* Posts by Adrian Jones

302 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Mar 2007

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Wiggy scuffle pampernaut lawyers back in court

Adrian Jones

Eh? 24/7/365?

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks in a...

I wish I had SuperVision.

Oh, it's amanfromMars. Must check the author before trying to undestand... :)

(Why won't the comment accept "24/7/365?" as a title? It comes back with "A title is required")

Canada sex shop heist shafts proprietress

Adrian Jones
Heart

So what...

...if it isn't news. We love you for it anyway.

Apple surrenders the Pink (to Microsoft)

Adrian Jones

"more than thirty years after stealing Apple's operating system"

Don't you mean "More than 30 years after stealing the operating system that Apple stole from Xerox"?

Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer

Adrian Jones

Let's face it

It'd need a good hose down afterwards.

You wouldn't want to be on the next flight up otherwise, would you?

ITV gets adverts into video

Adrian Jones

I can just imagine it.

The Starship Enterprise boldly flying past McDonalds and Pizza Hut logos.

That should help drive down ITV's market share even more than the crap programmes they're already showing.

ICO orders LibDems to stop bothering voters

Adrian Jones

Lib Dems?

You'd think they have few enough people voting for them without pissing them off like this.

Caterpillar plans 600 tonne godzilla-lorry robots

Adrian Jones

Brobdingnagian land leviathan?

As opposed to those Lilliputian leviathans?

Still, any excuse to use Brobdingnagian in an article...

Ballerinas and fish-gutters beat techies in UK immigration race

Adrian Jones

UK and Scotland?

Has Scotland seceded from the union now?

US court sides with Janet Jackson's breast

Adrian Jones

Half a million complaints?

Are they sure that all of those half a million people were complaining about Janet's breast?

I'm sure a good proportion of complaints about "seeing a tit on the TV" would've been referring to Justin Timberlake.

MS takes Windows 3.11 out of embed to put to bed

Adrian Jones

My first job...

...I used WfW3.11 on a 386SX, running at 25MHz with 1MB of RAM.

Saving and backing up at the end of the day took me about two and a half hours. Until my boss found me with my feet up on the desk, reading a book.

A memory upgrade arrived the next day. :)

Nvidia throws itself under the bus with chip defect, delays and lost sales

Adrian Jones
Heart

@Sarah Bee

"I would step over my own gran to get to an errant apostrophe."

I think I'm in love.

easyJet warns Expedia: 'Hands off our flights'

Adrian Jones

I'd be tempted

To filter out traffic from Expedia's IP address.

Would there be any legal reason why they wouldn't be allowed to do that?

Yes! It's the Knight Rider satnav!

Adrian Jones

What about a Sat Nag?

http://newsletter.iwoot.com/go.asp?/bIWO001/qTCI3R8/xYWXCR8

Al-Qaeda targets net-connected coffee machine

Adrian Jones

Internet or LAN?

I can understand accessing it over your LAN, but the internet?

I also can't see anything in their instructions as to whether there's a sensor to stop it pouring when there isn't a cup under the nozzle.

Otherwise Al-Qaeda could be hacking into it and pouring lovely rich dark espresso all over your floor.

Now *that* would be a crime against humanity!

T-Mobile doubles 0870 call costs

Adrian Jones

Typical toothless OFCOM

There's no reason for 0870 numbers, other than revenue generation for the company that owns them.

In some cases (Carphone Whorehouse, I'm looking at you) all local branches are given 0870 numbers, the better to fleece their customers.

About time that local rate numbers were charged at local rates and included in price plans, 0870 and premium rate numbers were withdrawn and any phone company that charged for calling a freephone number fined.

AVG scanner blasts internet with fake traffic

Adrian Jones
Pirate

Another AVG problem

A few weeks ago, I discovered that several of my mailboxes in Pegasus had disappeared. Very annoying as one of them was my main box, with hundreds of emails.

I've just realised that it was AVG which deleted them. It's scanned them as an archive, identified a virus (or so it thinks, I'm somewhat doubtful, since I've always deleted anything with a dodgy looking attachment, and one was a simple word document from about 10 years ago!) and moved the whole file to the Virus Vault.

Which then filled up past its default maximum size, so it's deleted several of them.

All without bothering to tell me about it. I only spotted it because I happened to be in front of the screen when a scan finished, saw the pop-up appear and disappear and wondered why it had 40+ warnings. (Cookies, it would appear.) I then discovered that there were several "viruses" found in May and that they'd already been deleted from the vault.

Not very impressed with AVG after all.

Adrian Jones
Unhappy

I did wonder...

Having installed the latest AVG I was impressed that it was now managing to scan my email as it came in. (Using Pegasus with SpamPal usually meant that nothing was able to manage this.) I also spotted the little tick marks (or not) appearing in Google.

I presumed that AVG was looking up data that Grisoft had compiled in advance, rather than scanning each search result as it was found.

There's also an issue that this is eating up the users' bandwith which, although I'm not affected could be a problem with some contracts.

LinkScanner has now been disabled on my machines, until the situation changes.

Dodgy drug sales underpin Storm worm

Adrian Jones
Pirate

Drug pushers

Oddly enough, in amongst the Little Blue Pills and on-line casino ads today, I've had two spams for cigarette sellers in Europe.

Not had them before.

Apple takes the operator's shilling

Adrian Jones

@russell

"I'm very interested to see what actual price O2 do end up quoting for PAYG because I'm sure it will conflict with what Steve has said."

From the O2 website, yesterday:

"Best of all, the new 8GB iPhone won't cost you a penny on our £45 and £75 tariffs. And it's just £99 on our £35 tariff and new £30 tariff."

Doesn't seem to conflict at all with what Steve said.

Adrian Jones

Where to Buy

"Apple is going to have to start selling the iPhone to O2, rather than to the end customers, just as all the other manufacturers do."

Well, according to the Apple website, you can get it from O2 or Carphone Warehouse, who say it'll be available on O2. No mention of it being available to the end customers, from Apple stores.

El Reg celebrates 10th birthday

Adrian Jones
Happy

Congratulations

And here's to another 10 years as one of the bright spots of the internet.

Skype squishes cross-zone scripting bug

Adrian Jones

Patching?

Well, looking in Skype\Phone\ on Windows, there's a 20.8Mb Skype.exe.

So the question should be "Why don't Skype break up a 20.8Mb executable into individual components so that they *can* just patch the flawed code?"

Teen-mum flick gets filmgoers hungry for hamburger phone

Adrian Jones

And...

Mr McDowell had one in his office in Eddie Murphy's Coming To America in 1988.

Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of winter

Adrian Jones
IT Angle

Canada fares better:

Wiarton Willie didn't see his shadow

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2006/02/02/groundhog-060202.html

NASA to beam Beatles song into deep space

Adrian Jones

Billions of planets?

What are NASA paying in royalties?

Are the MPAA building a spaceship?

Barracuda plays the hippie card in Trend Micro patent row

Adrian Jones
Flame

Barracuda?

They're behind that piece of shit Barracuda Spam Firewall, aren't they?

The one that sends messages back to the *faked* sender?

Deserve all they get, the useless bastards.

Beeb's iPlayer reaps streaming traffic dividends

Adrian Jones

@Steve Cooper

The flash version is streamed in IE and FF, but you can still download using iPlayer on Windows.

The programs are available to stream or download for 7 days, then downloaded programs can be watched within 30 days of the broadcast date. (After you start watching you get 7 days before they expire.)

DVLA coughs to data slip

Adrian Jones

@damon Reynolds

Wow, that turns the old Freeserve business model on its head, doesn't it.

Yes! It's the USB retro-style vacuum cleaner

Adrian Jones

@Highlander and Steve

My VAX certainly sucks.

With variable power.

And it shampoos the carpets a treat.

Perhaps you've got the wrong hose attachment on yours?

Asus: 'no plans' for 10in Eee PC

Adrian Jones

I'm just wondering

How you'd buy it in the UK?

http://uk.asus.com/ has a link saying it's available to buy on November 12th, which takes you to http://eeepc.asus.com/uk/ which has a countdown stopped at 000:00:00:00 and the slogan "Easy to Learn, Easy to Work, Easy to Play".

This link takes you to http://eeepc.asus.com/en/ where you can download pictures, but still not buy it.

Obviously it's not "Easy to buy".

GSM jumps from the pocket to the desk top

Adrian Jones
Stop

Not new at all.

ElReg has already reported on such a beast...

http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2006/08/14/spark_fun_rotary_phone/

I think I'd rather have the retro phone.

21st century travel: building your own warp drive

Adrian Jones
Mars

That's a point.

Where is amanfrommars? I haven't seen a comment from him for a while.

(Also, where is Whitehall Street?)

Wannabe US bank robber fails intelligibility test

Adrian Jones
Coat

Part of a health campaign?

This just highlights the importance of getting your flu jab.

Striking writers target Desperate Housewives

Adrian Jones

"hunkered down for a long one"

Now how do I get the image that this produced out of my head?

Fans beseige Shilpa Shetty's mobe

Adrian Jones
Stop

Oi, Lester

I thought the M-word was banned by popular vote?

What's the punishment for its use?

Shuttle crew completes daring wing repair

Adrian Jones
Heart

Cufflinks?

I sense a NASA merchandising opportunity.

Just in time for Conspicuous-consumption-mas too.

Shampoo boffins decode dandruff fungus' DNA

Adrian Jones

"treatment paradigms to alleviate the major impact"

Sound like they've been sniffing the Joss sticks with marketing.

It's an unfortunate pitfall of research that your name may end up forever associated with dandruff fungus.

DARPA looking to verify imported military chips

Adrian Jones

Mad-as-a-bottle-of-crisps?

Is this a new ElReg standard measurement for sanity?

US Army xBot programme halted by IP fracas

Adrian Jones
Coat

The obvious solution

Is to have a Robotic FX droid and a Roomba fight it out for the contract.

Are Craig Charles and Phillipa Forester available?

Pure Digital Evoke 1S DAB digital radio

Adrian Jones

I think I prefer the Marshal amp verson

I mean, does this one's volume go up to 11?

Pipex-Intel WiMAX emerges as Freedom4

Adrian Jones
Coat

Freedom4?

They're not based in Tooting, are they?

British teens offered boozing qualification

Adrian Jones

@Alex

If only you could have learned to spell learned. :)

MasterCard customers hit by system failure

Adrian Jones

My experience of (NatWest) Mastercad

The bastards decided to "upgrade" my card. To one with the same credit limit, interest rate and no extra facilities, except it had the word "platinum" on the card and, of course, a new number. Naturally this screwed up lots of subscriptions and stored card details for companies I deal with, giving me nearly a years worth of emails and letters telling me my old card had been declined.

And did they ask me if I wanted all this hassle for the word "platinum" on my card? Well, they *claim* they sent me a letter, asking me if I wanted to change. Since I didn't receive the letter, and therefore couldn't tell them not to change it, that apparently gave them permission.

They had, of course cancelled the old card before they sent out the unsolicited one, so they insisted that it couldn't be re-enabled.

So, please excuse me while I have a quiet chuckle at their latest cock-up. Safe in the knowledge that I'll never use another Mastercard (or NatWest) again.

Gateway launches iMac-alike all-in-one PC

Adrian Jones

Re: Acorns

I'd keep quiet about that, if I were you, given the latest BOFH...

Greenland's super-melty summer

Adrian Jones

A little vague

"The research revealed that enough snow melted in Greenland this year to cover the surface of the USA more than two times over."

What on earth does "two times over" mean?

To the depth of two snowflakes? Two molecules of water?

I wonder at the quality of the research sometimes, when scientists spout such vague headline-grabbing nonsense.

Vodafone UK loses roamers worldwide

Adrian Jones

@Rob

You are amanfrommars and I claim my £5. :)

Adrian Jones

"The problems weren't universal, but they were global..."

So only those currently on this planet were affected?

Google Maps rolls out the Mesopotamian nil-cubit

Adrian Jones

Google convertor

Can convert speeds into Furlongs per fortnight.

Just type:

speed of light in furlongs per fortnight

into Google and hit Search.

It does less useful conversions like meters into feet and lbs to kgs too. Although I don't think it can cope with standard grapefruit and linguine yet.

Orange speaks out with new voice

Adrian Jones

@voshkin

"If you were to pole 100 people on the street"

You'd probably be arrested. :)

Arctic sea ice loosens grip on Northwest Passage

Adrian Jones

And the black circle?

Is that the hole in the North Pole that provides UFO with access to the hollow centre of the earth?

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