* Posts by Simon Neill

246 publicly visible posts • joined 15 Oct 2007


'Better than Adobe' Foxit PDF plugin hit by worse-than-Adobe 0-day

Simon Neill


2001 called, they want their exploit back.

IPv6 networking: Bad news for small biz

Simon Neill

Re: crazy academic led BS as usual?

Exactly, it'll be like switching to digital tv.

There will be thousands or millions of devices that still don't support ipv6 and are not getting replaced any time soon.

High Court confirms 'cheap DVD' tax loophole will close

Simon Neill

Here we go again.

£110M/year in lost taxes on overpriced DVDs

£50,000M bank bailout.

Which do you think bothers me more?

Especially when the ************************ still want to charge me 3.7% interest on my mortgage.

SUNKEN LINER Titanic iceberg riddle answer FOUND ON MOON

Simon Neill

Re: It was the speed of the Titanic what sank her.

Well, in a gigantic ship like the Titanic at 26 mph you have plenty of time to think its just that after thinking for 30 seconds you realise that you should have slowed down and started turning last Thursday.

Lumpy nanoparticles improve thin film solar cells

Simon Neill

Ah but,

Ah, but how long do these things take to pay for themselves? 5x their lifespan?

Until we fix that issue with all solar cells we have a problem.

Chilli crab scoffing boffins build anti-cancer claw robot

Simon Neill

You're going to feel

A slight pinch.

Hold on a sec - leap seconds granted a last-minute reprieve

Simon Neill


Because that would take a bloody long time. These occur max once a year, so its a long time to get a whole hour together.

On the other hand, seriously...we can cope with an hour change twice a year but not a twitch of one second? WTF?

Fans goad Valve for Half-Life 3 gen

Simon Neill

The borealis.

Unlocks achievement "The missing experiment".

Ever sine I saw it all I have thought is gravity gun + portal gun = :D :D :D :D

Also, chell and gordon hook up and have a completely silent affair.

Doomsday Clock ticks one minute closer to annihilation

Simon Neill
I agree that they are separate issues and should be treated as such. However, I would add that the entire thing is in fact bollocks and needless. I would disagree that a nice fast death to a nuke is scarier than watching the entire world slowly go to shit as crops die and everyone starves. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!

Bit-part actress slings sueball at IMDb over age gripe

Simon Neill

Shirley Henderson

Shirley Henderson plays "Moaning Myrtle" in the Harry Potter films. For those who make their abode directly beneath a large deposit of granite in the middle of the rainforest Moaning Myrtle in the films is the ghost of a teenager and thus in most ways IS a teenager.

Shirley Henderson is 47 in November. Seems to imply that people knowing your real age doesn't seem to make a difference.

Intel demos transparent-lid hybrid PC

Simon Neill


Hmm. I can't watch the youtube vid, firewall and all.

However half of me wants to think that surely they would be clever enough to only backlight the part in use, its not too hard to segment a backlight LED.

The other half of me is thinking I bet you are right, cheaper to make probably beats having a product with decent batttery life if they even thought of battery life.

Boffins demo time-warp cloaking device

Simon Neill


Only stolen cloaking technology, IIRC it was ok to make our own but given how easily most cloaking devices were circumvented who'd want one anyway?

Every time they met a cloaked ship they found a new component to reverse the polarity on that uncloaked said ship.

Simon Neill

In fact...

This machinery is so huge, I'd say you don't even need to turn it on to prevent the event being observed. The MET office use this technique already - lots of fancy machinery to hide the dart board.

Parasites spark swarm of zombie bees

Simon Neill

Choice of words.

77% of samples contained an infection, so it depends on what a sample was. If a sample was 100 bees and there were 100 samples there could be anything from 77 to 7,700 infected bees out of 10,000. Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics.

'Mobiles bake men's balls' bog ad is cobblers - new ruling

Simon Neill

Yeah right.

Phones put out the most radiation when making a call or using the internet. In those cases it will be next to the ear or in the hands respectively. Hence, not damaging to fertility.

Heck, I've yet to see any proof that talking on phones a lot causes any problems for gods sake. The last edition of this information I read said the tests were on exposed sperm. Exposed sperm don't last long even if you do nothing, never mind cooking them with a phone.

KIBOSH 'non lethal' sticky-bomb hits a car, fills it with gas

Simon Neill

Kills It By Oxygen Supplanting, Hello.

Yeah, I don't know where I was going with that.

"which might call its non-lethal nature into question in the case of a speeding car"

Surely its better to maybe kill someone in a car crash than definately kill them with a grenade? Seatbelts, airbags and all. Having been in an 80mph smash, I can tell you its suprising how little damage you take. Nothing broken, nothing bleeding. Shame about the whiplash.

Boffins glue self-righting ROBO-VELOCIRAPTOR tail to car

Simon Neill

What an interesting tail you tell.

Study finds piracy withering against legal alternatives

Simon Neill


One DVD I owned briefly before it was cast into the bin had (I counted) 6 unskipable trailers for other films, 4 of which I already had. 3 "you wouldn't steal a..." clips. 2 minutes of the text. Then a 1 minute into into the menu.

So after watching the disc once I threw it away and went and pirated a copy.

Overall - I think piracy is something you just have to live with. Taking Avatar and CoD MW. Both set world records for sales while at the same time respective industries are claiming that piracy is killing them. Sorry, something doesn't add up there.

Germans increase office efficiency with 'cloud ceiling'

Simon Neill

Lucky you.

We don't even get urinals here.

How Apple won the West (and lost the world)

Simon Neill


You must have pockets as big as guybrush threepwood if you can lug that lot around on the move.

For computing on the move I have a laptop. I have a smartphone and never use it. Its too small and fiddly. Lets not forget the fact that 95% of my e-mails require me to be in work to deal with anyway.

Then I would reiterate what someone said above - when I'm not working or sat at my PC I don't WANT to be working or sat at a PC, hence the only time I have EVER used my phone is when I was trapped on transport and bored. Not worth the price of a jesus phone for that.

US military's non-lethal weapon plans revealed

Simon Neill

Mythbusters did it too.

And myth busted as far as they could tell.

Of course, in both cases I would suggest that perhaps ear defenders are cheating. Although, I suppose if it IS defeated simply with ear defenders then its pretty useless as a weapon.

Cops get 3D laser scanners for motorway crash sites

Simon Neill

Amen to that.

Having had the wonderful fun of getting smashed into twice on the motorway, I do think people need to realise what happens when they take their eyes off the road while moving 80mph. Of course, having them rubber neck at a previous accident doesn't quite seem the right solution.

Cheap energy revives US manufacturing, skint Brits shiver

Simon Neill


100% agree. These people saying a "mere" £110/year are the ones paid £40k/year+ with expense accounts. The average wage in the UK a couple years ago was £24k.

Simon Neill
Thumb Up

Hells yeah.

I want to make alternate accounts just so I can upvote that more.

I'm all for moving off fossil fuels, but here is the rub. We need energy when we need energy, not when it happens to be windy or sunny. Lets imagine a UK powered by wind/solar/tidal.

Wind power = shit

Solar = great if you don't live in the UK

Tidal = pretty reliable, but it does have "pauses" at high and low tide.

Its not hard to imagine a day with no sun, no wind and at high/low tide we in fact get no energy at all. Woohoo. Break out the mud huts and the candles everyone! Welcome back to the Dark Ages!

Or, we could go nuclear. Reliable energy whenever we need it. We can build it in convinient locations, where power is needed not the top of Ben Nevis. It really doesn't take a genius to figure out which is better. If we go down the Thorium reactor route is even better still.

Beeb rescues old Who episodes

Simon Neill


£50k. Thats nothing.


Simon Neill


How do we tell the aliens to record it?

For all we know they will take one look at it and go to defcon 1 in case the timelords in our documentory come to get them.

Netflix set to make your video history public

Simon Neill


So long as this is about allowing the user to make it happen, then I'm ok with this.

ICO smacks Welsh council with record £130k fine

Simon Neill


Well, yes a printer each is certainly not cost effective.

However, our shared printers have a secure print facility whereby sensetive documents can be locked with your user/pass and will only print out AFTER you log in to the printer. This way you have to physically be there and can stop this sort of mix up.

Of course, even with regular printing these things offset each print job such that only a RETARD could accidentally pick up parts of two print jobs and not notice.

Makes you wonder how many such measures actually are in place but the staff are too stupid to actually use them.

Oz rail company sold USB keys from lost property in auction

Simon Neill

Biased sample?

Can i suggest that the sample size is biased somewhat there.

In that, the sort of person who doesn't take the time and effort to encrypt/secure a USB stick is also the sort that won't take the effort to check the thing is still in their pocket. Indeed, the fact that they haven't been reclaimed suggests they haven't been missed for long enough to make identifying when they went missing impossible.

I've "lost" USB sticks but never in a public place and never with anything important on them.

GCHQ code-breaking challenge cracked by Google search

Simon Neill



Because when you say "Public sector worker" 90% of people think "teacher".

Teacher base pay starts on £23k/ year and that is for working only 40 weeks 9-3.

My pay? maxxed out at £23k/year for 47 weeks 8-4.

Also, teachers get 50% more travel allowance than me.

Printed-out dissolving bones, teeth work well in rats

Simon Neill

Regrown limbs.

I imagine the technical challenge of growing the meat/bone is the easy part. The problem even with reattaching original limbs is connecting the nerves more than anything, they are tricky buggers.

I also wonder how much variation there would be between a regrown limb and the original - a blood vessel/nerve cluster being half a centimetre to the left/right seems like it would be a problem.

Wi-Fi may damage sperm, boffins warn

Simon Neill


This is a study showing that if we do things that can never occur naturally, harm will result.

Unless the wifi chip is directly under the trackpad on my laptop, the signal is going to have to penetrate my thighs before it reaches my manhood. That alone is going to attenuate the signal 90+%, if the signal strength reading is any indication.

Fair play to them, they outright said that their study alone is useless, but that doesn't make it ok.

Malls suspend plan to track shoppers' cellphones

Simon Neill

Glad to see a bit of sense.

On the one hand, "OMG they can track my phone" is not a pleasing thing. However, if you REALLY think about it they can track you quite easily through a shopping centre, all they need to do is put together your credit card transactions or something and THAT is a lot less anonymous.

Toyota unveils 'smartphone on four wheels'

Simon Neill


My car crashed!

Won't someone think of the .children, begs Russian registry

Simon Neill

I'm betting I'm not the only one...

...thinking of another use for websites ending in .children ....

Still, it doesn't really matter WHAT tld those people use.

Office 15 beta ready for fondling by early 2012

Simon Neill

13 Was the mac version wasn't it?

aka Office 2008.

iPhone 4S is for failures who work in coffee shops - Samsung

Simon Neill

You know,

The "Anti apple" crowd are JUST as annoying and smug as the "pro apple" crowd to those of us that just want a phone and don't really give a crap what picture is on the back of it.

New 'plasma lamps' to replace fluorescent bulbs, LEDs

Simon Neill


What if they leak?

Swearing fine quashed as teens have heard it all before

Simon Neill

I fucking wish...

you would stop fucking swearing.

I do wonder why we have swear words. Why make a word that people aren't allowed to say it just makes no sense. I'm not saying people should swear all the time, but if I drop a heavy object on my toe and I swear, my toe should take priority over your ears.

Too rude for the road: DVLA hot list of banned numberplates

Simon Neill


I also saw

"PEN 18" made me do a doubletake.

Simon Neill


In that case I want


And my car spraying blue.

Chinese boffin uses panda poo for world's priciest cuppa

Simon Neill


This coffee tastes like shit.

It IS shit Austin.

Bishop to bless road salt supplies for added winter safety

Simon Neill

How about

Blessed midichlorian-activated fairy-dust delux edition? that should be so good it goes back in time and melts the ice last year.

Enormous orbiting solar raygun power plants touted

Simon Neill

Sounds good...sort of.

Would such an array EVER pay for itself? I mean, solar arrays down on earth are expensive enough. Add in the costs of getting the things up there...

Ok, so its more efficient up there, there is less maintenance involved - no birds to shit on the panels and all, but does that difference really cover launching into space? Launching 1kg 100km straight up (roughly edge of atmosphere) requires mgh J of energy = 1 * 9.8 * 100,000.

= 980,000kJ assuming 100% efficiency.

assuming about 20% efficiency this array has to generate approximately 2kWh per kg it weighs just to cover the launch energy, never mind production of the array and the ground facilities. I'm also guessing 1kWh of rocket fuel costs more than 1kWh of electricity.

NASA: 2012 solar flares could DEVASTATE CITIES!

Simon Neill

OMG! It must be true!

I have a despair calendar on my wall...and I hate to tell you guys this, but there are NO PAGES AFTER DECEMBER!!!


HP earns Greenpeace eco-purity snog

Simon Neill

Eco Hippies

"products are short lived" yes, because some twats made us take all the lead out of the solder so now we have to use crapper alternatives.

"products use less energy" great, now they used 10W not 12. But cost twice as much.

"did not agree to use renewables" What, you mean those giant windmills that actually consume more energy in production than they produce in their lifespan?

Guess which side of the debate I am on.

Spanish firm brings 20MW solar ‘ranch’ online in Arizona

Simon Neill


Well, they don't. That is the MASSIVE problem with a lot of renewables - they aren't dependable.

However, if we can replace a gas power plant with a solar one we are saving emissions. Only works in places with dependable good weather though. Then the nuclear/coal plants that can't be switched on and off at will carry the load at night.

Ofcom boss warns of low interest in 'superfast' broadband

Simon Neill

This is the title of my post.

Currently I'm on VM 10Mb. I download happily at 1.3MB/s regularly. So I get the speed advertised. Until they throttle.

Soooo, I could upgrade to the 50Mb package. 50Mb line, no limits. But it costs a HECK of a lot more, when all I really want is 10Mb with no limits. 1.3MB/s is plenty for everything I do. Ok, downloading a 20GB game off steam takes a while, but going 5x faster is not really going to help me. Its still likely to be a "leave it on overnight" job.

as for these 100 and 200Mb packages they are offering, I honestly don't know what I'd do with them. Downloading steam games is the worst I do and I am never in a rush for that to happen.

US Supremes liken GPS tracking to 1984's Big Brother

Simon Neill

Difficult issue.

On the one hand, I have no problem with someone knowing everywhere I drive. 95% of it is to work and back.

On the OTHER hand, if this sort of thing becomes legal we start slapping the things EVERYWHERE and false positives become a massive risk.

Lets say we are tracking a serial killer, he's killed 3 people. So we slap 20,000 GPS units on random cars. It turns out that you get a hit on someone who goes to the same 3 places as the killer and arrest them and later jail them on that basis. Oops, it was just coincidence and their defense lawyer sucked.

I know, its an extreme situation. It probably wouldn't happen on the grounds that 20,000 * 3000 pages is a metric ****ton of paper, but I hope you see the point I am trying to make.

Production electric motorcycle breaks 100 mile range

Simon Neill

As usual

Suspiciously quiet on the recharging front.

100 miles is great and all, but if I then have to plug it directly in to heysham power plant for 6 months to get another 100 miles its not that useful. The glory of petrol is that I can fill my tank in seconds and drive off.

@"silent motorbikes would be deadly"

I know I'm speaking as a diehard car driver, but seriously - I had a guy on a bike overtake me (doing ~55mph) accelerating so hard he was doing a wheelie, nearly hitting oncoming traffic. Until I stop seeing shit like that happen I'm going to have ZERO sympathy for bikers who get in accidents and try to blame the car. For legal reasons I'm not going to tell you what the speed limit was.