Posts by Anonymous John

Ofcom mulls smackdown for rogue religious TV channel

Replies don't need titles.

The 419 Channel?

Insulin pump attack prompts call for federal probe

It's probably like an RFID chip.

With a range of less than half an inch. And unless the hacker gets the correct channel first time, the victim notices and moves out of range.

Brits buy more e-books than other Euro readers

Not if they are out of copyright.

I've got stacks of free ebooks on my reader. Which cost much less than I would have paid for second-hand dead tree versions.

Shelves?

Flying off the hard disks

FTFY.

Apple changed shape of Galaxy Tab in court filing

My cat looks very like my dog.

A body, four legs, a head and a tail. Who can I sue?

New DVD discs claim 1,000 year life

But how long will we be using DVDs?

They're bound to be replaced by something better long before then.

Glaswegian arrested for pro-riot Facebook posts

Plus

Two in Kent and another two in East Sussex.

Dunkin' Donuts waitress offers additional dunkin'

Or Starlucks

I expect the punters felt lucky.

DIY aerial drone monitors Wi-Fi, GSM networks

I think

I'll make a tin-foil hat for my house.

Martian water slides caught on camera (maybe)

Re Anonymous John

I'm not saying it would be easy. Just worth doing. There's a limit to what we can learn without having geological samples for scientists to examine.

There are solutions for the problems you mention. Send supplies, lander, etc by chemically powered spacecraft in advance. Followed by a team of astronauts in a Vasimr craft that could do the trip in 39 days. Nothing that couldn't be done is 20 years or less if we put our minds to it.

Boots on the ground.

We'd learn more about Mars from one manned mission than we have from all the hardware landed so far.

NASA's Juno roars off to Jupiter

It's you.

It's a magnetometer.

Swede cuffed for cooking nuclear reactor on kitchen stovetop

One for the SPB?

After LOHAN flies, a mini-Orion is the logical next step.

Jupiter spacecraft mounted atop bloody big rocket

Insurance claim?

I expect it will be collecting useful data as it drops out of orbit.

Dead bloke reanimates in mortuary

Yes, but...

You didn't run away screaming. At least I hope you didn't.

SpaceShipOne designer produces hybrid flying car

Flying car?

It's a roadworthy plane.

Segway death blamed on good manners

So what?

I've never seen a cop reverse a car forward.

GCHQ losing its 'internet whizzes' to Microsoft, Google

Re You too?

Gareth Williams was a keen cyclist. Why would a spook choose such a bizarre method of killing, rather than a more straightforward hit and run?

'Unconvincing' Met top cop Yates: My phone was hacked

Policemen on the street ?

Where do you live?

News of the World TO CLOSE

The end of the News Of The World.

I think we owe Harold Camping an apology. He wasn't that far wrong.

NotW accused of hacking Milly Dowler's voicemail

I waswondering about that.

It could explain how the NOTW got hold of her mobile number. I can't think of any legitimate source of this information.

El Reg cuts ribbon on new Special Projects Bureau

Special Aeronautics Research And Hardware?

Sarah may have gone, but she needn't be forgotten.

Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

How can El Reg expect me to complete a survey at a time like this?

Totally insensitive..Sob.

Atlantis go for 8 July blast-off

Eh?

Previous reports have only referred to "Discovery's last flight" etc. Next month's flight uses the last external tank. It is the end.

Bloke ordered to remove offensive numberplate

I must be dyslexic

I read all personalised plates as "FUCKWIT."

Drunken bust-up woman sprays cops with breast milk

Sarah!

One of your acerbic comments please.

Accused autistic hacker Ryan Cleary freed on bail

Yes.

Like depression and OCD if you are a police dog handler.

Met arrest alleged Lulz hacker

in co-operation with the FBI.

<Sits back and awaits extradition request>

Facebook fuels Israeli cottage cheese insurgency

What a Friend we have in cheeses

The post is required, and must contain letters.

Woman puts shout-out for hitman on Facebook

Sometimes

They just email you out of the blue.

http://www.scamorama.com/prolite_agnes_hitlad.html

Earth may be headed into a mini Ice Age within a decade

Missed question mark.

Now they are going to accept they aren't needed?

That's better.

and lead to radical shifts in government policy worldwide

I wonder. Politicians are usually very reluctant to admit mistakes. We're still building wind farms despite all the evidence that they aren't a useful source of renewable energy. Now they are going to accept they aren't needed.

And MMGW has been more of a religious belief than science for some time.

No Gingerbread snack for Desire owners, says HTC

I'm not that bothered.

There doesn't seem to be anything in Gingerbread that I really need.

Metro Bank in schoolboy email error snafu

Britain's first new High Street bank in over 100 years

Four branches near London is not my idea of a High Street bank.

Living, biological raygun produced in lab

I for one

Want the welcome mat icon reinstated.

World IPv6 Day fails to kill the internet

Microsoft recently bought 666,000 addresses

The number of the kilobeast.

BBC Freesat tech switch zaps HD channels from 'old' boxes

I know.

But a PC based PVR is my preferred solution. Freesat EPG software out of the box would be useful.

Re Need DVB-S2 PCI Express card

I'm still waiting for one that officially supports the Freesat EPG though. I thought one would have arrived by now.

I know there are some unofficial solutions but I don't need to switch to digital until next year.

Porridge for Ofcom IT boss in £500k software fraud

What money?

"Whitehouse has since paid back much of the £522,123 he stole". You can be sure that the police will be using the POCA to go after the rest of it.

Two fat atoms get the nod

No.

Transuranic elements ,cannot be assigned where life exists.

Sandi Toksvig puts the 'n' into cuts - on the Beeb

I wonder what the Mail thinks of this limerick.

There was a young lady from Bude

Who went for a swim in the lake

A man in a punt

Stuck his pole up her nose

You can't do that here, it's not allowed.

The title is required, and must cuntain letters and/or digits.

As I understand it there was only one complaint. You can't count the Mail s the never pass up a chance to bash the BBC.

Why should the opinion of one single prude carry so much weight?

If it's good enough for Shakespeare.

HAMLET

Do you think I meant country matters?

OPHELIA

I think nothing, my lord.

HAMLET

That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

Entire London 2012 Olympics' cultural events database held on Excel

Piece of cake

Opening ceremony 27/07/12 9:00 12:00

Closing ceremony 12/08/12 14:00 17:00

Staff piss-up 12/08/12 18:00 ???

Have I missed anything?

Asus revamp adds tablet-phone dock

Padfone

Want one. Nothing more to say really. I want one.

Tragedy nurse's boyf fined over medical records abuse

Don't be silly.

The victims' surcharge doesn't go to the victims, but some sort of fund that is supposed to help victims indirectly.

In fact I read somewhere that as fines have to be linked to ability to pay, magistrates were reducing them by £15 and adding the £15 surcharge.

Tesco pricing cock-up provokes beer stampede

140 character limit.

We don't need no steenking punctuation.

3D printer produces working house keys

I bet

You could have a shedload of keys cut commercially for the cost of the 3d printer.

Space shuttle Endeavour's long journey is over

And

It was a night landing. I doubt they would have been visible in daylight.

Go Daddy 'negligent' in handing over ownership of accounts

And

Does the presence of only one icon on lines 2 4 and 6 mean that there are more icons to come?