* Posts by Roger Kynaston

846 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2007


Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

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Larry realises that he made a mistake in 2011 and spins out a hardware and unix operating system company which calls itself Stellar Unix Networks.

The resulting company invests a fortune in the RISC-V foundation and revolutionises server architecture.

OpenCart owner turns air blue after researcher discloses serious vuln

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Is this Kerr a Reg commentard?

I rather hope so as he can furhter enhance the reputation of his company by gracing these fora with his considered observations.

Clorox CISO flushes self after multimillion-dollar cyberattack

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Florida businessman advice

Did they "drink their own koolaid" and ingest some bleach?

Enquiring minds wish to know.

Theora video codec to be coded out from Chrome and Firefox

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odd groklaw link

Back in the day when Darl McBride was going to bring civilisation as we know it to an end I remember the ever diligent Pamela Jones encouraging people to use ogg instead of mp3 for audio. This story brought that back to me.

Rocket Lab sets sights on 2024-2025 window for Venus mission

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Re: A nightflight?

Yeah, I thought of that. Then there was the scientist involved in the phosphene discovery who rewrote Life on Mars to be Life on Venus.

Linus Torvalds releases Linux 6.6 after running out of excuses for further work

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Re: Iron Maiden - Number of the beast

What happens we the seventh release of the seventh patch of the seventh version comes along?

BOFH: Adventures in overenthusiastic automation

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Five is alive!

Was a crappy eighties rom com prescient?

-> Friday

Larry Ale-ison institute invests in Oxford pub linked to Tolkien, CS Lewis

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Will Postgres aquire another pub

I don't know Oxford well enough to suggest one though.

They could have another pub just down the road where the beer is free but you pay for the seat you sit on and have to pull your own pint (and sometime change the cask).

I would suggest Mysql but they are owned by the (L)Aslan

Come work at HQ... or find a new job, Roblox CEO tells staff

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<fill in your own intemperate words here>

The thing with these mandated back the office proles/peons is the lack of choice. Some people like the office experience. Some don't. It could go the other way where a company decides to save on office rental by forcing everyone out.

This CEO (wank puffin is my choice of insult) seems to have forgotten that happy staff are more productive. Let the ones who are happy use Zoom/Teams/Slack and let the social animals have their water cooler moments.

I'd be interested if his office door is open for everyone to 'talk to senior management'.

Boris Johnson's mad hydrogen for homes bubble bursts

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as others have pointed out

This was only partly the blonde pus monster's idea and he has to share it with the Maybot. That said, you forgot to add Bozo's idea of a tunnel between Scotland and Ireland to his list of hairbrained ideas.

curl vulnerabilities ironed out with patches after week-long tease

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Do the developers have a couple of assistants vigorously brushing the floor as their desks slide down the office? Enquiring minds wish to know.

Fresh curl tomorrow will patch 'worst' security flaw in ages

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a bit toe curling

The whole thing just makes me want to curl up in a ball in bed.

Cat accused of wiping US Veteran Affairs server info after jumping on keyboard

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cat /dev/null

They meant to type cat vista > /dev/null

but it got changed to

cat /dev/null > vista

X confuses the masses by removing all details from links

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Now they want him out

If the banks think he is a band thing why the hell did they lend the money for him to buy it in the first place? His lack of judgement was always plain to see. There are other words to describe him but I'll stick with that for now. How long til the banks call in the loans I wonder?

NASA taking its time unboxing asteroid sample because it grabbed too much stuff

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I hope the dust isn't part of the shattered remains of a super computer that designed a hperspatial bomb that will destroy the universe in toto!

Kudos to the scientists though for a seriously cool project.

Microsoft introduces AI meddling to your files with Copilot in OneDrive

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One for the kids

I know that youngsters don't do filing like us old farts used to do and rely on search instead. Sort of a key-pair hash rather than heirarchical DB but they ought to allow us oldies to turn it off and use more traditional ways of organising our work.

Bids for ISS demolition rights are now open, NASA declares

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Re: A better alternative

"Gonna be a great Sun dive"

Of course we need to make sure Marvin is on it first to teleport the humans in random directions.

I'll see your data loss and raise you a security policy violation

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Re: What's in a name?

Then there are the huorns (those almost ent trees) in LOTR.

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My Solaris experience was with a local government system which stored (by design) a load of files in /tmp. I rebooted the server and a load of important files were lost. The blowback was surprisingly muted.

Icon because Friday and I am on leave in ten minutes time.

Grant Shapps named UK defense supremo in latest 'tech-savvy' Tory tale

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Not a popular appointment

Even on the Fail the comments were that he was useless. Will he raise a glass of schnapps to whatever fuck up he oversees?

Let's give these quadruped robot dogs next-gen XM7 rifles, says US Army

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fool proof way to counter these beasts

I presume that like all dogs they will regularly sniff each others backsides? Simply hack the weapons system to fire the gun when presented with a robotic arse/ass. Job done!

LibreOffice 7.6 arrives: Open source stalwart is showing its maturity

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a useful feature

Improve the formula editor so it is easier to put latex like stuff in documents. It works OK but not brilliantly. I will use texmaker on this MAC for real work but the OU still requires assignemnts to be docx, doc or rtf.

Japan's digital minister surrenders salary to say sorry for data leaks

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salary forfeit scheme

The trouble is that I doubt that Thick Lizzie has £40 odd billion or whatever she wiped off our pensions.

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Re: The UK is the opposite

You beat me to it.

Perhaps we should set up a campaign to write to MPs suggesting a salary sacrifice scheme should be enacted for ministers when a project they sponsored doesn't go to plan. It could be made retrospective so Camoron and Bozo can be penalised for the HS2 omnishambolic clusterfuck.

Clorox cleans up IT security breach that soaked its biz ops

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sql injection attack?

I can't help wondering if they took the advice of a florida "businessman" and injected their product.

Have you ever suspected your colleague doesn't hope this email finds you well?*

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Re: Excessive deodorant or perfume

back in the days (a long time back) I spent some time driving taxis in Taunton. There was a unique smell associated with old unwashed man who drank rough cider and smoked Bensons or senior service. It would take half an hour with all the windows open to clear it.

Zoom's new London hub – where 'remote work' meets 'we need you back in the office'

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commercial landlords

I think the above are shitting bricks about all the squilliions they borrowed and may now stand to lose if companies shrink their office size.

My non scientific view is that home/hybrid work with a choice of mix/mode is the best way to manage R&R these days. After all if Elmo is all in favour of everyone being in the orifice full time it must be a bad idea.

Zoom really ought to think about what they are in business for.

UK voter data within reach of miscreants who hacked Electoral Commission

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correct name for a certain former PM

Please don't call him that. The correct term is "that lying little shit" or "the blonde pus monster"

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security is borked

This is only the latest in a series of terrible breaches of data - Crapita not securing an S3 bucket with USS pension details on it. Other actors stealing data from LPFA and such like. I am now working on the assumption that I have been comprehensivly pwned.

I don't know if it is state actors or straightforward crims (assuming there is a difference) but we need a completely new approach to security. At present, it appears that I am responsible for policing any unauthorised use of my data and there is no recourse to get compensation from the leaker - perhaps that should be the case.


We'd pay good money to see... oh dear, Elon Musk 'needs an MRI scan'

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arsehole moron pretends to fight another arsehole moron

All in the title.

Japanese boffins slice semiconductors from diamonds – with lasers!

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Wot no sharks!?

Frikkin lasers on semiconductors doesn't have the same ring to it.

Twitter name and blue bird logo to be 'blowtorched' off company branding

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Re: Mr Xorg

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Xorg.

Sadly Bruce Willis won't be able to 'negotiate' the chief twat away.

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Moron alert. Again

I should be pleased that he is killing off a toxic platform that served and little purpose and now serves no purpose but it is sad that real people are going to lose their livelihoods over this.

Framework starts taking orders for 16-inch repairable, upgradeable laptop

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Thumb Up

Interesting looking toy

I will look at these seriously if they are still around when the Admiral's X1 Carbon finally gives up the ghost.

Boris Johnson pleads ignorance, which just might work

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Please. No Bozo pictures

We see his ugly mug in all the other news outlets. It is nice that El Reg doesn't feel the need to feed his narcissistic neediness. Could you substitute a suitable vegetable when reporting on him. My vote would be for an aubergine.

SUSE announces its own RHEL-compatible distro... again

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Just saying.

BOFH: Lies, damned lies, and standards

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Re: Association of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment.

Over here we'll have the Associated Realm of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment

Ripoff Vuitton handbag smaller than a grain of salt fetches $63,750 at auction

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Naah. Too big for that!

Alphabet, Bharti Airtel to bridge India's digital divide with frickin' laser beams

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dual use?

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beat me to it

My other pedant mode is saying that a hydra was a many headed monster so to have a many headed many headed monster is a bit much.

Cunningly camouflaged cable routed around WAN-sized hole in project budget

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spanning tree!

Shirly there were wome banyan vines involved as well.

Apologies for the blatant bandwagon jumping.

Britain's largest private pension scheme reveals scale of Capita break-in

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stuck record

Shirly (again) it is time that decision makers did a proper due diligence (again) when assessing who might be a good outsourcing partner (again) and not give the work to the same old pile of shit companies (again).

I shall await the email saying that sadly, my data was amongst that which was stolen/exfiltrated/encrypted/lost and that USS will do it's utmost to help but cannot be held responsible for this (again). I'll also wait for the avalanche of phishing emails of course.

Is there anything tape can’t fix? This techie used it to defeat the Sun

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Wrong Sun

I was all primed for a story of derring do with my previous favourite hardware and OS company.

I feel robbed now!

BOFH takes a visit to retro computing land

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from a wormhole that opened from 30 years in the future

Is that an X1 Carbon? What is the depreciation on that. I wrote my first project plan on one of those. Would you be able to dispose of it responsibly?

Ooh look an M1 Mac. They were soo cool with their combined CPU/GPU.

10TB nas box. I had one of that to stash all my pr0n.

and so on

Shocks from a hairy jumper crashed a PC, but the boss wouldn't believe it

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capital of BC

Prince George!!!????? Try Victoria.


China space agency reckons Zhurong Mars rover has probably been done in by dust

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Sorry to hear that

Clearly not enough dust storms where it is which helped Opportunity last so much longer than the planned.

Several Tsing-Tao to the team though. ->

Oracle's examplar win over SAP for Birmingham City Council is 3 years late

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complicated business

Public sector bodies are always more complex than their private sector counterparts. A bank has to move money around. A local authority has to move money around, maintain houses, make sure children are cared for, make sure vulnurable adults are cared for, lend books out and keep said book repositories open and warm for those unable to get warm anywhere else, make sure the non-vulnerable children are able to read and do sums and allow a bunch of elected political types tell everyone to do this stuff.

I work in a University now and that has its own set of complexities. Heaven forbid that I find my way to central government!

Balloon-borne telescope returns first photos in search for dark matter

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Re: We need a Reg unit of altitude

Eiffel tower is 330 m. I am sure that loads of heights are given as equivalent of x eifel towers. If the khalifa was adopted it might cause confusion with Mia Khalifa.

Thanks for fixing the computer lab. Now tell us why we shouldn’t expel you?

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old password

used to be g0d though I am sure that would fall foul of modern complexity and length rules. I wonder if anyone uses


GlobalFoundries sues IBM for flogging 'chip secrets to Intel, Rapidus'

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lawyers "kerching"

Clearly we don't know if the parties tried to resolve this without recourse to litigation but this business most of use commentards work in seems to be way too fond of taking each other to court. There are only ever one set of winners from that sort of thing.