* Posts by Chronos

1211 posts • joined 21 Oct 2007


Linus Torvalds tells kernel list poster to 'SHUT THE HELL UP' for saying COVID-19 vaccines create 'new humanoid race'


On days like this we need Old Linus back - after he's explained messenger RNA in a calm, scientific manner and questioned exactly what "the illuminati" want us producing a spike protein for, of course. Perhaps he could delegate taking down clowns to mjg59? He's another one with a pretty good record of not suffering fools at all.

Had my first AZ jab last month. If I grew another head or changed any of my opinions (sorry to disappoint) it was for a very short time. AdBlock is still there in the top right, I still won't let anything I haven't compiled myself on a router and I still enjoy cancelled 1970s BBC sitcoms.

Maybe it was a bad batch...

ASUS baffles customer by telling them thermal pad thickness is proprietary


It's not the implement, it's knowing where to hit it - usually just above the second cervical vertebra is a good choice.

Oh, you meant tech. Try gently reseating the VRMs (greybeard Proliant people are now back on the Valium - sorry for the trigger)

So what if I pay peanuts for my home broadband? I demand you fix it NOW!



Temporary Inability To Stream Unlimited Pr0n. Nobody gets hysterical due to the lack of Meetings That Should Have Been E-Mails. You're fooling nobody, Dabbsy :-)

BOFH: Postman BOFH's Special Delivery Service


Re: Dump-and-run

sed -e 's/Herm/Herp/'



All you really need is the acronym "NSR:" No signature required. It may even end up in the general vicinity, certainly the right county, of the boss' address. "Leave in shed which will be open" is ambiguous enough to get it delivered somewhere.

You know, this may well be the solution to e-waste. Every courier company in the country with a section of Dexion racking for holding boxes filled with Lexmark printers that never made it past the supplied cartridges, APC UPSen that have cooked their batteries (again) and old DLT drives.

We finally get to spot a burnt-out comet and what is it covered in? Talcum powder


Utterly wrong

It's an alien gummy milk bottle covered in that powdery flour they use to stop 'em sticking together. Even aliens drop them behind the couch of their flying saucer control centre once in a while.

The real threat to the Sol system is the Andromedan Hard Gum. The black ones are made of dark matter...

Yep, the 'Who owns Linux?' case is back from the dead


Re: What?

Context, sir. Quantum mechanics, by its very nature or lack thereof, suspends the usual norms including those of when to apply the clue-bat.

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Re: My favorite screw-up

The best entertainment someone else's money could buy at the time. That was a howler, especially given that 4.4BSD-Lite had already been through its own SCO moment, albeit rather more seriously given the Deathstar's power, and was specifically tailored to nullify this sort of challenge. Thanks for reminding me. I needed a chuckle today.


Re: What?

I doubt it. Just load up the old site in the Wayback machine and sync it to the start of the case. As idiocy is defined as trying to do the same thing the same way and expecting a different outcome, I fully expect the transcripts to be very, very close.

Yet it could provide some entertainment for those who missed the last round of fuckwittery. errno.h, anyone? Because of course you'd reinvent the wheel and completely fsck up error parsing on a POSIX-compliant operating system running cross-platform code, wouldn't you?

What happens when back-flipping futuristic robot technology meets capitalism? Yeah, it’s warehouse work


Re: There's a few things....

Consider the boxes the likes of a certain well-known hardware vendor uses; you know the ones, mahoosive 3 acre box with three dozen #6 screws in it. Those boxes are put together by a machine with a sliver of hot glue and a prayer. Lift those by the lid and the whole shebang falls to bits. Actually, if the little packet of #6 screws ever nudges the lid, all bets are off.

Whoda thunk? Automation screws up automation. I suppose "not my department" transfers as seamlessly across botspace as it does fleshtube...

Move aside, Technoking: All hail the Sweat Master and his many inspirational job titles


Re: Uptitling

You forgot:

Whipping boy --> Customer Service Specialist

Hacking is not a crime – and the media should stop using 'hacker' as a pejorative


Re: Barn doors

That's an argument for the proposal. In this context, the "hack" is a useful shortcut or novel way of doing something to achieve a desired end. That, to my mind, is evolution of the original definition.

helloSystem: Pre-alpha FreeBSD project chases simplicity and elegance by taking cues from macOS


Re: Further simplicity and ease of use...

Ooh, rose gold Samsung? Suits you, sir!



NEXTStep, Mach microkernel and BSD userland. CUPS was never strictly Linux, nor was Webkit. Darwin, the underlying glue behind MacOS, is closer to FreeBSD than Linux, licensing being the motivation; it all depends on your definition of "free" as, for some of us - Cupertino included it would seem, having to release your mods as source isn't freedom at all.

Meh, whatevs, ancient history.

* Long-time *BSD user, jumped ship to De[bi|vu]an when the project became infested with divas.

Looking for the perfect Valentine's gift? How about a week of retro gaming BBC Microlympics?



Bloody geese.

Nothing new since the microwave: Let's get those home tech inventors cooking


Oh dear!

Why do we say this every time after a good belly laugh?

Thank you, Mr Dabbs. The sweary bit made my day. I suppose I'm easily amused but, having heard the story of a 70cms repeater that was shut down because the numpties at Winter Hill couldn't unlock their cars with the keyfob (what the fuck is wrong with using the key, anyway?) I have to admit a physical switch, button, key, handle or plain old analogue hammer of last resort beats tech every sodding time.

Linus Torvalds rates his own words 'incoherent ramblings of a crazy old man'


Exactly what is needed.

Linus is doing an exceptional job, let's not fool ourselves. The "problem" he has is honesty. That will ruffle feathers when he's outwardly honest but it also means he's capable of not taking himself too seriously and can backtrack and correct without worrying about "PR".

Let's not be too quick to ridicule this as it's something from which a few people in real positions of power could take notes.

Brexit freezes 81,000 UK-registered .eu domains – and you've all got three months to get them back


While it does seem to fly in the face of established practice...

...I can't remember the last time, outside of trawling (sorry) through Europa.eu for some obscure tract of text, that I actually visited a dotEU URL. The "issue" seems to be a twmpath twrch daear masquerading as a mynydd.

BOFH: Time for the MMOCC. You know, the Massively Moronic Online Christmas Call


Re: "We've signed up to a multi-presence company”

That's impossible. What you really want is, for example, the latest remotely installed unicorn fart (Teams, I'm looking at you here) not autostarting on everyone's desktop on Monday morning, resulting in not only a glacial roaming profile share but more support calls than directory enquiries in the 80s.

Also, which bellend thought piping Chrome's ghastly notifications to the notification area in Windows 10 was a good idea? Once that thing activates, it takes focus from anything and everything else. Bastards. The OS's job is to launch useful things and then stay the hell out of the way.

Yes, as you can probably tell, I spent a good two hours running around the depot disabling Teams that day. At least its icon is purple, a tip of the hat to Bonzi Buddy, no doubt.

Running joke: That fitness gadget? It's, er, run out


As a complete aside...

...that facial fungus you're sporting, Dabbsy, is now known as the Cypher, from the Matrix character of that name. And you're a dead-ringer.

Now, try GadgetBridge and never buy any form of fitness tracker¹ that isn't compatible with it, should a piece of idle silicon with a few electrons flowing through its doped bits telling you you're a lazy, balding, obese git like me be your particular vessel buoyancy. Me? The mirror tells me ever day. I need no electronic reminder :-P

¹ The origninal AmazFit Bip was ideal for this before they ruined it by insisting you use their app to pair the bloody things, even if there is a way to extract the pairing key for GB

Worn-out NAND flash blamed for Tesla vehicle gremlins, such as rearview cam failures and silenced audio alerts

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Re: So a car with the price of a Tesla

It's an 8Gb(it) NAND flash, so the same memory used in, e.g. 2000's mass-produced landfill Android tablets. At least when those crash, nobody dies.


EMMC wearing out?

What the giddy frig are they storing? GPS tracks? Or is it that there's a software upgrade every time some intern at Tesla moves their mouse?

America's largest radio telescope close to collapse as engineers race to fix fraying cables


Arsenoise is lacking in so many ways, yet I doubt he even knows Arecibo exists. For one thing, he'd have to understand that the word "telescope" doesn't necessarily mean a long tube with lenses in it, parrot, cutlass and eyepatch optional...

Neglect, pure and simple. Any competent metallurgist will take one glance at that picture and declare expansion and friction assisted metal fatigue in a nanosecond¹. This is a compound failure, recognised with the benefit of hindsight, to allocate resources over more than half a century. Hanlon's Razor applies.

¹ The various wires in those cables expand and contract at different rates as they heat and cool by layers. It's not much movement but, given 57 years, it all adds up. At this point, replacement is needed as the visible effects mean the invisible damage is already past the point of no return.

Voyager 2 is back online after eight months of radio silence


Re: DSN Now

It jumped the shark and ended up docked on the Worf...

Oculus owners told not only to get Facebook accounts, purchases will be wiped if they ever leave social network


Re: "Citizens should have struck first against the Corporates"

A cow-orker of mine has just bought a Quest II. I laughed a little when he said "I had to sign up to Facebook" and then it struck me just how many people are being suckered into the clutches of the data fetishists with promises of "shiny." That, and just how green around the gills he looked after playing with it for hours the night before with the disagreement between visual cortex and inner ear still raging...

By the time an open source solution arrives it'll be too late. The masses will already be hooked on - and quite possibly hypnotised by - the commercial loss-leader offerings.

MediaTek's Snapdragon-7-bothering 5G eight-core Arm chip for modest mobes jets into Europe this month



I'm sorry but there's a very good reason Qualcomm are the market leaders: Mediatek is just so half-arsed. If the GPS will lock without phoning home to some god-awful Chinese SUPL server, something else will be broken to the point of uselessness. Couple that with the usual bean-counter engineering, half-arsed bootloaders that brick if you look at them a bit funny and cobbled-together kernels in devices that use this dross and you have landfill mobiles aplenty.

Avoid like the plague.

Windows to become emulation layer atop Linux kernel, predicts Eric Raymond


Re: Opposite will happen

...in a locked filing cabinet in a disused lavatory with "Beware of the leopard" on the door?


Re: Lots of "OMG teh M$..."

Well put. Your ellipsis at the end may be an extrapolation too far but the point bears consideration.

Aside: 100% Devuan shop here - the infected Pi wasn't mine, my Pi is a Devuan box running the PiHole and Wireguard gateway.


Lots of "OMG teh M$..."

...but very few of you are remembering the key take-away point from this: ESR is bat-shit crazy. Always has been, always will be. The chances of Linus or Greg allowing MS to Borgify the kernel is about the same as me winning the lottery.

The only grain of concern is people like Poettering who are already in an MS mindset and forgetting the "do one thing, do it well" mantra. Systemd may as well have been an MS designed-by-committee product. It has all the hallmarks. I rebooted a Pi last night with "systemctl reboot" and it felt dirty.

Toshiba formally and finally exits laptop business


Re: Variable quality

Satellites were Compal rebadges. If you want a proper Tosh, they're all powered with a 15V adaptor. If it's 19V, it's a Compal generic which, as you noticed, are crap.



First IBM's excellent ThinkPads, now Tosh and the Tecra line. We're left with HP's "Elite" books which are, to put it bluntly, crap.

Do they still make Panasonic Toughbooks?

My life as a criminal cookie clearer: Register vulture writes Chrome extension, realizes it probably breaks US law



Thomas Claburn in San Francisco

That, right there, is your problem.

Only EU can help us, pleads Slack as it slings competition complaint against Microsoft Teams


All this fuss

...and it's really just blinged-up IRC. They'll be flinging sueballs at anyone using four twisted pairs in a PVC jacket if someone doesn't slap these numpties with a cluebat poste-haste.

Mozilla unveils $4.99/month subscription-based VPN, says it won't hang onto user logs



Mullvad: Raspberry Pi 3B, PiHole and WireGuard in the kernel. Full wire speed minus the usual overheads through Mullvad. Same price, 5 devices, Linux, Windows, Android, MacOS/iOS and OpenWRT configurations/apps supported, totally privacy focussed.

I like Mozilla, I really do, but they're going to have to be a lot more transparent with the likes of, e.g. Safebrowsing before I'd trust them with a VPN solution.

VirtuaVerse: Cyberpunk point-and-click throwback with ace chiptune soundtrack put out by... a metal record label?


Re: In fact, I found it straight-up annoying to read

The quote is from the part following Case' neural regen treatment as the author points out. Gibson's Sprawl trilogy takes a while to absorb and that quote sets the scene for the later Peter and the holo-Molly lightshow on Freeside that so enrages Molly and catalyses the encounter with the Turing Police as Case tries to locate her. Gibson's "purple prose" paints a picture in the mind's eye, not that there's anything wrong with disliking it. It's a Marmite thing.

Former Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman calls on UK govt to legally protect data from contact-tracing apps


Oh what a tangled web we weave!

A fine change of tune from Labour after clamouring for years for every scrap of information on the general populace they could possibly get their grubby little hands on. Admittedly, Harperson wasn't in the forefront of the data fetishists but she rarely spoke up against the likes of Smith and Burnham.

Trust == 0; You burnt all those bridges during the NuLabour years and we're now all too well aware of the dangers of letting even a trusted government amass information as the regime could change in a heartbeat. In short, too little, too late and your pious bleating in favour of libertarianism now rings hollow.

Can you imagine the fall-out of Wurzel Corbyn with the power of GCHQ at his disposal? Cripes!

As for the contact tracing app, it's doomed to failure anyway. Remember those ticky-box forms about why spam control measures were utterly useless from days of yore? That.

"Your solution relies on a) everyone acting in the same way at the same time b) why should we trust you anyway?"

"Furthermore, this is what I think of you:" I dare not tick any of these given the woke thought police climate.

Huge if true... Trump explodes as he learns open source could erode China tech ban


It's funny...

...because it's plausible. And not one single mention of intravenous Domestos to get there, either.

Is the SATIRE sauce open? Slather my dinner with it immediately.

As coronavirus catches tech CEOs with their pants down, IBM's Ginni Rometty warns of IT's new role post-pandemic



If you think anything will change long-term because of this virus, think again. The system we have now is one of human nature which has evolved from innate greed and the desire to get as much of the pie for as little of the effort as possible. Ms Rometty may be spouting a few sound-bites but sod all of any substance. The only thing this virus will affect is the imbalance: The gulf will widen between those who actually do productive tasks and those who sit on their arses skimming off the cream. The only place middle manglers are going is up, promoted out of harm's way.

Before you go off thinking I'm some sort of militant socialist, I'm actually a libertarian¹ and I include the bloody unions in this formula.

¹ i.e. that one should be able to forge one's own path without let or hindrance within reason, which includes not having the vast majority of your productivity syphoned away by lazy arseholes.

BT suspends shareholder payments as folk forgo pricey sports TV deals for matches that won't happen anyway


Oh blimey!

...as Rangi Ram would say. This Covid thingummy is tentacling its way into all manner of lucrative bollocks, isn't it? Oh dear, how sad, never mind, as BSM Williams would have replied.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you



They're a order of magnitude or three bigger since they pinched DR-DOS but you still need a magnifying glass to see their contribution to general purpose computing, unless it's the interminable wait for "Windows Updates" (Evergreen needs to die in a fire) and then the downtime in man-hours can probably be seen from space. Most of their "innovations," including that of the current business model of "data data everywhere" have been begged, borrowed or outright stolen from other innovators. There's a thought: The Borg. Your stuff will be assimilated.

It is often quipped that should Microsoft ever make a vacuum cleaner it would be the only thing that didn't suck. This is probably a bit unfair; their hardware is generally, excluding the RROD X Boxen, quite good quality, especially their input peripherals. Not a patch on a decent Cherry brown or Model M, of course...

Sun shines on ServiceNow amid pandemic storm after belated spree of $1m+ deals



I have to use this morass of awfulness. Slow queries, page refresh on auto-assign, lookups like wading through treacle and its documentation is akin to the statement issued, i.e. full of marketweasel-speak.

Believe me, this is not good news.

Samsung says it has the future of DRAM sorted after success with new EUV process


Oh goody!

Another new standard which means it'll be motherboard, CPU and RAM replaced and the old stuff just binned. Whoopty-doo!

Taiwan collars coronavirus quarantine scofflaws with smartphone geo-fences. So, which nation will be next?


What about...

Those of us who aren't slavishly attached to our 'phones? You know, the few people who can go out and not be bothered at all by not being in immediate, incessant and aggravating contact with the rest of humanity? There are those of us who don't feel the need to FaceGram our lunch or check the messaging app every three seconds in case our latest faddy "influencer" farted another rainbow.

Please, won't somebody think of the Luddites? :-)

European electric vehicle sales surged in Q4 2019 but only accounted for wafer-thin slice of total car purchases


The point

Everyone is fixated on range (which changes as the car ages) and initial purchase cost.

The real point of this cynical exercise in Being Seen To Be Doing Somthing™ Gretaism is ongoing cost, that of replacing the cell pack when it fills with rocks and stopping your goolies catching fire when the battery does. Ecological it ain't (the batteries die just about the time you break even on ecological cost of manufacture) and it's an awful lot of faff.


Re: Still not convinced

So no stupid stop-start nonsense, then? Where do I sign up?

Hey, friends. We know it's a crazy time for the economy, but don't forget to enable 2FA for payments by Saturday


Government quango Action Fraud is the UK's central referral point for online crime. But it ref is about as much use as a condom vending machine in St Paul's Basilica.

If it's Goodenough for me, it's Goodenough for you: Canuck utility biz goes all in on solid-state glass battery boffinry

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If this is true, it will destroy completely my aversion for electric vehicles. One thing: What's the projected energy density? Is it comparable to Li-ion?

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband


Re: This won't be

Sausage and eggs, I believe. Or was that hiding the sausage in Eggwina? My recollection is vague...


Never mind the tea towel or the fibre

It's those hand "dryers" that need to die a death. Bloody things. We have them in our bogs and they're akin to being coughed at by a moth with cystic fibrosis - when the damned things deign to turn on at all. All in the name of hygiene, which is to say your immune system never gets any bloody target practice.

Then they wonder why we keep getting diseases. Tossers and beigists, the lot of them.

That said, who remembers the old Initial towel machines? Guaranteed to need three pulls to get the bugger to move and the loop was just big enough for one fingernail...

Yo, Imma let you finish, but for the 6,000 people still using that app on a daily basis ... we have a question: why?


It cod be, or it could be total pollocks.



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