* Posts by Dan Collett

29 posts • joined 12 Oct 2007

Spacewalking astronaut drops toolbag

Dan Collett

Could of been worse......

they could of let go of a disc full of peoples private data!

ET Credit Fraud anyone?

Follow the Somali pirate scourge via Google mashup

Dan Collett
Paris Hilton

I've got it!

Look at the live map. They all sail round the equator why not just sail the long way round?!?!?!

Paris because she knows what its like to be boarded by a load of seamen!

Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage

Dan Collett

I cant believe no one has posted...

Love struck,

Ive fallen for a lampost,

givin' her my utmost,

spilling out my deepest feelings....

Look it up!

Coat please......

Israeli eggheads in pinhead bible publishing breakthrough

Dan Collett

@ All those who are asking about the needle.....

Go look it up on wikipedia :-)

Milton Keynes council embraces WiMAX

Dan Collett
Thumb Up

I live in MK...

And the infrastructure isnt that bad! Better than Swindon for a start! Regularly see my connection sat at 8Meg!

This does sound like a good idea for those who dont want a telephone line!

Truth, anonymity and the Wikipedia Way

Dan Collett
Paris Hilton

What does...

Paris have to say?

@ Joe Stalin - I think you may have a piont there! Mac fans are generally the most self importnat muppets you'll meet but the wiki lot really crackpots!

Nintendo Wii said to 'attract cockroaches'

Dan Collett


Hmmmm me thinks you have accidentaly read the wrong report. The word raoches shouldnt have been included

BBC redesigns and 'widgetizes' homepage

Dan Collett


What a name! I frequent the news site but the rest of the beeb site i pretty much ignore!

Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's

Dan Collett


What shame such a talented author. But that will teach him for making fun of death ;-)

Welcome to the El Reg bumper demographic survey

Dan Collett


Couldnt give a rats arse what people think about the US spelling!

Letz b onst ere we av spwnd sum kinda chav spk here innit!

I would rather read yank (err no offence guys i am a big fan of the US and actually might get the oppurtunity to visit on a holiday (or vacation as you know it ;-) ) next year if i am lucky!) than that kind of dribble! For now i will raise a beer to the reg another year and another good excuse to be surfing the net from work. This is one of the few sites i can sit on all day having it open and not get whinged at! My boss even emailed round a link or after i forwarded them on!

I would like to oppurtunity to win more from you guys and dont tell me you have nothing, the freebies you guys must recieve even if they are crap...pens, notepads etc must be worth chucking out on a survey win!

Paris Hilton cavorts naked in middle of desert

Dan Collett
Paris Hilton

I just dont see...

The Paris Hilton relevance of this!

w00t voted 'Word of the Year'

Dan Collett

@ Rob....

Since when was french an acceptable/real language? :)

Dan Collett

S0 it r34lly is....

All your base are belong to us! f0r 2oo7 th3n!

Smut vid outfit sues PornoTube

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Fark attempts to trademark NSFW

Dan Collett


your NSFW are belong to fark!

(no i cant think of anything more original that this!)

They really were farked from the offset. Fark the farking farkers, the farking farkers, farked!

How much does El Reg cost the global economy?

Dan Collett
Thumb Up

Thanks for that. The current cost of El Reg to the global economy is £73656.25 after 4463 votes


73656.25/4463= £16.50(i rounded down) Per reghead! Thats enough for a few beers and a bag of nuts each down the nuclear should reg decide to share its new found wealth with its loyal fan base ;)

Wikipedia black helicopters circle Utah's Traverse Mountain

Dan Collett
Black Helicopters


...your Wiki are belong to us!!

on a side note didnt Jasper Carrot do a sketch about his mate who used the word "Wiki" to bullshit his way around China?

Newly-homeless kids get free iPod

Dan Collett
Thumb Up


The thought that counts i guess!

That said its a kind gesture from the folks at Apple. Why must eveyone be so cynical about it? I mean they could have just done nothing and ignored it. They made a gesture that shows that they are in part human. People who are saying "its not going to make up for loosing there house" or "Yeah life would just not be worth living without those JobsPod. And we wonder whats going wrong with the world when these are the values we are positively encouraging."

You are all clearly missing the piont! That or you expected Jobs to front up 100 houses! They arent using it as some mass ad campaing, they arent poking there nose in they did a kind gesture for a bunch of kids who must be feeling pretty down! Yeah you have no house and life is a bit sh*t at least someone has done something kind for them!

Beer makes people have sex with you

Dan Collett

To Alchohol.....

The cause and solution to all of lifes problems....

Well someone had to!

Geek gifts for Christmas

Dan Collett
Paris Hilton


May i suggest washing you mouth out with somthing such as Fairy Liquid you heathen!

I want to know what Paris thinks of this list?

Question mark over Tony Blair web privacy policy

Dan Collett
Thumb Down


What an aweful website. May i suggest a new headline.....

"Waste of space Prime Minister presents, Waste of Bandwidth"

BOFH: Workplace accidents = 0

Dan Collett
Thumb Up

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome.....

As always........Although one cant help but miss the satisfaction that comes from high voltage Kzzzzeeerrrrrttt!

Oh the good ol' days!

Drunk US man asks drunk son to take the wheel

Dan Collett


How irresponsible and reckless of the guy! Surely the kid isnt at fault here. I mean he is still a minor and cannot be truely held resposible here as he was drunk. no doubt because of the father therefor the kids judgement will have been impared surely? What a disgrace!

Just thanks Jebus no one was hurt!

Poor lad :(

BOFH: How dangerous are your users?

Dan Collett
Gates Horns


"Your users are so feeble minded you're lucky they can manage a keyboard without filling it with dribble."

Oh my what a rather apt assesment!

Met's de Menezes photo 'manipulated', says prosecution

Dan Collett


The police fiddle evidence?!?!?! never......... they c0cked up and got the wrong guy so they are trying to cover it up! Of course they will have fiddled it. Stupid people!

Also editing in Power Piont? Hmmmmmmmmm.........

Plan for 20mph urban speed-cam zones touted

Dan Collett

So does this mean that.....

Tractors will finally be capable of "speeding" offences lol!

Alien attack? Yes, we're ready for anything

Dan Collett


George W has a whole panel of advisors to answers these questions for him in pretty pictures why does he need to ask these questions in public? lol. (For those not in UK this joke may go over your heads and for that i am sorry) (but then if you arent in the UK and watch Family Guy you still might get it :) )

Seriously though the kid does raise a good piont we are not at a piont in our technoclogy where we could effectively take on a rac who are capable of interstellar travel! The shielding requirements for such a voyage alone would mean that non of our conventional weapons would stand a chance. I hate to be the one to explain this too him that his government is probably most likely completely less than unprepared!

N.B all the above is theoretical of course i am not some nut who sits at home worrying about alien invaders wearing Tinfoil hats! But i am up for discussing this kind of thing after about 10 pints!

SysAdmin of the Year deadline draws near

Dan Collett
Dead Vulture

RE: Re: Simon Travalgia

http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/ read and get educate. He is a legend in his own network

YouTube gatecrashers trash 16th birthday bash

Dan Collett
Thumb Down


What the f0rk?

Although interestingly it doesnt detail how the details ended up on myspace!


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2022