* Posts by Anonymous John

2374 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Oct 2007

Running queries on the HMRC database fiasco

Anonymous John

According to yesterday's Telegraph

The NAO (not having a mainframe) then passed the database to KPMG to process.

So the NAO was paying a profit-making business to extract usable data instead of HMRC doing it in-house. A rather convoluted way of auditing a Governemnt department.

Little or no cost saving there.

Win XP also prone to random number bug

Anonymous John
Coat

Oh well

I suppose I can always pick numbers out of a hat.

Brown Fedora. Oh and my coat.

Air France compensates 170kg passenger

Anonymous John

Sounds like a vicious circle to me.

Paying for two seats entitles him to two meals. Which will make him even more gravitationally challenged.

Can we have a fat bastard icon please?

Huge jellyfish pack slaughters 100,000 salmon

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

35 feet

6.087 Paris Hiltons laid end to end. Not that I want to lay her.

Senior officials now in frame for HMRC data fiasco

Anonymous John

"Senior officials now in frame"

I never thought anything else.

The NAO didsn't contact him direct and say "Oi mate, bung us a copy of the entire database on two CDs", did it?

Wii grasses up cheating wife

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

Googles. Aha!

So this is a Mii and not a pretext for showing the PH icon?

Will Darling's data giveaway kill off ID cards?

Anonymous John
Unhappy

All your data

is belong to us.

How HMRC gave away the UK's national identity

Anonymous John

Re Sheesh

"Were the IT Dept involved?"

Has to be. Nobody else has access to the entire database, or a CD writer. Records can be accessed one at a time, and only if the reference number/National Insurance number is known.

The BBC referred to an IT worker this morning.

It's a bit rich the Tories trying to exploit this. Does anyone believe it wouldn't have happened if they'd been in charge?

BBC HD channel gets green light

Anonymous John

Re: We've been here before (several times)

There were Band III adaptors for the early Band I TVs. I fitted one to my parents 17 inch TV. Probably a bit later than 1955 as I was only 8 years old then.

Amazon's $399 folly book reader

Anonymous John
Happy

I like this bit.

"Long battery life. Leave wireless on and recharge approximately every other day."

Not only can you connect to your neighbour's WiFi network, but you can keep your gadget charged from it too.

Cheaper than the £433 Iliad though.

http://www.iliadreader.co.uk/products.htm

I do prefer paper books, but my Pocket PC, Mobipocket, and 100 + books, comes into its own when travelling or not at home.

O2 to launch Stella/Stellar in December

Anonymous John

Stellar, I expect.

To avoid confusion with a certain lager AKA Wife beater.

NZ bans Brit immigrant's overweight missus

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

Well.

She may be fat when she's older.

MoD defends £5bn IT system

Anonymous John

So that's alright then.

Er, what sort of disaster is it?

Drunk US man asks drunk son to take the wheel

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

Can we have an avatar for drink driving?

Oh, wait a minute.

Start-up aims nanotube memory at iPods, phones and servers

Anonymous John
Happy

Wait until

someone invents Copper nanotube RAM.

Oz Santas suffer no 'ho ho ho' blow

Anonymous John
Joke

We three hos of Orient are

Bearing gifts we traverse afar

Russian: I killed Buster Crabb in 1956 underwater scrap

Anonymous John

Why would the Russians keep quiet about it at the time?

Quite a bit of political capital to be made out of an attempt to destroy a Russian ship in peacetime.

419er fears unsolicited intergalactic email

Anonymous John
Coat

Looks genuine to me.

A real 419er would call himself Barrister E. Kone, Esq.

I'll get my spacesuit.

Watching the Earthrise over the moon

Anonymous John

"which is now orbiting our largest natural satellite"

Er, how many natural satellites do we have?

Neuroboffins develop mind-reading computers

Anonymous John
Happy

Microsoft will not be pleased

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/16/ms_brain/

Bike bonk bloke cops three years' probation

Anonymous John
Coat

Disgusting!

Coat and cycle helmet, please.

Is the world ready for a 1TB iPod?

Anonymous John
Unhappy

Oh please!

I'm currently building a new PC (where did I put that Vista OEM disk).

It was meant to have a 500GB hard disk, until I thought WTF - I'm going to reach 1TB.

An Ipod that size will probably mean my PC will have a x petrabyte hard disk.

Deadly planet-smash asteroid was actually Euro probe

Anonymous John

The Martians are coming!

Well that was my first thought when I read the headline "Near-Miss Asteroid Found to be Artificial" at http://www.space.com/businesstechnology/071112-technov-asteroid-mistake.html

PS

Do I get the credit for telling El Reg about this?

DoubleClick caught supplying malware-tainted ads

Anonymous John
Unhappy

Re: AdBlock is for idiots

I don't object to web adverts as such. But if I go out to buy a magazine, I don't have to wait while the newsagent goes next door to get the adverts. Neither does he follow me home, and stick them over whatever I'm trying to read.

Techniques that some web advertisers think are acceptable. Not to mention the hidden close buttons that sometimes don't work.

Sozzled Oz footie fan tattoed with 'gay' team tribute

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton?

I asked for a picture of the Eiffel Tower!

Boffins refine mind-to-prosthetic link

Anonymous John

I think you want to go for a walk

Shall we go to the park?

Infamous RBN quits China

Anonymous John
Happy

I did wonder

i wondered how long China would tolerate Russian spammers.

I'm getting less than a third of the spam I was until a week or so ago. Too early to be sure, but perhaps the tide has finally turned.

Don't give booze to elephants, sobs Paris Hilton

Anonymous John
IT Angle

Where's the Paris Hilton connection?

Ah.

Where's the IT connection then?

Skynet 5B still on ground after Arianespace snags

Anonymous John
Go

Re Apart from this little ongoing delay from Arianespace

Launch delays aren't unusual. I reckom they'll try again tonight.

Galileo slammed by UK politicians

Anonymous John

Where would we be,

If the Yanks pulled the plug, and we couldn't take the piss out of foreign lorry drivers getting stuck on narrow country lanes?

Well worth 1.7 billion.

Wannabe US bank robber fails intelligibility test

Anonymous John

Probably nervous

Up with your sticks!.

This is a handhold!

Second Skynet satellite to launch tonight

Anonymous John
Go

Re @ Anonymous John

"could that be one of the MoD's newfangled invisible sheds then?"

I don't see it, to be honest.

Anyway, from www.esa.int

Launch update

11 November 2007 The next Ariane 5 flight is now scheduled for 12 November. The launch window opens at 10:06 UTC/GMT (19:06 Kourou, 23:06 CET/Paris) and has a duration of 54 minutes.

Anonymous John
Coat

It didn't launch on time

Due to a electronics problem with a solid rocket booster. And according to the BBC news website will be rolled back to an inspection shed.

I now have this mental image of a huge wooden structure full of lawn mowers, plant pots, and assorted rusty tools.

Where's my gardening jacket?

Orbital tourism industry holds spacewear fashion show

Anonymous John
Coat

I'll leave my coat.

It clearly won't be needed in outer space.

Battery firm: iPhone could melt your brain

Anonymous John

Hmm

Then there is no scientific evidence that these special batteries are safe either. Which won't stop copper nanotubes from buying them.

US manned spaceflight after Shuttle could be delayed

Anonymous John

Early days yet.

It won't be the first spacecraft where the first design had to lose weight. The Apollo lunar module ended up about a ton lighter by the time ii was built.

Babbling net software sparks international incident

Anonymous John
Coat

What did they wait?

Babelfish is known for the mutilating test.

I will get my low.

Microsoft hopes to patent 'automatic goodbye messages'

Anonymous John

"It looks like you're trying to say goodbye.

Would you like help?"

Fans beseige Shilpa Shetty's mobe

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

Gratuitous Paris Hilton posting

Does anyone have her mobile phone number?

Shuttle crew completes daring wing repair

Anonymous John
Alert

Er, no.

"the unextended wing would have undermined the strength of the ISS' structure."

The damage only undermined the strength of the solar panel, not the whole ISS.

Reuters (your source?) made the same mistake.

EU cracks down on fake blogger astroturfing

Anonymous John
Joke

Do you like astroturf?

I don't know. I only smoke grass.

Demon satnav imprisons plucky trucky in pasty hell

Anonymous John
Stop

"Dad. Why does this lane have an overhead pipe?"

"Some day son, someone will invent a satellite navigatiion system. Then lorry drivers will drive down here and get stuck.

People will then be able to take the piss out of them online."

NASA delays space station repair to ponder tear

Anonymous John

Re ...what?

Possibly they're worried about it damaging other panels if it suffers further damage. It isn't fully rigid until fully extended. Which is why they can't allow the portside panels to rotate to track the sun, until it's sorted one way or another.

As things stand, they can't retract it or extend it further without risking further damage. I imagine it's possible that they may get more power by jettisoning it and allowing the rotating joint to rotate. Even docking a spacecraft with the ISS could damage it.

I doubt it will be necessary though.

Samsung glass breakthrough to slash LCD TV prices?

Anonymous John
Black Helicopters

You don't slash prices by reducing them by 6%.

Prices are dropping far more than that already.

Oz nanoboffins punt paper-thin flak jacket plan

Anonymous John

The next step will be to make them invisible.

So that the enemy won't be able to see the soldiers inside their invisible tanks.

Er, does this make sense?

Toshiba DVR dumps HD to HD DVD

Anonymous John
Coat

But there's no cassette deck

Oh yes, I remember cassettes from way back. They used magnetic tape, didn't they?

Sun: MoD has Bond/Potter/Klingon cloaking device

Anonymous John
Unhappy

The roof of my shed is invisible.

Ever since a gale earlier this year.

Pentax Optio Z10 digital camera

Anonymous John
Unhappy

What, no cheeseburger pic?

I'm wondering what the food mode looks like.

Cops coax half-naked Czech wolfman from Cardiff tree

Anonymous John

If they'd used a taser

I suppose it would have needed silver electrodes.

Shocked Shatner shunted from Star Trek XI

Anonymous John

Why has nobody

mentioned Dr Who yet?