Posts by Darryl

Samsung: Ta-da! We made $7.8bn. What do you mean you expected another BILLION?

Looks like it's working out pretty well, they made $7.8 billion after giving away hundreds of millions to the people who made them all that money.

Android will ship more than ONE BILLION mobes+slabs in 2014

Congratulations, you win the coveted "First to trot out a tired, old, wildly inaccurate analogy" award!

Intel ditches McAfee brand: 'THANK GOD' shouts McAfee the man

We've dealt with the enterprise versions of Norton, TrendMicro, and McAfee, and McAfee wins... You haven't lived until you've seen McAfee's 'McShield' product using up 98% of processor resources on a dual core machine because you had the nerve to copy a zip file.

'BILLION-YEAR DISK' to help FUTURE LIFEFORMS study us

Re: "Microsoft Office 1002014 cannot read this file"

The year 2,362,127 - the year of Linux on the desktop?

Bill Gates is once again the richest man on Earth

..as far as you know...

Re: Africa

Paul McCartney says GMOs are evil, so it must be true?

Mars One's certain-death space jolly shortlists 1,000 wannabe explorers

Re: Medical Officer. *Chief* Medical Officer.

Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not an astronaut!

Big Brother Mars

At least the weekly evictions should be interesting...

Coca Cola slurps millions of MAC addresses

Re: Thirsty!

Jesus, what a way to wreck a glass of perfectly good Coke.

Re: I can see it now... (Part 2)

Drinking Coke KILLS people. Just last week a young girl on Vine Street was KILLED because she drank a Coke. People are DYING all over the world because they drank Coke.

I'll bet nobody is brave enough to admit to being killed while drinking Coke.

Please repost this to your status if you have ever been killed while drinking Coke

Jokesters develop new cryptocurrency using Kanye West's face

Re: And remember

No, hobbits are less hairy

iPhone fanbois outsmart fandroids in totally reliable test of brain power

Re: Not what it's cracked up to be

Actually, wouldn't the third answer be 11?

11 x 9 = 99

Good quiz, alright

Alicia Keys throws in towel on BlackBerry's creative director job

Re: Return on investment?

Well, there was that time when she tweeted from her iPhone about how much she loved using Blackberries

Microsoft tries to trademark 'Mod' in the US

Re: A Trademark is not a Patent

Ahem...

'The English speaking countries and the American speaking country."

No plural on the 2nd one

You're welcome

Glassholes, snapt**ts, #blabbergasms, selfies and PRISM: The Reg's review of 2013

I thought it was funny that the OED chose 'selfie' as their word of the year, and today, the University of Michigan chose it as the most annoying word of the year, according to their 29th annual list.

I'm leaning toward agreeing with the UofM on this one.

Apple loses sauce, BlackBerry squashed and Microsoft, er, WinsPhones (Nokia's)

Re: iOS 7

There's a big difference between preference and waking up one morning to "Oh, my phone has an upgrade ready. I'd better allow it."

Re: Everyone should keep a pre-2003 Nokia mobile...

Excellent choice. Old Nokias make great weapons.

Britain's costliest mistake? Lord Stern defends his climate maths

Re: one small problem : "both halves of the debate"

AC didn't say 'consensus', he said 'mainstream', so that's OK, right?

Saucy Snapchat addicts EXPOSED: Exploit code to poke holes goes wild

I wonder how long tech companies are going to keep up this "LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!" approach to dealing with (or not dealing with) security experts telling them "Hey, guys, there's a big Effing* hole in your system"

(*From Effing Forest - Just finished my Christmas copy of Raising Steam.)

HP clampdown on 'unauthorised' server fixing to start in January

Good news for Dell's server sales division?

Curiosity gets an OS upgrade, plans new round of selfies

One question that hasn't been asked

Does the new OS have an Instagram app built in so that it can share the selfies?

Eggheads give two robots vodka and tell them to text each other FOR SCIENCE

As a Canadian

I'd like to point out that true Canucks should've used either rye whiskey or beer.

Gift-giving gotchas: How to avoid Xmas morning EMBARRASSMENT

Re: Good Advice

The hardest part (honest!) is "testing" the battery life. You know, how long can it be played before the battery wears out? And, as with most tech gear, optimum battery life is only reached after a few charge/discharge cycles, so the only truly considerate thing to do is to use it for a few days/weeks straight to ensure that everything is working perfectly.

Feminist Software Foundation gets grumpy with GitHub … or does it?

Re: So would forking a program written in C+=

Ain't gonna be no forking around here, you misogynistic pig.

Re: Does it work?

Not unless you tell it what a great job it's doing and how much you respect it first.

James Bond's 'shaken not stirred': Down to trembling boozer's hands, claim boffins

Re: Will he also have a vasectomy?

Next Bond car to be a Prius?

Re: So Bond is "fiction"

Wait, are you saying the Doctor isn't fiction?

I KNEW it!

Suffering SPITZER! Boffins discover Milky Way's MISSING ARMS

Re: … both surveys were looking for different things

I think it's just that Spitzer is biased and discriminatory toward fatter stars, which are obviously uncool.

Samsung poaches Apple store guru for US retail push

Don't know about over there, but back in the 80's and 90's (when Sony was cool), there were Sony stores everywhere here. Didn't stop all of the big retail chains from selling and promoting Sony.

No anon pr0n for you: BT's network-level 'smut' filters will catch proxy servers too

Ah, but if you listen to a lot of the people campaigning for filters like these, you watching porn will turn you into a rapist, which can harm a lot of people.

Zuck you! Facebook introduces 'Dislike' button... in Messenger

Re: because there's no other way to express an emotion

Or a short handwritten note dropped in the snail mail.

Smarty Ring promises technology at your fingertips

Scott Adams - Visionary

Dilbert did this over 15 years ago:

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1998-09-12/

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Ten tech treats from yesteryear

Re: Handspring Visor Deluxe

Not just computing devices either. I remember seeing microwave ovens, irons, televisions, and vacuum cleaners in curvy, translucent 'bondi blue' at Best Buy in the late 90's.

Samsung loses against Apple ... this time in SOUTH KOREA

They didn't specify which patents they were referring to? Maybe they were thinking of something that Apple did infringe on?

"keyboard keys used to always match the colour of the casing"

If we're picking nits, that's not true either. More than a few laptops were made with silver keys in a grey or black case. A lot of Dells from last decade had black keys in a grey case.

Ten top tech toys to interface with a techie’s Christmas stocking

Re: Tado

Does it actually save 20(ish) percent on heating bills, though? I see all the claims on the website, but there are other things to consider, like is it a 20% saving over a 1960's dial thermostat or a modern programmable, for instance...

Quadrillion-dollar finance house spams Reg reader with bankers' private data

Re: a quadrillion

I thought you were making a comment on exchange rates

NO XMAS PRESENTS FOR Google Now and Siri: Chirpy scamps get a C+

Re: Used both, Google WAY better.

Whenever you see "Gene Munster" in a comparison between an Apple product and a competing product, you can safely deduct one point from the Apple score and add one point to the competitor's to get you a much more real-world score.

Gene's known to be quite Apple-centric.

Exploits no more! Firefox 26 blocks all Java plugins by default

Actually, you can move the buttons around. Just go into 'customize toolbar' and you can drag buttons and stuff around wherever

Blighty could put a (WO)MAN on MARS by 2040, says sci minister

Instruments, sure, as long as you don't send any Lucas electrics

Malware+pr0n surge follows police op to kill illicit streaming sites

Re: Agile hosting always wins

It's the IP version of security theatre.

"Look at us! We shut down 40 whole websites! We've made the web legal!"

All the while conveniently ignoring the 80 new sites that popped up in the same amount of time.

This one time at Apple Camp... Tech titan offers to school US fanbois on coding

Re: You can get one of the best paying jobs in the world.

My thoughts exactly...

You can get one of the best paying jobs in the world... Or you can get mine.

Apple sends in the bulldozers as Fruit Loop construction begins

Re: Its construction will be revolutionary...

Unfortunately, it will be impossible to repair

Boffins devise world's HARDEST tongue-twister

Just wondering

While reading the original and speaking it to myself (quietly - I'm at work and people here think I'm halfway off my rocker already) and then doing the same with all of the examples in the comments, something occurred to me... These are all a LOT easier to say and repeat when you're looking at the words. When I try to say them from memory, I get screwed up every time, but I can blast through them by just reading them aloud.

Anyone else find this?

Hear that? It's the sound of BadBIOS wannabe chatting over air gaps

Re: Gaps

Vacuum gaps?

Wanted, sysadmins. Must be able to hold breath for long periods of time

Those crappy audio couplers used to link computers over landlines were also loud, much lower frequency, and speaking directly to each other over a telephone line. A lot harder to do in ultra high frequencies (so people can't hear) across a room full of noises.

Two million TERRIBLE PASSWORDS stolen by malware attackers

Re: What is the solution?

"reset your password every single time you use a service"

I sort of do this with a lot of passwords. Not on purpose, but the once a year that I might log into some software company's updates page or similar, there's no way in hell that I'm going to remember what I used as a password, let alone which email address I used to sign in, so I make good use of their 'Forgot my password' button. Then I just have to try a few email addresses until it recognises one.

Icahn rallies the troops to pump Apple for cash at next shareholder meeting

Poor Carl... He's used to being a big, important shareholder and having a real voice in how the company pays him off arranges buybacks and dividends. Now he's involved in a huge company where his multi-billion dollar investment still only qualifies him as a bit player.

Accused Glasshole driver says specs weren't even turned on for traffic stop

Re: Ban 'em, I say...

And pilots get a whole lot more training on controlling their machine, including processing all of the extra data input than your average putz driving a minivan.