Posts by JP Strauss

BOFH: Drunken Time Lord

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Wut?

Spielberg flung Fox from Transformers 3

RE: any Michael Bay film in fact

LOTR was anything but dumb.

Terrorists stamp on Indy's Kate Middleton jelly bean

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I know you think you're clever, but using the pound sign (#) at the end of a URL simply means that you are pointing to a named anchor within the HTML page at the particular URL. It is an entirely different example to changing the actual URL.

Polyglot 419 scammers target German and Welsh speakers

Just this week

I got two mails, one traditional 419 email from a mr. Alien Smith and one claiming I had won a scholarship to the International Space University. Coincidence...?

Jackson's Hobbit movies back on track

RE: 80%

The movies were 2.5 hours long already. I think Jackson did the best book adaptation ever. Except maybe for Narnia.

Why not The Silmarillion

The Hobbit sounds like a reasonable idea to me. But The Silmarillion has so much more potential for epic battles and gorgeous scenery, which was what made the films successful in any case. The Hobbit is more a children's story and the only way I'd go see it is if they gave Tom Bombadil a lot of screen time. <NerdRant>

Mexico demands apology for Top Gear outrage

Gee

Look, if it was your country's prime minister making those statements, it's one thing, but if you are insulted by a group of guys who are PAID to be rude and off-colour, then you should probably just recognise it for what it is.

Massive online database of bird calls unveiled

RE: Lyre Bird

Also read up on the New Zealand Kea. Smartest bird I've ever seen.

Primary school miss flashes porn vid at kiddies

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Why would the teacher need to use her own VCR? Doesn't the school have the necessary equipment?

Some more irony, maybe

What I find slightly amusing is that Betamax got canned in favour of the lower quality VHS because the porn industry endorsed Betamax.

North Korean PDA hits shelves

Patnet lawyers?

I'd pay big money to watch patent lawyers try to persaude North Korea to allow their heads and bodies to catch the same flight home.

Apple in Brazilian iPad shocker

Why pick a fight with the South Koreans?

...When it would have been much more entertaining for everyone if they picked a fight with their Northern neighbours.

Segway + motorbike = futuristic dorkmobile

LOLWUT

You sir, are an ignoramus!

Also, I would LOVE to see what your definition of "significant percentage" is.

Paris Hilton crowned 'Worst Actress of the Decade'

here's your stupid title

probably because those "scenes of humour" were supposed to be serious.

Aussie man convicted for Simpsons smut

Quick question

If The Simpsons has been running for around 20 years, and Bart was 10 years old and Lisa 11 at the start of series 1, wouldn't that make them both consenting adults by now, seeing as they are roughly 30 years of age?

Aside from that, I don't know what's worse: being sent to jail for something as stupid as Simpsons Porn, or knowing that there is someone so tight-arsed that they actually decided to turn someone over the police for lewd drawings of said cartoon characters.

I'm surprised no one in Oz has been sent to jail for possessing Hentai... which is curious.

Chinese stamp on Avatar

yeah

I also find it amusing, especially since the West is itself slowly turning into socialist police states.

Avatar renders this earthly life meaningless

Enjoyed most of it

then the natives went all gaya-f@g and I almost threw up. I swear I almost got up and left when they started dancing around the giant tree. Otherwise, I quite enjoyed it (must admit that it was my first 3D movie).

'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

Open up a dimensional rift?

I just hope that whoever survives the resonance cascade will at least have a crowbar and an HEV-mach 1 suit handy, otherwise the inhabitants of Xen will enslave us all.

Facebook scoffs at hacktivist stunt

Playground antics

This is like finding an empty swing on the playground and claiming you have struck a blow for socialism.

Loud sex a human right, says loud sex woman

Freudian slip

I read Tyne and Wear as "Wear and Tear".

Baying mob turns on miniskirted Brazilian uni student

Was it really about the miniskirt?

In my experience of university, such things usually come about because the lady is known to be of loose morals. The skirt was probably just the final straw?

Ubuntu's Karmic Koala bares fangs at Windows 7

never would have thought...

... that I'd live to see something this awesome come out of South Africa.

Windows 7 - The Reg reader review redux

"It;s what Vista should have been"

I'd throw one out there and say that it is what Longhorn should have been.

Top vendors flunk Vista anti-virus tests

VB100 standard?

I always thought the VB100 standard was a program longer than 100 lines written in VB that would compile.

Microsoft super discounts Windows 7, cloud, online Office

And me?

I think I'll just wait for the free pirate copies to show up. ('tis a joke, gov'ner)

OpenOffice bug/feature stirs 'horde of angry chimps'

a title

I work in the multi-channel publishing business and I can tell you from first-hand experience that discrepancies that arise between MSOffice products and OO0, especially those in their XML-based files (.docx, .xlsx, etc) are usually because MSOffice is more fault tolerant than OOo. Whether this is good or bad is up for debate. Personally, I think that working around bugs you have introduced on the first place is EXTREMELY bad practice. A simple example would be MSWord disregarding its own Schema rules when you decide get creative with the layout. OOo Writer then has to try and make sense of something that is not defined in the .docx XSD, and therefore cannot address satisfactorily because it would mean having to deviate from the "standard" yourself.

Samsung smartphone keyboard takes wing

@AC 02:42 GMT

You DO know of course that PH is an A-cup?

Hollywood prepares to battle Asteroids

@Freecell: Trapped Ace of Frustration.

I can see Woody Allen directing this one.

Yet they don't make the obvious ones...

...like Half Life, Crysis, Bioshock, Starcraft, etc.

Porsche bites back at e-car proponents

@adrian sietsma

Are you SURE you want to label the 914 as a sports car?

@RFC822

Yes, and on the same note, the Church of $cientology is a recognized non-profit organization.

Microsoft bribes Oz to ditch Firefox

I think I found the $10000!!!!

I visited this one site and it said I was the 100 000 000th user and that I have won $10000!

US record industry wins $1.92m from file sharer

Nice going

Good job on destroying this woman's life. I'm glad I wasn't granted residence in the US. I have finally realised that they are as far removed from reality as everyone has been saying.

BOFH: Stick this

Comedy gold

Bravo!

Brits can't tell their heart from their elbow

A case could be made...

... for the supplied illustration that if if you selected option (4), you would also be correct, seeing as if you tug too hard on the highlighted appendage, your kidneys are pulled down into this area.

Boffins build basis for 9TB DVDs

9TB?

Imagine trying to rip a 9TB movie. to your harddrive.

An unthinking programmer's guide to the new C++

haha

HTML kicks C++'s ass.

Firefox finds more pesky bugs

I'm getting sick of the MS/everyone else debate

Why don't we just all whip out our penises (penii?) and see who the real men are once and for all?

Lotus offers to end e-car silent running

I will be one of the first...

...to delve into the internals of this system and replace the WAV file with one containing expletives. The one with the organic hemp C-precompiler woven into the lining.

Which zoo animals like artificial sweeteners: Facts at last

Pandas aren't all that intelligent...

... just last week I saw one investing a large sum of money in General Motors stock.

BSA hijacks Somali pirate hype

@Luis Ogando

"Does copying any type of media actually constitute violence?"

only if you use shoddy equipment.

Obama & Gates vs the US military-industrial complex

@Dan Paul

[Just watch "Ironman" for an example of what defense contractors are all about.]

With such a firm grasp of reality, it is only natural that you would vote for Obama.

Sun lands Sparc-Xeon super on Cape Town

Who's going to supply the electricity then?

'nuf said.

Dominican lad suffers six-day stiffy

RE: IT angle

The man had a Stiffy. Old tech, but still. Shame if it was only 3.5"

Norway mobilizes against IE 6

@Richard Drysdall

"I don't expect that Internet Explorer Mobile has any significant market share, but unlike it's desktop equivalent, there's simply no upgrade path available."

Opera or Opera Mini are great browsers for mobile phones. So will Minimo be when it finally gets unleashed on the world.

Feuding iPhone fart-makers raise legal stink

"Unfair business practice"...

... is kinda like when the guy in the cubicle next to your's lets out a silent one just as you have a yawn.

Fire Icon because, well you'd have had to be in the army to appreciate this one.

High-slider integrity planned for Windows 7 UAC

It's their own fault

Microsoft's #1 problem IMHO is that their operating systems are too user friendly. This is certainly good for sales, but sucks when it comes to security. This is unfortunately necessary because your grandma hasn't the slightest idea what the difference between an OLEDB connection and a recycle bin is. So now they have to find increasingly more intricate ways of keeping script kiddies out of her email, while at the same time allowing her to delete her [win32] folder, if she wishes.

Maybe they should try to imitate Ubuntu a bit more in this regard: you get to do almost anything you want in the realm of casual users, but things you aren't supposed to touch is hidden behind a root password.

First piss-drinking astronauts to go on live TV

I just hope...

...that they don't serve asparagus or beetroot on the ISS. Although mix-a-drink should be compulsory.

Microsoft expands languages with ESP

ESP?

As in [E]vil [S]inister [P]lot?

Microsoft prods and probes Office 14

One feature request if I may

Please remove the friggin' ribbon thingy and give me back my main menu.