Posts by FerretOfDoom

Xpress yourself: Quark sold to M&A outfit

Wait...

...People still use QuarkXPress?

Steve Ballmer window-dresses Windows 8

Nope...

It'll be Windows NT 5.

Mine's the one missing the HAL.

Microwaved hard disc, run-over PC and other data disasters

Missed one

The BOFH told me that if I wanted to optimize my disk, to run the command rm -r *. For some odd reason, all my files were gone!

Mine's the one with backups set to null.

Incendiary MacBook blamed in house conflag inferno suit

Oops!

The "attached peripheral" was actually a USB Missile Launcher that was inadvertently loaded with live warheads.

MS freebie anti-virus scanner auto-downloads provoke more anger

Waah

I don't see people at OoO and FileMaker whining that Windows Update can include MSOffice updates. What's the big deal about AV software?

I rarely (er, never) use "Microsoft" and "pretty good" in the same sentence, but with MSE, I think they finally bought/took over/stole something that is pretty good. For most home users, MSE and quietly updating it through WU is just fine. If McAfee / Trend / AVG / Symantec would put out better product that didn't slow the machine to a crawl, the'y have a right to whine.

Google's 'instant' search springs keyboard controls

Google Instant...pfft

Not unlike Instant Coffee or Instant Tea, Instant Google also leaves a bad aftertaste.

Inquirer celebrates spammer murder-suicide

Disgusting

To revel in and praise the taking of human life is simply disgusting. How would the inquirer report on one of their employees shooting and killing the other employee who took lunches from the fridge every day and his tease of a secretary? Would they see positive light in that?

For shame.

Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

Don't forget a newer classic...

" I bought a car....

Turned out to be an alien robot.

Who knew?"

@Anton Ivanov

So true...no B5.

"Trust Ivanova, Trust Yourself. Anyone Else? Shoot 'em!"

So much love there for Susan.

Warner Bros to remake Clash of the Titans

Oooooookay...

What's next?

Krull?

Maybe a CGI version of "The Secret Of NIMH"? How about Paris Hilton as Mrs. Brisby?

Yeesh

Google will chase chunk of US spectrum

Ooooooh

So we'll all be on GPhones and will have plenty of access to Pr0n in the local coffee house GSpot...wait, that sounds bad.

BAE demos DSL-esque military radio protocol

IP - handshaking?

IP by itself is a connectionless protocol. IP traffic can be sent one way with no handshaking involved. Go up a layer in OSI, I think you may be talking about TCP.

Sun and IBM promise operating system surprise

Windows surprises...?

"That's not news, Windows surprises millions of people everyday."

Which surprise? That it actually happens to boot completely on a given morning?

Exit To DOS? Yes, please.

NZ parents may lose battle to keep baby '4real'

Whatever

This is quite stupid. Giving a child an idiotic name for their own amusement and gain. Nevemind that this poor child is going to get his lunch money taken everyday and will spend the better half of his student life stuffed in a locker.

Unless, of course, they move to Hollywood, California. Where their rights to the story of the struggle against the greater evil of the NZ courts will be made into a book and a movie. Then there's the sequel when they have a boy and name it

xXxP4P4-$/\/\URFxXx.

I said it first so I get the rights. :-P

Apple unwraps trio of aluminium iMacs

iPhone

The thing looks like a great big iPhone. Now *that* is branding. :-|

Apple releases Mac OS X 10.4.10

It's a lot easier...

...than Apple's previous cryptic updates.

For example...

System 7.5.2 got you 7.5.2. But, System 7.5 Update 2.0 got you System 7.5.3. And they weren't cumulative. It was much uglier back then.

Apple buyout rumours circulate as iPhone launch nears

Death Knell...

So, is this Apple Death Knell # 53? (As Apple has been declared dead 52 times since April 1995, according to The Mac Observer)

And how many of you have downloaded Safari for Windows then, Hmmm?

Mars: more evidence of a watery past

Grrrr

I hate the word "Synergistic".

Anyway, you think NASA's going to send up a new:

____Tire _____Tyre (Please choose your regional spelling)

?

Think those things have road hazard warranties on them?

Scotty: ashes located and heading home

The last fix

I'm glad they found the ashes...

Too bad Scotty couldn't get the warp drive fixed in the nick of time as usual this time around.

R.I.P.

Inventor touts Robocop-style armour for use in Iraq

The Multi-Hue Ranger

Is it just me or does the guy look like a Power Ranger?

SkyNet 5 blasts into space

At least we know...

...that a particle accelerator will temporarily disable them, and we know where to hide when the nukes hit.

Star Trek XI logged for Xmas 2008 launch

Affleck?? *cough*

Casting Ben Affleck as Kirk? Why not cast Grace Jones as Uhura and Mike Myers (using Shrek's voice, of course) as Scotty?

Seriously...Ben ruined the What-could-have-been-a-good-film-except-for-Ben-Affleck movie Pearl Harbor with his less-than-one-dimension acting. What makes anyone think he could play Kirk?

Take the guy who played Pirk in Star Wreck:In The Pirkinning (http://www.starwreck.com), Teach him english, then cast him. Anything's better than Ben.