* Posts by TeeCee

8672 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

E-scooter fanboy so hyped for Teesside to host UK's first trial

TeeCee Gold badge

...a provisional licence doesn't necessarily mean someone knows the rules of the road...

Gobsmacked I was the other day. Slowed down to let a scooter out at a junction and he looked both ways, came out in front, carefully looked past me for other scooter/motorcycle/cyclist doing the "organ donor's overtake" and then went for it.

Once my flabber had ceased gasting, I looked in my wing mirror at the receding scooter. Aha! No "L" plate on the back...

UN warns of global e-waste wave as amount of gadgets dumped jumps 21% in 5 years

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Facepalm

"The fate of 82.6 per cent.....is uncertain,..."

I'll have 50 quid on "chucked in a big hole somewhere" please.

Remember that black hole just 1,000 light years from Earth? Scientists queue up to say it may not exist after all

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Re: Who is stealing the stars?

God is an iron.

I was screwed over by Cisco managers who enforced India's caste hierarchy on me in US HQ, claims engineer

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Facepalm

Heads I win....

Of course. What Cisco should have done is bollock everyone he complained about.

Then been sued to shit for religious discrimination...

Boffins baffled as supergiant star just vanishes – either it partially blew itself apart or quietly turned into a black hole

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Alien

Quick, change the bulb before the Earthlings noti....Ah.....Bollocks.

India bans 59 apps it says have privacy, national security problems. In a massive coincidence, they’re all Chinese

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Facepalm

Tit for tat fail?

India: "You killed our soldiers so we'll ban your apps!"

China: "Er....meh?"

Beware the fresh Windows XP install: Failure awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth

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Re: chewed wires

When I was a kid we had a large, white rabbit. It would chew through anything, often live 240v mains, which never did it any harm at all.

All sorts of things ended up charred and smoking, but not the rabbit. To this day I wonder how it did it.

CSI: Amazon.com coming soon to a screen near you

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Meh

Re: Is it still a counterfeit

I've mentioned this before.

A watch collector I knew bought a "fake Rolex" sold as such in Italy. He bought it as he thought it was a very good fake. He also opened it up out of curiosity and was surprised to find an Eterna movement in it; "a far better movement than bloody Rolex ever fitted", as he put it.

Not all fakes are crap.

Machine-learning models trained on pre-COVID data are now completely out of whack, says Gartner

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Black Helicopters

Hmm.

I sometimes wonder just how much kickback Gartner get from the Big Consultancies.

After all, they're the ones who're going to get insanely rich[1] when world + dog asks them to fix the stuff Gartner says is screwed up.

[1] Ok then, insanely richer.

Ex-director cops community service after 5,000-file deletion spree on company Dropbox

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Meh

Re: Backups? We've heard of them...

That's because real Admins can always get it back and thus cover their tracks.

Having good backups is one of the differences between an actual admin and a luser promoted to where their incompetence can do real damage.

CERN puts two new atom-smashers on its shopping list. One to make Higgs Bosons, then a next-gen model six times more energetic than the LHC

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Coat

...energy recovery linacs.

Damn. I had one of those, but the little knob at the top came unscrewed and got lost, so I chucked it out.

Chrome extensions are 'the new rootkit' say researchers linking surveillance campaign to Israeli registrar Galcomm

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Facepalm

Maturity.

Once upon a time, all your work was done with applications running on an O/S. Many times it was found that weaknesses in the O/S permitted the underhand installation of nasty things that could compromise your applications. Over many years O/S security was improved until such things became, largely, a thing of the past.

Then we moved all your work into the browser...(!)

Rinse, repeat ad nauseum.

See also: Failing to learn from your own mistakes / Who could possibly have seen that coming? / etc.

Hey is trying a new take on email – but maker complains of 'outrageous' demands after Apple rejects iOS app

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Holmes

Hansson claims Apple's App Store practices are "capricious, exploitive, and inconsistent."

...and the sun came up this morning as well. All we need is evidence of bears crapping in the woods to complete the set.

Tens of millions of Internet-of-Things, network-connected gizmos at risk of remote hijacking? Computer, engage shocked mode

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Alert

There I was thinking that the real risk was my IoT fridge becoming prematurely obsolete[1]. Turns out that some miscreant resetting the freezer temperature to something likely to promote bacterial growth is the real danger.

Turns out we need a "Montezuma's Revenge" icon. Who knew?

[1] aka Last week's scare story to sell Which? subscriptions.

Machine learning helps geoboffins spot huge beds of hot rocks 1,000km across deep below Earth's surface

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Black Helicopters

...anomalies in seismic waves...

Hmm, I guess that would qualify as a "seismic anomaly" then? Probably just a fleet of Russian magnetohydrodynamic drive nuclear submarines deploying to strategic strike positions and nothing to worry about.

'One rule for me, another for them' is all well and good until it sinks the entire company's ability to receive emails

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Black Helicopters

Frank was shortly poached by a competitor...

Amazing how an errant Lotus Notes config could not only accidently send them his CV, but also alter it to make him look worth having.

Lettuce Encrypt, Encrypt We Must: Hobby projects change name after Let's Encrypt fires off trademark complaints

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Facepalm

"Heavy-handed or..."

Of course not! They have to protect their trademark or others could leech off it and severely dent their profit margin.

ISRG is nonprofit.... Oh. Right. Just heavy-handed then.

Rackspace changes name to – drum-roll please – ‘Rackspace Technology’

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Facepalm

Re: “Our new name, mission and multicloud solutions better represent the full value"

So close. If they'd managed to work "paradigm" into that they'd have had a house in wankword bingo.

25 years of PHP: The personal web tools that ended up everywhere

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Facepalm

WordPress claims to run "35 per cent of the web"

And with only 47% of the vulnerabilities too.

Ooo, a mystery bit of script! Seems legit. Let's see what happens when we run it

TeeCee Gold badge

Re: Last time my car stalled...

...a vampire and a thumb drive.

Presumably made of an actual thumb?

OK Windows 10, we get it: You really do not want us to install this unsigned application. But 7 steps borders on ridiculous

TeeCee Gold badge

Bloody sensible it is too!

Anyone who knows what they're doing can work around it, while the shitwits can't install that FREE ATIVIRUZ SCANUR!!

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

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Coat

You do know that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness?

(The second sign is a saxophone solo in the middle 8)

Ever felt down after staring at your phone late in bed? It's not just you – mice do too

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Facepalm

It was probably a bit bloody stupid to swap all the usual red power/standby LEDs for blue ones then.

You know, like world+dog has done over the last few years because "oooo, is new LED colourz ,yes, shiny shiny?" trumps common sense every day.

Not the Wright stuff: Bitcoin 'inventor' loses bid to sue YouTuber who called him a liar

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Coat

Australian-born...citizen of Antigua & Barbuda...lives in Surrey...

Dunno why he doesn't just insist on being paid in Bitcoin to dodge tax.

80-characters-per-line limits should be terminal, says Linux kernel chief Linus Torvalds

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Alert

Re: not the terminal, the punch card

It could be TURNED OFF???!!!???

There's somebody I once knew who, if I ever run into him again, is getting a kicking.

Nostalgia is available here.

SpaceX Crew Dragon docks at International Space Station

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Alert

Even the aircon worked...

...and no inconveniently invisible articulated trucks to avoid en route, so the autopilot worked too,

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Coat

Re: Why the delay?

From experience, the most likely explanation is that despite being expected and on schedule, everyone indoors was asleep and it took three hours to wake the bastards up to open the door.

They can't just drop a "sorry we missed you" card and bugger off like everyone else who finds that they're delivering to inconsiderate idiots.

So you really didn't touch the settings at all, huh? Well, this print-out from my secret backup says otherwise

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As one who used to tour the globe doing that sort of stuff...

...there really is nothing like proving beyond a shadow of doubt to a local boss that his staff are a bunch of lying little shits.

Bonus revenge points for Germany or France as they're culturally only too ready to cast aspersions elsewhere at the drop of a hat. -ve points for Italy as that'd be like kicking kittens for fun.

Software bug in Bombardier airliner made planes turn the wrong way

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Two wrongs may not make a right, but three lefts do.

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Re: "turning left by turning right through 270degrees."

The undoubted Dog's Bollocks of commercial flying.

None of the crews they put in a simulator afterwards, given the same situation, got anywhere near landing the thing so 184 survivors is up there with loaves/fishes and water walking as miracles go.

They actually got it on the floor intact, but couldn't keep it on the runway as they had no rudder control. All the damage was done when it veered off and rolled.

Personally I reckon gear up into the adjacent cornfield was a better bet, but....(!)

TeeCee Gold badge
Facepalm

No, no, the other left.

Embrace and kill? AppGet dev claims Microsoft reeled him in with talk of help and a job – then released remarkably similar package manager

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Hang on...

So there's an open source product.

Someone else takes open source product and modifies it to suit.

They then publish the full source of "their" version.

Isn't that the way it's supposed to work? None of the licenses seem to support the notion that you have to kiss the original author before you fuck them.

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it

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Surely "shrink foil" is the correct product?

Make it into a hat, stick it on your head and it tells you why you'd be idiotic enough to want 5G protection because of your relationship with your mother.

TeeCee Gold badge
Devil

Re: Paris... because...

...and the Devil's Handbag will not suffice because...?

I've got me a stalker! Obsessive downvoter alert!

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Re: I've got me a stalker! Obsessive downvoter alert!

It happens. Piss off the wrong types and everything you've posted on an article that appears on the main pages will aquire a downvote.

Have a riffle back through your recent posts and find the one guaranteed to offend some True Believer In The Faith[1], no matter how accurate it was.

[1] Freetards, Openistas, Fanbois, Nazis/Marxists, etc...

Gone in 9 seconds: Virgin Orbit's maiden rocket flight went perfectly until it didn't

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Meh

...planned its first operational mission in a matter of months.

God forbid that anyone would actually plan for time to fix stuff found in testing and retest, that would just be silly.

I sometimes wonder what Project Managers think testing is for, apart from being that inconvenient obstruction to hitting their deadlines of course.

Boeing brings back the 737 Max but also lays off thousands

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Alert

Re: "more than a dozen initiatives focused on enhancing workplace safety and product quality"

You mean they can decline more than they already have?

Linus Torvalds drops Intel and adopts 32-core AMD Ryzen Threadripper on personal PC

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Happy

The Anandtech review of that CPU is a scream. Opens with some blurb about how odd it is to see a premium priced processor from AMD, then puts it up against Intel's top end i9.

The summary starts with; "I don't like to use the word 'bloodbath', but...", then goes on to rub salt into the wounds by pointing out exactly why you'd be mad to consider the Intel product. Finally closes with a message to Intel that , if they were thinking of cobbling something together and rushing it out to compete, tough shit 'cos AMD have a 64 core one about to ship.

It probably sucks even more for Intel that their most puissant offering got its clock cleaned even when setup in the "please pwn me" mode of Hyperthreading on.....(!)

Twitter ticks off Trump with new 'Get the facts' alert on pair of fact-challenged tweets

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Re: Even a stopped clock is occasionally right. But then, immediately wrong again.

What made Rahman special is that he was continually mentioned in Private Eye over the years.

IIRC he even threatened to sue and got the Arkel v. Pressdram response, which is shorthand for "Feel free, hope you've got deep pockets as we can prove every bloody word.".

TeeCee Gold badge
Facepalm

OI! KETTLE!

You're black.

Signed Pot.

Seriously. Bullshit on Tw@ter is an issue? Why now? Makes more sense to just remember that absolutely everything on Tw@ter is somebody's opinion, no more, no less and thus extraordinarily likely to be opinionated bollocks.

If someone could stop hackers pwning medical systems right now, that would be cool, say Red Cross and friends

TeeCee Gold badge
Facepalm

Slight snag.

I'm pretty sure that those doing this are already breaking quite a few rules and adding more for them to break won't slow them down.

Record-breaking Aussie boffins send 44.2 terabits a second screaming down 75km of fiber from single chip

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Missed a bit.

...dropping to 39.2 Tb/s and 39.0 Tb/s for the lab and field-trial transmission experiments...

...and about 20Mb/s when deployed by Virgin.

To test its security mid-pandemic, GitLab tried phishing its own work-from-home staff. 1 in 5 fell for it

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Facepalm

Well, obviously.

...click rates vary from 7 per cent to 45 per cent, depending on the survey.

Ask people if they would click on an iffy link and presto, a whopping 93% of them say; "Oh no, not me, I'm way too smart to do that.".

Send them an iffy link and there's yer 45%.

Also:

Many moons gone around these parts there was a story on how Mozilla, having sent their user base a prompt to update their Flash plugins, were bemoaning the fact that only 35% of them had bothered to do so. A shade over six months later there was (inevitably, as I saw it) another story on how a coincidental 35% of FF users had been pwned by a fake upgrade.

The software bots are coming, the software bots are coming: Microsoft swallows UK automation minnow while dreaming of low-code apps

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Facepalm

Re: Cough

As far as I am aware, Skype is still with us, still working, still bulletproof and also built into Office / Teams.

Unfortunately, it lacks the UI candy of the ludicrously insecure Zoom so, as Joe Bloggs doesn't give a flying fuck about security but loves shiny and wants its babies, that's where the sheep have gone en masse.

We really doing this again? Rumour has it that Apple is nearly finished developing augmented-reality glasses

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Re: John Prosser?

But they're AR glasses, you have to build AR glasses.

Hey Siri, are you still recording people's conversations despite promising not to do so nine months ago?

TeeCee Gold badge

Hmm.

Any time Siri heard something it couldn't understand...

If that is the only time it saves a recording for analysis then I have to say it's probably right to do it. I can't quite see how Apple (or anyone for that matter) can fix their voice recog failures without the sample that failed.

The key element here is how the user is informed. MS ask up front if they can capture errors/ problems to improve the service, so it's an opt in/out for the user, do Apple do this too?

International space station testing Wi-Fi links with incoming craft, with an eye on autonomous docking

TeeCee Gold badge

Re: Is the robot called Roller?

Are there a lot of things on the ISS that need to be rolled?

Depends how the weed garden in that inflatable podule is doing.

(Because if "smoking weed in zero gee" isn't on your bucket list, it bloody well should be.)

Tech's Volkswagen moment? Trend Micro accused of cheating Microsoft driver QA by detecting test suite

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Happy

Re: Responsible disclosure is a privilege reserved for the mistake not the misdeed

Besides, anyone would be obliged to publicly disclose that lot. It's just way too bloody funny to keep to yourself.

Rust marks five years since its 1.0 release: The long and winding road actually works

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Facepalm

Re: Meh

Which, if most developers actually gave a rat's arse about compiler warnings, might help.

The problem is that "if it compiles, chuck it into testing" is the mantra these days.

Micros~1? ClippyZilla? BSOD Bob? There can be only one winner. Or maybe two

TeeCee Gold badge
Facepalm

Re: 8.3

Gosh, yes.

If only there were some sort of global network where they could connect to all the world's information, with a search interface on it so they could look this sort of thing up.

We should definitely have that.

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