* Posts by Fozzy

27 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

American LaFrance blames IBM for bankruptcy



Anyone that was had dealings with IBM before know how well they document everything, including impromptu phone calls. unless they had an inexperienced project manager on this job I would be very surprised that IBM are at fault on this. Oh well live and learn

The 'blem wit' error messages



For me the best was the Amiga

"Guru Mediation Error"

I always pictured an overweight monk deep in mediation suddenly farting.

Three Little Pigs book deemed offensive to Muslims

Black Helicopters


I am surprised they haven't gone further and banned the rest of the old childrens stories, because seriously where else could you read about, paganism, murder, cruelty in all it's forms, random acts of violence, the seven deadly sins, cannabalism, and slavery

You get all this is the bible stories for children too, with eternal damnation thrown in for free

Man you can't beat the classics can you

Tom Cruise Scientology vid leaks onto net


Scientology and World Peace/Unity

Cruise keeps reminding us that Scientology is the only religion which will be able to bring about world peace/Unity.

I would say on that point that he is somehwat correct. Though not through the application of his religion, mainly through all the other religions and in fact anyone with a margin of cognitive function standing together pointing at him and saying

"Dude your seriously f*cked in the head"

World's Dumbest File-sharer megafine gets DoJ thumbs-up

Dead Vulture

seriously pisses me off

Did she do something wrong. YES! Should she receive an appropriate punishment, Yes. Did she , NO. Where in the hell does the law now have the power to punish you for the possible actions of others. I must be missiing something here or otherwise it might just be paraniod thinking that the ARIAA are putting polotical pressure where needed to get the results they are after.

Looking at the punishments that seem to limp out of the court rooms for serious assaults and alike it you are better off breaking someone jaw, stealing a car, or setting fire to something, Hell drive 30Km over the speed limit in a school zone with no licence and the fines still don't stack up to ripping off one song based on that judgement

They say Lustice is supposed to be blind, it's not only blind it's a fucking retard

Paris and Britney top US kids' Santa naughty list

Paris Hilton

thank $Diety$

I thought I was the only sick preverted and twisted individual who did a double take on this line

"Regarding just how to impress Santa into discharging his sack in your bedroom, the young"

Particularly as I thought of Spears or hilton as being dressed (or down) as Saint knickerless

Turkey probes The God Delusion for 'insulting religion'


Pointless argument

I was always told that when in polite company never discuss, sex, politics or religion. I asked why and my dad quietly told me (out of earshot of my mum) because with any of these three you get a bunch of freaks,fanatics and fuckwits. Because if you do it right, or wrong, with any of these you will come out of it dirty, embarrassed and in need of a hot shower and a stiff drink.

Think about it ........

Charlie Sheen in upside-down iPhone outrage


This story is about what?

Sorry got distracted, didn't realise the story or the comments were about a phone. I was concentrating on the blonde and figuring out how low that low cut dress of hers went.

Canadian Taser death caught on camera


Plastic fanastics

What the fuck is it with cops around the world nowadays. Shoot first ask, sorry, answer the tribunals questions later. What the hell ever happened to trying to communicate with people. Sure in this instance there was a language barrier, but there are always ways around that. Being a cop for 10 years and having to deal with all sorts of people, from those with mental disabilities to the truly deranged not once have I needed to escalate the use of potentially lethal force.

A cop is to ensure the safety of the public, the person and themselves. Whilst the cops were there , unless he was doing something immediately dangerous contain him and the situation until you are able to communicate effectively with him. Moving chairs and tables, distrubing yes, dangerous no. Any cop who is willing to jump into a situation and start using force without assessing the situation should be stripped of their weapons first and their badge second.

It certainly appears that many of the cops nowadays also would like to interpret the use of the taser and cap spray differently. Particularly in the case of tasers these are typically only used in which the officer seriously beleives that either himself or another member of the public is imminently about to suffer serious injury or death. IN other words the taser is used instead of the firearm. Can they honestly answer that serious injuury or death was imminent.


Crime-busting gator kills Florida fugitive


Australian Salt Water crocs

The US 'grators have some catching up to do. Our Salt Water crocs have been the most effective tool in keeping the German and US tourist population in check for decades

In most cases we don't destroy the crocs, just relocate them to other problem areas. Only wish that included withe various gaols around the country

US man blasts stubborn wheelnut with shotgun



I was going to suggest a better headline such as

"Gun nut shots gun at nut and left nut has near miss"

I was even going to have a another jab at the Yanks and guns.

I was even going to suggest the idiot had the gun pointed the wrong way

But I think we all know that the 66 yr old was in fact Dick cheney on the piss and he mistook the wheelnut for a quail or whittingtons head again. In which case all the above, i guess, still apply <sigh>

Don't give booze to elephants, sobs Paris Hilton


Bollywood -v- Hollywood

Hollywood has the stars of Lost drunk and rampaging around the streets terrorising the locals and Bollywood has the elephants. I'm not sure which is more terrifying. We do need to which figure out which group would cause the most caranage though. Is there a E - reg unit of measurement for this. I think we need one

Chinese boffins in copper nanotubes acronym outrage

Paris Hilton

I think

We have a new vulture unit of measurement.

Mum sends stripper to teenage son's school


I should entire story

To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned - and when the cream came out she told the stripper 'That's it. That's enough'."

<give me a couple of minutes and I'll be right to go again/>

Topless Liverpudlians confined to tropical fish stores


Good 'ole OZ

It was a tradition for law students in their last year of studies at Uni of Sydney to find the most absurd law and expliot it. Hence in the early 1970's the main highway leading into Sydney CBD came to a grinding halt as dozens of sheep were herded down a 5km stretch of the highway (this highway had been designated as a stock route in the early 1900's it had priority over all other traffic and was never repealed )

To my knowledge it is still legal to shoot magpies in suburban areas, though only in spring.

Police dismantle global child porn network


@Ulm Schulbaum


Are you seriously suggesting that Child Porn rings should be allowed to operate and grow unchecked. Are you suggesting that police forces across the globe should set aside investigations into child porn, murder, extortion and other voilent crime and concentrate their efforts on preventing those needless deaths.Your arguments for this should make for entertaining reading.

Your either a troll or an idiot. Personally I think your both

Oz 'Family First' candidate sacked for todger-flash email

Paris Hilton


Nothing like an election to start airing the dirty laundry. If only I could get a copy of reverend Fred Nile Iweb cache I could prove he is a regular vistor of NastyNuns.com. It would get rid of another annoying political member (pun intended).

Also could we enlist paris hilton to "corrupt" the rest of the politicians, except for the guy, or girl, that stands up and says "yep, we did it, want to see the video"

Aliens responsible for Italian machine uprising


@ AmanfromMars

"We are not saying that little green men from Mars started the fires"

Have you been touring the Italian countryside recently?

Paris Hilton

Paris angle

After having to postpone her Humanitarian mission to Rwanda, Paris will be making her way to this poor village to offer her support to these suffering people. As a bonus she will also be taping a new session of "A simple Life" - "My life among the pasta eating pagans"

Reg Standards Soviet defines temperature and force



So when will we be petitioning the International Bereau of Weights and Measures for these to be ofically recognised units

Man who urinated on dying woman for YouTube glory jailed


Summary Justice

Whilst my faith in the justice system evaporated years ago, my faith in the justice system within prisons has not.

He will be treated just like every other rapist or kiddie toucher that enters the prison. He is a marked and hunted man ( term used very loosely). He maybe separated from the general prison population, but there are times when they are mixed together (meal, shower and exercise), so every minute of every day until his release he is basically going to be in fear of his life, not to mention his gentials and facial features.

Ironic isn't it that we now have to put our faith in the criminals we have locked up to mete out the punishment this arsehole so richly deserves

BOFH: A foray into HR


Hazy memories

Man that brings back memories,, hazy, and some that have been lost completely. I had one interview which was at the local pub. I was going for a position in a different section, the manager booked the time and upon duly arriving told me he had changed the venue. 5 mins later we were at the local. 6 hours later ( i think drunk gravity was involoved) I stumble my way home. Turning up to work the next day looking like something the dog had dug up and dragged in, the manager found me at my station dropping aspirin and caffeine is equal amounts. He told me later that day I got the position. I found out later that he would where possible use that as a interviewing technique. Firstly, he didn't trust a man that didn't drink and secondly if your out on the turps and working the next day, still turning up regardless if your pushing the medical definition of alcohol poisoning ( Apparently showed character and a willingness to get the job done).

Good days ( I think)

Record industry pushes ISPs to cut off file sharers


History repeating itself

This latest battle against the internet community will ultimately fail. They always do. Period. Look back through history on any of these crusades started either by the government or big business in attempting to control some aspect of the intermet, it's content or the people using it. They have all failed. Why? Because we, the internet community, are smarter, more dynamic and more adaptable than they can ever be. Their arguments are always inherently flawed, their solutions are also backwards and flawed..

Copy protection, how long did that take to crack?

CD copy protection how long did that take to work around?

Governments in the early days scanning emails for key words, how long did that take to screw them over?

Pfffft. Whatever the music industry tries to impose on the community will be squashed in a very short period of time. There will, of course, be the few high profile cases of individuals being charged. The usual rhetoric on how evil and insideous these crimes are and then the balance will be restored again. They will then be nashing their teeth together in frustration wondering what went wrong. I await that day in the near future

Ballmer: Microsoft will power the mobile revolution

Jobs Horns


I really want to know what drugs this guy is freebasing before he goes out on stage even Keith Richards would have to be waving this guy off "No man that's too hard core for me"

Fire service may charge for shifting fat people


Obesity is no longer the problem.

I recently watched a program in morbid fascination as the medical profession had to review their definitions of disorders and had to create a new term

"Super Obese".

So now we have a situation in society in which chubby, fat, obese or even lard arse does not capture the whole you. No, now we have had to create a whole new term to capture and describe the level of laziness they have attained. Where there are special centres to deal with this "epidemic" Where special reenforced widened wheelcahirs need to be made for you so you can be pushed around, because you have difficulty walking. Where your daily exercise routine oonsists of walking about 150 emtres. Where after fnally losing all that weight , plastic surgeons will cut off 20Kgs of flabby skin - from each leg

How in the hell can someone possibly look in the mirror and not notice they have put on a couple hundred pounds and not do anything about it !!!

Trouserless car-breaker fingers leprechaun

Paris Hilton

@Andy worth

No you weren't. It would give new meaning to "Getting your freak on"

Chris Pine steps into Kirk's shoes


this is going to suck blackholes

Are those morons in hollywood suck in some weird time-space anomaly. in which they keep rehashing the same ideas over and over again without learning from their mistakes.

"hey lets do a remake of "the dukes of hazard" need I say more.

Yes I do

For my money this rubbish can only be topped by having that 80's hit Star trekkin' as the theme song