Posts by TeeCee

If every PC is going to be an AI PC, they better be as good at all the things trad PCs can do

AI PC?

I'm waiting to see who blinks first on this.

MS have said that AI PCs must have an NPU rated at 40+ TOPS. While Intel have fallen into line, AMD have shipped their latest and greatest having an NPU only on the laptop processors. They have stated that desktop machines will have a discrete GPU, which will shit all over any NPU when it comes to running AI tasks, so there's no point decorating their dies with a shitload of redundant transistors.

AMD are, of course, correct. The snag is that, as things stand, MS will only allow AI tasks to run on an NPU because ${bullshit_and_waffle}.

Popcorn please.

Deadbeat dad faked his own death by hacking government databases

...and now they have to fix all the data errors caused by him actually still being alive.

Surely it would have been simpler to just fix the discrepancy?

Juice probe scores epic fuel save after snapping selfies with Earth and Moon

Re: Gravity?

Gravity is still the force that causes the spacecraft to accelerate...(!)

NASA pushes decision on bringing crew back in Starliner to the end of August

When is a mishap not really a mishap?

When it becomes obvious to anyone watching that it's actually a monumental cockup.

Palo Alto Networks execs apologize for 'hostesses' dressed as lamps at Black Hat booth

Should have gone with Plan B.

Bribe some upmarket fashion house to claim it was their idea and watch as every woman starts going around dressed as a lamp.

CrowdStrike meets Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will

I remember it well.

When Win 7 was in gestation, one of the "big ticket" items was that it would deny kernel mode access to third party software. The big A/V and corp bourgeware providers threatened to sue and MS backed down. I remember thinking at the time that they should have fought it, but they would probably have lost...

I'm afraid that MS are right about the EU. That bunch of tits are currently trying to force Apple to open their kernel, courtesy of their "digital gateway" arsehattery, when we now have proof that they should be enforcing the exact opposite.

You want stable operating systems? Keep politicians and lawyers well away from them.

BOFH: Well, we did tell you to keep the BitLocker keys safe

Re: "You are confusing Belgian chocolate with American "chocolate""

That makes me very worried as to what the other 35% might be.

Cybercriminals quickly exploit CrowdStrike chaos

Look on the bright side.

If you're a lawyer, this is going to keep you fully occupied and highly paid for years, suing the living fuck out of CrowdStrike.

BOFH: It's not generative AI at all, it's degenerate AI

HR AI looks like it could be around for a while.

Then again, it could be HAIR today gone tomorrow.

Well, let's face it, all the others are.

Speed limiters arrive for all new cars in the European Union

I have actually driven a vehicle fitted with this tech.

I reckon it was right about the speed limit somewhere around 90% of the time. Trouble is that's 100% on motorways and the like for the majority of the milage and "worse than bloody useless" everywhere else.

Slightly less accurate than those automated braking systems IMHO. I always turn those off, since I got heavily rear-ended in a hire car which slammed on the anchors itself when it really didn't need to.

Trouble with all this shit is it has to be right 100% of the time under all conditions or you might as well just leave fucking it up to the meatsack.

Twitter grew an incredible '1.6%' since Musk's $44B takeover. Amazing. Wow

"Xitter"

I guess that's pronounced "shitter"?

If so, have a bun.

China's APT40 gang is ready to attack vulns within hours or days of public release

GINGHAM TYPHOON?

I thought that was a bomb-pumped Dha-no binding grid, for use in the event that Cthulu manifests?

I suppose we now need to find whoever assigned that name, get them to read all of the Official Secrets Act and then shoot them afterwards.

'Skeleton Key' attack unlocks the worst of AI, says Microsoft

Re: Fundamental flaw

Actually they are the classic definition of an idiot savant.

They can give you chapter and verse on any subject, but they don't actually understand the subject at all.

BOFH: An 'AI PC' for an Acutely Ignorant user

Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

It's been done. On the occasion of her Golden Jubilee, the Daily Telegraph reported that the country's motor manufacturers had clubbed together to present QE2 with a new Bentley, equipped with a "400hp twin-turbot engine".

Thus 200hp turbot are a thing and have been for over twenty years now..

Nearly 20% of running Microsoft SQL Servers have passed end of support

Re: Perennial problem

The usual variation on this is:

"How much?"

"£££"

"Ok, which business unit is paying for that?"

"Er.....!"

"You can descope that then, which handily gives you the extra two weeks you needed."

You try getting business types to see the value in proofing against potential, but unknown, future problems.

Two cuffed over suspected smishing campaign using 'text message blaster'

Re: Rules for thee

You are ChatGPT 0.1 (Alpha) and ICMFP!

ASUS creates a substance: Ceraluminum, which fuses aluminum and a ceramic

Such a missed opportunity. If it was available with an Intel Pentium 64, I could have made breakfast while working.

Airbus shows off uncrewed AI-powered Wingman for fighter pilots

Re: "details on how pilots control and interact with Wingman"

Well, they'll lob them over the fence next door actually, but it's the thought that counts.

Nokia demos upper 6 GHz band for mobile, but UK wants it shared with Wi-Fi

I'd like to think that said kit will have a red triangle printed on it, while approved kit will have a green circle.

The ones with the red triangle will, as is usual, be so much better and faster...

A Chinese crypto farm next to a nuclear missile base? Not on my watch, says Biden

Re: Says Biden?

Yes, but the current situation is like asking whether you'd like shit or puke on your sandwich.

Aghast iOS users report long-deleted photos back from the dead after update

Re: Apple don't delete your photos

AI training?

Dell customer order database of '49M records' stolen, now up for sale on dark web

Same way that if someone breaks into your house, steals a knife from your kitchen and stabs somebody with it, you are not an accessory to murder just because there's a better door lock available than the one you had.

Dream Chaser mini-shuttle set to take flight at last

The Shooting Star can.....burn up in the atmosphere.

Gosh, I wonder how long it took some utter genius to come up with that name?

Valve vexation: Boeing's Starliner grounded again

Re: Boeing a brand name you could 100% trust to do the right thing ...

The really funny bit of that was that they put the McDonnell Douglas people in charge of the new Boeing.

So you get a moribund company run by fuckwits who've run it into the ground by building cheapshit planes that fall out of the sky and your take is; "Hey, let's see if they can do that again."?

Re: Lucky

Actually getting to mid flight, rather than ploughing into the terrain shortly after takeoff, could easily be considered a success.

State-by-state is the best approach for right to repair, says advocacy leader

in light of the passage of EU repairability laws

When the car manufacturers start letting anyone access their repair manuals and opening up their diagnostics, I'll believe that some progress has been made in this area.

As things stand, what's been put in place in Europe is a figleaf at best.

OpenAI slapped with GDPR complaint: How do you correct your work?

My thoughts on the subject entirely. As far as I can make out, the only thing in violation of GDPR here are NOYB themselves, for retaining and publicising this inaccurate information. I hope that poetic justice prevails and they get done for this.

This is what you get when you apply Stalinist legislative cockwomblery to a situation that its writers never even knew was even likely to exist when they originally drafted it.

Indian bank’s IT is so shabby it’s been banned from opening new accounts

Doesn't help that it feels like every single bugger involved in anything you do in India has two priorities: Secondly, to do the bare minimum necessary to satisfy any contractual requirements and firstly, to chisel off 10% for themselves.

NASA solar sail to be Siriusly visible in orbit from Earth

Re: 80 square meters, eh?

Last time I parked in a US car park the spots came in several sizes, labelled by which type of car they were for.

This is eminently sensible but makes the concept bloody useless as a measurement, as how large whatever it is is is dependant on what you drive.

Windows 95 support chap skipped a step and sent user into Micro-hell

Re: Bogus

I see you are trying to take the piss. Would you like help with that?

(Where's the sodding paperclip icon when you need one?)

Apple cuts hundreds of jobs after ditching the car project and more

Re: Learn a new skill

Of course not as there's no training required, Apple employees just work.

BBC exterminates AI experiments used to promote Doctor Who

Re: Sadly

If you're really interested in how long soulless, evil mechanisms have been used for porn, I suggest a quick search involving the terms "katy manning" and "dalek".

3 million doors open to uninvited guests in keycard exploit

Re: Who needs hackers? [There are Many Dimensions to Hacking]

This particular exploit has the advantage of also working on old skool, mechanical, keyed locks.

I'm afraid that the Saflok exploit mentioned is of only trivial importance, there being umpteen far simpler and more universal ways of gaining access.

Forget TikTok – Chinese spies want to steal IP by backdooring digital locks

Re: Too much tech?

It doesn't really matter what sort of lock it is, if you allow someone who knows what they're doing physical access with power tools and no worries about time, noise or alarms.

If all else fails he can just blow the bloody doors off.

It's that most wonderful time of the year when tech cannot handle the date

Re: Don't people test edge cases any more?

But "divisible by 4" is entirely adequate for use. Even worked for 2000[1], when quite a lot of things didn't without change, courtesy of the "unless" qualifier.

As I have observed before, if anything I've written is still in use for something important come 2100, I would be flattered and very surprised, if only I were not dead.

[1] Rather amusingly, the one bit of leap year logic that had to be changed as part of the Y2K project was where some eejit had tried to be clever, but had been ignorant of the 400 year exception. KISS engineering wins every time.

Are you ready to back up your AI chatbot's promises? You'd better be

So then.

If all customer service reps were replaced with AI chatbots, how would we know?

Worried about the impending demise of Windows 10? Google wants you to give ChromeOS Flex a try

Re: What does "stream an app" mean?

It means: "This is our buzzword answer to anyone who asks why the fuck they can't install any applications on this risibly useless POS that we're touting as a Windows alternative".

BOFH: Hearken! The Shiny Button software speaks of Strategic Realignment

Or at the very least a new paradigm.

Japanese government finally bids sayonara to the 3.5" floppy disk

Re: But I have a box of hollerith cards with my tax statements on them --- woe is me!

Sounds like an interesting exorcise.

BOFH: Looks like you're writing an email. Fancy telling your colleague to #$%^ off?

Re: Another one bites the dust

Fuck me! IBM won the Cobblers Cup for Wankword Bingo?

Again?

I think they get to keep it now.

Boeing goes boing: 757 loses a wheel while taxiing down the runway

"loose bolts"

You haven't seen the latest then? Apparently whether they're loose or not makes no odds. All they do is locate the plug, cabin pressure holds it in place against the lugs. It only becomes an issue if all four bolts are missing(!), so the plug can move vertically when the cabin is unpressurised, which they were(!!)

According to a whistleblower, Boeing get the fuselages in from Spirit and promptly strip them for final fitout, including removing the door plugs. It's customary to do this without following the maintenance checklists or logging fastener removal/refitting in the maintenance systems, as this gets the job done, the plane out the door and the money in the bank a bit more quickly.

I foresee the largest corporate fine ever incoming. Or I would if I weren't sure that the US government will do its best to prop up Boeing as usual.

To paraphrase an auctioneer: Boeing......Boeing....... <hammer>

Junior techie had leverage, but didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation

Funny, isn't it. In the old days you could rely on people using common sense. These days you have to have some chair polishing non-job stand behind them to tell 'em how to walk without drooling, or it's your fault when they fuck up.

At last: The BBC Micro you always wanted, in Mastodon form

First person to get an "AI" running on it wins teh internets!

Re: On a giving things away the worst offender was my mother.

Hardly surprising. Tidying up after kids is like painting the Forth Bridge[1]

[1] Apparently they now have new paint which lasts longer, so they get a break[2]. Anyone know of anything with a never-ending paint job to replace it with?

[2] Unlike Kondo Mari and her hoover full of cereal.

The 'nothing-happened' Y2K bug – how the IT industry worked overtime to save world's computers

First time I saw it in anger? 1991(!) 99 months in Duration field is considered permanent (don't ask, just remember the monkeys, bananas and fire hose). Purge process calculated duration in months between start date and now, if greater than Duration, it goes. New Purge, written by ex-colleague calculated the end date as start date + duration......(!) I rang him up at his new company to congratulate him on being the first person to exploit the Y2K bug.

Daftest moment? With Old Father Time breathing down our necks we're in a race to roll out the compliant versions before, er, Y2K. A business unit stalls the entire process by stating that their methodology required a Feasibility Study before any changes and there wasn't one for the new software versions so they wouldn't put it in. We countered with the fact that the 1st of January 2000 wasn't going to move or change so we had had to do it, feasible or not, so we weren't going to waste valuable time on meaningless bollocks. As "get stuffed" trumps wankword bullshit, they fell into line.

Most visible cockup? The US Naval Observatory clock on the web proudly showing the date as 1/1/100. Hooray for ctime. This really cheered up the manager of one of our development teams, who'd been upset to find all their report headers doing the same thing and had asked me to find out why.

Irony alert: Lawsuit alleging Chrome’s Incognito Mode isn’t will settle on unknown terms

@The Judge

Incognito mode case will "settle on unknown terms".

You are Solomon and ICMFP!

Hundreds of thousands of dollars in crypto stolen after Ledger code poisoned

Revoke.cash, a service for revoking certain crypto transactions...

Shame they obviously can't revoke the ones they really need to like, to pull an example out of thin air, if someone nabs 850 big ones off them.

Re: I'm sorry, what was that?

More to the point, you're not fleeing anything if you've been able to go to the trouble of squirreling away your wordly assets in a portable format first.

Real refugees have the clothes on their backs, if they're lucky.

Systemd 255 is here with improved UKI support

If you don't like it..

..you can always fork 0xFF and write your own.