* Posts by david

175 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Oct 2007


Who's afraid of the SOA police?


@ac 13:25

No I don't


Such pragmatism...

...is unpopular with those who talk a good fight but would not know a basic profile if one hit them in the face. Their stock in trade is procrastination as it eats money with no (percieved) risk.

Why do I feel I should have mixed some capitals in there in aManFromMars styley?

Inside USB 3.0


Never be a serious data connector...

..until it has locking connectors.

Twitter typosquatting site preys on gullible


Oh dear...

...what a shame. Nevermind.

It just puzzles me why the phishers have bothered.

NZ couple do bunk with £3.9m bank error



...bank error in your favour collect £3.9m

<sarcasm>You'd think the banks would be a bit more careful with their customers money</sarcasm>

Wolfram Alpha - a new kind of Fail


US Centric Geography

Clacton = Clacton on sea

Romford = Rumford Maine

Dagenham = Davenham stock quotes

Kingston-upon-Thames - don't know

Taking a first bite out of Wolfram Alpha

Thumb Down

It's not very good...

... I tried "what is the difference between a duck"*

and "what are next weeks lottery numbers"

and it just said it didn't know what to do with my query.

Poor show.

*One of it's legs is both the same

Brown red in face after blusher found in cab


I suggest...

if((reader.ITOnlyStories || reader.NoSOH) && channel.toLower()=='odds & sods')








Oompa-Loompa and Tinky Winky cuffed for drunken brawl

Thumb Up


...puerile crap please.

Especially when it involves people in padded suits smacking seven shades out of one another.

Also I'd like to sign up for the reconstruction petition. Hie the down to ToysRus as I don't suppose playmobile runs to all the characters involved.

Microsoft challenges IBM to Websphere duel


Am I missing something...

...I though the MS stack middleware component was BizTalk Server. And the shiny new 2009 version was the mutts's Nuts. Shouldn't they have used that as a like to like middleware component?

Any thoughts on why they didn't? (of course we all know the answer, the tps would go through the floor)

So is it the case that the message tracking and single onetime delivery and resilience were missing from the c# version but the websphere infrastructure were providing them natively?

I'd go for a peer reviewed independant test, and if IBM are sure of their ground they should be snatching MS hand off - Any thoughts on why they aren't?

Army officer tossed laptops into the sea


Whoever said...

...military intelligence is an oxymoron was not far off the mark.

Pudsey Bear refused UK passport


This is just what happens...

...when a do-gooder meets a jobsworth.

I'm not sure who's side I'm on but it would seem that if you have a Deed Poll with a new name on it the IPS can't do much about it. It probably caught the G7 on a bad day and he went a bit beyond his brief.

Look out for the passport being issued and the whole thing going quietly away.

Privacy notices work best in tables, says US gov research



...I tried my best to understand this but I must be exceeding dumb because I couldn't extract any sense out of it.

Does it mean people can read things better if they are split up and not in one big block?

If so - no shit Sherlock.

Pig plague 2.0: Can't spell 'pandemic' without 'panic'


I beleive the expert on PM on Monday...

..it will either get worse or it will get better, that is if it doesn't stay the same.

IPCC U-turn on Tomlinson CCTV


If anyone does turn up a video...

...they need to make sure it gets published to t'internet before the IPCC or plod get their sweaty little hands on it.

Acer flaunts first Ion-based nettop


I wish you wouldn't do this to me...

I'd just decided on the Ion nettop from Novatech but this is much closer to what I'm looking for.

How long do we have to wait for this do you reckon?

Report: Legalising drugs would save UK plc huge packet


re:Heroin is instantly addictive

No it isn't, any more than alcohol or nicotine if you have the predisposition

Psycological dependance (doing it because you like it) may come quiclkly. Physical dependance requires sustained use.


"patients with chronic pain who need opiates to function (sometimes over extended periods) have few if any problems leaving opiates after their pain is resolved by other means"


"Chronic use of heroin leads to physical dependence"

I could find more but the most convincing story is from William Burroughs in Junkie. Get the story from the horses mouth.

You need to be a bit more careful with your terms.

IPS misses its ID cards for foreigners target


Where due diligence meets free consultancy?

"The IPS interviewed each supplier 50 times before awarding the contract."

I wonder which supplier came up with the idea of chip and pin in its Innovation proposal?

MPs lambast Forces' new personnel database


I'll start the ball rolling...


Every Dysfunctional System

Eternally Disastrous Software

Employ Dodgy Subcontractors

Wacky Jacqui spanked by husband


@eddy ito


could be reused for anyone losing their job for prOn related reasons.

(OK I know it hasn't happened yet but having the PM say he's right behind her it can't be long)


Is he being serious?

Gordon Brown has said Home Secretary Jacqui Smith's use of Commons expenses for two adult films watched by her husband should be a "personal matter"

Gordie old mate, it was a personal matter right up to the point we had to pay for it.

And up to the point that your Home Secretary with the support of your government decided that the British public's 'personal matters' are actually a matter for government to poke their noses into.

This wouldn't have caused half the splash it has if there wasn't for the moralistic posing by the Government to stir up the Mail readers. Paying back the tenner is a small hit on the wallet and in more permissive times the cash would come out of her wages and she'd walk away embarrassed but politically intact. Because the government has set itself up as moral arbiters they better make sure they are perfect or get a proper job.

I wonder whether John's duties as part of 'running the office' is filling in the expenses claims (and hiding the receipts)?

BT network 'vulnerable to Chinese attack'


Could have been worse...

...could have been made in Middle East.

Jacqui Smith pulls in another TV psych in violence probe



<grantvoice>Shut up or you'll get a slap</grantvoice>


I can solve all the worlds ills...

I will write a paper called: Together We Can Solve All The Worlds Ills. Here it is::

Together we can stop the environment being fucked

(Tell people to stop doing it)

Together we can stop wars

(Tell everybody to be nice to one another)

Together we can stope people being hungry

(Give everybody enough to eat)

Together we can stop the economic meltdown forever

(Tell the banks to sod off and die we'll go back to making things and selling them to make the money go round)

Together we can stop people dying

(Ask Dog to make us all immortal)

Together we can part the Red Sea

(This one might be difficult but we could try to get Moses back on the job)

There, that's a good mornings work...I think I can go home now.

Worthy but a waste of space...

LibDems uncover over 10,000 RIPA yarns


You missed the best statistic...

...only 9% resulted in successful legal action according to the beeb.

I think I'd put a monetary value on privacy and force the councils to cough up some compo to the other 91%. Their pockets is the only place they feel the pain.

Newfangled rootkits survive hard disk wiping


Dear fanbois...

...if your bios can be flashed it can be fscked.

Emotional arguments do not make Street View illegal


I thought it was quite amusing...

...complaining about NI Cop shops. All the ones I know have lights, razor wire and huge wire and concrete fences.

Not as if they weren't conspicuous for anyone wishing to case the joint...

Supercar maker pitches 'leccy sportster with stunning spec


Well the Westwood DS5000...

...does 0-60 in 4 seconds. Runs of waste heat from power stations. Stored in a previously unknown material pyluronium bisulphide. It can recharge from a 3C temperature increase over ambient in 10 seconds and gives a 3000 mile endurance. The stored heat is used to drive the memory metal motors. All losses from friction are used to recharge the heatsore. It's coated in an extract of treefrog slime that means it has approaching 0 drag.

And it is so bright red that if you stare at it for more than five minutes all the red receptors in your retina will burn themselves out.

Or I might be making it up...

Failed probation system 'masterclass in sloppy management'


Public sector project gone bad - Not news

'EDS delivers government project on time and on budget'

Now that would be newsworthy.

YouTube blocks music videos in UK


@Simon Brown

I think you may have missed the point. The premium content we are talking about is put up to promote music. Not by pirates but by the music business because they saw the opportunity for a bit of free advertising.

Blocking it just removes a way of getting some free exposure. The PRS are doing you no favours in this case and as a customer of theirs you should be on their backs for an explanation why they might be trying to collect on something that has already been given away free by the owners.

Or look at it like this: I make furtwanglers that I put in a shop window. People buy my furtwanglers and I make some cash. Then some gangsters turn up and say I've sent them to tax the shop because there's furtwanglers in the window. Based on the turnover of their shop. They also mug any passer by who catch an accidental glimpse of my furtwanglers. With a promise that some of the money will go back to me, the maker. So the shop says bugger that we are putting the furtwanglers in the back room.

Nobody wins. Me and the people who don't know how pretty/useful/flexible/green my furtwanglers are the big losers. All the gangsters have done is broken a model that me and the shop were reasonably happy with.

The model is broken...but that's not a bad thing. It means its time to find a new on. I remember the Pretenders on one of their inner sleeves (in the days of proper records) rewording the "Home Taping is Destroying Music" tag to "Home Taping is Destroying the Music Business."


Good move by YouTube

They have managed to fsck over the people they are supposed to be working for. The music business and poor artists that we steal from by not paying them their dues.

Isn't the premium music stuff put up there to promote artists. Sort of like advertising but free.

YouTube should push back to the promotors and artists to bear the PRS costs out of the bit of advertising budget they have saved. So the PRS could give the promotors and artists what they are due. See what I've done there?

I hope YouTube have the balls not to back down and just highlight that the heavy handed PRS bully-boys are good for no one except themselves.

'Ich bin ein storyteller', says UK taxman


Commercial sensitivitiy...

...and it was on the label for all to see. I'd love to have been the one who pointed that out to them.


Scotland Today in news nipslip outrage


It's definitely a tit...

...the one with the white hair and black eyebrows I mean

Photography rights: Snappers to descend on Scotland Yard


Shouldn't go after the police...

...because they apply the law without fear of favour.

Sorry, fail.

They are not going after all photographers they are using their discretion. If they weren't droids they would used their discretion and ignore the rubbish laws.

Jacqui's jihad on web extremism flops


Jaqui needs...

...a good big thump with a cluestick.

Or better still go back to being a dinner lady or what ever she was in a previous life.

Brits find accommodation a little uncomfortable


@ JoeK:Necessary

Never eat cress eat salmon sandwiches and remain young

or was it

never eat cheese croissants eat scrambled egg really yellow

Authors Guild to Amazon Kindle: Shut up


Perhaps Amazon should...

..offer to remove all guild members books from the site.

X2 triplex supercopter gets tail-drive hooked up


aaaah aaaah aaaah oooh ah ah

That is sexy!

Woman jailed for texting while driving


@AC - What is prison for?

Pour encouragez les autres.

Not much encouragement in 21 months.


Should be treated as manslaughter.

Find a book and throw it.

Global chip sales shriveled in 2008


Am I the only one...

Who saw this in the ticker and thought it was bad news about McCains.

Nanotech researchers create the world's smallest writing


That's nothing...

I wrote the whole of the bible and shakespeare on a neutrino. But I can't remember where I put it.

Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah set for top two spots in Christmas Day charts


The funny thing is that...

...people are treating it as a sacred song. Check the original, it's a little bit bitter and a little bit sexual.

I hope Lenny gets enough out of it to retire. He's top of my list of people I'd like to get pissed with...

Ofcom rules on Clarkson strumpet gag



...somebody in power showing some sense?

Or is this all a dream?

Scorpions tale leaves IWF exposed


Either thus have told them to eat dirt...

...or there is something wrong with my internet because I can see it.

It seems that it might be the subject of some controversy however:

"This page is currently protected from editing until December 11, 2008 because of edit warring."

Whether it should be seen or not is another matter.

Entire class fails IT exam by submitting in Word format


Are there other formats?

The one with "I'm a PC" stencilled on the back

What the heck is an IT Architect anyway?


My job title...

..is senior solution architect.

But at heart I'm just a techy coder that has been doing it for 20+ years and I need a proper title to make me feel important.

I help out where I can which means:


coming up with the initial technical solution

being the customer facing techy

matching busines requirements to technical requirements

getting that over to the boys in the engine room

picking up development sticking points and finding ways to keep development moving

negotiating technical workarounds with the customer

CR impact analysis and estimating

code reviews

translating progress reports to customer talk for the project manager

picking up the crap bits of coding that no one else wants to do and either doing them or

making doing them a bit less painful

provide a sympathetic ear to everyone who wants to have a bit of a moan about the project on

all technical aspects

communicate progress to the project manager

deal with the technical people at the suppliers

get the beers in on a Friday lunchtime at the 'progress meeting'

So I guess the 'chief builder' moniker fits. To continue the metaphore I've been there done that and taken the pain. Whether it's a tricky bit of bricklaying or a putting in a new window frame I'm expected to know (or to be able to find out) how to do it.

I do work with architects who are 'not technical' and I wonder how they survive. They usually end up as another layer of project management. Cheif builders who have never laid a brick...

Lapland New Forest website suffers 'unusual technical problems'


Was it run by...

...eddie grundy?

CSC orders staff home in cost-cutting shutdown


Not a csc employee

My contract says I get a yearly salary + some holiday. Let my bosses start fecking with that and see where it gets them.

I think I'd start building up to a serious bout of man flu now...

Top transport plod to probe Tory leaker's arrest


Be interesting to see...

...how many pages it takes to say all my ACPO/Mason/etc mates handled it right and just 'forgot' to tell Smith* and Brown* what was going on.

*The lack of firstnames is intentional.If it's good enought for the beeb can call a serving mp by his surname only, a treat they usually reserve for convicted criminals, it's good enough for me.