Posts by Anon

Plusnet outage leaves customers unable to stream Netflix. Horrors!

Re: 38Mb?

Maybe it's a Ponzi scheme, but using bandwidth instead of money.

Apple seeks patent for paper bag - you read that right, a paper bag

It'll never float

If there's one thing the SBS don't want their bags made from, it would probably be paper.

Excel abuse hits new heights as dev uses VBA to code spreadsheet messaging app

Segoe UI Symbol WHY?

Because nothing is beyond our reach:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USA-247#/media/File:Nrol-39.jpg

Never-never chip tech Memristor shuffles closer to death row

Re: Produlate

I don't think it'll stick.

Lester Haines: RIP

Shocked.

He helped make the world a better place. RIP, Lester.

Chaps make working 6502 CPU by hand. Because why not?

Re: Yes, but can it...

...play Elite?

Yes, it can.

Well, it might need a few extra transistors to turn it into a BBC Micro first.

Compression tool 7-Zip pwned, pain flows to top security, software tools

Not an install-over-the-top program.

Uninstall the old version first. Otherwise the computer requests a restart.

Or if you've installed it and found that out, uninstall the new version, uninstall the old version, install the new version.

No need to ask how I know that... see icon.

Patch ASAP: Tons of Linux apps can be hijacked by evil DNS servers, man-in-the-middle miscreants

Re: I'll bet...

"Wait till anon finds out..."

On a scale of nought to zero, guess how much I care :)

Virgin Media daddy Liberty Global swoops on Cable & Wireless Communications

The cable giant will...

... put up prices to pay off CWC's net debt of $2.7bn.

'We can handle politicos, OUR ISSUE IS JUDGES', shout GCHQ docs

Boggle

"Can also visit ministers to check that they understand the reasons why they've signed the warrants."

So ministers may be signing warrants without understanding why?

Anonymous UK 'leader' fined for revealing ID of rape complainant

Short cable ties

Take two cable ties. Put the tail of one into the clicker of the other. Now you have a longer cable tie.

Engineers 3D-print ROBOT SEAHORSE, then SMASH it with rubber mallets

Why not both?

Robo-seahorses with frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads attached to their heads?

Ye Bug List

El Reg pages don't scroll from the keyboard any more...

... because the login is auto-focused.

Please take away the auto-focus: I am sure it is much more common to go to a page and use the space bar or arrow keys to look around the page than it is to want to log in.

Ricoh rolls out electrifyingly exciting RUBBER!

Re: Hmm...

*Tipp-Ex

Boffins weigh in to perfect kilogram quest with LEGO kit

Not BLI

It's BIL. Goes along with BeV. BIL and BeV, easy to remember. Now, if I could only remember what they went with...

World first: ANIMATED GIF of Mercurian SUN ZOOM from MARS

Click here for proper size

Ha ha, not falling for that one. My monitor is not 1,400,000 km across.

Schneier: NSA snooping tactics will be copied by criminals in 3 to 5 years

The NSA are the criminals

Anonymous Coward.

Vulcan? Not on our tiny balls. Pluto moons named Kerberos, Styx

Somehow, I'd rather the name Vulcan went to an actual inhabitable planet around another star.

Planetary data merge shows three Earth-like planets in close star system

Re: Time for a new X-Prize?

Probably best to slow the spherical seed down afterwards - if it hit an inhabited planet nearby at c/10 there would be no chance for peas.

STROKE this mouse to make apps POP, says Microsoft

Re: Is it just me?

The left picture is rotated 90 degrees CCW. So your hand will be fine, you'll just get a crick in your neck from using that mouse.

New rules to end cries of 'WTF... a £10 online booking fee?'

Virgin Media

Are Virgin Media going to have to explain how it costs them five quid to process an on-line credit card payment as compared to direct-debit payments?

Watch out, office bods: A backdoor daemon lurks in HP LaserJets

Re: Well you could hack it for passwords

PC LOAD LETTER means you forgot to change the paper cassette messages to INSERT 10p THEN PRESS CONTINUE.

Yes, hundreds upon hundreds of websites CAN all be wrong

Re: daddy long-legs

No, no, lol. Not crane flies, but Pholcidae. And I thought they were meant to be the most venomous creature in the world. Anyway, Mythbusters disproved that: http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/mythbusters-database/daddy-long-leg-spiders.htm

Nevertheless, they do an excellent job of keeping down the spider population in my abode.

Your brain, the Internet and the Universe

If the universe is a giant brain, then the big bang could imply mind=blown.

Network upgrading punches Everything Everywhere in the wallet

While they're waiting...

...why don't they finish their 2G network?

Google.eggfaced: Chocolate Factory spaffs cash in dot-word bungle

Comoras

Well, that's .com as-is down the pan then.

Finally a use for quantum computers: Finding LOL-cats faster

Surely?

Schrödinger's LOL-cats?

Google counters juice V8 Javascript engine

Obvious way to speed it up

Take out all the Javascript fictions it has to keep looking for. There's no need for it to read stories while processing.

Yes, thank you, that one with the paperback in the pocket.

Blighty's fast mobe broadband in music wrecking probe

Is this anything to do with LightSquared?

Boffins unimpressed by LOHAN's sizzling thruster

H is for...

How about using hydrogen instead of helium, and use that as fuel?

Icon as a reminder about which isotope to use.

Using virtual particles to get real random numbers

Re: Want one NOW!

In a sort of Schrödinger-esque fashion, you can use a cat and a door. You open the door for the cat, and there is a 50/50 chance it will actually go through.

Randy dwarf galaxies are making billions of baby stars

Ooh, shiny!

Are we in the middle of a patent bubble?

Wouldn't it be simpler if patents were non-transferable?

DVLA tosses Virgin Media £6.7m in 3-year phone deal

If they wanted it to be cost-effective for their "customers", they wouldn't use non-geographic numbers that cost a fortune to call from a mobile.

Mass ASP.NET attack causes websites to turn on visitors

SQL Injection?

Perhaps there are some people who shouldn't be allowed near code editors ever again, all the way down to ed and Notepad, if they don't code to prevent SQL injection attacks.

So, when's the next XSS exploit due?

Interference-dodging app sidesteps Wi-Fi band-hoggers

Name hopping

Does this mean Ethereal is going to change its name again?

Apple finally purges Mac OS of disgraced DigiNotar certs

Easy-to-use fix for early OS X

There's an installer package available at

http://ps-enable.com/articles/diginotar-revoke-trust

to do all the fiddly certificate stuff. It is not as simple as changing all Diginotar certs to "not trusted for all users" - apparently that triggers a bug which will leave you even more vulnerable, if I read correctly.

Hey Commentards! [This title is optional]

?

"All Anon posts get a V for Vendetta mask instead."

ORLY?

iPhone users richer, brainier, more tasteful than Android-ers

"brainier, more tasteful"

So, come the zombiepocalypse...

Virgin Media flogs off UKTV stake for £339m

Oh great...

... another excuse for them to put up the price of their services.

Anonymous and TeaMp0isoN promise songs but no Facebook hack

But...

What if it actually is a good song?

Boffins fix dead satellite using 'dirty hack' in space

And the solution was?

There's no point only telling us it was a "dirty hack" - we need the details so if the same thing happens on our satellites we know how to fix it too.

Sprint springs into bed with LightSquared

Where are we?

Of course I hope it doesn't, but it will be *hilarious* if it does wipe out GPS.

H2O water-powered shower radio

Re: What they said ^^^

You're right: it is already illegal, or at least contrary to the terms and conditions of the water company, if your shower is fed directly from the mains water.

Record Patch Tuesday with 17-bulletin bumper crop

And can I add...

Here, this one's even funnier: in Mac OS X, you click on a picture of an apple to shut down! Where's the connection there? Start/Stop Apples/Pears?

And that icon in Windows isn't labelled Start (any more), and you can set the computer to shut down when you press the power switch.

TV election debate 'worm' graph found to undermine democracy

Wrapped around the end-stop

Politicians are "talking" - why isn't the worm burying itself into the "dislike" part?

Fire-quenching electric forcefield backpack invented

Gravity & density differences

"if you can come up with a way to keep liquid, in a closed system, circulating with no outside power requirements..." - see back-boilers, which work by convection. Not only for liquids: domestic radiators give off most of their heat by convection, not, as the name would suggest, by radiation.

Cobalt-barrel machine guns could fire full auto Hollywood style

Re: mandrel

Parmesan cheese.