* Posts by Eddie Johnson

379 posts • joined 23 Oct 2007

Page:

YouTube fake tool dumbs down malware distribution

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Down

Wow, isn't Panda on the ball

>>Panda found a tool that can turn any executable file into a worm on underground forums back in June.

Well, I found similar technology, hilariously titled "Back Orifice", back in the 20th century. My version seems to be dated 1996 and it allowed you to easily trojanize the file of your choice. But I haven't used it, I promise. What do I win?

Google's IP anonymization fails to anonymize

Eddie Johnson
Paris Hilton

@J

The AOHell logs replaced the ID with a unique identifier. The problem is, if I see a particular unique identifier search for "Mabel Schnable" then "Mabel L. Schnable" then "Mabel Louise Schnable", there's a good chance its Mabel. Check a phone number, an address, or a few other details and its confirmed. People did this successfully and correctly identified a number of people in the AOL data.

Paris. Because 87% of the searches for "Paris Hilton sex tape" were traced back to...

The Google-isation of all the net's access points

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Down

Corporate Firefox

"Until Firefox, Safari, Opera, Chrome, whoever make it as easy for a big corporate to manage their browsers as IE does, they'll never make the switch."

A very good point AC. I deploy Firefox in our office and its a struggle just keeping everyone's NoScript installed. Firefox's support for "global extensions" is a pathetic joke. Actually, the way all the "global" config is handled sucks, especially when you switch between different major versions. I, as an admin may run 1.5, 2.0 and 3 all on any given day, and Firefox's handling of this scenario is pretty bad. Unless you explicitly call a separate profile for each version it just dumps certain settings out of your personal profile whenever they match the defaults for the particular version you are running at the time. Then you go back to a version where you actually need those custom settings and you've been defaulted.

Plus, every time a new version comes out you are discouraged from upgrading because there is some extension that's not supported. I can't run FF3 now because the AllCookies extension isn't supported and I need that to dump session cookies for WGET.

Gotta give it a big :thumbup: for the spellcheck though, it certainly helped this post.

Microsoft Silverlight: 10 reasons to love it, 10 reasons to hate it

Eddie Johnson
Stop

Same Shite Different Division

Can I just point out that 10 years ago we were told the web browser was the layer that would equalize all the different hardware and OS's so we would have write-once-run-anywhere code.

Today it should be obvious to everyone that failed to happen and is not getting any closer. That said, what makes you think stacking yet another layer on this house of cards will have any better results?

All the browser gave us was yet another layer of incompatibility. I go to web sites today with Firefox 2 and they bitch at me and tell me Navigator 4 from about 10 years ago, is the minimum requirement. Now I need a flash layer, a Java layer, a Silverlight layer and undoubtedly each has its own incompatible versions. Java wants to update about once a week. Flash wants to update about twice a month. Undoubtedly Silverlight will introduce Patch Thursday. On Tuesday you reboot your computer to install the ill named "hotfixes", on Thursday you'll reboot again because for some idiotic reason MS chose to incorporate the browser "layer" into the OS so you can't even update your Silverlight DLL's without another reboot.

Who else thinks Silverlight sounds like the OOXML of code?

Apple pulls posted pulled iPhone modem app

Eddie Johnson
Dead Vulture

And the winner is...

All things I-phone get the Rat's Ass Award.

Inquirer celebrates spammer murder-suicide

Eddie Johnson
Unhappy

@Mark_T

You don't have any idea what spammers do. Even if he had no blood directly on his hands he deserves no restraint just because he's a supposed "white collar" criminal. In any business which steals hundreds of millions of dollars though you can bet they *are* responsible for numerous deaths. I personally have been driven nearly to a blind rage just from the frustration of dealing with the onslaught of spam. I would bet he's contributed to more than a few suicides, ie from people screwed in his pump and dump stock scams. In my book he's a serial murderer.

Fugitive spammer in murder-suicide

Eddie Johnson
Pirate

@All "addiction as illness" supporters

>>"Once they're addicted they don't have that choice unless they've got a lot more will power than most people."

So on El Reg we CAN be disdainful of people who don't have the willpower to refrain from clicking on emailed links but we CAN'T be disdainful of people who don't have the willpower to control their chemical indulgences which they've embarked upon voluntarily?

Good to know. To me they are pretty much the same. Don't get on the train if you don't want to end up at the destination.

North Americans just don't steal handsets, apparently...

Eddie Johnson
Happy

@JonB

"...or maybe they just sit around having a curry."

No, in the US its a donut. A jelly donut. Mmmm, donuts.

Eddie Johnson
Happy

Looking on the bright side...

I suppose this is the upside to US "free phone with contract" based service, no one buys phones retail so there is no blackmarket for them either. Why would someone buy an old, stolen phone when they will be given a brand new shiny one with their plan?

Yes, I know its an inferior phone, crippled by carrier specific firmware, but at least there is this one upside, no?

Google releases serialization scheme

Eddie Johnson
Boffin

Incredibly poor naming

Perhaps the reason few people understand the "serialization scheme" is that it is an incredibly poor name. WTF does this have to do with the root word "series"?

An interface by any other name is still just an interface. I guess this gives the markettards a few more opportunities to monetize the transactions and leverage their investment to profitize a subpar ROI?

Microsoft eyes AOL takeover

Eddie Johnson
Happy

You left out the punchline

"AOL bought Time Warner for $160bn at the height of the last bubble."

You left out the punchline, what's the value of the company now?

Defunct online service + dying print media + substandard cable = ???

Intel Classmate PC lands in UK for £239

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Down

@classroom AC

Well, I doubt she'll have to put up with them for long, I expect they will all slowly disappear within a few months.

Yep, the biggest minus to a portable computer when you put it in a class full of thieving kids is that it will vanish.

Gadgets safe from global airport anti-piracy plan

Eddie Johnson
Black Helicopters

Don't be short sighted

Allowing the govt to pass onerous legislation simply because its not practical for them to enforce it is just stupid. A few years from now they WILL have the processing power and ability to scan every person's handheld as they pass thru customs, and they will be able to because the people allowed them to pass a law we didn't think they would be able to enforce.

Their track record shows they will extend and expand any power they are granted so they can not be trusted to exercise discretion.

Obama bloats Vista by 11MB

Eddie Johnson
Linux

Allow me to restate the obvious ...

since everyone else is too. This is disturbing on SO MANY levels.

The fact that they can't merge a handful of words into the database shows how poor the design is.

The fact that the database is that big to begin with is ridiculous.

The fact that a dictionary is part of the operating system is a pathetic design.

The fact that changing any part of the operating system other than the kernel requires a reboot.

The fact that MS just puts the blanket "may require a reboot" on every single patch they put out.

I question the validity of adding proper names, even those of famous people. Allow the lusers to add their own on an as needed basis. IE "Britney" is a misspelling and I don't want it in my DB even if some illiterate swamp dweller named her talentless dropping that.

The sensationalism of labeling a dictionary addition (addition!, not even a correction) as Important. Classic Boy Who Cried Wolf, and this is why they get no respect when they call something "critical". I'm with JonB on the "trivial" or "pointless".

[Where's the icon of a baby duckling blindly following the others?]

Has ISO already rejected anti-OOXML appeals?

Eddie Johnson
Gates Horns

ISO squanders what little credibility they have left

Next week we'll probably hear about an Italian vacation the ISO heads took, donated by some kindly anonymous souls. All booked through Expedia of course.

NebuAd plays cat and mouse with data pimping opt-out

Eddie Johnson
Happy

@Gordon Pryra

Do you understand how encryption and especially public key encryption work? The days of needing a backchannel for key exchange are long gone. The key I encrypt with doesn't allow an intermediary to decrypt.

Despite that, its always just a matter of being difficult. If my packets take more energy to scan than yours they will scan yours for years before they get around to me. The processing power to decrypt all the traffic flowing through their boxes is exponentially higher and breaks the cost/benefit model.

Its like a pack of hikers running from a bear. I don't have to be faster/smarter than the bear, I only have to be faster/smarter than *you*.

Eddie Johnson
Black Helicopters

Its clearly time to encrypt all traffic

I don't trust any of these companies for more than 3 days after any agreement is signed, you can opt out all you want, they always just change there T&C's and somehow everyone who was out is suddenly back in again.

This crap is just one more push toward 100% encrypted traffic over the wire.

I've always used Scroogle to keep my searches confidential from Google but a while back, after reading all this crap, I switched to Scroogle's SSL encrypted interface so noone at the ISP level can spy.

Check out www.scroogle.org if you don't accept the "all your searches are belong to us" party line from your ISP.

Helo. Because just because you're being paranoid doesn't mean they aren't watching you.

MS issues eleventh hour Snapshot bug workaround

Eddie Johnson
Dead Vulture

But wait...

>> Some of these involve preventing COM objects from running in Internet Explorer, or disabling scripting. The first of these means using the Registry Editor, where mistakes can really screw up your system, while the second might leave users unable to use many websites normally. Given these choices, less technically knowledgeable Windows users might do better to use either Firefox or Opera pending the availability of a patch, which Microsoft has begun to develop.

So if I disable COM objects in IE I might be "unable to use many websites normally" but if I use Firefox or Opera which don't support ActiveX in the first place these same web sites will continue to work?

Blind spot - the trouble with optical drives

Eddie Johnson
Happy

Proprietary = Doomed

Proprietary = Doomed

Especially with backup where you know you need long term device support for at least 5-10 years. Affordability is also an issue, lets say my $5-10K device fails, even after its no longer my current backup solution, but now I need to recover something so I have to keep a device working so I have to either buy redundantly and keep an expensive spare or pray that I can still get one several years later.

For this reason I abandoned tape after outgrowing a 1G then 5G then 10G then 20G tape years ago, maybe 1 of which wa backward compatible with the previous ( I think the 10G could read the 5G tapes).

Then I moved to HD-HD backups without removable drive trays to take the disks off site, it was actually faster (no suprise) and cheaper than tape because you could buy an 80G drive for the same money as 2-3 20G tapes. And the HD's don't rip you off by claiming 2:1 compression inherent in their published sizes.

Now I'm waiting for Blueray which will be the equivalent of a 50G tape (using the 2:1 lie!) and will be readable in many devices for no compat problems.

Do unattended HD-HD backup then burn a series of BD disks for offsite as needed.

The tape manufacturers have lost all touch with reality.

AVG chokes fake traffic spew

Eddie Johnson
Flame

@AC using "re-architected"

"re-architected"?

An architect is a person who designs buildings. Its use in any other context is pure crap. I believe the word you are looking for .... wait for it.... its really simple.... is *redesigned*.

Stop trying to be a dotcom market-tard by using made up words!

ISO certifies Adobe's PDF

Eddie Johnson
Boffin

@Adrian Esdaile

Too funny! But hopefully it won't use EMACS, it'll be based on JOVE!

@Foxit Evangelists

I installed Foxit because I too was fed up with a new version of Adobe Reader every week, a 50M download, and huge ass MSI packages installed both in user profiles and under program files.

Yep Foxit opens faster :). Now open up a complex PDF, maybe one that includes vector graphics like a PdfCreator print from Autocad. Foxit takes forever to draw. Now drag the window to the other side of your screen, without even resizing it, and wait for Foxit to take forever *again* to redraw. Now resize the window down a little, because you don't need all that gray background outside the page border and wait for Foxit to take forever *again* to redraw.

Now repeat this task with Adobe and see which one actually takes more time. At least Adobe properly caches the rendered screen image instead of starting over from scratch every time you move the window around.

Foxit is good but its not there yet, it shows all the signs of amateurly written software that has never been firetested with large, complex documents.

I do like how it remembers the last page I was on and the last printer used though.

How to beat AVG's fake traffic spew

Eddie Johnson
Paris Hilton

Y'all are still missing the boat

@AC recommending avg.load("/js/empty.js")

Again, you CAN NOT rely on people having JS enabled, cookies enabled or any other option enabled. More and more people are becoming security conscious, or having a security conscious friend drill this stuff into their thick head. I personally run with a *.js block rule at the proxy. I don't need no stinking scripts.

LinkScanner offers absolutely no technical advantage. Why would they have a better chance of spotting malware on a preemtive scan than on the actual download to the browser? They wouldn't! This is nothing but a marketing ploy to establish a feature where they are "ahead" of the pack. Its straight up FUD, plain and simple.

EOT.

Paris. Because only she would be dumb enough to still be finding "solutions" to this.

Real researchers discover 'Music Without Limits'

Eddie Johnson
Flame

@AC

Bite your tongue AC! I'm sure in no time at all shop.com and buy.com and getyercraphere.com and a gibizillion other shopper sites will be doing just what you want. You won't even be able to actually FIND the song you want but you'll be able to find a googleful of dead links to places that linked to a place you could buy it a year ago.

Fire pretty. Web 2.0 bad.

Eddie Johnson
Unhappy

Bitrates?

Bitrates?

Cuz if this is 128kbit crap as I suspect.... there are plenty of limitations!

How bout going beyond the corporate press release and actually doing a little.... journalism?

AVG scanner blasts internet with fake traffic

Eddie Johnson
Happy

@Stephen Usher

"In the future browsers may walk web page links and pre-cache them for the user in case they need them"

Yeah, I think that will be available in 2002. In XP. Check "make available offline".

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Down

@Joe K

Small? I knew AVG 8 was forked when I saw it was a 52M download, up from 12M for 7.5. They are obviously headed down the bloatware road, creating a beast the complexity of Norton which will leave the same trail of destruction.

It was nice knowing you AVG, you were once small and elegant, version 7.5 showed the writing on the wall, and version 8 is full on bloatware.

YouTube admits ad impasse

Eddie Johnson
Happy

The obvious implication...

"With online video, the pundits proclaim, channels are infinite, and you can choose whatever you like whenever you want it."

The caveat to this is that you can choose not to watch ads.

Sure Brain, there's an ongoing arms race as the advertisers try to find new, innovative ways to force me to watch what I don't want to but they always seem to lose. Commercial zapping for TV, stream extracting, the fact is more choice means I'm not going to watch your ad. Its as simple as the paradigm introduced 25 years ago by the remote control - when an ad comes on one channel the impatient viewer changes channels. On the internet the diversions are endless so even without technical means I'm going to avoid your embedded ad. Think you're tricky? You're going to make your ad window stay-on-top? Amateur. Doomed to failure.

HP dishes 24 hour party people blade

Eddie Johnson
Happy

It all adds up

So you're paying $150K each for a couple Itanics. Where's the news in that? Does the FPU still suck royally?

Yahoo! Messenger! Trojan! false alarm!

Eddie Johnson
Happy

@Rob

I don't know about that but it certainly falls in the category of crypticware. How 'bout giving us a product name that reflects what the product actually does?

Oh... wait... its an AV product so its supposed to provide an ineffective but comforting, false feeling of security, maybe the name *does* reflect what it fails to do.

FTC wants to hit the spyware guys where it hurts

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Down

Same shite different dumbass

If it follows the example of the anti spam legislation the states get it right, then the federal government totally screws it up by claiming full authority, negating the state laws, and implementing some toothless bill that ends up legitimizing the spyware as long as they stamp a disclaimer on it and agree to remove you from their botnet, if and only if you specifically opt out of that particular network. But you will be quickly added to Botnet.RevB because you have not yet opted out of that one.

A quick rule of thumb is that any bill crafted with a catchy name will almost always do the opposite of what it claims.

eBay told to stop forcing Aussies to use PayPal

Eddie Johnson
Unhappy

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish

A good decision for sure, but one that becomes more and more meaningless every day as eBay continues to circle the drain.

I almost wish they'd allow it though because I bet eBay's AU business would drop by 30% over the next year.

Windows Server 2008 cuts power costs, claims Microsoft

Eddie Johnson
Stop

More MS Illusions

But if the server is capable of running multiple virtual machines that means the machines were not fully loaded individually. And that means their "smart power management" would have stepped down the processor to less than full power draw... but now you add virtual machines to the same hardware, it works harder, it draws more power. The MS lackey posited a hypothetical situation that will never exist!

All MS's FUD can't hide the obvious, Win2008 provides NO measurable power savings, the only difference is *the default configuration*, ie power management was probably the *only* service MS didn't have running by default in 2003. Yeah, they had Infrared running despite the lack of infrared hardware, they had Wireless Zero Config running despite the lack of wireless hardware, but they didn't have power management running? Of course they did. It was running with a do-nothing configuration!

Reminder: If 2 virtual servers will run on a piece of hardware, and they are both MS products, you're better off just running one and dumping the whole virtual layer of crap that stole 10% of your throughput. Heresy, you say, not to jump on the latest buzzword bandwagon? Go ahead and connect your virtual machines to your SAN that you had to buy to support them when a single server with attached disks would have done it all at 2 orders less complexity! Remember this whole architecture grew out of MS replacing a handful of UNIX servers with THOUSANDS of NT machines.

Ingres alumnus joins DBMS scrum

Eddie Johnson
Coat

Just remember

When *you* are in the cloud, its no longer a cloud, its just fog.

Sounds like a great place to do some computing.

Mines the slicker with the hood.

Trend withdraws from 'irrelevant' VB100 anti-virus test

Eddie Johnson
Stop

Makes complete sense

I makes complete sense that their test is outdated because AV software is so 20th century. AV software was outdated in 1995 and has only become more irrelevant every day since. The industry just struggles on because its a cash cow, charging clueless n00bs monthly or yearly fees for signature updates that are outdated by the time you download them. It used to be you updated your AV once a month or once a week, daily is now the norm and some of them want to update every few hours. Anyone see the futility in the reactive model?

Mozilla guns for Guinness world record with Firefox 3.0

Eddie Johnson
Alert

@Tim Bates

Actually by the MS standard Firefox blew it, the current version should be 2.0.14.34 or something, its major.minor.release.build where the build only releases would only be seen by people who download nightlies and RC's and such.

Windows XP bests OS X in RIA test on Intel

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Down

EffectiveUI my ass

Well, I lost all respect for EffectiveUI once I saw they listed eBay as a client. eBay's pages suffer from some of the worst bloat, use of unnecessary script, and just generally poor architecture I've encountered so I wouldn't be proud of that work. I remember the days when I thought their pages were bloated at an average around 35K, now they average more like 100K with NO ADDED USER FACING FUNCTIONALITY! And yes, I'm talking only about the eBay provided framework I realize lusers are responsible for filling *some* of the page in.

Youse guys SUCK in other words, learn to fight the code bloat! Is eBay too stupid to realize their moronic page design has doubled or tripled their bandwidth? And anyone who allows script to run on eBay pages is a bigger maroon than the designers. Their site is totally infested with malicious code.

Department of Homeland Security website hacked!

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Up

@Andrew Langhorn

Plenty of people are safe. They are the ones like me who disable java, javascript, flash, cookies, referers, iframes and pretty much everything else except static text and images.

Hopefully this will be the straw that breaks the dynamic web's back.

Yeah, I'm still back on Web 0.9 and that's the way I like it. Yall can keep your Facespace and youboob and shitty flash demos. When I get to a companies home page and it tells me I have to install flash I know its a company driven by marketdroids rather than engineers and its no one I want to do business with.

AVG revamps free security scanner

Eddie Johnson
Stop

Psssst..... can you keep a secret?

I love AVG too, but once you turn the whole world onto it all they will do is jack the price and screw the user. Checked out Ad-aware or Kerio firewall lately?

Windows Vista update 'kills' USB devices

Eddie Johnson
Happy

@buddy

>>I can't run my new hardware on Win2k - It's not a 64bit OS (i've got 4gb of ram, win2k would only see 2 of that - plus a 64bit cpu, which w2k wouldn't make full use of either).

But.... I bet with only 2G RAM and 1 core it will still smoke Vista at practically any task. The point is, that second core is 100% supporting the OS spying on what you are *attempting* to do and probably half the first core as well. And Win2K doesn't *need* 4G to run decently.

Circular logic indeed.

Sun abuses IPTV with Xeons, Opterons, switch and small dog

Eddie Johnson
Coat

@AC

"Somewhat cynical" is what I pay for with The Reg.

And by "pay for" I mean "click on banner ads" and by "click on" I mean block.

Taxi!

Driver, can I just click repeatedly on the lightup sign on your roof for a free trip?

HP launches Linux-loaded Eee PC rival

Eddie Johnson
Stop

Don't play the manufacturers Lying Game

The CRT makers got their asses sued off for playing this 14.9"=15" game and I thought the lesson had been learned with all the new LCD monitors. Please don't start back down this road, if their monitor is 7.9" call it 7" and shame them into providing the full amount.

Its bad enough the HD guys are still getting away with defining their own custom units. I'm just waiting for the day when I go to the grocery for a dozen eggs and there's fine print on the carton: "For the purposes of this sale, 1 dozen has been defined as 10"

Sony bullish on Blu-ray dominance

Eddie Johnson
Go

I plan to buy a Bluray burner*

I plan to buy a Bluray burner when it becomes cost effective. Currently I can store data at $.33/4.3G on DVD plus the overhead of burning.

That means media prices will be roughly equal when BRD's are available for $1.50. There will be an obvious labor savings so I decided I will buy a burner when BRD's are available for $3 because it will save me some labor and space.

Any bets on how long it will take for disks to fall from the current $15 to $3? There has been no motion at all over the past year so I'll be suprised if they break $10 by 2009. Something tells me the "next big thing" will already be on the horizon by the time Bluray becomes cost effective.

*Nothing I buy will be Sony branded because they are rootkit installing criminals who all belong in prison.

Eddie Johnson
Paris Hilton

And on the movie front...

I'm a movie buff too with a huge collection of DVD's and I tuly look forward to higher definition there but I never pay more than $10 for a movie. As long as they are trying to charge premium prices for HD I won't be buying them and it may actually cause me to buy *less* standard def stuff as I try to avoid buying into a fading technology.

So... the message to the Bluray proponents is, "you better quit charging a premium for HD because its going to cost you net sales." And also, I could not care less about your so called "extras" which are just another attempt by you to bait me to some web site where you can try and shove more advertising down my throat. Once I buy your product don't treat me like a market.

Paris, cuz I'd check out her bits in HD.

Creative threatens developer over home-brewed Vista drivers

Eddie Johnson
Dead Vulture

The answer is obvious folks...

Creative now joins other crap companies on the list of people I will never do business with. I'm quite good at holding a grudge thank you. I haven't bought a CD since the RIAA started suing people, I won't buy Sony products since their rootkit debacle, its a long and ever growing list. I remember the day (way back in the Win31 days) when Soundblaster was a great name. By the late 90's when they couldn't provide decent drivers to keep their crappy products working under NT4 I knew they were done. It only took about 100 BSOD's to learn that lesson.

I guess a dead bird is the closest icon I'll find since you don't offer a steaming pile of shit yet. << Hint, hint!

Microsoft makes final heroic grab for OOXML votes

Eddie Johnson
Gates Horns

@Hmmm AC

Wait a minute, did you forget this is The Register? You sound like you actually read the spec and are arguing based on merits rather than religion or prejudice! How dare you! :-O

Adobe to remove Photoshop pic pimping clause

Eddie Johnson
Unhappy

Well, that's a disappointment...

Well, that's a disappointment, I was planning to upload a photo of a hot little pr0n model shitting out a box of Adobe Acrobat or some other overpriced tat.

Fun ruined. I guess I'll just take my copy of Paint and go home.

Mozilla plugs 10 security holes in Firefox

Eddie Johnson
Stop

@RW

>> "I have to wonder if the entire modern approach to design and construction of programs is fundamentally flawed."

ITA with that. To me the pace of change is the problem. What good is my ability to review the source because by the end of the month it will have changed. No one can know the software well because it changes before you have more than a cursory knowledge. FF needs to slow down with the major versions and the added features to control the bloat. Focus on recoding for security, reliability and efficiency.

Eddie Johnson
Thumb Up

@AC

I'm sick of the frequency of Firefox updates too but in their defense, at least *they* don't require a reboot to update a browser. I always laugh when I see MS use the term "hotfix" about various patches because they clearly don't know what "hot" implies.

What the FF folks tend to forget is that half the time you are prevented from upgrading quickly due to plugin compatibility. I've lost a number of useful plugins that haven't worked since 1.5. I ran 1.0 for most of 1.5's lifetime because 1.5 *never* supported Calendar. Hell, I still have a Mozilla 1.7 icon on my desktop that I have to get out for various tasks.

My coat's the one with 4 screwdrivers and an adjustable wrench in the breast pocket.

Vista SP1 on track for mid-March release?

Eddie Johnson
Dead Vulture

@AC@GL

You are quite right to blame HP, a printer driver should not require a service, as many have said before if the printer driver can't fit on a floppy or 2 the printer is shit. Let me guess you have a bunch of z*.dll's, 7 different tray icons, and little yellow balloons popping up all over the place asking if you'd like to contact HP's web site to order supplies or download the latest bloatware?

Dead vulture 'cuz HP is dead to me as a manufacturer of quality printers.

Lonely Paris Hilton seeks new best friend

Eddie Johnson
Happy

Dear Paris,

Dear Paris,

Please, please, PLEASE chose mE! I'd do just about anything to be your bestest friend EVA! Well, you know, except those dirty things, cause I heard that you might, like, have something. And I don't want it, ya know? But its kewl, I don't hold that against anyone and I'd totally be like your bestest friend EVER!

PS You were so awesome in The Hottie and the Nottie, I don't care what they say about you on imdb.com I'd never believe it ever. You RAWK!

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