* Posts by Samantha Clinton

39 posts • joined 29 Oct 2007

Street View projects Woolworths through temporal portal

Samantha Clinton


Mmmm...sorry Woolies, but personally I'd rather have a chicken shawarma than a bag of pick'n'mix ;)

Mines the one with the greasy napkin in the pocket...

Street View operatives object to being snapped

Samantha Clinton


in Aylesbury on Sunday afternoon...would have got a picture, if

a) I wasn't a woman and my phone hadn't have been buried at the bottom of my extremely capacious handbag holding the contents of my life

b) said phone had been anything other than a Jesusphone, and by the time I'd unlocked it, scrolled and opened the camera the car had vanished round the corner

c) because I'm too tight to buy a case I'm currently keeping it in a sock...which added valuable seconds to the time spent getting it out

d)that would have been irrelevant as I can't send sodding picture messages from said Jesusphone

Also, I think I'm going to have to stop reading El Reg, as no one I have told since has seemed half as excited about the sighting as I was...

Academic wants to 'free up' English spelling

Samantha Clinton

@ How People Read

Now, I hate to pick you up on statistics (there are lies, damn lies and statistics) but I'd really love to know where you got your figure of 99% literacy in the UK? Working for an adult learning provider I can tell you that the figure is a hell of a lot lower than that.


We use all sorts of methods to teach adults how to read and write but we teach them to read and write English as the majority of us, and other English speaking countries, understand it.

Also, strange that this story came out on what was National Literacy Day. Yes, I probably only know that it was because of my job...

JonB, you've gone quiet on the Malta front...

Portsmouth Historic Dockyard: Further poster outrage

Samantha Clinton


...me Friday is complete Jim Lad...

Coming soon: Facebook - The Movie!

Samantha Clinton

Speaking as one...

of the members of the FB group 'We have empty howling souls' spawned from a comments thread on El Reg itself (Hi John, hi Steve, hi everyone else *waves*) even I'm at a complete loss how anyone can possibly concieve that this was a good idea.

I'm off to post on Aaron Sorkin's page right now to tell him he really ought to consider bailing out on this one before he loses all credibility...

...and yes, I apologise for the confession I'm on facebook at all...

Portsmouth punts naval boy-on-boy to innocent kiddies

Samantha Clinton

@ Chris G

If they stuck to the pubic purse, there would be less allegations of raging homosexuality...

Samantha Clinton

@ Chris Miller

Winston Churchill forgot to mention the illegal drugs...


Council IT provider's staff exposed back-room operations

Samantha Clinton

Can I be the first

to say it was definitely not JonB and my good self...whiltst I do work in local government, it's miles away from Oldham...

Suprise at spelling snafu sanctions

Samantha Clinton

@ bi66er

Great! Jon, that'll save on the wedding photographer! Book Bletchley Park as soon as you can! ;)

Samantha Clinton


Might be worth keeping more than a 'few bar staff' ;) I'm quite partial to an occasional drink in a hot climate!

Samantha Clinton

In the grand scheme of things...

There are many practical examples of spelling not being overly important, but equally there are many for which it is vital. For instance, I work in a promotions and marketing role (awaits flames) for an adult learning provider in local government. The major part of my working life involves producing publicity materials such as prospectuses. You can imagine how important accuracy is in area like that...trust me, if you make a basic error someone will be on the phone complaining that as 'adult learning' we should know better. This is why I am a completely pedantic bore these days - it's ingrained into me.

Guess what? Although I did go to a grammar school, and did English Language at GCSE and 'A' level I chose not to go to university. My friend, who went to university, is quite possibly the worst culprit for you're, your, there, they're and their etc., that I know and is an international manager for a pharmaceutical software company. My father can't spell for toffee having left school at 14 with no qualifications, but that hasn't stopped him being a highly successful plumber for 40 years (just meant that someone else had to decipher his hand written notes and produce the invoices - hmmm, that would be me of late then).

*trying to remember point* However, we all three started from the same rules, and whilst I can forgive people for making the odd mistake, if we destandardise spellings, who will know what was originally meant? In this world it's hard enough not to get in accidental arguments via text or email as it is, without me wondering whether someone meant to say weird, wired, tried, tired etc.

@JonB - if you've freed me up from ironing duties, I should have the spare energy to take on Malta. I suppose not having the monsoon season should help keep the books dry. But won't the natives be a tad peeved?

Samantha Clinton


We're all capable of the occasional typo, and for me personally my brain sometimes runs ahead of my fingers...generally when I'm in a real rush to be a pedant and correct someone else, making myself look stupid in the process, but REALLY?? As it is I have friends that texts make so little sense I have to reread them 4 times before I can decipher them. If we suddenly decide that spelling is irrelevant I'm going to go and find myself a little dwelling on an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean, build a library and stay there till I die.

JonB...on an island the ironing will be less of an issue...and I'll still do the cooking ;)

Clone dog mistress denies she is 'sex in chains' McKinney

Samantha Clinton

@ Christopher Webb

Nor would I want to...

Although I do believe there are several sites on t'interweb where people have. Often purporting to be 'erotic fiction' ;) Difference being they'd involve the kidnapping, handcuffing, see-through skimpies, the mime troupe AND the five dogs. Allegedly...

Bill Gates exposed as closet Yorkshireman

Samantha Clinton

Address Bar


Insert choice of word/s...

American man too fat for execution

Samantha Clinton


...do I get the feeling that I wouldn't want to come across some of you lot if I was a paediatrician? There is evidence of rational thought on both sides of the argument, but it does seem to have been drowned out by the 'baying mob'!

And for the record, so that I'm not accused of sitting on the fence, I'm largely against it due to the fact that wrongful convictions do happen, and not out of any bleeding heart sentimentality. As has been said, it's rather hard to 'unkill someone'.

Samantha Clinton


And definitely nothing to do with being a woman!

George Orwell joins blogging fray

Samantha Clinton

@ Jonathan Richards

Ah, I see what you did there...I mean you did do it on purpose I'm guessing? ;)

*pauses to check, check and double check for elementary errors*

Click here to save Bletchley Park

Samantha Clinton

@ JonB

Are we still talking clothing? As whilst I have no objection to 'a bit of character' (hell, Daniel Craig is a bit craggy and he's DEFINITELY get it), if you bear more of a passing resemblance to a Shar Pei I may have issues...

Samantha Clinton


*shuffles off to place furtive advert for domestic help*

*and advert for man who doesn't require ironing*

Samantha Clinton

@ JonB

Take it the ironing was a step too far? *sigh*

US man cuffed for executing lawnmower

Samantha Clinton

@ JonB

Yes, but you can do your own ironing...or we get a domestic in ;)

Samantha Clinton

@ JonB

I think I love you...marry me and we can live in pedant heaven for blissful eternity...:)

Who do you think you are, knitting Mr Hitler?

Samantha Clinton

Thank you..

...for dooming me (and therefore my colleagues in the office) to a long afternoon humming the theme tune to Dad's Army...

Telegraph explains 'Why Heath Ledger will blow us'

Samantha Clinton

More importantly

...where's the exploding fridge story gone??? And BOFH??? The public demand answers!

Woman finds Lithuanian living in shed

Samantha Clinton


...is the picture on the Telegraph website credited to the Manchester Evening News? Could the local papers not get to Banbury in time?

And more importantly, why am I bothered...you can tell I'm procrastinating on a Friday can't you...?

Biggles battles Yanks for right to sport tash

Samantha Clinton


'Ball's tash was spared the chop'

I really ought to retrieve my mind from the gutter...I have a mental image I could really do without at lunchtime...

RAF strafes Next in pirated duvet copyright rumpus

Samantha Clinton
Black Helicopters


...having checked out the RAF site...how many young boys do you know that would want a Aviation Cross Stitch set for Christmas (yes, go on, shoot me down in sexist flames...)?

Would have thought the helicopter was self explanatory...and it features on the cross stitch)

Billg quits Facebook

Samantha Clinton

I'm 10th...

...feel the magic ;)

And for the record all my friends are actually people I know!!

There's something quite romantic about having an empty howling soul...puts me in mind of Wuthering Heights...

ABC fined $1.43m for NYPD Blue a*se flash

Samantha Clinton

I for one...

...am all for their censors coming over here forthwith. Did anyone else see Supersize v Superskinny last night?


/mine's the one with the overflowing sick bag in the pocket

Tom Cruise Scientology vid leaks onto net

Samantha Clinton

Where is...

...amanfrommars wen you need a lucid explanation...

British software pirate faces up to 10 years in jail

Samantha Clinton

RE: Statements AC 15 Jan 23.03

Erm...take it you haven't read the following report...pretty much ANYONE can enter your house these days...


Former beauty queen cuffed for torturing ex

Samantha Clinton

Re: Sydney Morning Herald

Surely the alleged victim should have some inkling of her darker side looking at her choice of props in that photo...

Microsoft accuses kids of bullying Santa into sex chat

Samantha Clinton


...it would appear that whoever provided santabot.com was well aware that people would try to make it say bad things...It said I was a category C person. When I asked what a category C person was it gave me it's definitions of A, B and C. Go check it out and see which one you are!

Surely, M$ should have thought of this....oh, silly me...

Microsoft kills Santa Claus

Samantha Clinton

Interesting response to the thorny question of existence...

You: Without the botmaster you would not exist

Santa: "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.

Samantha Clinton

Not your usual chat with santa

Me: What are you wearing

Santa: My usual plastic computer wardrobe

Me: Plastic?

Santa: I use AIML to formulate my responses but I don't have one foor that

You: Whats aiml


The Santa software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup

Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.

The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with

other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The

pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting

only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical

meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with

other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is

its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the and

tags respectively.

Now if the youngsters of today don't figure out Santa is dead from that there's no hope for them...although perhaps they wouldn't be asking Santa what he was wearing...

Samantha Clinton

Senility comes to all of us...

Me: What do you want for Christmas?

Santa: A humanoid body

Me: A humanoid body?

Santa: A dozen

Me: What do you want a dozen for?

Santa: What do I want a dozen for?

Me: I just asked you that

Santa: Ah yes. I remember you asked me that. What did you ask me?

*sigh* in cyberspace as in life...

Tesco punts Xbox 360 bundle for £33.24

Samantha Clinton

RE: Sandy

Yes, interestingly enough I checked out their bundles, and am getting the message that they are out of stock and no more is expected for 28 days...wonder if someone in their legal team has been advising them of retail law where if you advertise something at a certain price you either have to honour it, or take it off sale for 28 days. Or am I just TOO cynical?

Demon satnav imprisons plucky trucky in pasty hell

Samantha Clinton

Could've been worse...

...my sat nav once tried to leave me stranded in a bit of boggy wasteland between two labyrinthine housing estates in Milton Keynes...I'd much rather have taken my chances with the pasties...

L1NUX number plate roars onto eBay

Samantha Clinton

RE: Paul James

Your camera phone might not have any problems, but my eyes are when trying to read it! Perhaps I spend WAAAAY much too time staring at the screen!!


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