Posts by Adrian Jones

Facebook gags verbal dissent group

It appears to be back

Clearly the power of El Reg at work! (Or rather, slacking off work and playing with Facebook. :)

Blind Judo master floors tobacco stealing skinhead

But the question is...

How would a blind judo master do against a blind ninja? Or a blind Shaolin monk?

Aztech V500DS-S1 Skype DECT phone

Beauty is clearly in the eye of the beholder

To me, it looks a bit like an old Nokia mobile.

If it really does come in at £81 it might be worth considering, but somehow I doubt that the $-£ conversion rate will resemble anything like reality. It is an IT product, after all.

Get a passport, enjoy casual sex with foreigners

How disappointing.

I just got my new passport on Saturday (sent off on Tuesday, so quite impressed with the turn-around) and thought this was a special offer from the Home Office.

Still, I am now intrigued as to what these other two images could be, if they're shocking even for El Reg!

Dell's Linux sleight of hand

I tried this a couple of weeks ago

And had no problem finding and pricing a Linux box in Sterling.

The problem I had with them was that an almost identically specced Windows box (including the cost of Vista) was slightly cheaper!

Racist Reg hacks slammed for 'vitriolic hatred'

@BigTim

Owen Glyndwr was a Welsh prince. (The last "real" one? I can't remember.) He's featured in Henry IV.

The "Sons of Glyndwr" were a Welsh terrorist group who burned holiday cottages to discourage English holiday makers from visiting Wales. (Hence the old joke, "Come home to a real fire, buy a cottage in Wales")

The Sons of Glyndwr have mostly disappeared now, although some of them might have moved to Cornwall...

Stolen satnav guides thieves to owner's home

Didn't "The Real Hustle" do this a while ago?

ISTR that they set up a fake car park, where they parked the cars for customers. So as well as the car, they also had the keys and a Sat Nav with directions to home.

As an added bonus they found the house keys in the car too.

Gunplay fingered for internet slowdown

Re: cogent network shot

Your poem neither rhymes, nor scans.

Must try harder. :þ

Broadbandit nabbed in Wi-Fi bust

Re: Daft Law

"It's a daft law... If someone leaves a front door open, and you walk in, can you be charge with breaking in? No you can't. Maybe criminal damage if you didn't wipe your muddy feet."

Not a very good analogy.

So it'd be alright to plug in your mobile and start charging it from their electricity too?

Just as it'd be alright to use the bandwidth they're paying for, for your own use? Even if they've got a limit

Wander into my house after I leave the door open and I'll arrest you for trespass. You can be charged with that.

Pirated Simpsons movie traced to phone

RE: If they'd have any sense

So, if people are demanding a whole movie for free, the studios should be giving it to them?

Hmm. Wonder how they'll fund the next one...

Streaking star leaves sweeping tail in its wake

Steaking Star?

My first thought was "Not another Paris bloody Hilton story" (although the "sweeping tail" bit confused me).

The picture, though, is absolutely beautiful. Which just goes to prove that it's nothing to do with Paris Hilton. :)

Upskirting Dutch bloggers head for court

amanfromMars

The worrying thing is, I know someone who talks like that in real life.

Has anyone tried analysing his posts? There are probably secret messages to Them, highlighting subversive ElReg articles...

Oklahoma offers War on Terror numberplates

The one that worries me...

...is "Killed in Action".

Surely that should disqualify you from driving?

Kylie comforts the Time Lord

Comforting?

Usually when the Sun talks about one celeb "comforting" another, it's a little more than an arm around the shoulder!

And if you need an IT angle, you could report on the money that fans at David-Tennant.com raised for the hospice where his mother died.

DVLA turns censor on grubby number plates

'Snot just 57!

They've changed Edinburgh's prefix from SN to TN for the 07 plate, since SN07 looks too much like that offensive word, SNOT.

The Beeb had a piece on it here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/6897494.stm

Cut-price laptops coming forth

I'm almost tempted.

To get a new credit card, with a low limit, and order one of these.

Then see what, if anything turns up in 4-6 weeks.

At least the CC company would refund the money if it's a scam. If they're stealing CC details, then a virgin card would be ideal.

Hmm. Have to be a Mastercard, they've screwed me enough in the past...

The terrorists I party with

The forgotten victims?

If these bombs were really by al Qaeda terrorists, then they would have been trained somewhere.

Imagine what must have been going through the minds of the trainers when the news started coming through of what a monumental cock-up they'd made of it.

I don't expect that al Qaeda's version of Ofstead inspectors is particularly pleasant.

ICSTIS tells sex lines to clean up their act

Presumably the delay...

...is so they can advertise for and appoint someone to call all the sex-lines and check that they're complying with all of ICSTIS's rules.

Could be a popular job.

(btw, I though ICSTIS has undergone a whalesong jos-stick moment and been re-branded?)

Indians slip on tobacco-flavoured condom

I forsee problems

Making a condom taste like something they like *chewing*.

<Winces & crosses legs>

US seeks mini-Imperial Walker mule-bots

For the benefit of Mike Richards

3.3mph is the equivalent of 8,870.4 furlongs per fortnight. Roughly.

Forget the military uses...

...I want to ride one to work!

Just imagine, it could carry me up the stairs and curl up next to my desk. And we could have races around the car-park at lunch time.

Speedy evolution saves blue moon butterflies

Are you sure?

It could have been the direct intervention of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

What's al-Qaeda's take on the iPhone?

Shameless

Including al-Qaeda and iPhone in the one article?

Are these the most searched for words on Google at the moment?

I'm guessing this is a shameless attempt to increase the number of hits on El Reg. They're probably trying to flog themselves to Rupert Murdoch. :)

JP Morgan's iPhone Nano report is rubbish

iPone stories aren't that interesting

But the frothing comments that they generate are even more fun than one gets baiting Mac fanboys.

Keep it up El Reg!

Pensioner used live shell as doorstop

Forget al-Qaeda

It's pensioners that are the biggest risk to our safety!

Core 2 Duo: Intel's insecurity blanket

Is it just me?

That poem above neither rhymes nor scans. Perhaps you should stick to writing comments in prose.

Fon VoIP network being disrupted by protest over Wi-Fi adverts

Nice idea for a protest

But I bet there's some poor bugger in a boat in the middle of that lake, wondering why he still can't get a connection!

Ofcom hands Channel 5 biggest-ever fine

I can't believe it

The questions that "Brainteaser" asked were so ridiculously easy, It's incredible that they couldn't find a correct answer.

British steam car aims for landspeed record

I looked at the appeal page

Expecting to find an ElReg logo prominently displayed.

But nothing.

Can't the hacks at Vulture Central scrape together anything to support our lads (and lasses)?

Sony NAS-50HDE Gigajuke audio system

"Internet connection"

From this together with the prefix "NAS" and your comment that a computer can be "plugged in", are we to infer that it has a network port?

If so, what speed, 10/100 or Gigabit?

Is it visible on the network as a NAS device?

Can it access other machines or NAS devices on the network?

I checked the web page you linked to, but that doesn't have much info. It even states that there's no recording timer, only a playback sleep timer.

Levi's announces mobile phone

Oh great!

They're encouraging people to put them in their back pockets.

Can they add an automatic key-lock when inserted thus?

I get enough silent calls and blank texts from friends' pockets and handbags when they forget to lock their phone without Levi encouraging them!

I'm thinking of changing my name to Zachariah.

Chileans mislay large lake

Enjoyment?

I always enjoy it, when the earth moves for me.

Goodbye ICSTIS, hello PhonePayPlus

On the whole

ICSTIS are a much more effective watchdog than the MPS or TPS.

I've complained about a few companies to ICSTIS. One, running a scam where they sent texts telling me I'd got a message (on a premium rate number, of course), was shut down and fined tens of thousands of pounds. Another company advertised a premium rate number for tech support without giving the price, and kept me on hold for several minutes, never revealing the cost of the call. ICSTIS checked them out and warned them to fix it or they'd be fined.

I've complained to the TPS about several companies who've called my numbers registered with them, but all I get is "We have no powers to impose fines." and "It'll be included in the next report"

Guess which one is run by the industry it's supposed to be policing!

The re-branding has a whiff of jos-sticks and echoes of whale song though...

DARPA scramjet nudges Mach 10

Mach 10?

How do I attach it to the back of a Sinclair C5?

Steve Jobs: struggling to redefine the TV paradigm

The problem with AppleTV over DVDs

Fine, you can download a film to your AppleTV, you might even own it (subject to the fine print of the DRM contract), but if the box gets fried then what?

What if you want to upgrade your box?

How about if you want to lend the film to a friend to watch? I can hand over a DVD without needing to lend them the player too.

Set top boxes with hard-drives like the AppleTV are great for recording tv-shows (OK, so the Apple box doesn't let you record broadcasts, but others do) or for downloading a rented film to watch, but I'd much rather own the media itself as a separate entity that doesn't tie me down to the one hardware supplier.

BOFH: Talking to tradesmen

Is there a technical reason why the BoFH isn't in the RSS Feed?

Neither the main one nor the Odds & Sods.

He should have his own feed!

Eden laptop theft sparks ID theft fears

How many times?

How many times do laptops containing personal details have to be stolen from cars before companies responsible for sensitive details realise that sticking the data on a laptop and leaving it in a car is a really, really stupid idea?

Computer crash causes bad attitude on ISS

It's their own fault

They really shouldn't have upgraded to Vista.

YouTube - uTube showdown stays alive in federal court

Rick, you need to re-read what you quoted.

"The company has operated uTube.com ... since 1996."

"After YouTube's launch in 2005..."

So uTube opened their website 9 years before YouTube came on the scene.

140mph YouTube boy racer facing jail

If he's doing 140Mph

And an MR2 have a rated top speed of 124Mph, then perhaps the car has been "tweaked" a little.

Wonder if his (dad's) insurance company know about it...

Also, if he was filming it on a mobile phone, will he be done for using a mobile as well?

So what's in a URL? The Reg URL?

At the risk of a "me too"

I'd say definitely stick with the .co.uk.

Part of the charm of El Reg is the fact that it's mainly UK based, covers news items of interest to UK techies and has a definite British sense of humour.

The .co.uk emphasises that.

Dutch students brew up powdered alcohol hit

Alcoholic Powder?

So what happens if you snort it?

Google acquires Panoramio

That's because...

...the captions and names are added by the person who uploads them.

Perhaps English speaking people don't upload pictures of London?

Creative Zen Stone MP3 player

I've just read this twice

Where is the capacity of this player mentioned?

OK, I know that at £20 it isn't going to be much, but surely it's a fairly important part of a review?

Mobile phone rays paralyse cars

They've missed a trick here.

They should've announced it as a safety feature to prevent drivers from driving while using a mobile.

Illinois baby issued with firearms permit

"Illinois has some of the toughest gun laws in the country".

So will other states issue guns to a foetus?

Is a sonogram valid as photo ID?

Or has the NRA shot themselves in the foot on this one?

Japan wants levitating trains by 2025

Vulture Eyed?

You say the sweetest things Lucy! :)

Dark mutterings on killer Wi-Fi in schools help no one

When you read "Let's do an official study."

Does anyone else hear Mrs Merton?

Dell waves goodbye to Axim

Typical

I buy an X51v (gorgeous VGA screen BTW) and they axe them.

Now I bet they'll turn up on Morgan at half the price.

Ho hum.

Researchers link human skull size and climate

Is the reverse true?

As the world gets warmer, are people getting more stupid?

It would explain a lot; "reality" TV, Dubya, ID cards and airport security panics to name but a few.