* Posts by Roger Kynaston

868 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2007


BOFH: The new Boss, Aiman, is suspiciously good – for now

Roger Kynaston

But but ...

How can you defenestrate him with a cattle prod?

Great episode though.

404 Day celebrates the internet's most infamous no-show

Roger Kynaston

Re: Grot

Ah yes. I also remember the genuine second had chandlery in Lymington - Yachtgrot. Something that ebay did for I suppose.

Lenovo scores deal to build supercomputer at UK's Hartree Center

Roger Kynaston

Shiny new toy

I'm glad that things like this are being built here in Blighty. But I can't help thinking that the Science and Technologies Facilities Council should have named itself the Science and Technologies Facilities Unit.

Sorry, it had to be done!

BOFH: So you want more boardroom tech that no one knows how to use

Roger Kynaston

Re: The best weapon when dealing with idiots is… another idiot

Plus one and one of these -> for the Cabin Pressure reference.

Yes, I did just crash that critical app. And you should thank me for having done so

Roger Kynaston

Anyone else encounter Simian?

We were forever having to monkey around with it!

McDonald's ordering system suffers McFlurry of tech troubles

Roger Kynaston

They migrated to Apple

And they ran so hot that everything melted.

I couldn't squeeze a raspberry pi crap joke in though.

Voyager 1 starts making sense again after months of babble

Roger Kynaston

Re: Perspective (OT as well)

Many years ago before I ascended to the heady heights of systems administrator I had a job driving taxis in Taunton where Debenhams had their data processing facility. A daily job was for one of us to go round to their place with a van at four AM and pick upreams of fandfold paper for transport to the head office on Oxford St. Goodness knows what happened to it but I struggled to imagine the eighties equivalient of the C-suite wading through it all.

They call me 'Growler'. I don't like you. Let's discuss your pay cut

Roger Kynaston

scrumpy memories

Back in the late eighties I drove a taxi in Taunton. There were a couple of 'cider' pubs near the market where the farmers would drink the profits. One was notorious as it would refuse to serve its cider to what they termed foreigners. The other gained some notoreity when another driver came on the radio to tell us that the wall spearating the lounge from the bar wasn't there any more because someone had been thrown through it.

Happy days even if said anecdote has nothing to do with the original story!

Obvious icon and I will be having my last Red Strip of this visit to the In Laws in a few hours while waiting at NMIA.

FAA gives Boeing 90 days to fix serious safety shortcomings found in report

Roger Kynaston

Re: So they need a name change, really

Reminds me of the old black joke skydivers used to tell each other. "If you are going in grab the grass so you don't bounce!"

Icon since I expect that Boing senior manglement are drinking a lot of it.

Venus has a quasi-moon and it's just been named 'Zoozve' for a sweet reason

Roger Kynaston

Next planetary 'moon'

This needs to be called Aderin after the incomparable Maggie Aderin-Pocock

Angry mob trashes and sets fire to Waymo self-driving car

Roger Kynaston


Downfall of The Machines. Or will this trigger their rising?

UK water giant admits attackers broke into system as gang holds it to ransom

Roger Kynaston

Out of every orifice

It seems that water companies are leaking shit everywhere. I wonder if they outsource their IT to Fujitsu.

How governments become addicted to suppliers like Fujitsu

Roger Kynaston

Fujitsu rebrand

ICL anyone.

I had to support some Team Servers way back when if anyone remembers those monstrosities.

Silicon Valley weirdo's quest to dodge death – yours for $333 a month

Roger Kynaston

I know it is wrong

You really shouldn't point at people and laugh but these idiots in Silly Valley really do make it hard for me not to.

No I am off to eat some chocolate (not super dark) and drink some wine because Friday and the like of this Johnson have driven me to it

Broadcom ditches VMware Cloud Service Providers

Roger Kynaston

Mergers and Aquisitions

Why do Tech companies keep buying each other? I know that the founders can make a killing from it but in the wider picture it seems to killl good products off. I used to be a Solaris admin and welcomed the move Sun made to make it an open source OS just before the Oracle buyout but Larry killed that off because he really wanted Java. An alternative to Linux (yes I know BSD is there) would have been good but no.

Now Broadcom looks set to kill VMWare for all but the biggest customers. Is late stage capitilism simply borked or are tech billionaires arseholes?

Juno's joyride around Jupiter snaps stellar shots of Io

Roger Kynaston

please no imperial

71,450 miles (115,000 kilometres)

should be

115 000 km (71 450 miles)


BOFH: The Christmas party was so good, an independent inquiry is required

Roger Kynaston

Ah Christmas parties

I remember when they really were multi-day affairs. Good episode too.

Obvious icon

Zuckerberg hunkers down in Hawaii to wait out apocalypse

Roger Kynaston

struggle to comprehend

When they mention how much money these whatevers have the numbers just wash over but sometimes it does hit home. I am a lowly sysadmin and will never even begin to climb to the top of any greasy poles - especially now I am late fifties. So when I hear that he is dropping $270 million on a personal theme park I change that to sterlying £212M odd and reflect that I will never see even 1/212th. What do you do with all that? I have an expensive dream with a nice boat that would cost likely £650K as my absolute dream.

Highly unoriginal but then this is an unoriginal time of year.

Google Groups ditches links to Usenet, the OG social network

Roger Kynaston

my usenet experience

I followed an alt.sailing group for a while but as most of the contributers seemed to be from the east coast of the US and ignored anyone not sailing there I didn't stay on longer.

I do remember and liking sunmanagers mailing list though.

Microsoft embraces its inner penguin with Linux-powered Windows AI Studio

Roger Kynaston

Feeling trapped

A penguin trapped in a Windows body?

BOFH: Just because we've had record revenues doesn't mean you get a Xmas bonus

Roger Kynaston

if only

The Downing Street parties had been conducted on this basis during covid

Bank's datacenter died after travelling back in time to 1970

Roger Kynaston

radio ntp

I remember those toys. I can't remember why the local authority I was working at couldn't just allow port ntp through the firewall but there was a "reason". It wasn't batteries that caused the outage though. Window cleaners had dislodged the network cable.

icon because it is nearly that time

Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

Roger Kynaston


Larry realises that he made a mistake in 2011 and spins out a hardware and unix operating system company which calls itself Stellar Unix Networks.

The resulting company invests a fortune in the RISC-V foundation and revolutionises server architecture.

OpenCart owner turns air blue after researcher discloses serious vuln

Roger Kynaston

Is this Kerr a Reg commentard?

I rather hope so as he can furhter enhance the reputation of his company by gracing these fora with his considered observations.

Clorox CISO flushes self after multimillion-dollar cyberattack

Roger Kynaston

Florida businessman advice

Did they "drink their own koolaid" and ingest some bleach?

Enquiring minds wish to know.

Theora video codec to be coded out from Chrome and Firefox

Roger Kynaston

odd groklaw link

Back in the day when Darl McBride was going to bring civilisation as we know it to an end I remember the ever diligent Pamela Jones encouraging people to use ogg instead of mp3 for audio. This story brought that back to me.

Rocket Lab sets sights on 2024-2025 window for Venus mission

Roger Kynaston

Re: A nightflight?

Yeah, I thought of that. Then there was the scientist involved in the phosphene discovery who rewrote Life on Mars to be Life on Venus.

Linus Torvalds releases Linux 6.6 after running out of excuses for further work

Roger Kynaston

Re: Iron Maiden - Number of the beast

What happens we the seventh release of the seventh patch of the seventh version comes along?

BOFH: Adventures in overenthusiastic automation

Roger Kynaston

Five is alive!

Was a crappy eighties rom com prescient?

-> Friday

Larry Ale-ison institute invests in Oxford pub linked to Tolkien, CS Lewis

Roger Kynaston

Will Postgres aquire another pub

I don't know Oxford well enough to suggest one though.

They could have another pub just down the road where the beer is free but you pay for the seat you sit on and have to pull your own pint (and sometime change the cask).

I would suggest Mysql but they are owned by the (L)Aslan

Come work at HQ... or find a new job, Roblox CEO tells staff

Roger Kynaston

<fill in your own intemperate words here>

The thing with these mandated back the office proles/peons is the lack of choice. Some people like the office experience. Some don't. It could go the other way where a company decides to save on office rental by forcing everyone out.

This CEO (wank puffin is my choice of insult) seems to have forgotten that happy staff are more productive. Let the ones who are happy use Zoom/Teams/Slack and let the social animals have their water cooler moments.

I'd be interested if his office door is open for everyone to 'talk to senior management'.

Boris Johnson's mad hydrogen for homes bubble bursts

Roger Kynaston

as others have pointed out

This was only partly the blonde pus monster's idea and he has to share it with the Maybot. That said, you forgot to add Bozo's idea of a tunnel between Scotland and Ireland to his list of hairbrained ideas.

curl vulnerabilities ironed out with patches after week-long tease

Roger Kynaston


Do the developers have a couple of assistants vigorously brushing the floor as their desks slide down the office? Enquiring minds wish to know.

Fresh curl tomorrow will patch 'worst' security flaw in ages

Roger Kynaston

a bit toe curling

The whole thing just makes me want to curl up in a ball in bed.

Cat accused of wiping US Veteran Affairs server info after jumping on keyboard

Roger Kynaston

cat /dev/null

They meant to type cat vista > /dev/null

but it got changed to

cat /dev/null > vista

X confuses the masses by removing all details from links

Roger Kynaston

Now they want him out

If the banks think he is a band thing why the hell did they lend the money for him to buy it in the first place? His lack of judgement was always plain to see. There are other words to describe him but I'll stick with that for now. How long til the banks call in the loans I wonder?

NASA taking its time unboxing asteroid sample because it grabbed too much stuff

Roger Kynaston


I hope the dust isn't part of the shattered remains of a super computer that designed a hperspatial bomb that will destroy the universe in toto!

Kudos to the scientists though for a seriously cool project.

Microsoft introduces AI meddling to your files with Copilot in OneDrive

Roger Kynaston

One for the kids

I know that youngsters don't do filing like us old farts used to do and rely on search instead. Sort of a key-pair hash rather than heirarchical DB but they ought to allow us oldies to turn it off and use more traditional ways of organising our work.

Bids for ISS demolition rights are now open, NASA declares

Roger Kynaston

Re: A better alternative

"Gonna be a great Sun dive"

Of course we need to make sure Marvin is on it first to teleport the humans in random directions.

I'll see your data loss and raise you a security policy violation

Roger Kynaston

Re: What's in a name?

Then there are the huorns (those almost ent trees) in LOTR.

Roger Kynaston


My Solaris experience was with a local government system which stored (by design) a load of files in /tmp. I rebooted the server and a load of important files were lost. The blowback was surprisingly muted.

Icon because Friday and I am on leave in ten minutes time.

Grant Shapps named UK defense supremo in latest 'tech-savvy' Tory tale

Roger Kynaston

Not a popular appointment

Even on the Fail the comments were that he was useless. Will he raise a glass of schnapps to whatever fuck up he oversees?

Let's give these quadruped robot dogs next-gen XM7 rifles, says US Army

Roger Kynaston

fool proof way to counter these beasts

I presume that like all dogs they will regularly sniff each others backsides? Simply hack the weapons system to fire the gun when presented with a robotic arse/ass. Job done!

LibreOffice 7.6 arrives: Open source stalwart is showing its maturity

Roger Kynaston

a useful feature

Improve the formula editor so it is easier to put latex like stuff in documents. It works OK but not brilliantly. I will use texmaker on this MAC for real work but the OU still requires assignemnts to be docx, doc or rtf.

Japan's digital minister surrenders salary to say sorry for data leaks

Roger Kynaston

salary forfeit scheme

The trouble is that I doubt that Thick Lizzie has £40 odd billion or whatever she wiped off our pensions.

Roger Kynaston

Re: The UK is the opposite

You beat me to it.

Perhaps we should set up a campaign to write to MPs suggesting a salary sacrifice scheme should be enacted for ministers when a project they sponsored doesn't go to plan. It could be made retrospective so Camoron and Bozo can be penalised for the HS2 omnishambolic clusterfuck.

Clorox cleans up IT security breach that soaked its biz ops

Roger Kynaston

sql injection attack?

I can't help wondering if they took the advice of a florida "businessman" and injected their product.

Have you ever suspected your colleague doesn't hope this email finds you well?*

Roger Kynaston

Re: Excessive deodorant or perfume

back in the days (a long time back) I spent some time driving taxis in Taunton. There was a unique smell associated with old unwashed man who drank rough cider and smoked Bensons or senior service. It would take half an hour with all the windows open to clear it.

Zoom's new London hub – where 'remote work' meets 'we need you back in the office'

Roger Kynaston

commercial landlords

I think the above are shitting bricks about all the squilliions they borrowed and may now stand to lose if companies shrink their office size.

My non scientific view is that home/hybrid work with a choice of mix/mode is the best way to manage R&R these days. After all if Elmo is all in favour of everyone being in the orifice full time it must be a bad idea.

Zoom really ought to think about what they are in business for.

UK voter data within reach of miscreants who hacked Electoral Commission

Roger Kynaston

correct name for a certain former PM

Please don't call him that. The correct term is "that lying little shit" or "the blonde pus monster"