Posts by Roger Kynaston

UK voter data within reach of miscreants who hacked Electoral Commission

security is borked

This is only the latest in a series of terrible breaches of data - Crapita not securing an S3 bucket with USS pension details on it. Other actors stealing data from LPFA and such like. I am now working on the assumption that I have been comprehensivly pwned.

I don't know if it is state actors or straightforward crims (assuming there is a difference) but we need a completely new approach to security. At present, it appears that I am responsible for policing any unauthorised use of my data and there is no recourse to get compensation from the leaker - perhaps that should be the case.

</rant>

We'd pay good money to see... oh dear, Elon Musk 'needs an MRI scan'

arsehole moron pretends to fight another arsehole moron

All in the title.

Japanese boffins slice semiconductors from diamonds – with lasers!

Wot no sharks!?

Frikkin lasers on semiconductors doesn't have the same ring to it.

Twitter name and blue bird logo to be 'blowtorched' off company branding

Re: Mr Xorg

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Xorg.

Sadly Bruce Willis won't be able to 'negotiate' the chief twat away.

Moron alert. Again

I should be pleased that he is killing off a toxic platform that served and little purpose and now serves no purpose but it is sad that real people are going to lose their livelihoods over this.

Framework starts taking orders for 16-inch repairable, upgradeable laptop

Interesting looking toy

I will look at these seriously if they are still around when the Admiral's X1 Carbon finally gives up the ghost.

Boris Johnson pleads ignorance, which just might work

Please. No Bozo pictures

We see his ugly mug in all the other news outlets. It is nice that El Reg doesn't feel the need to feed his narcissistic neediness. Could you substitute a suitable vegetable when reporting on him. My vote would be for an aubergine.

SUSE announces its own RHEL-compatible distro... again

susos?

Just saying.

BOFH: Lies, damned lies, and standards

Re: Association of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment.

Over here we'll have the Associated Realm of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment

Ripoff Vuitton handbag smaller than a grain of salt fetches $63,750 at auction

Naah. Too big for that!

Alphabet, Bharti Airtel to bridge India's digital divide with frickin' laser beams

dual use?

beat me to it

My other pedant mode is saying that a hydra was a many headed monster so to have a many headed many headed monster is a bit much.

Cunningly camouflaged cable routed around WAN-sized hole in project budget

spanning tree!

Shirly there were wome banyan vines involved as well.

Apologies for the blatant bandwagon jumping.

Britain's largest private pension scheme reveals scale of Capita break-in

stuck record

Shirly (again) it is time that decision makers did a proper due diligence (again) when assessing who might be a good outsourcing partner (again) and not give the work to the same old pile of shit companies (again).

I shall await the email saying that sadly, my data was amongst that which was stolen/exfiltrated/encrypted/lost and that USS will do it's utmost to help but cannot be held responsible for this (again). I'll also wait for the avalanche of phishing emails of course.

Is there anything tape can’t fix? This techie used it to defeat the Sun

Wrong Sun

I was all primed for a story of derring do with my previous favourite hardware and OS company.

I feel robbed now!

BOFH takes a visit to retro computing land

from a wormhole that opened from 30 years in the future

Is that an X1 Carbon? What is the depreciation on that. I wrote my first project plan on one of those. Would you be able to dispose of it responsibly?

Ooh look an M1 Mac. They were soo cool with their combined CPU/GPU.

10TB nas box. I had one of that to stash all my pr0n.

and so on

Shocks from a hairy jumper crashed a PC, but the boss wouldn't believe it

capital of BC

Prince George!!!????? Try Victoria.

</pedant>

China space agency reckons Zhurong Mars rover has probably been done in by dust

Sorry to hear that

Clearly not enough dust storms where it is which helped Opportunity last so much longer than the planned.

Several Tsing-Tao to the team though. ->

Oracle's examplar win over SAP for Birmingham City Council is 3 years late

complicated business

Public sector bodies are always more complex than their private sector counterparts. A bank has to move money around. A local authority has to move money around, maintain houses, make sure children are cared for, make sure vulnurable adults are cared for, lend books out and keep said book repositories open and warm for those unable to get warm anywhere else, make sure the non-vulnerable children are able to read and do sums and allow a bunch of elected political types tell everyone to do this stuff.

I work in a University now and that has its own set of complexities. Heaven forbid that I find my way to central government!

Balloon-borne telescope returns first photos in search for dark matter

Re: We need a Reg unit of altitude

Eiffel tower is 330 m. I am sure that loads of heights are given as equivalent of x eifel towers. If the khalifa was adopted it might cause confusion with Mia Khalifa.

Thanks for fixing the computer lab. Now tell us why we shouldn’t expel you?

old password

used to be g0d though I am sure that would fall foul of modern complexity and length rules. I wonder if anyone uses

J3h0v@h

GlobalFoundries sues IBM for flogging 'chip secrets to Intel, Rapidus'

lawyers "kerching"

Clearly we don't know if the parties tried to resolve this without recourse to litigation but this business most of use commentards work in seems to be way too fond of taking each other to court. There are only ever one set of winners from that sort of thing.

Goddard Space Flight Center's new boss swears in on holy Pale Blue Dot

my book

Fundamentals of Physics by Brady and Humiston. Though I abandoned that science degree for something else. Now, in later life I am returning to science with the OU.

Tiny Brit tech firms win spots on £1.84B public sector contract. Kidding, it's the usual suspects

Palantir

is that so local authorities can see what is in your rubbish bin?

Pager hack faxed things up properly, again, and again, and again

Re: not much of a "who me" but marriage was involved

I persuaded her manager to get her a new PC.

As to the reporting software - I have absolutely no idea but I hope not. :-)

not much of a "who me" but marriage was involved

Back in the day I worked at a so called post 1992 university otherwise known as an ex Polytechnic. I had got myself promoted from desktop to a being a sys admin for the core administration systems. There was a plan to roll out oe of those hideous reporting packages to the departments. It was my job to do the installation so I could be reminded that not everything revolved around a handful of Sun boxes and a DEC Alpha.

I went to one of the designated departments and started to install it on the departmental admins PC. The PC was rather elderly and in need of some TLC which I did. Said admin was so pleased with my work as the local desktop support team were less than helpful that she insisted on buying me lunch. 22 years later we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

Meta chops another 10,000 employees, closes 5,000 vacancies

another streamlining option

perhaps the robot masquerading as a sentient human could consider not spaffing all those billions on a sub-par VR experience that no one wants.

South Korea warns US: The CHIPS Act leaves a sour taste

Are they going to patrol the act

CHiPS Patrol

Mine is the one with dodgy shades in the pocket

Elon Musk yearns for AI devs to build 'anti-woke' rival ChatGPT bot

News?

Moron talks bollocks. Quelle surprise!

I know that it sort of is news but at some point we will be able to ignore him as just another wingnut.

Amid the gloom of widespread layoffs, Fujitsu is hiring and acquiring

Person spec entry?

A willingness to purjure oneself in the face of accounting errors being built into the financial systems?

OpenAI CEO heralds AGI no one in their right mind wants

As Always

Douglas Adams got there first.

For Open AI substitute Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

For AGI substitute GPP (Genuine People Personality) and Marvin.

At least we can look forward to the complaints division undergoing gravitational collapse.

I also notice for a bonus that the current comment count is 42!

Pop open a cask: Homebrew version 4.0.0 is here

Not a developer

I use terminal on my Mac. Mostly for systems admin stuff. Just sayin. ;-)

Japanese balloon startup wants to 'democratize space' – with $180,000 ticket price

question is

Can you jump out of it? The only thing that would tempt me back to skydiving would be a chance to do a high altitude jump. I know that 25 km is a huge difference on 10 000 m or so but pressure suits can be had. Felix managed it after all.

NASA: Yup, thousand-pound meteorite exploded over Texas

Damm bugs

"The only good bug is a dead bug!"

Yukon UFO could have cost unfortunate balloon fan $12

Back in the day El REg could have fallen foul of this

Imagine if the late lamented Lester was still launching PARIS this year?

Musk says he ain't going anywhere as Twitter CEO until at least late 2023

Re: Cognitive dissonance can be quite fascinating

so long as said Monk doesn't get instructed to shoot off.

AWS puts datacenter in shipping container for the Pentagon

Highly original

Weren't SUN first to this party?

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

bang up to date

And a very classy one.

Surely ChatGPT can give some evidence on how weakened window catches should be repaired.

Ring system discovered around dwarf planet Quaoar leaves astronomers puzzled

Q?

He has settled down now he doesn't play with the Enterprise and has got engaged.

Microsoft tells people to prepare for AI search engine that goes Bing!

Two things always come to me when I hear bing

Well three but DJV got there first with the Monty Python.

Firstly - where are the two other search engines called bang and bong?

Secondly, bing is usually an indicator that something has happened and it often isn't a good thing.

China’s Baidu reveals generative AI chatbot based on language model bigger than GPT-3

Re: Reminder

Could it be revenge for the Opium wars? Brits will feed their Premium bond number into it and the Chinese gummint will then switch the ownership so they win £50 pounds every once in a while?

McDonald's pulls plug on Wi-Fi, starts playing classical music to soothe yobs

HoC vs McRat

Perhaps there is an outlet amongst the eateries of the Palace of Westminster.

The smell from the one near me is enough

On a hot summer's day when the wind is in the SE our afternoon is replete with people sounding like they are murdering each other. Given the smell of their fat fryers I think I would have an episode if I eat their food.

On the vaguely tech angle to this story - how is turning the wifi off supposed to calm the seething hordes?

Lockheed Martin demos 50kW anti-aircraft frickin' laser beam

Stryker

"They can't be lost. They are on instruments"

Punch-drunk Apple Watch called 15 cops to a boxing workout when it heard 'shots'

Time to channel Malcolm Tucker

Hey Siri!

Fuck the fuck off! Then fuck off some more and when you have fucked off stay the fuck fucked off!

This can’t be a real bomb threat: You've called a modem, not a phone

Re: Work bomb scare and Somerset

Was said upper class miscreant in a double breasted suit with a supercilious voice. Could it have been JRM then?

Twitter starts auction to flip the bird, furniture, pizza ovens, gadgets galore

the neon light might be a good investment

If twitler really does bankrupt it, memorabilia from an early 21st century antisocial might become valuable in the future.

2002 video streaming patent holder sues Amazon and Twitch

IANAL and confused

http is an open standard. How is it possible to have a patent on it?

NHS England Palantir contract extension could result in further legal threats

Re: chums

Fair point. Dishcloth does seem to be in thrall to the tech bros in silly con

All your data are belong to us

Collect all that health data up and sell it to the private providers who will be brought in to 'sort out the crisis'.