* Posts by Kieron McCann

57 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Oct 2007


Apple iPhone 3GS

Kieron McCann

@ Andrew Campbell 1

Thanks for that. Tethered chocks away!

Please don't eat your horse, EU asks owners

Kieron McCann

I highly recommend....

...horse jerky and horse salami. It's popular in Russia and is great with beer.

Horses - they're just whinnying cows.

Dutch cat skinner publishes critics' personal details

Kieron McCann
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@ Sarah Bee

Why is it more complicated than that? I have no issues with eating cat (no that's not a euphemism). If you can kill and eat a cow why not a cat, rat, raccoon, badger or goldfish? It seems pretty simple to me. Maybe that's why you have no basis to moderate this repeated discussion because the logic and morality is pretty binary.

Ask the Chinese and the French - they'll eat anything - and make handbags out of anything for that matter.

On the art front I think this does a brilliant job of holding a mirror up to the fashion industry, consumerism, exploitation of animals and inconsistent morals. It's quite brilliant.

I actually hope that she ate the cat after making the handbag out of respect.

BNP pleads for cash after reported DDoS assault

Kieron McCann

Marxists? In Russia?

Was Mr Griffin transported in a time warp from some 1930's nazi time travel experiment?

The only Marxists left in Russia are the infamous 'Red Grannies' of Nevsky Prospect

NZ couple do bunk with £3.9m bank error

Kieron McCann

@ AC 9:29

"They are thifes. Pure and simple. Please grow up, and stop reading the daliy fail."

one assumes that you read publications with larger typeface, judging by your spelling.

NZ Telecom in 'deep' with Apple

Kieron McCann

@ Joel

You're here for the same reasons that most of us are - you get paid three times more, taxed half as much and it doesn't take 12 hours flying time to get somewhere without Australians.

Kieron McCann

@ Don't blame the mainlanders

That's because if it were run from the South Island all phones would need to be operated by those with six fingers

Charges against London tube tourist snapper thrown out

Kieron McCann
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Compare and contrast with...



An amazing award winning photo blog taken exclusively on the New York subway. Wouldn't get that here.

Carphone Warehouse buys Tiscali UK

Kieron McCann

@ Stephen Gray

You know, initially your post came across as being quite helpful. But then you went and ruined it all by breaking in to a mini rant that not only abuses the poster you were responding to but also every Register reader?

Many of us are tech literate and fully understand the physics of DSL. It may surprise you to know that there are other network engineers who read El Reg who know just as much as you do big boy. So I wouldn't be so quick to hop on your intellectual high horse

Most tellingly however, you then go on to tell us that you work for TT and in doing so confirm many of our perceptions that your company is operated by a complete bunch of arse sucking c**ts. From big fat Charles all the way down to egotistical pricks such as you.

Amazing how the the opinions of those reading your post could go from positive to extremely negative in a few sentences isn't it?

Private ID scans leave fetish club-goers feeling exposed

Kieron McCann

er, obvious solution

move it to a new venue.

Phorm director advises UK.gov broadband minister

Kieron McCann

@typical el Reg fail

Kent, if you're going to post please use your real name

Brussels to sue UK over Phorm failures

Kieron McCann

V for...


IPS misses its ID cards for foreigners target

Kieron McCann
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You heard it from a Reg reader first

congratulations to Reg reader 'The BigYin' who predicted this here : http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/03/24/id_cards_voluntaryish/comments/

So now there will be an easy way to link banking transactions, purchases, international travel and(if you have an integrated Oyster Card) your public transport travel habits in one easy database. Roll in biometric info and you have fingerprints and probably DNA. How can people not see this?

Conficker suspect brought to book in Beavertown?

Kieron McCann


It would have been good to know that the link to the Babrusk web site is most certainly NSFW

Wacky Jacqui spanked by husband

Kieron McCann
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Oh oh oh....

...oh the irony!

the sweet, unctuous, delicious irony!

There are so many jokes I don't even know where to start!






Kiwi telecom inks contract with convicted hacker

Kieron McCann


Er, nope. TCL hired him because they've realised that they are about as much use as a cat flap in an elephant house and are desperate to do ANYTHING to change the game. They haven't got a clue.

Next stop will be hiring witch doctors.

How police busted UK's biggest cybercrime case

Kieron McCann

In light of recent events...

I'd say this isn't the biggest crime to have been committed in the City of London. £200-odd million is chicken feed in comparison to the billions lost in 'legitimate' business, pension swindles and extravagant bonuses. They could do a lot worse than having the odd 'cyber criminal' fleecing them once in a while rather than their own employees.

Mine's the one with the taxpayer funded golden parachute on the back

Irish ISPs rally against record label anti-piracy threat

Kieron McCann
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Now if only the rest of the world would stick it to the recording industry.!

YouTube blocks music videos in UK

Kieron McCann

@ Simon Brown

er, who uses You tube to stream music in to their work place? I would have thought that the advantage of You tube was that it streamed the content instead of users downloading it. That way if they like it so much then they will go out and buy it.

If someone has listened to your music on You tube a few times and still not been motivated to go and buy it, it's probably that your music just isn't good enough.

Either that or they've gone and downloaded it on torrent, in which case you have to consider whether the business model you have chosen for distributing your music is the right one. Because although you may be seeing a meager income the record companies and the PRS really aren't doing you any favours when you could be doing something else more profitable with your material such a distributing yourself online.

I suppose it's easier to blame someone else that to examine your own shortcomings or lack of effort.

UK IT should 'fire men first', says Kate Craig-Wood

Kieron McCann

A little bit of reason

Well I was going to bleat on about how ridiculous this idea is and then I read through the comments - Christ, no wonder there are fewer women in IT. I happen to know a couple of female IT managers who are very very good (oh and one of them also happens to be a fox but that's beside the point).

They have to alternately cope with managing resentful geeks who cannot deal with the fact that a 'chick' knows more than they do and managing spotty little nerds who cum in their pants every time they have a conversation with them. The comments on here seem to back that up.

It's little wonder that IT is an attractive option for many women.

Having said that, statistics on gender equality can be very misleading. For example if you believed gender pay gap statistics, you would have to believe that Moslem women earned more than Moslem men. This is due to the fact that Moslem women in employment tend to be more highly educated than their male counterparts - by virtue of the fact that many have worked very hard to break away from traditional gender roles. However, this obscures the fact that many Moslem women are not in paid employment so despite earning more on average, the vast majority of the income generation in the Moslem community lies with males.

Similarly, I simply don't believe that the pay gap is as big for EXCACTLY the same jobs. It most likely has to do with the nature of the jobs that women tend to do. These are more focused on roles such as support, help desk etc which pay less (another generalisation but one which tends to be true in more than the IT industry).

In the end though this is just sensationalism that provokes a knee-jerk reaction which does nothing to further the role of women in IT and provokes the small minded dickheads above.

Home Office plans to force CCTV on shops and pubs

Kieron McCann

Who thinks of this shit?

I'd like to know because I would like to give them a firm kick in the trouser department.

What's next ID cards and CCTV required to purchase high fat foods - oh f*ck I've just given them another idea. Self administering trouser kick now!

Minister trashes ex-spook chief's liberty warning

Kieron McCann


"Even to use such language so loosely plays in to the hands of our enemies."

If by 'Enemies' you mean the tax paying British public, then yes, it does. Somehow I get the feeling that we are now all enemies of the state.

Jesus Christ, just when I thought it could'nt get any worse than Jackboot Smith, they wheel out this fucking vacuous ingnorant turd. The government appears to be a bottomless cesspit of increasingly talentless authoritarian facists. I've scraped more intelligent things off the bottom of my shoe. It's almost as if they know that they're going to be flushed down the toilet next year and are out to implement a scorched earth policy on our rights and freedoms.

And I have zero expectations that the Tories will do anything to repeal any of the Stalinist legislation that has been implemented over the last 10 years.

Where's the queue for the riot?

Photography rights: Snappers to descend on Scotland Yard

Kieron McCann

Maybe this is why they don't like photographers


I took this last year at the anti-George Bush demonstration. With no provocation whatsoever the police decided to wade in to the crowd with steel truncheons and beat the hell out of people who were doing nothing more than exercising their right to protest. I posted this last year but given the law change I guess that now makes me a criminal.

There is something seriously wrong with a country when the police are given virtually unlimited power and nobody appears to have the ability to hold them to account.

Vladimir Putin bitchslaps Dell-boy

Kieron McCann
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We Love You Vova

Ok, so if we overlook the rather inelegant suppression of opposition parties and rubbing out of journalists for a moment, you can't honestly say that you would not like to have national leader like Putin.

Like it or not, he is the most savvy world leader today. He's transformed Russia and greatly improved the standard of living of it's citizens by bringing stability and a (gradually) increasing distribution of wealth. Most importantly, he is not intimidated by the US and rightly says that a world dominated by a single superpower is more dangerous than one with a careful balance of power. George Bush proved that point for all of us.

It's just unfortunate that he lacks the elegance to win elections without suppressing the opposition, but there again who are we to talk, ZaNuLabour have started that themselves in recent months.

El Reg - don't go eating any sushi offered to you by members of the Labour party

Digital Britain: A tax, a quango and ISP snooping

Kieron McCann
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Re Vision Thing

Ahhh, that brings back some good memories - thanks for that.

I need more!

US woman says Ubuntu can't access internet

Kieron McCann

Well Done El Reg

You guys must have been waiting to kick of the new year with a good old fashioned vicious fanboy flame war. Only 16 days in to the year and mission accomplished!

This is going to be a good year!

PS: Any Linux fanboy who thinks that Linux is ever going to make it in the big time probably believes that the moon landing was faked, 911 was a CIA plot and Elvis is flipping burgers in Argentina

Cows can't detect earthquakes: Official

Kieron McCann


They were Schrodinger's Cows

Oz net censorship apparatus to target BitTorrent

Kieron McCann

It's no surprise really...

Don't get me wrong, I quite like Austalians (a rare thing for a New Zealander)

In recent years Australia has moved closer and closer to the US. They have a lot in common, they are both federalist states comprised of separate state governments, they are countries which were founded by integrating immigrant communities, they both took their nations by conquest at the expense of the indigenous population and they have both become increasingly xenophobic in their world outlook.

Combine that with a strong British heritage you also get a reluctance to speak out, general inertia about erosion of privacy and an otherwise docile electorate.

The result? An increasingly insular and paranoid nation that fancies itself as a regional superpower. Sound familiar?

The great Firewall of Australia is something that the US would most probably have implemented by now if the constitution allowed for it. Unfortunately for us, one implemented in Australia it will be used as a model by every other government.

@ Shay McLaughlin you know as well as I do that it's only a matter of time before the NZ government will want to follow in the footsteps of our bigger brother across the Tasman. Lacking the funds to build our own I wouldn't be surprised if we sign up to using the Aussie firewall. Another step closer to becoming a new state of Australia..

More execs quit Phorm

Kieron McCann

run "phorm' last gasp" ,8,1

10 IF "ship" = sinking THEN "rats" = leaving

20 GOTO 10

2008's top three music phones

Kieron McCann

Fanboys - I dont get 'em

First they whinge that the Jesus phone doesn't win the smart phone category and then they whinge when it wins the music phone category.

They wont be happy until we build a giant shine and sacrifice 1000 virgins at the alter of the great Jobs.

Thankfully if this were to happen those virgins are likely to be Jesus Phone Fanboys because apparently they go to parties and discuss phones and never get laid.

Virgin Media to dump neutrality and target BitTorrent users

Kieron McCann

@ Glen

Actually, although Japan might be geographically longer, the real issue is population density. Japan's population density is 337 per sq km, and Korea's is at 498. In contrast, the UK is at 246 per sq km.

Furthermore, if you bothered to look at your atlas properly, you might have seen some geographic features called mountains running down the centre of Japan, which forces the population in to some very densely packed conurbations. This means you get a hell of a lot more subscribers per metre of network in

Mine's the one with the much better value Tokubetsu Kyuko tickets in the pocket.

Trouble in Paradise iTunes Land

Kieron McCann
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@ sleepy and Joe Cooper

Yes, the de-authorisation process is nice in theory, until your laptop dies or gets stolen. Then you cant de-authorise it. I am now down to three licences due to these two reasons. I'm also assuming that the ar*ehole who stole my lappy is still enjoying my rather eclectic (some may say crap) music collection.

It would be nice if apple allowed you to de-authorise a machine from any other machine - after all, they must store the details somewhere, why cant they show them to you? Oh yes, I know that there is the annual de-authorise everything option, but that is simply a pain in the balls.

Harvard prof slams US nut allergy hysteria

Kieron McCann

@Captain Jamie

You were born with defective genes. Do us all a favour, eat a bag of nuts before you pass them on you whingeing little turd.

Jesus, where is Darwin when you need him?

Great article by the way - an American with common sense, someone clone him!

Lords told to listen to science on cannabis

Kieron McCann


What exaqui does whacky Jacqui have agaist the whacky backy?

She needs to check the faqui

Its useage has been dropping backy

She must be smoking cracky

And should be given the saqui

Mine's the brown maqui with the hashy stashy in the bacqui

Jacqui Smith trails überdatabase plans

Kieron McCann
Black Helicopters

I have had enough...

..of that fat screeching old fishwife! She should give up smoking crack because her levels of paranoia are getting out of hand. Does it not strike anyone as ridiculous that the only people in this country who are interested in protecting our civil liberties are a the unelected toffs in the house of lords?

something is seriously wrong with this country.

UK.gov £12bn comms überdatabase 'wouldn't spot terrorists'

Kieron McCann

Modeled on commercial fraud detection systems?

So the idea is to model the system on today's successful fraud detection systems is it? Well my bank seems to phone me or cancel my debit and credit cards on a monthly basis. This it apparently due to such "suspicious" activities as:

Making an online purcase

Making an offline purchase

Using your card in another country (I regularly visit such lawless states as France)

Using your card at all.

The consequences of these false positives is that I am usually without the use of a credit or debit card for about a week. The consequences of this super snooping database is that the police kick in my front door and hold me without charge for 42 days while they ransack my house to try pin something on me.

This has gone too far

BT's secret Phorm trials: UK.gov responds

Kieron McCann
Black Helicopters

Oh yeah, how does it go...

...if you have nothing to fear, you have nothing to hide....

The reluctance of UK Gov to disclose their response smells fishier and fishier. I'm wagering £100 right here that the home office has stitched up a secret deal with BT to arrange a back door in to Phorm so that they can snoop on whoever they like. Any takers? Prove me wrong.

God I hate the new icons

Reg readers rage at comment icon outrage

Kieron McCann

Adolf Hitler

Because there are some comment nazis here (like me)

PS the smileys, the heart and the gay flame icon really really REALLY suck - I mean who wants to flame someone with something that looks like it's out of a f*king Noddy book. I want FLAMES, FLAMES you hear?? TOXIC, red burning FLAMES muuuhhahahhhahahaa

And dont get me started on the jolly roger replacement. A jolly roger is supposed to be menacing, not something that looks like it's been nicked from Bebo.

Is your new graphic designer on secondment from cee bee bees?

Slimmer and lighter cameras promised

Kieron McCann
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just a camera for Photards

Woopdedooo - it's a point and shoot camera with interchangeable lenses. Serious photographers will still want to actually see what they are taking a photo of, not a digital rendition of what they are taking a photo of through a crappy LCD display.

One assumes that although the sensor size stays the same, the increased magnification from the smaller lense elements increases the risk of visible distortion?

Nike pulls Air Stab trainers

Kieron McCann

Re: Air Stab?

Yeah, they're all a bunch of Air Soles

Info commissioner says comms database is leap too far

Kieron McCann

Reg Quiet On Phorm

The Reg has gone all quiet on Phorm - have you moved on? Is the issue not bossting readership? Do you still care?

The Moderatrix will see you now

Kieron McCann

Can you tell me...

number of women sporting arse antlers goes up in proportion to the heaviness of the music played at a rock/metal concert?

Virgin Media ads throttled by peak time bandwidth squeeze

Kieron McCann

The Connection To Your Home Is Not The Problem

It doesnt really matter how fast the connection to your home is, the throttling takes place in the exchange. BT only budgets for 128k of bandwidth per user - so when it's busy you get far more contention at the DSLAM than degradation on your line. Of course there are also some crappy lines out there...

Virgin Media and BPI join forces to attack illegal filesharing

Kieron McCann

What about wifi

"Oh, really? Someone's been doing illegal p2p over my internet connection??"

"Well I don't really know very much about computers, I don't know what that means"

"Why no, I havent turned on encryption on my wireless router - you mean that someone has been accessing my unencrypted wireless connection and downloading music"

"I suppose I'll need to get in touch with my Starbucks/McDonalds/KFC/Costa head office and tell them that we need to stop offering free wifi".....

Russian crackers spread nuclear panic

Kieron McCann

@ Solomon Grundy

er, did that comment pass down a worm hole from the 80's? Russia is no longer a communist state, meaning that they are not 'commies'.

Today they are a nuclear armed capitalist state intent on using their military and economic strength to brow beat other states to their will and excercise increasing control over their own population to ensure no internal dissent....er, no sorry I just confused them with the USA

Apple okay with Safari 'carpet bombing' vuln for now

Kieron McCann

I'm so smug

Ah yes, I'm all smug and laughing because I installed Linux 6 months ago. It's brilliantly secure and now my PC makes an attractive piece of living room furniture, mainly because I can't get any decently entertaining software that ordinary home users want to use. That's okay though, because I prefer to keep the curtains drawn, smoke reefer and never bathe.

Home Office defends 'dangerously misleading' Phorm thumbs-up

Kieron McCann
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Losing their cool?

"FIPR is abusing its influence and promoting its own agenda by encouraging a frivolous debate about the legality of a legitimate e-commerce business. Internet users would be better served if FIPR focused on the benefits of the online technologies available today rather than undermine the online privacy debate and block technological progress. That would help people to make valid informed choices about the services they want to use"

BT refuse an interview with the Register.

To me it looks like they're getting backed in to a corner, the slimy PR veneer is starting to wear thin. This is good news, the dirtier it gets, the more it will expose Kent and BT as being the money grubbing privacy pimptards that they are.

Michael, the Scooby Doo reference is priceless

Information Commissioner: Phorm must be opt-in only

Kieron McCann
Paris Hilton

And about time too!

So basically what this is telling us is that the original statement by the ICO was written by a drone who didn't bother to ask any searching questions or to give a nanosecond of thought about what Phorm would mean. It looks like all of the pressure brought by El Reg and it's readers is finally bearing fruit!

Paris - because she's now reformed, just like the ICO

Loopy Vista pre-SP1 update fixed with pre-pre-SP1 update

Kieron McCann
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Yep, SP 1 worked fine for me. My machine seems to be much more stable during gaming and also seems to be running a shade faster.

Where is Webster Phreaky when you need him?

MPs pile pressure on ISPs over Phorm

Kieron McCann
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I Won't be voting for Kate Hoey MP

Sent her a lengthy email explaining Phorm and my concerns over three weeks ago and have received no reply - nothing!

She won't be getting my vote.