Posts by Chris G

Met Police hands £250m to CSC in IT outsourcing carve-up

Amended

What they hope for:

"The plans promise to shave off £200m over three years and cut ongoing IT costs by 30 per cent. The grand plan is to replace the multiple creaking systems with a 'tower' run contract model – with one supplier overseeing the separate components."

What they'll likely get:

"The plans promise to add £200m over three years and increase ongoing costs by at least 30%.

The grand plan is to have anything that might work."

"French outsourcer Atos will integrate the various chunks of the Met's IT,"

You 'ave a leesonse for zat minkee?

Lonely bloke in chem suit fuels Mars orbiter

Croydon-Mars

Croydon has never stopped going downhill since they built the Whitgift Centre in the '60s, I wonder how much MMH it would take to launch all of it to rendezvous with Mars?

Highly reactive nasty chemicals are often handy for rockets, less so for humans, I bet that guy fueling the probe has high insurance premiums.

Lithium ion batteries banned from passenger aircraft holds

Re: Bad assumption on some of the proposed solutions...

"There's next to nothing that can be done about such internal short circuits, except to invent some new-fangled self-limiting or self-extinguishing action within the cell materials."

How about a powerful disruptive charge to blow out the fire? After all it works on oil rig fires.

Seriously though, perhaps a coating inside the casing that will in the event of a short and overheating that ruptures the casing, will react to produce a rapid self hardening foam sealant to rob the lithium of oxygen .

'Leave' or 'Stay' in the referendum? UK has to implement GDPR either way

Re: Stop repeating rubbish please

I am an ex-pat, sitting having lunch and typing this by the sea in Ibiza.

Myself and probably most of the other 1999999 expats are where we are because we don' t want to live in the UK, and good luck with the UK gov getting what money we may have from foreign banks, let alone the reduced funds we would all have after being forced to sell two million properties overnight, just the Spanish contingent whose houses are aleady undervalued compared to the original purchase prices would be giving them away, so not much mazooly to bring back to good ol' Blighty there.

Have a rethink Volands.

Bill Gates denies iPhone crack demand would set precedent

1st?

I remember reading a long time ago that MS provided the US gov with a back door to the OS before the millennium. Tried looking for it but extended searches with this phone are a pain.

To make the statement that Apple bending to the FBI's will will not create a precedent shows that Bill doesn't know what a precedent is.

Or he's full of horse shit!

'Kalamazoo killer' gave Uber rides in between shooting six dead

Re: We have reached out to the police...

Ah! I'm so pleased they have 'reached out' to the police. Are they going to give them a hug?

Reached out is such a dumb irrelevant phrase in this context, 'offered any assistance we can to the police' or similar would make more sense, reaching out to the families of the victims in some way would indicate this moron knows what is going on.

A mouthpiece that can actually speak articulately might be better.

Is Facebook about to get a Virtual Reality check?

End point

"Gaming and entertainment are one of the first opportunities for VR – not the end point."

No. I'm sure the endpoint will be VS Virtual Sex so good you can't tell the difference, unless they develop something like the virtual holidays from American Dad where you have to go in the goo.

Can't see Fartbook managing a Holosuite anytime soon.

Secret UN report finds against controversial WIPO chief

J.Edgar Hoover

Would have admired this man!

Facebook sniffs at slow telcos, launches own Telecom Infrastructure Project

Re: Facebook cozying up to ISP ? Welcome FaceNet - you can't escape from it

Yup! Not content with slurping you data when you are in Fartbook he wants to get everybody's bits at the first tower it encounters. Oh well! Back to the cocoa tins and string.

Intelligent Energy secures $7.5m to develop smartphone fuel cell

You can say the same for li- po s, I noticed the cover on my mate's play station was coming off, when I looked closer the Sony battery was double its normal thickness. When I told him how dangerous it could be he didn't believe until I shot a hole in it with an air rifle, not an explosion but a decent fire that could start something worse.

As a statistic such a thing is relatively low compared to the numbers of Li-pos out there, the same will apply eventually with hydrogen cells if they take off, A larger market and greater experience curve will drive development to the point where such things are an every day item and safe enough to be so.

Foot in the door

I like this from the point of view that it's a start on an alternative energy supply to normal batteries and obviously with continued development it may become both more affordable as well as usable. Anyone have an idea of the relative differences in energy density/gramme between these cells and li-po batteries?

Software, not wetware, now the cause of lousy Volvo drivers

Re: Sigh:

Or another source of problems that will need a solution.

No tit for tat, or should that be tat for tit ... Women selling stuff on eBay get lower bids

I use eBay quite a lot, apart from a couple of occasions where the photo of the item has been held in a woman's hand, I would have no idea or care whether the seller is male or female (or lesbian or gay).

Is this something that is peculiar to Israel? I have noticed that the page format for different countries differs, perhaps something about the Israeli site makes gender more obvious and Israelis differentiate more.

Shirley, if the bidders want an item they will bid until they reach their maximum and stop, what would make them choose a lower maximum in the case of a female seller?

Sounds like the usual 'Let's do some statistical research just to get a paper out there'.

Cheap (science?)

Solution to tech bros' disgust of SF homeless people launched

Surgery

Both Jon Adams and Justin Keller are clearly in need of abdominal fenestrative surgery , so that they can still see where they are going while their heads are so far up their own arses.

There but for the grace of god/luck/karma etc go I.

Let's hope they get a taste of being homeless and hungry some day and experience 'don't care in the community'.

Triple-murderer prisoner keeps mobile phone in his butt for a week

Of course

I have a phone up my arse!

I'm a communications analist!

Q: How many guns to arm nine coachloads of terrorists?

Poorly equipped

These tourists, sorry, terrists will get nowhere just lugging a load of guns and ammo around!

Where are the deadly, fully encrypted smart phones and laptops that our governments are warning us about nowadays?

Afterall the nine coaches will have to be able to communicate securely to choreograph their attacks properly.

Beware of charabancs full of men singing 'Oh I do like to be beside the seaside with strong accents.

El Reg blows chow down at Justretch.com

In Middle English

It would be 'Punen Day'

While you're out getting a life, make sure it's one that has a sense of (juvenile) humour included.

Brits unveil 'revolutionary' hydrogen-powered car

Re: Brake feel

Yeah! but the lighting components didn't have to come off old Robby the Robot models and using such skinny tyres to reduce rolling resistance is a liability.

This 'ugly go-kart as a service' is the 21st century's answer to the Sinclair C5, which had a great fanfare and rapidly went...... nowhere! The greenest thing about this is, there is more to recycle.

I think a lot of people get these great ideas and become sufficiently taken with them to put money in but lack the ability to link their new idea with what is actually useful and what is actually going to sell. Marks for trying something new but must try harder.

Five Eyes nations must purge terrorists from the web, says Theresa May

So much negativism against Theresa

Remember! Big Sister Loves You!

Stray electronic-magnetic leaks used to harvest PC crypto keys

Tinfoil hats all round

Including a grounded one around your PC!

Follow ESA's intercontinental ballistic missile launch live today

Re: Converted ICBMs?

How do you know it isn't?

Brit spies can legally hack PCs and phones, say Brit spies' overseers

Re: English

I find sometimes that I quite enjoy parsing the writings of AMFM1, they may be multi layered and embedded but always have something to say and of higher quality than some of the comments I read, my own included.

Re: Re:OMG ! How Sad @AC

Leading from the front or following orders at the rear?

I think they are using Bruce Lee's analogy; "Be water my friend", they go with the flow and take the shape and style that suits the moment and the situation. Good fieldcraft for spies!

@Christoph: You think they get turned on by the sound of snoring and farting?

Shopping for PCs? This is what you'll be offered in 2016

Integrated graphics

I am not a gamer but I find that all the integrated graphics processors are quite poor, not good enough to watch a film while editing a few photos. If the graphics don' t have 2Gb it's not enough.

Blighty cops nab Brit teen for 'hacking' CIA Brennan's AOL email

No rendition

I don' t think at 16 he can be extradited, so if he doesn' t dissapear at 5 o clock one morning he may well find himself doing time in Gloucester. Being able at 16, to socially engineer his way to an account like this, shows abilities that should be valued by Big Brother,,, or even the British government.

Free science journal library gains notoriety, lands injunctions

I have found a number of times when beginning a new project, that, when looking for information at a basic level for a process, that many of my searches come up with Elsevier papers which form an effective block to progress at a time when the feasability research is not far enough forward to warrant the cost of their paywall.

However I have been very lucky with a great many studies released by the German Frauenhoffer Institutes that often cover much of what would be in an Elsevier paper but ispublished on the net free and usually a step or two further on than the original research.

Boffins freeze brains, then thaw them – and they're in perfect order

Not there yet

Next, is to stick a bunny in the freezer for a couple of years then the microwave on thaw. Within 24 hours it should be making little bunnys, otherwise, this is interesting research but a very long way from a cryogenic Lazarus effect.

France joins India in telling Facebook to just Zuck off

Re: How would it work?

The French government has ( or at least used to) have a surprisingly long reach. A mate in the '80s for various reasons joined the French Foreign Legion, the minimum time was I think 3 years in, he came home on leave after 18 months and never went back so he was a deserter and wanted by the French military/government, you wouldn't believe the places he couldn't travel to because of extradition treaties with France.

I hope they stick it to fartbook!

Silent Nork satellite tumbling in orbit

You should not underestimate a piss poor crappy little dictatorship that can get enough out of its short resources to put a satellite into orbit.

There must be a few ex soviet satellite nations with some usable nukes that might be for sale to a loony with a rocket. Or Pakistan, they are known to collaborate with others on things nuclear.

Head transplant candidate sells souvenirs to fund operation

It's very likely that even if the surgery is a success and the young man survives and regains conciousness -

The very first thing that I thought, although this may be a bit of valuable research for the future I find it difficult to imagine this being a success. However, I do wish him the very best of luck.

'I will fear no evil' that would be just too weird waking up with the body of a woman and having her mind still in the head with you. I read that story back in the '70s and thought it an interesting thought experiment and social commentary but a little odd.

Stylish Vaio biz mobe is flying this way – ah, it's got Windows 10 inside

Business Plan

"The new owner promised to make luxury tech hardware that was irresistibly attractive"

Usually a new undertaking requires a business plan of some sort, which, if you are pitching at any kind of market but especially the luxury market should include at least a sentence about market research. Clearly their's didn't!

As a slight aside an earlier W10 thread had a recommendation to download GWX to prevent all the WX silliness from MS, I strongly recommend it too, my Win7 machine is now a totally WX free zone!

Bill for half a billion quid lands on Apple's desk in Facetime patent scrap

Members of The Jury

Does the jury base it's decision entirely on instructions from the judge or do they get to make their own minds up if they want to? Or something in between?

The mind boggles at the thought of a bunch of cowpokes deciding on a technical issued that isn't barbed wire or a pickup truck,or is that West texas? Come to think of it, I would prefer the decisions of a bunch of cowpokes to those of quite a few mostly non technical judges.

Did you know ... Stephen Fry has founded a tech startup?

Re: QI

An upvote for Sandy, one of the most English sounding foreigners to ever exist, intelligent and funny to boot.

I also enjoy listening to Mr Fry even if he is a bit of an arse, so far I have yet to see a TV celeb who's advice I would take on any subject let alone anything IT.

I also found the article amusing, I like evil, nasty, sarcasm.

Masked men 'steal' £250k of smartphones from Exertis

Secure premises

Reading this: 'unbolted security bars from the window and dismantled the beading and glass'

Anyone who stores valuable and desirable merchandise in a place where you can unbolt the iron bars is either stupid or needs the insurance money.

And where were the security guards sleeping on the night of the burglary?

They managed to chase two guys the night before but couldn't stop (possibly) the same people carrying out the blag 24 hours later?

P.S. anyone wanna buy a cheap phone???

Uber rebrands to the sound of whalesong confusion

Re: "technology that moves cities and their citizens."

@Stoneshop; you could add a few airforces to that list, USAF, RAF etc could have the motto 'Moving cities and their citizens. Onwards and Upwards!'

Internet idiots make hoax bomb threats to UK, Aus, French schools

Spuds

If they are Russian and Putin catches them , they can look forward to a lifetime of digging spuds in Siberia but frum their use of English I don't think they are Russians. I hope these aresholes get caught and severely spanked.

Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Yep! MS marketing typewith your 'overcoming objections' folder from the sales department, open for immediate use. Just fuck off and have a bad day!

So, AC are you another fucking MS PR boy like those we always get in a thread like this one?

Microsoft sinks to new depths with underwater data centre experiment

Battery

Basically, seawater is an electrolyte, so any time you put any two even slightly different metals into it in reasonably close proximity you will get current flow. Which means a transmigration of metal ions from one pole to the other. A reason for large metal boats not lasting for ever.

Though MS didn't get where it is today by being completely stupid, although some stupidity has had a part to play. I am sure they have enough smarts to avail themselves of the latest materials technology to make a well sealed vessel. I think 5 years should be doable and if the things are designed to be recoverable, bringing them to the surface at server changing time for an overhaul would help then to last the twenty years.

Any research for ideas to improve things is better than none so kudos to them.

State Department finds 22 classified emails in Hillary’s server, denies wrongdoing

Re: It could be much much worse...

So it could be 8 years of the Hildbeast and if she doesn't nuke somebody's real estate because they won't sell it to her, she could be followed by 8 years of another Bush. By which time if Obarmy has been inducted into the US chapter of the NWO Illuminati, his kids will be about ready for their turn.

Trump would be the fly in the oinkment, if he gets in I am going to brush up on my bunker building skills, even if it'sonly to get away from the rubbish he spouts.

Most of the world still dependent on cash

Re: There's a good and a bad side to this

In the good old days of the Costa Del Crime, money moved around quite a lot in car roof linings.

You would be amazed at how many second hand British cars were for sale in Spain with the roof ling falling down.

A remark heard frequently some years ago " There's old **&^%(&, every few weeks he comes out for a holiday and he's in a different car!"

Not sure how much would fit in a head lining butI'll bet it's more than a million in mixed notes.

Also as Spain used to be Europe's gateway for drugs into Europe it was cars going to France , Germany and the UK that were searched, not so much for cars coming into Spain ( with much needed currency)

Why a detachable cabin probably won’t save your life in a plane crash

I'm just a leetle curious

What has this Ukrainian inventor, invented before this remarkable piece of,,,, stuff?

The self scraping burnt toaster?

Facebook tells Belgian government its use of English invalidates privacy case

Schoolyard

This sounds like a schoolyard argument! Is this the best a $245 billion company can manage?

Or is Zuck too tight to hire a decent Lawyer?

Land Rover Defender dies: Production finally halted by EU rules

Re: Truncated history

Absolutely true, they were inspired by the American jeeps and they were also inspired to change a few things. A better, lighter body that was modular and easy to adapt to different uses, more economical ( even then) and greater clearance underneath the improve off roading on rougher terrain.

I had a 1963 IIa petrol for about 8 years, I used it for work as a mechanic, towing a 2 horse box London to Wales on a number of occasions and after the October storm in '87 I used it to pull downed trees out of the road, some of which were a good three feet in diameter. 4 wheel low is awesome even in an old 54BHP IIa.

Currently I am driving a '92 Disco 1 310.000 Km on the clock, I have just changed the steering box, steering damper and rebuilt the front swivels The engine doesn't burn oil and the only leak is the rocker box cover, sooner or later they always need changing on any old car.

Slow down to about 4KPH and the box snicks freely into 4 wheel low diff lock, that will get me out of anything particularly as my tyres are Cooper Discoverys and not school run shopping trolley tyres.

Outrageously leaky Landys are usually owned by people who are too lazy to do, or have done basic maintenance.

I bought my Disco 6 years ago from a Spanish lad who was given it by his Dad who had bought a new one, neither of them had done more than put diesel in the tank , check the oil occasionally and pump the tyres up a bit, because that was all it ever needed.

Who needs a new one? Not me!

Investors furious that Amazon only made $482m last quarter

Of course

It's Amazon who is at fault here! I mean, Wall Street market analysts are never wrong are they?

After looking at all the numbers and correlating them , they make a guess about the future, so what could possibly go wrong?

My heart goes out to those poor unfortunate investors who will be reduced to eating red caviar this quarter.

Wikipedia board stands by new ex-Googler appointee

WMF?

What does the World Mud Flinging organisation have to do with Wickimedia?

OH wait............

Apparently we have to give customers the warm fuzzies ... How the heck do we do that?

Warm Fuzzies

If you can give me a regular supply of warm fuzzies, I'm your customer!

Of course, I don't mind if they are shaved either.

This; '“Essentially it’s about making decisions based on the needs of your customers.' is priceless any insultant smart enough to figure this out and tell you about it, is worth paying at least a fiver,

to piss off and not tell you the bloody obvious.

If your customer doesn't need it he ain't likely to buy it, so no fuzzy experience for either of you.

Perhaps genuine research to determine customer needs is a first step, followed by possibly making whatever it is he needs, available at a reasonable price and following up with continuing service in a value for money format.

I will take payment in cash, bitcoins or sexual favours but don't tell my wife ( about any of them).

Ban internet anonymity – says US Homeland Security official

Feck Off

Back to your HOMEland!

What the Feck is HOMEland security doing with a European attache?

Aren't there enough other US agencies blundering around other people's countries trying to keep the terrists out of 'The Land of The Free'?

We'll have the TSA with their rubber gloves at boarding gates for US bound flights soon.

Google patents robotic 'mobile delivery receptacle'

ED209

See title, add catcher's mitt.

Only very serious muggers will mess with Ed.