Posts by Mark C

Microsoft arms half-wit developers with PHP handgun

Irk The Purists

The point of Ted is to wind some people up and make others laugh. Seems to be doing a grand job .....

O2 inked as UK's official Pré distributor

Fuckwits

Dear Palm,

I wanted a Pre but you seem to be tying it to a specific network.

Goodbye,

Mark

Danger Mouse seems to want fans to pirate his blocked release

@Oh Crumbs

Was DM really smaller than Inch High Private Eye?

Back on topic.... what are EMI playing at?

Kanye West doesn't have a f***ing Twitter, OK?

Always thought he was a tosser

but he's just gone up in my estimation .... top rant!

(still a gay fish, obviously)

UK.gov denies 'Google tax' plan

surplus?

How can there be a surplus when they haven't finished yet? Any chance that the money could go to upgrading the Sudbury transmitter now rather than whenever the hell they're going to get round to it?

Moon Macrosystems - How to build a better Sun

Enjoyed It

Silly logo made me smile but the rest of the article is food for thought.

California: Cisco gives out some details, finally

@48 DIMM Slots

Yep - we got the same here

Apple restyles iPod Shuffle

Dumb

I'll stick to my 2G one - clips fine to my running kit and lets me use decent sports headphones.

I'm not a great Apple Fan (the 2G shuffle is all I have of theirs) but even I'm astounded at this stupidity.

Conspiracy theories fly around Norton forum 'Pifts' purge

@Alacrity

Too late ... looks like others had already taken off

Obama taps Google cloud lover as America's first CIO

OFFS ....

Two comments in and we're wildly off topic ... well done lads!

Contractors risk mini-Microsoft-protest

Plenty would take the cut

Just taken a 8% cut myself (not from MS) .... seemed better than the alternative.

It happens ....

El Reg suffers identity crisis

Unethical

I've gone for Unethical .... that's the mother of compliments from Phorm

Sirius XM gets 11th-hour $530m loan

Has the world gone completely barking?

Half a billion dollar loan to a Radio service?

Facebook downplays eternal user data grab

Long Gone

Thanks, but I collected my coat ages ago .....

Deleted my FB account last year - it added precisely no value to my life other than seeing how often my daughter (who is old enought to know better - I blame the parents) was doing things I didn't really want to know about.

Sun will Rock in 2009

@Tim H and Pony Bot

Tim ... we're happy with the Niagara stuff here but a decent legacy solution for Solaris 8 and 9 would be handy - the whole Brandz and container\zone thing is just a PITA. Got a load of V-series kit in store so it's not too bad for us.

AC\Pony Boy - WTF? We have a lot of HP-UX as well and the future looks a damn sight less clever for Itanium and PA-RISC. HP Seem to be betting on Linux so they can shift BL blades but, frankly, we can get x86 stuff from anyone we choose.

Apple gets censory on iBoobs'... ass

YouTube sign-in

When did this start? I have no great urge to look at filth (honest) but signing in to see this? Goodbye youtube .... for me at least.

Apple wants to swipe your iPhone

@AC re prior art-tards

But the Newton was hardly first either. Have a look at http://users.erols.com/rwservices/biblio.html ...

The points of the other posts are mostly around the stupidity of the US patent system .... who care's if this "new patent" is finger based .... it's not really new just because they've changed the pointing device.

Paris - because even she can think of an alternative pointing device

The Year in Operating Systems: No battle of big ideas

A good round up but .....

Oh Ess Ecks ?

Brit ISPs censor Wikipedia over 'child porn' album cover

Is it me?

I actually find the replacement cover far more offensive. Hairy german men .... one seemingly offering a good fisting.

Mine's the black leather one with studs

Google torches own brand Sadville

@Kenny M

I'm happy with the phrase "current economic clusterfuck" .... seems to sum up where we are fairly accurately.

Brit couple divorce over Sadville infidelity

(untitled)

Read the article without noticing the link. Read the comments and went back and found the link .... cheers guys .... laughed like a drain.

I'm not sure there is anything sadder than only being able to get the Metro interested in your sad story about your sad lives.

Right: Which one of you lot invented 'tw*tdangle', eh?

It's a living language

We all (the collective hive mind) invented it .... T-shirts all round!

G1 Android launch pictures leaked?

Oh look ... another telephone

Why do people care?

Mario and Eee PC Girl bust Best Buy profits

Oh you probably came for this

Obviously

Cloned US ATM cards: Can they fool Brit self-service checkouts?

@Lee

I use self-service because:

a) There is usually one free so I know I won't be queuing behind some arse that doesn't think to look for purse\wallet until asked for payment and then remembers they've got 37 different vouchers they want to use

b) you get a plastic bag to put things in without having to ask

c) I fancy the bird at my local Tesco who has the job of pressing the "he looks over 18" button whenever I run some Merlot through the system .... which is often

Internet Explorer - now with 35% less FAIL

Good to see .....

the "cock gagging" story again ..... and the tone of the article was spot on

Philippine troops battle rampaging MILFs

Re-enactment ....

Surely this story needs a full Playmobile re-enactment for our delight on Friday .... get to it El Reg.

BT seals free Digital Vault

@ZModem

300 milli-bits? Are you sure?

Mones the one with the Rough Guide To Pedantry in the pocket,

Agency sues to stop Defcon speakers from revealing gaping holes

ridership

I know there are important issues at stake here but "ridership"? Did I have to be forced to see such a horrible word .... yours, cancelling subscription etc

Morgan shows 'light & slippery' fuel-cell car concept

@ Graham Lockley

Abso-bloody-lutely .... nail on head there, sir.

iPhone 3G to lure pre-payers to contracts - survey

Statistics

Based on my survey (sample of 1 = Mike Sullivan) I can now reveal that 100% of men have a wife with a statistics degree.

Which is about as useful\accurate as this reprint of marketing propoganda is.

<-- get's 66% of coat and leaves

AMD mugs Intel in backstreets of Paris

@Farfel MacNoogen

You bastard ... that's me comprehensively nailed

Canonical rejiggers Ubuntu for laptots

Fix this .... before we're all rounded up

I can't help thinking I'm in real trouble for reading an article with the word "laptot" in ....

RIAA abandons iTuneski suit

Yawn ....

That's all .... bored bored bored with this ....

'F**k the Country Channel', says the Country Channel

@ashley

Sadly that's how the real world works ..... they get it to work with IE and cookies on and 98% of "real" people don't notice it's fsck'd for the rest of us.

There really is a very limted group of people in the union set of shotgun owners (fuck the ban and all that) and linux freaks ..... and I'm one

Bush tests Castro with mobile phone gift barrage

@Ivan

Nope .... Basic is a piss poor language that thinks GOTO is a good thing. Toaters's are cool .....

Yep - that's mine over there with Nikluas Wirth's signature on the back

Welsh Darth Vader dodges jail

Note from Pedants Corner

10 Litres = 17.6 pints ... still plenty enough to kill anything other than a wookie.

Yep, that's mine ... slide rule in the long pocket

The battle of Lesbos: Exclusive combat pic

@Pete

Yeah .... plus one for that. Just got a new monitor so I need some 1920x1200 Playmobile Wallpaper.

GTA IV PS3 fights off resolution woes in the UK

@Graham Lockley

Abso-bloody-lutely .... this is tedious bollocks that got dull many many years ago

MS pulls plugs on XP SP3 mass launch

No problem for me ...

I'm still deciding whether I really need to upgrade from OS/2 2.1 to Warp.

Yes - that's it. The anorak with the pockets full of floppy disks

Dell readies Asus Eee PC, HP Mini-Note rival

@Paul & Ash

Thanks for that - I hadn't noticed that the lady had an arm or a face .... was way to focused elsewhere ....

Galaxy's smallest known black hole discovered

They're not trying very hard

It has a diameter of just 15 miles .... surely Basildon is smaller?

No love - mines the donkey jacket with the XR3 keys in ...

Get your German interior minister's fingerprint here

@Ken Baker

Arse prints? No good for me .... gets photocopied and pinned to the message board every christmas ....

Rackable kicks Xeon 7000 chips into fresh, beefy server

Re: Storage

Surely with a box like this you'd only use local storage for OS and bung in some HBAs and grab all of the rest of your storage off of a NetApp\EMC\Whatever SAN

Sun pulls MySQL into its orbit

No change ....

This makes no real difference to me as a MySQL user\implementor ... I can download it and use it for free and where I've put it in a client site and need some support then I can pay for it.

They seem to have paid way over the odds but that ain't a first.

Celeb spills beans on new Apple notebook

Oh Well

Well done chaps .... 14 posts in before it descended into Apple vs Windows bollocks ..... kindly all go away - most of us just don't care.

El Reg's festive top 10

Way to finish the year, El Reg ...

Number 2 slot indeed .....

Racist Reg ignores Nigerian helicopter pioneer

@ Wookieman

I may have misjudged Bit Fiddler but I fear you've just missed a joke .... of sorts

The first rule of Reg Club is...

Following Rule 8

It's 3 o'clock on Friday .... grab's coat and heads for boozer