* Posts by Big Al

314 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Oct 2007

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LOHAN's fantastical flying truss menaces kiddies

Big Al
Thumb Up

Timeless wisdom

The first two paragraphs of this story are timeless wisdom, worthy of printing, framing and placing in a prominent position near the workspace.

Thanks for making my day by proving that I'm not the only person who thinks this way!

Busty blogger bursts Bulgarian airbag in mud-wrestle blunder

Big Al
Trollface

Wait, what?

"Hellqvist is apparently a blogger. That's good enough for us."

I am shocked, *SHOCKED* I tell you, that El Reg has sunk to the level of needing to justify its content in this way, and am deeply disappointed that its esteemed journalists are now pandering to the pedantic in this manner!

An immediate return to the previously high standards enjoyed by your organ should be a priority!

;)

Assange bids for Senate seat

Big Al
Megaphone

Speak up man!

And of course, a Senate position would allow St Julian to preach on any issue of his choice, and pronounce on those organisations, individuals or governments he dislikes for whatever reason, whilst protected by Parliamentary immunity from being either prosecuted or from having to provide actual evidence to back up his statements....

Coincidence? I think not.

Seafaring robots shatter unmanned crossing record

Big Al
Terminator

I for one...

... wish to welcome our new cyberaquatic overlords, who will doubtless be evolving themselves to walk on land etc. real soon now.

Wikileaks regains relevance with Stratfor doc-drop

Big Al
FAIL

So, Wikileaks have now sunk to the level of releasing information that wasn't obtained by someone with lawful access to it... meaning that this is not in fact a LEAK at all, but the publication of deliberately (and probably maliciously) stolen material. How the mighty have fallen - and no wonder the really big publications are apparently not interested in carrying it.

Otherwise:

"Stratfor’s informants are paid either through pre-paid credit cards or via Swiss bank accounts."

Well, how else would you recompense people who might find themselves jailed (or just 'disappeared') for talking to you? Briefcases full of banknotes?

"The aim of the fund was “to use [Stratfor’s] intelligence and analysis to trade in a range of geopolitical instruments” (such as, for example, government bonds)"

So like every other bond trader, they'd attempt to predict whether bonds would be a good investment; the only difference being the range of governmental sources available? This is not at all the same thing as insider trading, unless the documents contain far more than is indicated here.

Teen hacker claims smut site hack

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Wait, what?

People still pay for pr0n?!

IT guy answers daughter's Facebook rant by shooting her laptop

Big Al
Thumb Up

Win!

The whole family, including two teenaged kids, have just been in the living room watching this together.

Nobody was surprised that, having published a foul-mouthed, self-pitying tirade about her family online, the young lady was now facing consequences.

iRobot Warrior-bot goes on sale this Spring

Big Al

I for one...

wish to welcome our new mechanical barrier-forming, window-peeping, explosive-lobbing robowarrior overlords!

Ancient cave girl genome could crack Man's genetic puzzle

Big Al
Boffin

Trending

What?

Make neutral data available to the entire scientific community?

Before publishing your own write ups?

Can't see THAT idea catching on...

Move over cybercrims, DDoS now protesters' weapon of choice

Big Al
Pirate

Circles

So basically DDoS, having started out as something done by folk with a grudge against others (e.g. for comments on IRC or elsewhere), was then picked up and monetised by criminal elements, but has now come back to being a tool of choice for expressing grudges because the tools for doing it (and their ready availability) make it so much easier now.

Ultimately it's all going to encourage governments, ISPs and telcos to find ways to limit or at the very least better monitor what can be done online... thereby offending more people and making it more likely to continue... and thus we go round and round in circles.

Joy.

Czechs, Slovaks stall on ACTA

Big Al
Pint

@ Diziet Sma

"...and nobody is out to scam you"

Back to your GCU please, Prague's taxi drivers are notorious across Europe for their flagrant scamming... and corruption is rampant at all levels of society. With six prime ministers in eight years, it's hardly surprising that nobody's got on top of this yet.

Granted the city has a very low violent crime rate, and is reasonably cheap by Western European standards, and the country has some of the best (and best priced) lagers around :-)

SpaceX successfully tests SuperDraco rescue rockets

Big Al
Boffin

Doing Science

YES.

This is the sort of drive and determination needed if space exploration/exploitation is to move forward at more than a snail's pace.

All such projects are of course inherently dangerous - there will inevitably be setbacks and even deaths for the private sector, just as there have been for government agencies. When they happen, we must not let these be used as an excuse to stifle this kind of work.

Boffin's blog blast births boycott of publisher Elsevier

Big Al
Headmaster

This has been coming for a long time; I work with many academics and scientists, often on texts that are destined for Elsevier publications, and despite the perceived prestige of many of their titles, their business practices are indeed of serious concern to a great many professionals in a range of fields.

This is perhaps a market just waiting for a bold new entrant...

Most EU states sign away internet rights, ratify ACTA treaty

Big Al
Facepalm

"Kader Arif, resigned... saying that the EU was trying to have as little public debate on ACTA as possible, and that right-wing groups were trying to ram it into law with no oversight."

As opposed to most things the EU does, where they have as little public debate as possible and the left wingers try to ram it into law with no oversight?

How shocking.

Flag-waving Lego Canuck soars to 80,000ft

Big Al
Childcatcher

$400...?!

So given the moaning and wailing about "not enough kids doing science", why aren't assorted Ministries of Education encouraging more schools to run projects like this if the budget can be brought down so far?!

Heck, taking a few tin cans around your local shops would probably get most of that together, and it could be a group effort for a class or after-hours school club. Plan, divide up workload, do the calculations, impress the governors/sponsors with the pics/vids afterwards... WIN!

Alcohol DOUBLES LIFESPAN, helps resist stress

Big Al
Go

Old folks

There definitely seems to be a pattern of the latest "world's oldest man/woman" being interviewed and putting their longevity down to things like a daily glass of red wine... so this makes perfect sense to me!

Feds: Apple, Google, Adobe, Intel, Pixar had wage-fixing no-poach pact

Big Al
FAIL

@ Arctic fox

"Rigging the market (whichever type of market we are talking about) is not "civilised behaviour"."

If every company has to be completely paranoid about having its staff poached every time they work with another company, because of the contact between their staffs, they will stop doing so. This will stifle innovation, stifle collaboration, and prevent the spread of standards (because managers won't be willing to allow their staffs to work together on them).

Preventing *any* hiring of others' staff would indeed be a market fixing measure, and is something to stop dead in its tracks. But an agreement not to *ACTIVELY* headhunt others' employees simply makes it easier for companies to work together. That's why they have such agreements - not because they're ueber-capitalists out to grind down the working masses.

Big Al
WTF?

Civilised behaviour

Agreeing not to actively poach (i.e. go after) your rivals' staff is a way to keep things civilised, and stop the relationship between companies nosediving into accusations of bad faith, bad behaviour, outright theft and suchlike.

I honestly cannot see how you can force a company to agree that it WILL seek to poach staff from other companies in its sphere.

But that's a very different thing to saying you will never hire any applicant who comes from a rival company, of course - that would be very underhanded and unfair on workers in the sector concerned.

'Space Monkey' craze: Texan students 'get high' by choking each other

Big Al
Holmes

Criminal Minds

Teens playing a strangulation game involving nooses to achieve a legal high formed the basis of 'Risky Business', Episode 5.13 of the series Criminal Minds - http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1560564/

Civil society NGOs under threat, says Access

Big Al
Black Helicopters

NGOs at risk...

.. are often put there by their accepting the support/funding of foreign national governments whose motives are, shall we say, less than altruistic. Sad but true.

Dole office sticks ID services tender in EU journal, quickly pulls out

Big Al
Trollface

You can tell...

... that the bosses are on holiday, and that someone who actually knows what they're doing has been taking a look at things!

Iran spy drone GPS hijack boasts: Rubbish, say experts

Big Al
FAIL

Let's underestimate the opposition again!

So... By its own admission the US lost a spy drone over Iran.... but continues to make the Iranians out to be technologically incompetent despite their recognised successes in satellite launching, stem cell research etc etc.

Might be good enough for people who don't want to think, but it's not an attitude that will be very helpful going forwards.

US spy drone hijacked with GPS spoof hack, report says

Big Al
Pirate

Easy to forget...

Amid all the propaganda originating on both sides, it's easy to overlook the fact that the Iranians are actually pretty good at doing science, despite (or perhaps because of?) the restrictions placed upon the country.

This is, after all, only the 9th country to get a domestically-built satellite into orbit, makes its own bio-implants, is apparently pretty cued up on stem cell research etc etc etc.... before we consider the talents of their few remaining friends. And being within striking range of nuclear-armed Israel, Pakistan, India, Russia and China, not to mention the USA, it's also no surprise that they have an interest in acquiring a nuclear deterrent of their own.

Underestimating one's (potential or real) enemies because of their perceived cultural, religious or technical inferiority is the classic route to cock-ups like losing this drone, and ultimately to messing up an asymmetric war - as the Israelis found when they wandered into Lebanon last time.

Iran's adversaries need to raise their game if they want to avoid being made to look like idiots again in future.

Cops target climate-sceptic bloggers in three countries

Big Al
Coat

Yep, things are really hotting up for them now!

Okay, okay, mine's the lightweight summer jacket...

Google promises 0.001 of revenue to free the slaves

Big Al
Thumb Up

You're watching...

CNN!

Which has been running an awareness campaign on this issue for much of the year.

Ted Turner will doubtless be delighted that the issue is now getting the attention it deserves :)

Winamp mends trio of old-school security holes

Big Al
Alien

Stopped using Winamp...

... when adverts that wouldn't display for my geographic area stopped me using it to listen to the radio!

Been happily using Foobar since - which explains the icon choice. ;)

Mythbusters cannonball ‘myth-fires’

Big Al
Flame

"The aim of the experiment was, apparently, to measure the velocity they could achieve with their maker-style ordnance."

Result: "a hell of a lot more velocity than we expected"

Toads predict earthquakes: Official

Big Al
Holmes

For the birds

I have personally witnessed birds taking off en masse (and chickens going crazy because they couldn't) just a couple of minutes before an earthquake - also in Italy, as it happens. Earthquake prediction is clearly a science that is still in its infancy ;)

Big Al
Holmes

Birds

Have myself witnessed birds taking off en masse (and the chickens going crazy because they couldn't) just minutes before an earthquake. Not sure if that's ever been explained properly either.

Mexico shuts down drug gang's antennas, radios

Big Al
Holmes

Monster trucks!

The allegedly Zeta armoured Mack dump truck known as “El Monstruo,” found in Tamaulipas state in June 2010, had four cell-signal boosters/repeaters mounted on the mirror brackets - possibly one for each of the four main cellular providers in Mexico. If this was a Zeta network, then, it seems to be a fairly young one...

Quantum computing comes closer as diamonds get spooky

Big Al
Joke

But...

... surely using diamonds is going to put up hardware costs?!

Assange: 'iPhone, BlackBerry, Gmail users - you're all screwed'

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Why so surprised?

"We're seeing increasingly wholesale monitoring of entire populations with no suspicion of wrongdoing – the data is being monitored and stored in the hope that it might one day be useful."

Well YES... what do they think GCHQ and the NRO have been doing all these years?

These are just new methods for the same old thing.

Sad but true.

MPs: This plan for proper navy carriers and jets is crazy!

Big Al

Ref. radar...

What about unmanned aerial vehicles?

Virtually indestructible robostarfish penetrates tiny cracks

Big Al
Alert

I for one...

...wish to welcome our new undulating cyberechinodermic overlords!

Jarmageddon: Marmite spill sparks biohazard threat

Big Al
Thumb Up

My family always accuse me of spreading it thick enough to put on the roads anyway...

Twitter crypto purchase leaves Egypt dissidents in lurch

Big Al
Flame

Sounds like a typical inability to consider the customer/user on the part of a large company to me - whoever made the decision probably didn't even realise the service was being used in Egypt, and probably can't find Egypt on a map, let alone understand its politics.

Randy plods plundered police records just to get a date

Big Al
Childcatcher

"... friends of their daughters"

As someone with a teenaged daughter, I have to admit that I felt a definite burst of empathy when I read that.

I don't condone it, of course, but... can certainly understand it!

US Martian nuke-truck launches without a hitch, but...

Big Al
Joke

Well duh!

Since it's both Yankee and Ruskie space vehicles affected, it's *obviously* some kind of new Chinese ueber-astro-cyberweapon being tested out on the Imperialist running dogs and traitors to socialism...

Either that or the ESA are really desperate to make themselves look good.

Bloke claims ex swiped his sperm to make twins

Big Al
WTF?

Sounds like a CSI:NY plotline lift...

Flinging Facebook insults at Thai monarchy earns fat jail terms

Big Al
Angel

To be fair, in 2005, the King said during his birthday address: ""Actually, I must also be criticized. I am not afraid if the criticism concerns what I do wrong, because then I know.... the King can do wrong.".

Equally, since the Thai Constitution doesn't provide the right for the royal family to defend themselves, they also cannot file charges on their own behalf - and in fact, no member of the Thai royal family has ever done so.

The King has also regularly pardoned those foreigners who have been convicted for lèse majesté - e.g. Oliver Jufer (sentenced March 2007, pardoned April 2007), Harry Nicolaides (Septemeber 2008),

The Thais are currently on the 17th version of their Constitution since 1932, but successive governments have declined to review the clause that says that "The King shall be enthroned in a position of revered worship and shall not be violated. No person shall expose the King to any sort of accusation or action" and that " - including those who drew up the post-coup 2007 Constitution.

One reason for this is that the habit of believing in the divine ancestry of the monarch is quite hard to shake off. It's not just the lawyers and government who get upset by nasty comments about the monarchy - a lot of Thais-in-the-street do, too.

SHARKS tempted by BIKINI CLAD Thanksgiving BABES

Big Al
Facepalm

Accident waiting to happen.

All this fluffy idealism is lovely of course, but when the neighbours' kid gets eaten for trying to pull the same stunt, can his parents sue the guy for encouraging public stupidity and recklessness?

DARPA boffins develop unfeasibly light metal fluff-structure

Big Al
Boffin

@havin_it:

30 St Mary Axe, known as 'The Gherkin' in London, the triangulated perimeter structure of which makes this 40-storey building sway (wind) resistant without any extra reinforcements - and which despite its overall curved shape, doesn't make extensive use of curved glass except at the cap. Small wonder an international survey of major architectural practices in 2006 rated it the "world's most admired new building".

But let's face it, space frame construction - which is what the new material's form seems to be most reminiscent of - was arrived at as early as 1900 by Alexander Graham Bell, before being thought up again by Buckminster Fuller in the 1950s... plenty of examples of that around, try Stansted Airport for a well-known example.

Big Al
Boffin

Modern buildings?

The Eiffel Tower was completed in 1889 and the Golden Gate Bridge in 1937...

Might be time to step out of the research bunker and look around, fellas...

Ghanaian she-devil chews off bloke's 'nad sack

Big Al
Alert

Now that's gotta hurt!

Mars, Moon, solar system could be littered with alien artifacts

Big Al
Alien

Missing the obvious

If they're really *intelligent*, why would they want anything to do us in the first place?

Divorcing couple ordered to share Facebook and dating site logins

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Whut?

Isn't the judge instructing them to breach the terms of the contracts they have entered into with those websites? Or do the sites not have anything about password sharing and shared access in their T&C's?

Paris because she knows all about dating.

Japan develops powered armour suit for nuke workers

Big Al
Terminator

Cyberdyne? Wtf?

This is presumably the same Cyberdyne Systems who will shortly be working on Skynet?

I think we have enough evidence that encouraging them to work on bipedal exoskeletons would be a bad move... (see illustration).

Gallery mulls 'damage' after cleaner scrubs modern art

Big Al
Unhappy

There's always...

...a critic, isn't there?

Kaspersky defends 'unworkable' web passports

Big Al
Boffin

So who...

... would be managing the necessary database(s) of Internet users?

Surely not governments, who famously can't keep hold of data?

Or major corporations, who famously want it for their own commercial ends?

Or idealistic IT types, who have trouble even on agreeing what kind of domain suffixes should be allowed?

So... who?

And even if we can understand who, how would THEY be secured, why should we trust them, and how (and by whom) would they be selected?

SSL authority stops issuing certificates following breach

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Compulsion

"And with some of the authorities residing in countries such as China, it's not a stretch to imagine them being compelled to issue fraudulent certificates."

Pretty much any government with a need/desire to do this will find a way of doing so, I would have thought...

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