up with the answer.

In fact £50 Million sounds like they are doing it on the cheap. Dont worry though, after some consultation, the realisation that they could get more personal details by adding the data of those people who do, or even might drive the badge holder around the price will steadily creep up. In fact add the data of the badge holders children too, that way when they reach driving age the details will already be stored.......

MoD loses most of the armed forces

Oh Dear

Lets get it over with, just get the government to set up a web site with a searchable index of the complete personal details of every single person in the whole UK (Except politicians of course) so that no government department or contractor ever needs to fear a data loss again.

With a little luck they could impliment it in under ten years at a cost of around 500 billion

Brussels bounces BT-Phorm quiz back to UK.gov

Government response

They won't want to respond, if they can get someone else to provide the technology and infrastructure required to monitor the poulation then why wouldn't they want Phorm to go ahead?

Facebook and Microsoft complete Live Search crowbarring trick

@want me to use live search

I just checked out the cashback site http://search.live.com/cashback and see what you mean about relevant, now this is my works PC so I dont do anything remoteley NSFW but based on my first visit to the site above I was offered bargains on the following:

Wii (OK, why not)

32" LCD TV (Sure, it goes with the Wii)

Mens "North Face" Jacket (OK, its winter, the coat looks nice and warm)

Womens Medium Adult Sexy Dorothy Costume (No good to me, I'd be an Extra large at least!)

Birmingham Airport in X-rated X-ray shocker

Oh come on.......

A worker actually said that “It’s a bit of a cock-up."

Please......

Artist to smoke Cobain's ashes

Do I remember.......

Didnt Keith Richards smoke the ashes of his dad or snort them or something?

Fossett aircraft contains 'minimal' human remains

@Anybody remember John Stonehouse?

Never mind too many episodes of CSI, dont you mean a copycat from the Simpsons when Crusty faked his own death!

"Maybe I've seen too many episodes of CSI but none of this adds up. I think he parachuted out leaving the plane on a glidepath into the mountain, then planted the "evidence" to lead searchers to the site."

The above description almost exactly describes the episode in question

I hope the family do get some closure from this and I don't wish to make fun of oter people's misfortunes and it isn't nice to speculate but it does seem very 'Convenient' doesn't it?

BT's Phorm small print: It's all your fault

@ is there a way

Jason,

Even if you opt out, even if BT impliment a network level opt out for this system some websites will be serving adverts from OIX, this is the advert serving side of things for Phorm so yes, you could see adverts from them, they just wont be "targeted" at you if you have not been "profiled" by Phorm

Firefox, noscript, adblock etc, etc

@Copyright content

Look, I dont like Phorm but at least get your facts right, if your web site displays adverts from OIX then a visitor to your site who has been profiled will get mor "Relevant" adverts, if you get your adverts from any other advertiser not associated with OIX then your adverts remain the same, phorm / OIX DO NOT alter content unless you subscribe to OIX

I am (stil) with BT and have not been invited into the trial but my web browsing is suffering, it is very jerky all of a sudden, coincidence?

I got a warning from the BT suppled Norton antivirus that it had detected an attempt to change my home page, I wonder if this is down to WebWise / BT trials?

Dephormation used to have a page which detected coockies from Phorm but it doesnt seem to work any longer, anyone have a way to detect a phorm coockie on your system?

BT's third Phorm trial starts tomorrow

Ironic or coincidence

I use BT and logged on this morning to make sure I wasnt part of the trial, I opened the browser (I.E) and got a Symantec security response page telling me it had removed an adware threat which attempts to change my start page. The name of the threat - adware.mop, a quick google on this shows a result from viruspool.net:

ADSPY/Agent.BT.2

Aliases:Adware.Agent.PF SOFTWIN BitDefender BDSCAN 1.01 15-Feb-2008

W32/Adware.MOP Frisk Software FPCMD 4.4.3 14-Feb-2008

Detected by: Avira AntiVir/Win32-Console Version 7.4.0.15 15-Feb-2008

Irony 1, the name of the Agent

Irony 2, the Norton anti-virus I use is supplied by BT!

So, not sure if I am part of the trial because I had to re-boot to let Norton work it's magic and I had to leave for work. I will try this again tonight and see if I am in the clear

ISP - New definition

ISP - Internet Subscriber Profiler?

@ amanfromMars - Glad to see you back to your old self

@MarkH - I'll bite. If I use Google it is my choice to do so given that I know what they do with my data (like I choose which "loyalty" cards to use) if BT is my ISP then I get NO choice in the matter, if I opt out using the current system all my traffic still gets deep packet inspection, they just dont act on the information (honest Guv)

@Catching the bastards at it

I think dephormation.org had some kind of script you could use to detect phorm infected visitors.

@ amanfromMars. As much as I never usually understand you, let alone agree with you I sadly have to admit you may be right:

"Move On, Bobby, it is Far too Late for that to be Either a Viable or an Available Option."

I fear that whatever happens, BT (and the others) have gone too far down the Phorm road to back out now.

Phorm mulls incentives for ad targeting wiretaps

Opt In

Now all they have to do is guarantee that the traffic of people who don't opt in is connected directly to the internet and not anywhere near the profiler and everyone will be happy........

'Idiot' pulls cables, downs ISPs at Telecity

@ BOFH (Jamie)

"Who would have thought any IT personnel could be so stupid."

You have never been to a Telehouse / Telecity site have you..........

Sky drops download limit and tops satisfaction poll

How long....

Until they get enough users signed up and then realise they can't really support so many "Unlimited" sessions?

I personally don’t believe anything web related (disk space, bandwidth, uploads / downloads etc) should be sold as unlimited. There is always a finite limit to what can be provided.

Sainsbury's punts 'Innocent kids juices' for £2.99

@ Jay Cooper

I believe Mike Groombridge used the wrong Icon, I think he wanted the "Joke Alert" icon and given the poor quality of the new icons he got confused.

That's right isn't it Mike, I mean your comments on literacy and grammar peppered with so many mistakes was a joke, right?

UK launches major road signage review

@ Very Simple

"Very simple - stop the overhead matrix signs saying 'NN minutes to Junction X'. This information is meaningless because X could be 1 or 15 miles away."

You didn’t read the sign properly, they normally tell you the distance to X as well (in Parenthesis) I always think "oh, its going to take me 15 minutes, bet I can do it in 12"

I do feel the same way about the messages these signs normally deliver "fog" or "snow". No shit Sherlock, "delays Possible" I'm on the M6 trying to get on the M62 to Manchester at 08:00, again, No shit. Unless they have something like - "To avoid the inevitable delays please follow this sign" then there really isn’t much point telling me there is a queue of traffic, I have been sat here for 20 minutes, I think I have figured out there is a queue all by myself thanks very much.

As for the M6 (and probably many other) "Sign not in use” sign why not just cover the thing up? It must be cheaper than making and erecting a new sign?

What happens when the original sign that was not in use comes into use? Do they put a sign on the "Sign not in use" sign to say that that sign is not in use or do they change the sign not in use sign to a sign in use sign?

Apple's MobileMe plays into hands of spammers

It does seem a little naive doesnt it?

I know that Mac users generally feel that SPAM, Trojans and Virii happen to other people and, I'm sure, the OS is probably a lot more secure than windows (although I don’t know this for sure) but to (effectively) publish the email address of every user of this service is taking complacency a little too far?

Lag log leaks - Home Office contractor loses entire prison population

"a secure format"

That'll be a passworded Excel file then :-)

eBay changes anger smaller sellers

@ Chris

"If like me you were wondering what the alternatives are, I would just like to mention tazbar.com"

They came so close, they could have registered tatbazzar.com

Seriously, I did used to seel some stuff on ebay but it just costs too much now. I generally put stuff on Amazon, their fees are quite high but at least you dont have to pay PayPal's fees as well

Watchdog hits 070 swindlers with big fine

Sneaking sort of admiration

I Know, I know it’s totally wrong and criminal but come on, what a great way to make some money, the only people who lost out were the hard of thinking!

Reminds me of the VIZ money making tip:

1. Set up a premium rate phone number

2. Get a sticker printed with "Well Driven?" and the number from step 1 printed on it

3. Put the sticker on your car

4. Drive round town like a complete Twat

Mashed up Met Police crime maps go online

So what is meant by vehicle crime?

Is it TWOCing, causing death by dangerous driving, drink driving etc or is it speed, sorry safety camera offences?

If you appear to be living in a high crime area and don't think you are then take a look around, how many safety cameras are in your area?

Google: 'Even in the desert, privacy does not exist'

@Dr Patrick J R Harkin

"Anyone remember the episode of Top Gear where Jeremy Clarkson was showing a car so small he was able to take it INTO the BBC building and attend a meeting whilst inside it"

Quick, Patent this idea or copyright it or something. Officeview, the next level of mapping from Google, shortly to be followed by Colonview so that you can zoom from space to your place of work to your desk and dissapear up your own arse!

Microsoft claims heart beats in open source

@ the other steve & John Ohare

I do run Ubuntu and it works well on my fairly old Tosh laptop. I had a couple of issues straight after install which were quite easy to resolve but the standard desktop that came with it didn’t look or feel enough like Windows to make me fall into using it easily (OK it doesn’t take a genius to work it out, just play around a little)

My point was simply that if Microsoft could produce something "like" Ubuntu but looking and feeling EXACTLY the same as Windows (XP or Vista, take your choice) then it would be much easier to get people to migrate.

Even Ubuntu, with it's ease of installation / use still sometimes needs users to drop into a shell, perform some obscure editing of strange files in a file system structure that isn’t familiar to "most" people (those without beards, white socks and sandals)

Remember. Most windows users are LAZY they continue to use windows because they know how to use it. If Microsoft could come up with a Linux distro that looked, felt and installed as though it were windows then people wouldn’t even notice.

What I'd like

Is a linux distro with a windows interface (I know, Linspire or Lindows or whatever)

If Microsoft could be trusted not to screw around with the OS and just concentrate on producing a desktop that looks and behaves like XP (or even Vista which runs a treat on my home PC with some nice looking features) then they would be on to a winner IMHO

Microsoft predicts 'some' ROI for online millions by 2010

A meaningless statistic?

"Microsoft claimed more than 180m Windows Vista licenses have now been sold, up 40m from the last official figure."

OK so they managed to "sell" 40m "licences" I am willing to bet that the majority of those "sales" were via equipment manufacturers and that a lot of the kit the licence was "sold" for are actually not running Vista.

Now i actually use Vista out of choice, I paid for the thing for gods sake. I (personally) find it to be faster and more stable than my old XP install. Then again I dont do any wierd or out of the ordinary stuff on my PC so I have never had any issues with all the DRM stuff that most people complain about

Congress accuses American Phorm of 'beating consumers'

Opt In

Of course if these companies use opt out and rely on users reading lengthy T&C's to discover what they want to do with users data they are onto a winner. How many average users read T&C's, I dont most of the time, like most user's I'm lazy and I figure that most of the T&C's consist of phrases like "you dont have any rights" "we dont promise to deliver what we say at any time" there are no guarantees" and the always laughable "this does not affect your consumer rights"

I would prporse the following message to users prior to opting in to these systems:

"We are about to monitor every single web site you ever visit (except secure sites, honest)"

Good luck with getting people to click the "OK" button!

Ofcom chairman will quit next Easter

I wonder......

if he'll turn up on the board of Phorm or even BT?

Stunned commuter finds more secret papers on train

I'm all for "Open Government"........

But does anyone else get the feeling this is taking it a little too far?

Vodafone sees American horizons

Do you mean.......

Hundreds of jobs will be lost if the merger goes ahead?

"Verizon and Alltel networks do overlap in coverage, and service centres, so they could be synergised out to a cost saving of about a $1bn a year."

I think thats what the paragraph above means but the management speak bollocks sounds much more dynamic and forward thinking

Ofcom asks ISPs nicely to stop mis-selling broadband on speed

Probably not the first.......

but they should really be clamping down on this "unlimited" bollocks. I had to smile the other night, saw an advert on TV for an ISP (Can't remember which) which offered "Superfast, Unlimited" broadband and then had a banner at the bottom saying "subject to fair useage policy"

Whats the point in advertising something as unlimited when there are clearly limits on it? Do any other advertisers get away with such blatantly false advertising?