* Posts by TeeCee

9436 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

You Leica? P9 certainly is a Great Leap Forward in imaging... for Huawei

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WTF?

Re: Chinese manufacturers aren't too bothered about their stuff once it's out the door.

At that price I'd like to think you get a member of Huawei's staff personally assigned to you to sort any issues you may have.

They can't charge iPhone prices without Apple's flocks of wealthy sheep crying out to be fleeced....

US anti-encryption law is so 'braindead' it will outlaw file compression

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WTF?

Just out of interest.......

.....is every piece of US legislation that's named after two people the work of drooling morons?

Google broke its own cloud AGAIN, with TWO software bugs

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Facepalm

Yes, but the whole point of this "cloud" thing is that it's supposed to have redundancy and a complete lack of any single failure point built in (i.e. "five nines" availability is implicit in the concept we were sold). It should be physically impossible for any human error to break the whole thing.

Using two clouds to make a reliable cloud is like owning a dog and barking for it. More to the point, you've just added a SPOF in the bit that handles which one your traffic's going to (or maybe we're thinking of hosting that on a third service???).

Wake me up when somebody comes up with an offering in this area that's actually bloody fit for purpose.

I bless the reins down on .africa ... Dot-word injunction hits ICANN

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Meh

...received endorsement of the African Union....

Which usually translates as: "Greased the right palms".

Hey, Atlantis Computing. What the heck is this in your EULA?

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Meh

Re: Isn't that basically already banned ?

That's all right, the comment was obviously written from a Yank perspective.

It mentioned free speech and we don't have that over here either......

We have the totalitarian version, the Human Rights act. This is where the government gets to tell you what your rights are rather than you having the inalienable right to stand up and tell them.

NASA prepares to unpack pump-up space podule

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WTF?

Really?

....will return to the module for a few hours several times a year....

Yeah, right. If they haven't got a ball up there somewhere and aren't in there using the empty space to thrash out rules for some sort of 3D volleyball-alike at every opportunity I'll be amazed.

Astroboffin discovers exoplanet by accident ... in 1917

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Coat

Re: Grey Dwarf?

Next week: Dulux announce "White with a hint of planet".

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Stop

Hear hear.

A classic example is the Millenium Domesday project. The original Domesday Book was written on vellum and can still be read today. The new version was compiled to laserdisc......good luck with finding something to read that in a few years' time.....

BlackBerry boss mulls mid-range Androids

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Meh

Re: Just can't make it work?

Actually an Exchange server is perfectly capable of handling standard email protocol access. The problem is that it does waaaayyyy more than just email and standards are something of a shit sandwich when it comes to all the other stuff.

It might make more sense to just bite the bullet and badge the existing, working and battle-hardened Exchange protocols as the "standard" for office productivity servers.......

Daily! Mail! eyes! up! Yahoo!'s news! arm!

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Facepalm

Re: If all print media go online-only

It'll make no difference, you haven't been allowed to wrap chips in newspaper for some years now, some sort of elf 'n savdee scam I suppose.

They even sell proper catering wrapping paper printed to look like newspaper to keep the traditionalists happy.

As far as I'm aware, the number of people who died as a result of chips wrapped in surplus newspaper is zero....... presumably that didn't stop some Whitehall supreme cuntbucket putting paid to the practice.

Banned

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Either that or an impressive cockup in the latest Splaffer version......

Watch: SpaceX finally lands Falcon rocket on robo-barge in one piece

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WTF?

BEAM

After testing, the ISS version will be detached and fired back to Earth so that it can burn up in the atmosphere.

Er, why?

Surely (a) they could do with the free space, if only to horse around in and (b) proving that the thing's up to the job long term would be rather useful (as in you wouldn't want to proceed with its planned use without that proof).

Dropping 1,000 cats from 32km: How practical is that?

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Re: Cats are self-guided when it comes to lasers

Somebody's got their collective nouns confused, surely these would be clowder munitions anyway?

If there's a treaty banning those I'd be amazed and then also have to admire the foresight of its authors.

London to Dover 'smart' road could help make driverless cars mainstream – expert

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Mushroom

Here we go again.

Oddly enough, people can drive cars without being connected to the Internet.

For any viable autonomous car, a prerequisite is that it must work perfectly without a connection, as such lacks 100% 24x7 availability and its being less "reliable" or "safe" without such is utterly unacceptable.

The only reason for the "connected car" being a "must have" for an autonomous vehicle is that someone, somewhere in its genesis has a data collection scam going.

I wonder what this particular lying little twat's angle is?

Hubble spies supermassive black hole in surprising spot

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Re: Or dark matter is other universes

The key here (which is where the wingnut above gets it wrong) is "observable universe". When you look into distant space, you are also looking into the distant past, as light takes its time to get from there to here.

Eventually you are looking so far that you've reached the time of the Big Bang and anything further away didn't exist at the time by definition.

No galaxy accelerates so fast it becomes invisible, it's invisible 'cos from our point of reference it isn't there yet!

Huawei's P9 flagship: There's a lot to Leica

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Re: Software

Unless Huawei have changed something since the P6, that doesn't work. Google's own launcher doesn't understand Huawei's "semi-soft" buttons and fucks up the screen aspect ratio.

Having said that, I like Huawei's skin[1]. Unless you have hundreds, rather than tens, of apps installed, the "all in one place" thing seems better.

I'd almost be tempted to buy one of these, were it not for the OnePlus Two[2] and the significant price discrepancy......

[1] Although I've binned all their widgets off it.

[2] Still the best I've played with and as soon as you consider price, the best full stop.

Florida weed suspect cuffed after hoverboard pursuit

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Well that's really going to make you paranoid.

There you are doing 50mph on a hoverboard and the cops are catching you on foot......

EU pushes probe up Google's ad alley

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Oh the USA's protectionism in Aviation goes back to before Airbus.

The most obvious example was when Concorde turned up and the US government dropped a quiet word to Pan Am, TWA and such that they should wait for the domestic SSTs to come out. Both Boeing and McDonnell Douglas had programs to build one running at the time. The government's side of the bargain was to ban Concorde from JFK on noise grounds which, as the aircraft had been designed for the transatlantic run, left it a bit screwed.

Eventually both the US makers pulled the plug on their projects and JFK became magically available to Concorde, which duly started to do what it was for. I have it on good authority that the US Airlines were very interested in buying a number of airframes, which would have made Concorde a roaring success, but we'd stopped building them by then....

Brits rattle tin for 'revolutionary' hydrogen-powered car

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Investors beware!

....these super-capacitors can take a huge charge very quickly, but they don’t store a lot of energy.

And when, very soon now, someone gets the first bit of that married to batteries' storage capacity, everything Hydrogen powered will be made obsolete overnight.

I'm afraid that anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see that the "Hydrogen economy" is a massive blind alley. All Hydrogen does is serve as a seriously bloody inefficient[1] way of storing electricity and moving it from A to B.

[1] Regardless of how efficient your electrolysis process and fuel cells are, the act of moving the Hydrogen from where it's produced to where it's needed is pure unnecessary overhead.

We bet your firm doesn't stick to half of these 10 top IT admin tips

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Facepalm

.... laptop nicked from the back seat of their car....

Depends how senior the owner is. I know of one who went one better and got his fleet car nicked with the laptop in it. Within a week a new laptop was his and a new Merc on order.

Which was a shame really as a few days later the cops called to say they'd found his car. It was still locked, with the laptop in it, parked about 200 yards from where he thought he'd parked it before getting wankered that evening.....

Mobe and Wi-Fi firms flog your location data to commercial firms, claim reports

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Holmes

Really?

The only slightly surprising information here is that there would appear to be two Departments of Stating the Bleedin' Obvious, producing independent reports.

Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

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Coat

".... why do people hang dog poos in trees?"

Wrong question.

The correct question is: What does Elon Musk think he needs genetically engineered dog / squirrel hybrids for?

Full Linux-on-PS4 hits Github

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Re: Puzzled

So it's a slightly non-standard PC then? Maybe a Mac comparison would be better.

Note that CPU/GPU shared memory setups have been common on low-end PCs for years, although having both on the same die is a recent thing in the x86 world (AMD APUs and now the Intel Haswells playing catchup). Having only 8Gb to satisfy both seems a little low in this days and age.

'Panama papers' came from email server hack at Mossack Fonseca

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Coat

Re: Panama canal

Luxury!

When I were a lad we 'ad piggy bank with thruppence in farthings in it.

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Happy

Re: Given the scarcity of items on our cousins in the material released...

It's called Vodka and being too wasted to give a shit about anything much is a side-effect.

This is where Gorbachev came unstuck. He clamped down on the Vodka supply, the population sobered up briefly, noticed him and kicked him out.

'Devastating' bug pops secure doors at airports, hospitals

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Headmaster

Odd.

I can't find any airlines that fly to the Southern Ohio Medical Centre......

Bring on the goats! Apple's cloud failure demands further sacrifice

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Meh

Re: Article takes many words to state the bleedin' obvious...

I missed the subtext. I saw "I may be a blinkered fanboi with lots of Apple kit, but even I've noticed it's a heap of shit behind the scenes.".

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Facepalm

Hmmm...

Apple currently has at least six distinct cloud infrastructure projects underway....

Well, there's the next fuckup, right there. You see, this cloud thing? There really should be only one of it. Six distinct projects will result in six things with very obvious joins between them.......

Which keys should I press to enable the CockUp feature?

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Facepalm

Re: I've been april fooled

No. it's common sense not to go around pressing weird key combinations on the offchance they might do something. For a start, if they do, you'll then have no idea how to undo it. Especially if you happen to be the sort of person who believes that because you're a highly qualified ${professional} you have no need to study how to use one of the key tools of your job properly.

Apple Fools: Times the House of Jobs went horribly awry

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Coat

Re: That hockey puck mouse

You're holding it right.

The Register to publish Mindful Sysadmin adult colouring book

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Coat

I'd definitely buy the eBook version ....

Seriously, don't. Have you ever tried getting crayon off a screen?

Patch out for 'ridiculous' Trend Micro command execution vuln

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Happy

Oh, the irony.

Trend Micro Maximum Security

Well, if you will tempt Fate with a name like that.....

Furious English villagers force council climbdown over Satan's stone booty

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Facepalm

Spot the problem.

Is it:-

a) The fact that there's been a massive and obvious lump of rock in such and such a place since forever?

b) The fact that some myopic fucktard drove into it and is being well paid for doing so.?

(If it helps any, the solution to (a) is "move the rock" and the solution to (b) is "make being a claims lawyer an offence punishable by burning at the stake".)

Hi! Up here! I'm your Amazon drone. Do you mind if I land now?

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WTF?

Propellors.

It's "contra-rotating", not "counter rotating". Quite a common setup on turboprop aircraft.

Guess what? They don't cancel noise and none of them have ever talked to anyone.....

Love our open API? Talk to our lawyers, says If This Then That

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Facepalm

Obvious.

... IFTTT claims ownership over content passing through its service.....

Well, if you are trying to get bought by Faceberk it probably helps to be compatible with their terms of service to ensure a seamless, legal transition.

It won't make any difference. It's not like there's been a mass exodus from Darth Zuckerbitch's Imperium since they introduced their "We pwns everfing u put heer and ur little dog too" terms.

Zombie SCO rises from the grave again

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Meh

Jam yesterday, jam tomorrow........

.... its only asset is the claims it has against IBM. The company's still capable of paying its lawyers....

Probably not. My guess would be that the remains of SCO is totally in hock to its lawyers, who won't get paid unless they win. As soon as they admit defeat, they'll have to take a monumental writedown and quite possibly go bust[1] themselves. As long as they keep the case on life support they can allocate the costs of doing so to this fictional, future bonanza, like a donkey following a carrot on a stick.

Of course the donkey's probably rather more smart than SCO's lawyers, but the analogy still holds.....

[1] Or at least get reduced to driving landfill GM or Ford cars like the proles.

US govt says it has cracked killer's iPhone, legs it from Apple fight

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Alert

Re: Fingerprints

Could be simpler than you think.

I remember the Mythbusters doing that. They acquired a cheap USB fingerprint reader to test with and after several failures, ended up building a fake finger to get it to play ball. Once they had that sorted, they moved on to the real challenge, a multi-thousand dollar fingerprint activated biometric lock system.

That one opened first try with their fake finger...... and also when given a piece of sellotape with a fingerprint on it.......(!!)

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Coat

Re: Passcode

Okay, hands up all those who have that on their luggage......

Ever wondered what the worst TV show in the world would be? Apple just commissioned it

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Facepalm

Re: It could be good, or it could be a barely disguised ad for the App Store..

Something like "The Social Network" did....

Yes of course, because that two-hour encomium to the genius of Zuckerbitch was just sooo wonderful, wasn't it?

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Coat

Re: Streaming services are a joke

I wonder if it'll be more painful/navel gazing than Helvetica?

Next week: Times New Roman - the movie.

Calm down, dear: Woman claims sexism in tech journalism

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Facepalm

Re: I get it. Really I do,

The problem here is that you can be very well paid for whining. It's called "compensation" and it's the root cause of most of what's wrong with the world....

When searching for why something's fucked up, look for where the lawyers got involved. The problem will be there.

Confused by crypto? Here's what that password hashing stuff means in English

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WTF?

Pinning.

So, in other words, pinning means: "We trust the following CA's, but not enough that we think they won't issue a bent cert purporting to be for our site. We need to check to ensure that the cert is from the right trusted CA...."?

If bent certs from trusted CA's is a real risk, then the word "trust" is being heavily misused by someone and fixing that, rather than sticking a layer of tape over the hole, is the right way to go.....

Microsoft did Nazi that coming: Teen girl chatbot turns into Hitler-loving sex troll in hours

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Facepalm

Re: The first mistake

Obviously anyone joining Twitter and proceeding to say normal things is a bot.....

Tracy Emin dons funeral shroud, marries stone

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Coat

Odd.

This seems terribly self-restrained by her standards.

I've heard of groupies who've done it with all the Stones......

Comms 'redlining' in Brussels as explosions kill up to 30 people

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WTF?

That's perspective for you.

A national airport down, 30-odd corpses and the big story is the comms congestion caused.....

Google spews critical Android patch as millions of gadgets hit by Linux kernel bug

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WTF?

Re: I've never been too impresses by phones

WTF is it??!!??

For the vast majority of Android phones, updates are slightly more rare than Dodos and Unicorns are in the wild.

I've already calculated that my chances of getting this fix are exactly Fuck All.

Pope kicks off Easter week by triumphal entry into ... Instagram

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Coat

Yawn!

"Pope on another social meejah thingy, pictures at 11."

Wake me up when he opens a grindr account..........

Electronic Superhighway 2016-1966 – a retro: Texts, ar*se and ASCII rolls

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Coat

It's conceptual.

Ah yes. The all-purpose art copout. As in:

"This is a massive heap of worthless shit!"

"It's conceptual."

"Aha, right you are then. £5 million wasn't it and will you take a cheque?"

Boffins find a way to put your facial expression on Donald Trump's mug

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Facepalm

No, it means you'll be able to get any actor for $5 million, so Will Smith will never work again.

Ben Nevis embiggened by a metre

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Happy

Ordnance survey.

Back in the 19th century they surveyed the whole of India by the time-honoured method of drawing virtual triangles all over it. When finished, they used the side of one triangle as a known baseline to measure the height of Mt Everest as an encore.

They were actually closer to the right answer than the 20th Century Yank team who famously measured both Everest and K2, erroneously declaring the latter to be taller........