* Posts by Alex

241 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Oct 2007


Hitler had one ball: Official


Fishes.. Dishes

I remember it carrying on..

"Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty bugger, cut off the other when Hitler was small. She threw it into the deep blue sea, the fishes thought it was time for tea. The fishes, got out their dishes, and had scollops and bollocks for Tea!"

That came from my Grandfather who had his crew singing it during torpedo runs whilst being the "belly of the iron beast" (Chief Engineer on RN and Merchant ships)

Smut email hubby claims iPhone glitch

Paris Hilton

"In the interests of rigorous journalism"

LOL!! I think you got more than you bargained for there!!

Paris, just for pleasure..

Guy Fawkes stunt arrives early

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Or as the Aussie Slacker put:

"Epic Fail!"


Barack Obama will be president


"Palin stood beside him, but did not speak."

Too little.. too late...

....ok, maybe not ;o)

Jezza Clarkson cops flak for 'truckers murder strumpets' gag



Watch that figure JUMP significantly like Ross and Brands...

I have Bandwagoners.... There should be a time limit for registering your complaint to stop would-be Beep slaggers, and making their argument about licence fee instead of the real complaint.

Mine's the one with "How to lose friends and alienate people" in the pocket...

US Navy SEAL uniforms: Now with built-in tourniquets


@AC: "@Alex"

A reasonable "um" considering there's a US company that has made a non-restrictive armour vest that was going to be put into production for full body armour (note the "full"). I thin kI'm right in saying it's the chap that showcases his body armour by pointing a gun on himself and then firing - to prove it works... Nutter, but a good way of proving his armour works.

"Um", why not put your caustic comments to good use to "um" world peace instead ;o)



"The majority of preventable deaths come from loss of blood resulting from leg and arm wounds that is not protected by body armor"

Um.. then why not develop flexible armour for those areas then.... A healthy, able soldier is better than an incapacitaded one.. especailly considering he/she still has use of said limb!

I suppose it's a way forward... in some respects.

Eee PC maker readies Android phone for 2009



Stop encouraging El Reg!!


Man threatens lawsuit after negative eBay feedback


"left ear didn't work"

Classic! Someone bought a pair of ears, and one didn't work!

Mine's the one with the Janus Body Parts catalogue in the pocket.

Bioshock sequel teaser trailer now showing



You mean "Alex Kidd" right?

Winning contestant dies during competitive eating event

IT Angle

....How MUCH?!



Shame, shame...

Google Willy Wonkas park fighter jet on NASA

Black Helicopters

Replacement for the Spy-Car

This must be the replacement for the spy-car...

Woman cuffed for deleting virtual husband


"Stop that! It's far too silly..!"

...'nuff said really..

Mine's the one with the Monty Python script in the pocket..

Muslim leader rejects Sony's LittleBigPlanet edit

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@ Jasser

"Muslims concerned about the game’s audio content should, instead, have been given the choice not to buy the game. "

A very sensible answer that more groups should adopt (I'm looking at you, "Christian Foundation Against Manchester Cathedral In Games")!

In fact, this would work for MANY models, including films, internet, music etc...

Microsoft raises anti-piracy posse



I wonder if they are including the decrease in sales from people installing Linux in those figures... School boy error, but it's probably very likely they have done!

As for Vista not being pirated.. well it's probably because the pirates don't want to pirate a POS.. Simple as really.

Skype (kinda, sorta) shields Mac kiddies from VoIP smut



"fellow Skype users (usually pornographic spammers) "

Usually?!?! Lucky barsteward!

A Blu-ray Christmas? Don't bank on it

Paris Hilton

Anyone else finding...

...that BR discs have dropped to around the 10-15 quid mark? Also started noticing that (FINALLY!) the content is considerably more...?

i tend to find that the films I look for and want to buy are in this price bracket; considering that this is roughly what DVDs were for the first two years of being available, i'm seeing a trend. guessing the more players sold and the more discs sold, the more the price comes down.

@ AC "A Title" : You'll always get them ;o)

Paris, because her new 'amateur' films will be in BR soon, I'm sure of it!

Fire-breathing black cabs: Shock eyewitness photo



...reminds me of Fight Club and the 'happy' airplane safety cards... All the Legoland peeps are smiling happily!

Jumbo-jet sized 'SuperGigaFly' robo parachute tested



"If transport planes descend below 10,000 feet they become vulnerable to shoulder-launched anti-aircraft missiles"

So instead, the payloads will become easy pickings....


Electric Mini spied in Munich


That's no exhaust...

....it's a Space Station!

Already out the door..

Quantum theme debuts on Radio 1

Paris Hilton


I'm not sure about this one...

I would have prefered the Boozy Strumpet to sing it as she can belt out a Dame Basset number with ease.. as long as she isn't wide-eyed and slurring her words.

.... still fit, in a burlesque sort of way... well.. I say burlesque....

What about Paris??

Oz pub slammed over 'No Undie Sundie'

Paris Hilton

Spot On!

More of this is needed around the world! If the 'Lay-dee' wants to remove the offending band of cotton, then fine!

Magic ;o)

Paris, because she would get a card every visit (thanks for putting the icon back to normal El Reg!)

Epilepsy tests delay PS3 videogame launch



Probably because there is a high percentage of epilepsy sufferers who do not know that suffer from it... You don't have to be born with it, and you certainly don't know you have it until it is too late (generally).

That'll be the reason why. I do sympathise, but I also know (second hand) what undiagnosed epilepsy can do to you...

US military offered flying hover car bike


Since when...

..has a 'bike' retailer not had skantily clad, nubile women drapped across the said product!!

Pst.. not very knowledgable on the ol' marketing styles, eh?

Mario and Eee PC Girl bust Best Buy profits



I second that! But she does need to be in a swimsuit...

Chinese manned spaceshot set for 25 September



Has to be said that they are progressing very well. Yes, they seem to be 30-40 years behind the US, Russia, EU. But even so. At this rate, they'll have Moon Base Crouching Dragon all set up before NASA has a chance to sneeze.. I feel that the Chinese will surpass the rest of the world in a matter of years.

Am sure this will ruffle feathers in a few years, but hopefully this will also urge the rest of the world to get back in the saddle and push the boundaries of science in Space Exploration...

Buck Rogers is cleared for more nonsense! "Ok, Buck!"

(...as long as Wilmar is there in all her spandex, lipgloss and charm... ooohh... what a woman! A Cold Cloth is needed!!)

Mine's the one with the 1981 Buck Rogers Annual (25th Anniversary) in the rather large pocket..

MS confirms European Xbox 360 price cuts



Surely you mean that the poor sods that have only just bought one will be peev'd??

Oh wait.. now I see..

Mines the one with Retailers Only card in it...

Gemalto glues DVD onto a SIM



The idea of a credit card disk isn't new, and bare in mind that sim section is a snap off, and no, you don't put the whole card in.

no fears about what it would do to a conventional dvd drive, but as yet, I have not had the cahones to place one of these babies in a slot drive.... any other drives are fine.

Furse should not resign, she should be sacked



Ah-so. Indeed, I agree. We use physical hardware with new Cisco kit at the live site, and a virtualised environment with slightly older Cisco kit at the DR site. We use the DR site as a high availability system too, so if server hardware were to drop, the system at the DR site would be called into action.

I'm not 100% sure about wixing OSs and plavours of packages, as there is a big risk.... IMHO

I suppose, the way you've described is very plausible. Just not sure about the author, but I'll pend passing judgment.


Um.. What???!

hang on.. You aren't seriously suggesting that you would use a different system at your DR site are you?? You HAVE to use the SAME systems at your DR site to provide continuity!!

Now, if you were saying that testing of new software needs to be done off the live systems, then yes you are right (naturally) but have written it extremely poorly. Testing of new software should be done off network (if you have the means) and at the very least on a test system.

Do not, under ANY circumstances, try to say that you should be using differing systems between your live and DR site...

Am baffled by this, but can only say that you have (hopefully!!!) mis-written what you mean.

Hurricane Ike snuffs out Galveston webcam


Side Text

From the Spot Wave Cam:


"Located at 32nd and Seawall, The Spot offers gourmet hamburgers, fresh seafood, ice cream, fresh-baked desserts and bread, an arcade, and Tiki Bar."

Ahem.. well, not really..

Mine's the one Dry Suit

Robot airliner anti-missile escorts proposed



...until one of them decides to take out 'it's master'!

Mines the one with the EMP unit in the pocket..

NASA mulls nuclear Moon reactor


@"What about meteor rains on the moon"

Sod the meteors! What about the monthly quakes that happen??

In my heart, I truly want the moon to have somesort of highly technical space port there, but in reality, I think it'll prove to be not the best idea...

@E: I think I'm right in saying the the core is solid, yes, but the outer core is still fluid? Drilling down would be pretty labourious and down-right dangerous. Maybe someone with larger frontal lobes can elaborate my thinking...

BT's Mayfair exchange downed by burglary

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Actually.. @Simon

You have a cotton picking, darn-dastardly, good point there!

We hear about DR this, and DR that, but even the 'big cheese' of British communications didn't have a DR plan or BC policy...


But a damn good point, well highlighted.

@AC RE: Steve Evans"

Poor fella, now get back to work, you! ;o)


@Economic sabotage

..what.. the 10th September 2008...?

Mines the one with the Nostrodamus Calendar in the pocket.

Can CDP render backup redundant?



.. my brain hurts, and I agree.. I think I'm dreaming..!

Big and bendy e-ink displays on way



Why not build it into the margins of the pages? That way, whenever you are reading the book in daylight, you are charging it?

Hell, I suppose you could inlay the solar cells into the very pages themselves!


ok ...this is what I want...

Ok, I know this maybe a bit off the wall and (to some) pointless, but what I really want is a book of e-ink pages that I can load pages from a book on to. Ideally, you could have differing sizes and pages for each model released. I hear there is something along the lines in development, but I'm as of yet unable to find it (albeit not trying very hard...). This would mean that for those that wish to 'turn pages' can.

Getting quite excited about this (EASY!) and find this a much better way of reading an e-doc.

Good good, carry sir!

NZ in 'Old Bo***ck Road' balls-up


Do you think...

.. that they would ship it to the UK when I win the eBay auction??

I wonder how much the P&P would be..

Mens mag debuts e-ink cover


I like it but...

how heavy would these six batteries be? Does it mean that the front cover will fold down under the weight of the batteries, just like it there was a CD on it?

Very intrigued indeed, and am still liking this idea :o)

MS preps four critical updates for September



Shockingly, I agree with you. All windows environments are stable. We do have a 'flakey' server, but that's been attributed to hardware.

LG prices up HSDPA-equipped mini laptop

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Surely this would be easily added to the specs, no? If so, it's a go-er for me!

Feds cuff blogger for Guns N' Roses leak

Paris Hilton

@Graham Lockley

Oooh.. that's a bit controversial! He does/did have talent, but he was so smacked out and drunk that he fired off the very reason they were all famous: the rest of the band! From what I saw at Download 06, he was just a grumpy old twat with no respect for anyone else..

He was a songwriter, and one of the most recognisable vocalists in the rock business, but to say he had no talent..? Naughty Graham, naughty..

@AC above: Agreed. No need to listen to anything new from G'n'f'n'R as Velvet Revolver did a good job. Just glad they binned off the anorexic junkie... Should have stayed as the EX-Stone Temple Pilots front man.

Anyway, Chinese Democracy was just a disaster waiting to happen... It doesn't matter who releases it first.. it's still shite

Paris, because she knows when she needs to release some good stuff on to the net.

Apple goes auntie over slasher comic


Hold up....

The Breakfast Club objectionable...??? How? Oh.. wait.. lol! Now I get it :o)

Mines the one with St. Elmos Fire DVD in the pocket

Nuns face off in online beauty contest


A disgrace!!

..that they cancelled it!!

Mine's the one with the ripped up Contest Ticket in the pocket..


@Gordon Pryra

I concure!!

Mine's the one with 'Readers Nuns' in the pocket

*Going to Hell for that one!!*

A PS3 price reduction? You must be kidding!



I truly can not believe that mate. The only peeps to actually buy a PS3 for the BR purely would be a (and I use this term loosely due to these guys paying stupid money for AV hardware) cheap-skate AV-phile. Again, the vast (VAST) majority of PS3 owners ARE buying games. It's only (and even though this is a guess, it's probably VERY true) a % or two that would consider buying it for just that. No one in their right MIND would buy a PS3 purely as a BR machine... I agree with you, it was the best BR machine out there, but even so! If anything, the PS3s AREN'T being used for BR, but that's another topic, and flame-war that is already going on.

Every single person I know that has one is a hardcore gamer. The majority have a Xbox360 and the majority of the latter majority (still with me?) have a Wii. Yes, some do own just a Xbox and wii, and no I'm not going to get into who has what.. Counting off the top of my head, that's approximately all of my mates, brothers mates, and people at work (guessing around about 40-50 peeps). So say 30-35 have a PS3; ALL of them have and play games. Not one has just bought it for a BR..

Iain, mate, not trying to antagonise you - just my experience.

Maybe it's the social circles we mix in ;o)

Anyway, prices change, and it's not surprising that the SCC isn't going to announce a price cut 4 months before Xmas (Naughty El' Reg for trying to stir...). It's a prize time for console sales. I would expect a price cut on all consoles for Xmas (apart from handheld NDS and PSP)



Agreed with the more realistic pricing, Timi. But I'll bring you up on one major flaw in your theorem:

I very much doubt that the majority of PS3ers bought the console PURELY for BR. Nope, not even a single percent (i'm sure). BR is an added bonus. The PS3 was benefited by sales coming from peeps buying it becasue it had BR INCLUDED, yes, but I can not accept your comment. Put it this way: would you prefer to have an off contract certified boiler engineer fix your boiler, or your Gas Supplier? (I know which one will be cheapest AND be certified at the same time! ... yes your supplier) So why buy a standalone player, when for the price of say 90 pounds, you get BR as well. Job done

Million bank details sold on eBay



I stand corrected - I'm sure Radio 5 said it was a laptop....

Cheers ears!

US made to wait for Quantum of Solace



..or more likely (considering they aren't paying for the beer) they would be drinking the overspills from the spillage trays under the fonts.


Mine's the one with a Walther PPK and Aston Martin keys in the pockets.