* Posts by Big Al

314 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Oct 2007

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Nude lady recreates Star Wars tauntaun scene in dead horse

Big Al
Joke

Opportunity missed.

After all, she could have put on the dominatrix gear and gone for the full 'flogging a dead horse' thing...

Gadget Shop kingpin cuffed in nightclub 'toilet sex' incident

Big Al

@Rob Dobs

The lads were probably moonlighting as bouncers/security guards to earn extra cash. After all, they're trained to subdue and firearms, and have great contacts with the local PD... I can see them being quite in demand!

Argentina stakes online claim on Falklands

Big Al
Flame

You want them? Come and get them!

Oh wait, you tried that before, didn't you...?

Anonymous threatens Mexican drug cartel

Big Al

Messy

If the threat is acted on, there will literally be blood on the streets - the Zetas have been hit hard by the Mexican government this year, but are still highly dangerous, as are their rival cartels, who would doubtless be interested to know who's been working against them.

So both those 'outed' and those doing the outing will be endangered - the Zetas have acquired the services of hackers in the past, after all, and have absolutely no restraint when it comes to removing those who annoy them.

Gulf of California terrorized by ONE-EYED MUTANT SHARK!

Big Al
Facepalm

Someone has to say it...

Better keep an eye out for those then!

Winning new UK pylon design may never be used

Big Al
Coffee/keyboard

Invoice: one keyboard

"the Minister for Energy and Climate Change, for whom whale song is a lifestyle soundtrack"

Most amusing thing I've read all week - nice one Andrew!

Drone nerve centre malware was Mafia Wars' infostealer

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Something to do...

... during those long, boring flights-to-target, I guess!

Future wars will be over water not fuel, warns Intel sage

Big Al

Whut?

Personal keychains are a great idea... now, who's got the solution to being able to slurp data from them, spread viruses to all your devices through them, and so on...?

Chaos feared after Unix time-zone database is nuked

Big Al
Mushroom

FoxClocks

The excellent FoxClocks addon for Firefox also uses (used?) this resource, too :(

The life and times of Steven Paul Jobs, Part One

Big Al
Headmaster

Er, whut?

Whatever one may think of Steve Jobs, his impact was immense, and he left this world far too early for someone with such drive.

On a different note entirely... "Tommy John of the eponymous surgery" - Tommy John surgery may well be something that baseball fans know about, but over on the eastern side of the Pond it's going to cause 'John Thomas' jokes...

Adobe: crashing 100 million machines not an option

Big Al
Facepalm

No, really?

"He was referring to the blue screens many computers display after suffering serious software errors."

Gosh, thanks for explaining that!

Oz Territory terrorized by MUTANT CANE TOADS!

Big Al
Coat

Evolutionary economics

Clearly a response to the global economic downturn - French restaurants will now be able to get an additional serving from each one! That should catch the critics on the hop...

Okay, okay, I'll get mine...

Booze giant's Facebook tie-up sparks ad concerns

Big Al
Alert

How soon we forget...

""

The makers of alcoholic drinks including Baileys and Smirnoff have agreed to introduce a code of practice for their adverts of Facebook and other social media, and said that such websites are now often the main route for promoting alcoholic drinks.

New guidelines will restrict access to official brand pages for users under 18 years old on social networking sites such as Facebook. Advertising will only be placed in environments where more than 70 per cent of viewers are over 18.

The European Forum for Responsible Drinking (EFRD), which represents the largest alcoholic spirits manufacturers in Europe and America, such as Diageo, said the new guidelines will extend responsible alcohol advertising to brand pages on Facebook, blogs and mobile apps

""

From the Daily Telegraph, Sept 21st 2011.

Georgia Parole Board blocks Amnesty email campaign

Big Al
Mushroom

It's not a 'callous disregard' - they probably don't even know where New Zealand is.

And even if they do, the idea that any Americans are going to care about the feelings of people in a small country on the other side of the globe seems far-fetched, given precedent...

Royal rugby star bar snog CCTV upload - bouncer in court

Big Al

Well what did we expect?

He's a flippin' rugby player.

I'm sure his wife is bright enough to know that rugby players are known for their partying as well as their on-field antics...

Chinese bloke gets eel lodged up todger

Big Al

Ouch!

That is all.

State-sponsored spies collaborate with crimeware gang

Big Al
Black Helicopters

And in some cases...

... the malware gangs might even *know* about the use of their kit by the Spooks.

Bet the Spooks don't ask if they don't have to, though.

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Big Al
Childcatcher

Oh the Humanity!

What causes me to despair is not that someone tries to make money out of such spurious apps, but that so many people were gullible enough to shell out for them..

We didn't leak names of US agents, insists WikiLeaks

Big Al
Facepalm

Er... duh?

"We're keeping this encrypted stuff secure by giving the password to several people!"

Is it me, or does that sound.... wrong?

Many parents are only on Facebook to stalk their kids

Big Al
Childcatcher

But more seriously...

My kids use FB, and are well aware that I reserve the right to check up on their profiles or even access their accounts and/or hardware should the occasion arise.

They have of course been educated in Internet safety by me, starting with serious chats before they were allowed online, and are reminded about it constantly. They have also been indoctrinated with my healthy paranoia about computer security, and know that spot checks can and do happen... woe betide the first one who is careless enough to pick up a virus or Trojan! (After several years, neither have, touch wood).

I would worry more about parents who DON'T try to keep track of their kids online, and I am always very nervous of the vast majority who aren't capable of advising on security issues.

Big Al
Joke

"... to keep track of their partners"

Let me fix that for you:

"Presumably the other 76% are on facebook to keep track of their parents"

News International grabs SunOnSunday.co.uk domain

Big Al
Facepalm

Sunday Sun

The Sunday Sun, meanwhile, is a regional newspaper owned by Trinity Mirror Group, using sundaysun.co.uk...

Feds seize kit from Apple Store spyware artist

Big Al
Holmes

Why the Secret Service?

Coz it is actually part of their job.

From their own website:

"

Computer Fraud - Title 18 of the United States Code, Section 1030, authorizes the Secret Service to investigate computer crimes. Violations enforced under this statute include unauthorized access to protected computers, theft of data such as personal identification used to commit identity theft, denial of service attacks used for extortion or disruption of e-commerce and malware (malicious software) distribution to include viruses intended for financial gain.

"

I think data for personal identification includes images of people taken without either their knowledge *or the knowledge of the computer's owner* and then sent to an offsite server.

And that's before we include the argument about whether his code is, strictly speaking, malware or not, and before we consider whether these computers should be considered 'protected' by being on Holy Ground.

Cisco drives epic Chinese surveillance network, says report

Big Al
Holmes

Open government

So the story here is that a Chinese municipal government is making a planned and properly thought-through investment, rather than just rely on the ad hoc and irregular patchwork of both publicly and privately operated CCTV cameras, speed cameras and cashpoint cameras used by the forces of law and order in every Western city?

Wow. Big news.

NotW accused of hacking Milly Dowler's voicemail

Big Al
Childcatcher

Rare event

I find myself agreeing with a lawyer - heinous and despicable indeed!

These people deserve far worse than the law will be able to give them.

Bloke ordered to remove offensive numberplate

Big Al
Holmes

Got him by the BO11 LUX

If the number has been withdrawn, then his vehicle is unregistered unless he has a second plate somewhere. So he can be as stubborn as he likes, but can still be nicked for it.

Whether that means he *must* return the old ones for a refund rather than just keeping them and displaying them behind the windscreen is, I guess, a different matter...

Not fair, but I can't see him winning this one.

Bloke pissing in reservoir prompts 8m gallon flush

Big Al
Holmes

@AC 0134

"Sorry America, you've got some really good things in your country that I'll stand up for"

Ah, so you're a male AC then?

World braces for domain name EXPLOSION

Big Al
Holmes

Multinationals will smile

... because this will now effectively give them sole and exclusive control over their company domains in all territories at a single stroke.

Instead of needing to trust, rely or bully the local distributor who managed to nab their name with the local country suffix way back in the day, they can now insist that all their genuine info goes under their own 'vanity' domain - making changing distributor rather easier, should it become necessary.

I suspect that Canon and Hitachi will be the tip of a very, very large iceberg.

On the plus side, customers going to such multinational-suffixed sites will reduce the risk of getting themselves scammed by a local con artist, I guess... (which is no guarantee that the multinational won't scam them itself, of course!)

8m health records go walkabout

Big Al
Alert

Postcodes

AC writes: "If this is the full postcode, then they are normally specific to about 15 houses"

Fifteen? Heck, in some cases a UK postcode may be specific to just two houses!!! (I used to live in a detached house that shared its postcode only with next door).

Agree that it's not like in some other countries where the postcode is a whole district or even town, which makes this loss far more worrying than might otherwise appear to be the case.

Citigroup hack exploited easy-to-detect web flaw

Big Al
Facepalm

Ironically...

Citibank is listed on OWASP's list of big name adopters.

Oops!

Sandi Toksvig puts the 'n' into cuts - on the Beeb

Big Al
Coat

Clearly...

This will mean cutns for her career!

Ok, ok, getting it already...

Virgin IT dept shocked by donkey-shagging Taliban

Big Al
Childcatcher

Could have been worse...

... could have been Spanish donkeys!

Reg hack applauds asinine augmentation

Big Al
Childcatcher

Traditional

Barbarella (with or without your Spanish 'll')

Bella (ditto)

Total Recall rehash – exit Martians, enter Jessica Biel

Big Al
FAIL

@AC "Go PKD, fame at last!"

What, so Blade Runner, Minority Report and The Adjustment Bureau didn't generate enough newsprint for you, or something?

Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Big Al
FAIL

Mozart

"Too many notes, my dear Mozart"... and we know how well *that* judgement has withstood the test of time...

Hack on Sony-owned ISP steals $1,220 in virtual cash

Big Al
WTF?

W T F ?

There were ten thousand attempts to break into the system, and nobody noticed until a customer complained?!

Eight New Yorkers sue Baidu for $16m

Big Al
Alert

Danger: falling similes

"An internet search engine is a public acommodation, just like a hotel or restaurant," Preziosi argued."

But if you don't like a hotel or restaurant, you just choose to go to a different one.

Activists suing Baidu because the latter's searches don't show their work is like the Beef Producers' Association suing a vegetarian restaurant over their menu choices.

Bin Laden's porn stash: Too good to be true?

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Said it before...

... and I'll probably bore people to death by repeatedly saying it again.

It's never so much the information itself that's interesting, but rather who's leaking it, why they're leaking it, and much more importantly why they're leaking it *right now*.

Facebook planking game claims its first victim

Big Al
Joke

Linguistic revisionism

Clearly we need to start referring to plankers instead of plonkers...

Porn found in Osama bin Laden compound

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Surprised?

So obviously a smear, the fundies won't fall for it.

All the news about 'what was found' - allegedly e-mail, contact lists, pr0n, operational details - has been designed to spread FUD.

As always, the question should not be "what is being leaked from the investigation", but "who is handing out this info, and why are they doing so right now?"

PlayStation Network hack launched from Amazon EC2

Big Al
Headmaster

Nice work if you can get it

"In both cases, those tapping the Amazon cloud did so as paid customers"

Nice! Where do I sign up to be paid to use these services?

Slovakian cannibal's dinner calls in cops

Big Al
Dead Vulture

Dead meat

The alleged (or perhaps wannabe) cannibal died in hospital of progressive organ failure earlier this afternoon, according to local press reports.

Nude gardener's arse hauled into court

Big Al
Coat

It's the old joke, isn't it?

If you're old, male and nude in your garden, and a neighbour sees you, you're a flasher.

If you're young, female and nude in your garden, and a neighbour sees you, they're a peeping Tom.

Mine's the dirty mac.

Fraud charges for 3 former Torex execs

Big Al
Troll

Er...

Am I the only one who initially read that headline as 'Fraud charges for 3 former Tory execs'?

Is there anything to find on bin Laden's hard drive?

Big Al
Black Helicopters

We won't hear anyway

"It will be interesting to learn just how adept bin Laden was at protecting the data stashed on his computer gear."

Why on earth should we learn about it at all?

The Spooks will certainly want to keep anything they find very deeply secret, so that they can make use of it before other potential targets are warned off.

Given the need to rely on physical couriers, I highly doubt that there's any handy address book on there. Any 'leaks' from the Spooks which do occur will probably be misinformation designed to scare a reaction out of people they haven't been able to find.

Robot pirate invented in USA: 'Yarr-2 D-2'?

Big Al
Welcome

I for one...

... wish to welcome our new robot overlord admirals!

Legal goons threaten researcher for reporting security bug

Big Al
Grenade

So next time...

So next time someone finds an issue with their software, they'll just be lining up to do their social duty and let the company know in a responsible fashion, huh?

Talk about short-sighted...

Boffins devise way to hide secret data on hard drives

Big Al
Big Brother

Open source? handy!

Even assuming that this technique hasn't already been 'discovered' by the Spooks, it presumably won't take long for someone to come up with a way of identifying 'cover files' or otherwise finding a way to see the secrets.

Multimillionaire's private space ship 'can land on Mars'

Big Al
Alien

No return

"Presumably he's thinking of Dragons setting down on Mars, being refuelled..."

Or he's been talking to Buzz Aldrin (pictured at a SpaceX bash on their website) and believes that there should be no return option for the first colonists - Aldrin's stated view is that “They need to go there more with the psychology of knowing that you are a pioneering settler and you don’t look forward to go back home again after a couple a years”"

Feds indict poker sites, seize domains

Big Al
Joke

Art imitating life

So... fraud, money laundering, illegal gambling...

Bit like Vegas on a bad day then?

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