* Posts by Andrew Moore

1720 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Mar 2007

EU Commission plots to end rip-off Britain online

Andrew Moore

How about a law...

For providing a correct pound to euro exchange rate and not have instances like thecrookpeople.co.uk who allow you to purchase in sterling but charge you in euros adding nearly 60% to the total without warning.

Unfortunately it looks like play.com are going the same way. I say 'unfortunately' for play.com- they are not the only ones selling CDs online....

Microsoft: 'We will save America from foreign domination'

Andrew Moore
Coat

@Justin White

>Secondly, I find it incredibly insulting that anyone outside the US would dare think

>that we aren't aware of the rest of the world. D-Day should have proved that.

>Otherwise, the UK might still be a heap of rubble

Sorry mate, the Battle of Britain was won long before you septics were drop kicked into WWII by the nips.

[Mines the one that says "No USA, you did not single handedly win WWII"]

A reading from the second book of Codh

Andrew Moore

And...

Irritated of Ireland demanded of the Sons of Kahn for the umpteenth time: "Where the fuck is the Class Explorer functionality missing since BCB version 6"

BOFH: The PFY's comeuppance

Andrew Moore

@Lukin Brewer

>was it set to stir-fry or stun?

Do you think that question even needed to be asked...

'Crazy rasberry ants' target Texan tech

Andrew Moore

@Tim Read

It's how they spell Raspberry on Ellis Island.

Phone-theft hotspots named and shamed

Andrew Moore
Paris Hilton

Sheesh

>You can also loose them

Bloody hell- only 4 messages in and we get the obligatory "I cannot spell 'lose'" message.

Paris Hilton- because to her, grammar is someone who lives with grampa...

Swiss ponder the 'dignity of plants'

Andrew Moore
Flame

I often ponder the "dignity of the Swiss"...

...they always seem to be very tight lipped about their bankrolling of the nazi war machine in World War 2.

NZ bank robber stashes loot where the sun don't shine

Andrew Moore
Joke

Apparently...

...It was only $1998- according to the robber he "asn't feeling too grand..."

Customers give Dell the finger over keyboard screw-up

Andrew Moore

Hmmmmmm...

It looks like the location of the 2 shift keys has been swapped over- The long shift key is usually on the right

'Space gemstone' meteorite crashes at auction

Andrew Moore
Coat

@AC

>composed of approximately 50 per cent olivine and peridot crystals and '50 cent' nickel-iron

Could have been worse- '50 Cent Nickleback'- rap/rock fusion...

Spike Milligan goes mobile

Andrew Moore

A little late???

Should have been launched 9 days ago.

"What are we going to do now..."

'Safe' mobile phone battery firm goes titsup

Andrew Moore

Bonuses...

>including £65,000 in staff bonuses in 2007.

Which was probably split £64,000 between the 2 directors and £1000 for everyone else.

Apple gets (slightly) less sneaky with Windows Safari play

Andrew Moore

Ha

I was sorting a WiFi problem on a friends computer yesterday when I noticed Safari on his PC. "Ah- I see you use Safari" I said. He replied that he didn't know what it was or how it got onto his computer.

El Reg celebrates 10th birthday

Andrew Moore
Joke

Happy Birthday...

...though I have to ask- were you lot ever sent by the Wicked Witch of the West to go capture Dorothy???

Sun may shut off high-end MySQL features

Andrew Moore

Brings a tear to the eye...

"Open Source software is raising havoc throughout the software market. It is the ultimate in disruptive technology, and while it is only 6 per cent of estimated trillion dollars IT budgeted annually, it represents a real loss of $60bn in annual revenues to software companies."

As a regular contributor to various open source initiatives this makes me feel very proud.

Billy Bragg: Why should songwriters starve so others get rich?

Andrew Moore

Patronage...

I would like to see some form of return to patronage- Fans would pay a stipend to their favourite artists and in return will receive access to their works both recorded and live. This could work in many different genres and media, not only music.

BBC vs ISPs: Bandwidth row escalates as Tiscali wades in

Andrew Moore

The solution...

If only there was a way to transmit this stuff wirelessly...

Apple ignores Jesus Phone life raft

Andrew Moore
Flame

Flame on...

My boss just brought back one of these pieces of garbage from the states- Of course it was dumped on my desk to get it working. After two days of working with it and it's "GUI for cretins" I've renamed it the "Fucking Twat Phone" as in "If a fucking twat needed a phone, which one would it use".

Got to go, the boss has just rung down. Apparently the fucking twat phone doesn't like spaces in file names....

Transgender man prepares to give birth

Andrew Moore
Thumb Up

What to do???

How about dropping the gender terms such as 'male/female', 'he/she' etc and just talk about the whole thing in chromosomic terms. In which case an XX, who was born XX with the organs peculiar to XX, got married to a second XX. The second XX is unable to conceive so the first XX has conceived in its place.

See- a lot simplier and no need for gender bias, bigotry or the such.

Andrew Moore

The real question here is...

How did the wife produce sperm??? I'm presuming she's a true XX.

Brit TV company blamed for Peruvian tribal deaths

Andrew Moore
Coat

Maybe the company will now change their name...

...to Sick-Harder

El Reg offers cut-and-paste comments service

Andrew Moore
Paris Hilton

Oh no...

Wow- every IT story ever likely to be written!!! In one article!!!

I think The Register has just put itself out of business.

Paris- because the last time I got plastered I broke my leg.

AJAX patent threat to giants under the hammer

Andrew Moore
Coat

For what it's worth...

...I coded my first "sideband" application in the late 80s. It was a basic pre-fetch that added detail to a table when you clicked on it- My app just used the time that the user was reading the table to get the extra data they would want when they clicked on a row. It was based on modem comms and the fact that you paid for time on the line rather than data thruput. The whole idea was to be to use the modems bandwidth while you were dialed in, rather than have idle periods followed vy slow downloads when you finally "clicked" (hit Return) on something.

Now- how much should I be paid???

US airline pilot pops a cap in cockpit

Andrew Moore

I have an Anti-Tiger Stick if Bob Hesselbein would like to buy it.

After all, since my Anti-Tiger Stick was brought into service, neither I or the people around me have been attacked by tigers. My estimate would be at least over a million people have been protected by my Anti-Tiger Stick. That's why the deterrent value of this Stick is just staggering.

Robo spy-zeppelin prototype in test flight

Andrew Moore
IT Angle

Pinky Ponk

My daughter renamed it the 'Stinky Stonk' simply because of the noises it makes.

And what's with Macca Pakka and his OCD???

Twittercide results in banality bloodbath

Andrew Moore
Thumb Down

A handy video on why and how Twitter sucks so much...

http://www.commoncraft.com/Twitter

32nd Carry On film is go

Andrew Moore
Paris Hilton

My nominees...

Howard Moon and Vince Noir- no others need apply

"I'M OLD GREGG!!!!!!!!!"

PH because she probably has drunk Baileys from a shoe.

O2 unveils XDA Atmos

Andrew Moore
Coat

Anyone remember

Oric???

Windows better off closed, says Microsoft

Andrew Moore
Gates Horns

I am reminded of Monty Python...

...and the Funniest Joke in the World. The reason why MS will not release the source is because one look at it by any sane person would be enough to make them laugh themselves to death.

Microsoft cuts Vista price

Andrew Moore
Gates Horns

Hmmmmmm...

There's a very pertinent saying that I think completely applies to this- "It's impossible to polish a turd"

Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

Andrew Moore
Heart

2 more from Flash Gordon...

"Send out War Rocket Ajax to bring back his body"- General Kala

and everytime Brian Blessed says "Gaaaarrrrrgh"

7000 Leap Year Babies attack Steve Ballmer

Andrew Moore
Thumb Up

is it a Leap Year code...

if(year%4==0 && (year%100!=0 || year%400==0))

return true;

Doctors back more tax on booze

Andrew Moore
Coat

With apologies to Pastor Martin Niemöller

"First they came for the smokers and I did not speak out because I was not a smoker

Then they came for the drinkers and I did not speak out because I was not a drinker

Then they came for the boring, self-righteous pricks and there was no one left to speak out for me"

BOFH: Insecurity complex

Andrew Moore
Stop

What 'Jeff'???

I'd just like to say RTFA- His name's Jim, not Jeff.

Warner Bros revs up live action Akira

Andrew Moore
Thumb Up

How about!!!

Setting it in Neo Hollywood- a vast arid wasteland, devoid of fertility, haunted by its denizens (known as the unCreatives...)

Facebook loses a few bitches

Andrew Moore
Coat

LinkedIn your next...

Facebook gets its coat...

Counterfeit vans: A little-known online grocery scam

Andrew Moore

As a scam this fails on so many levels...

1. When I receive a home delivery I'm asked to verify the contents of the crates and sign off that I have received my shopping. Unless the scammers are receiving details about my order they are not going to get that right.

2. I would be alerted to the scam the moment the real delivery arrives.

On the plus side I would have 2 loads of shopping for the price of 1!!! Sounds like a win for the consumer to me.

US hospitals launch Wiihabilitation

Andrew Moore

A little late???

The Rehab Centre in Deansgrange, Dublin have been using them for nearly a year. A mate of mine who had a stroke was telling me about htem.

Suicide bomb swoop bags Musharraf's merry men

Andrew Moore

Sunday Times = Sky News?

Isn't the Sunday Times owned by News Corp who also own that delightful propaganda engine Fox/Sky News??? They seem to have default settings for all their stories:

"Foreign national detained" = "Terrorist Bomber detained"

"Suspect questioned in child abduction case" = "Paedophile questioned in child abduction case"

oh and anything qualifies for "Breaking News" even if it happened yesterday.

Britt Ekland on board for 'Wicker Man 2'

Andrew Moore

@Fraser

"Odd that America also produces some of the most fierce porn in the world, as well as being some of the world's most reactionary anti-wardrobe-malfunctioners."

I'm presuming that "fierce" here means "boring, generic and repetitive". And as for the wardrobe malfunction I think The Onion speared that one better than anyone:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30883

Wikipedia ruled by 'Lord of the Universe'

Andrew Moore

A cult?

to quote Jasper Carrot "Look at that, just one letter wrong"

BBC excludes Grange Hill after 30 years of misbehaviour

Andrew Moore
Unhappy

@Matt

The Teletubbies are gone. The torture these days is called "In The Night Garden"

Andrew Moore

They'll always be remembered...

as the only school kids in England that didn't say "fuck"!

BOFH: What GPS is for

Andrew Moore

Oh dear...

GPS??? Geocaching??? How very last millennium. Sales totty should have sold him a state of the art GNSS unit.

Scientology website shielded against DDoS attack

Andrew Moore

For what it's worth...

...Hubbard got his idea for basing a religion around Sci-Fi from a dinner party that he was not invited to (if memory serves Theodore Sturgeon was there).

UK.gov on Galileo: We can't stop it, just sign the cheque

Andrew Moore

Worst thing is...

...for the cost of one NorthernRock bailout the UK could have launched its own constellation

RIAA told to pay legal fees for harrassed defendant

Andrew Moore

@ Ole Juul

If I heard that some guy had been trying to contact my 10yr old daughter at school he'd need a restraining order against me and my cricket bat.

Dip into concept programming

Andrew Moore
Unhappy

My two cents...

It sounds like it will be a bugger to debug by someone other than the original programmer. Concepts are extremely abstract and vary vastly between different people. It just sounds like a new way to introduce yet another level of obfuscation to code.

Clash of the compacts: Eee vs Air

Andrew Moore

The other comparision...

You can buy 10 Eees for the price of 1 Air.

Lord Triesman on P2P, pop-ups and the Klaxons

Andrew Moore
Thumb Up

Patronage...

I would like to see the return of patronage (obviously on a multi-consumer basis) that allows me to download anything my beneficiaries produce without hindrance, for a fee per year (say the price of a standard CD). This would have the effect of driving the revenue directly to the artists and will weed out the less popular as they will no be economically viable. This could work for theatre, film, music, literature, art- the works. It would also mean that self appointed "guardians" like the RIAA and MPAA would become unneeded.