* Posts by Julian Taylor

110 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2007


Applelutely fappulous: Fashionistas bow down before the JESUS PHONE

Julian Taylor

Re: You are all wrong !

My thoughts exactly and I am of the hated faction that Jasper calls a fanboi. If anyone thinks I am going to trash a perfectly good Omega watch in favour of something that looks like a designer hospital band then sod that.

Video: Dyson unveils robotic tank that hoovers while you're out

Julian Taylor

Re: Dyson deleted my comments

Christ, do they still allow Geocities templates to be to used?

Julian Taylor

The Microsoft Vacuum ...

They used to say that the only product Microsoft made that didn't suck was a vacuum cleaner. Let us hope that Dyson is not using Windows Mobile 8.1 to power his robot...

NUDE SELFIE CLOUD PERV menace: Apple 2FA? Sweet FA, more like

Julian Taylor

Re: Ah but they didn't used Password

But do you actually think they didn't know that? 99 times out of 100 those photos have been created by studio/agent publicity and the 'leak' has been arranged.

Don't buy that phone! It ATTRACTS CRIMINALS, UK.gov will tell people

Julian Taylor

Mobile Phone Theft Ratio

Knowing how the state works it is probably not an index per se. More likely to be an apathy index of how likely the cops are to deal with your reporting that you,

1) Lost your mobile

(response: can't help - try your operator)

2) Had it ... err .. stolen

(response: can't help - try your operator)

3) REALLY, truly had it stolen

(response: can't help - try your operator)

4) Someone hit me in the face with a baseball bat, raped my budgie and stole my iPhone

(response: can't help - call 999 for an ambulance then call your operator and would you like the RSPB emergency budgie counselling line?)

Drone captures shots of budding APPLE SPACESHIP HQ

Julian Taylor


Ah, now we can see where all those Surface fondlesofts ended up ...

Apple promises to lift Curse of the Drained iPhone 5 Battery

Julian Taylor
Thumb Up

Thanking you kindly El Reg.

Bought mine in October 2012 and have just been informed by Apple that they will replace it.

Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

Julian Taylor
Thumb Up

Except ..

I would love a really good version of Office on Mac now. I have Mac Office 11 and yes it does the job but it lacks decent sync with iCloud for contacts and calendars ... albeit that is Apple's fault for constantly changing the sync method. I used Surface 2 which I actually quite liked (and that coming from someone who has been using Apple since 1979), unfortunately not enough to buy one as an iPad replacement but more as a lightweight Windows laptop.

UK fuzz want PINCODES on ALL mobile phones

Julian Taylor

Re: hello? hi, hello, is that tech support?

Wasn't 0000 Nokia's standard, or was it 12345? Worked a treat for NoTW reporters I heard.

Julian Taylor

Re: we need the public to become educated in the tools they are using and what can be installed

Well, experience has shown us that you are only safe until the plod start selling the master pincodes to the press

Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy

Julian Taylor

Re: Sorry...

Heavens forbid that Julian Assange should forego any publicity at all. I rather suspect that the whole story is contrived simply to provide him with a vestige of publicity. Shame he couldn't have done that 2 years ago and saved his backers the bail money and the taxpayer the cost of (as I hear Chelsea police refer to it) Operation AssEgo.

It's time for PGP to die, says ... no, not the NSA – a US crypto prof

Julian Taylor

Re: He's right! PGP sucks to use!

Totally agree, but anything is worth it if you don't want RIPA sniffing over your emails.

Microsoft: Just what the world needs – a $25 Nokia dumbphone

Julian Taylor

The perfect cellphone for ... prisoners?

Cheap, plastic with no sharp edges (unlike iPhone) and small enough to smuggle in concealed up a very personal space - the perfect inmate's cellphone.

Well done NokiaSoft.

Julian Taylor

Re: Think of the kids

If I even thought of giving a PoS like this to my kids I'd probably find I had just been reported to Social Services for abuse and neglect soon after they had opened the box. Have no problem with the Bill Gates Fan Club buying whatever they want - just don't expect me to buy the sort of garbage Microsoft are outputting these days.

Julian Taylor

Re: These things still sell?

Shhh. You'll upset the Windows fanclub. Jasper will start writing nasty things about Apple again ...

Microsoft throws old versions of Internet Explorer under the bus

Julian Taylor
IT Angle

Re: Best Browser

Never mind, Modernizr's being doing most of the heavy lifting for MSFT for the past 5 years anyway.

Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay

Julian Taylor

"Both are collected in a cheap looking frame packaged with an equally cheap-looking Apple staff t-shirt."

Sometimes I wonder whatever did Apple do to Jasper? Did his childhood pet puppy/rabbit/kitten get boiled alive by Steve Jobs, or something like that?

Bloodthirsty Apple fanbois TEAR OPEN new Macbook, bare its guts to world+dog

Julian Taylor

You did WHAT?

"...a DVD drive"

Why didn't you add the USB SCSI interface unit as well for your legacy SyQuest drive, or maybe something to play all those old 78rpm records you own?

Don't think I have touched anything so antiquated as a DVD or CD in over 3 years now.

Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs

Julian Taylor

Frikken Ctrl Alt Option Shift Command Fn Key Del Power

I just had a similar situation in France where the electrics went off. An electrician came and sat in the bedroom turning the light switch on and off 40 times until it worked, and then charged me €400 with a gallic shrug to suggest that it can only be fixed by an electrician doing this - mere foreigners doing this just do not understand the subtle play in switching on and off that many times.

This is supposed to be 2014 ... can't Apple/HP/Compaq/Dell etc get up to speed and make a computer with a blasted reset on it? You know, like routers have? Too hard maybe?

Turing biopic with Cumberbatch, Knightley to premiere at London Film Festival

Julian Taylor

Re: Anyone interested should read -

I am sure that everyone who worked there was amply deserving of the accolades that only a few were given but this is not centred upon Enigma, nor Bletchley. It is very much focussed upon Alan Turing, his mathematics and his personal life or, as Hodges puts it, 'to overcome the twentieth-century chasm between scientific thought and human life,'.

Lawyer reviewing terror laws and special powers: Definition of 'terrorism' is too broad

Julian Taylor

Terrorism: criminal or illegal acts of violence at randomly chosen targets, in an effort to raise fear.

Disambiguation: lawyer, tourist [see George W Bush: pronunciation of 'terrorist'],


"I knew he was a terrorist, he's a Muslim/Irish/Cat Lover/Putin Supporter".

"I knew David Cameron was a lawyer from the moment he shook my hand and I saw 2 of my fingers were missing".

See also: ISIS, Putin, Anthony Blair. Arafat, HAMAS, Al Queda

Sit back down, Julian Assange™, you're not going anywhere just yet

Julian Taylor

Re: Cost a government

Very simple, Vienna Convention Article 27. The host country must permit and protect free communication between the diplomats of the mission and their home country. A diplomatic bag must never be opened even on suspicion of abuse. A diplomatic courier must never be arrested or detained.

Make Assange a citizen of Ecuador and give him a package to deliver to Quito - he becomes untouchable.

Microsoft: You NEED bad passwords and should re-use them a lot

Julian Taylor

Re: Disposable passwords for disposable accounts

That does indeed show some responsibility. We do things a little differently now. Very boring since the level of security is rather inhibiting but my own security staff told me that this should be the only way we should operate online:

Tier 1

Signup for free offers, free stuff. one-time registration required for forums etc.

Username: Always use a hotmail address - its spam anyway so it does not matter and, while you can access it (if you must) nobody else is going to worry

Security: minimum 8 character password with capital and numeric - Wibblew0b, for example

Tier 2

Facebook, Twitter other Social Media where personal information will be marketed

Username: own email address or username (NOT a part of email address)

Password: minimum 10 characters combination alphanumeric and non-alphanumeric W1bbl€W0=b, for example

Tier 3

Anything involving credit cards

Username: own email address or username (NOT a part of email address)

Password: Randomly generated 20 characters userlogin password, wrritten down and stored so that I/wife can go in and delete card or personal details if necessary. 1758399%^rtjY80910£$, for example

Tier 4


Not permitted from normal computers. We have an Ubuntu laptop with Firefox which can only access permitted bank/building society URLs. The firewall will reject URL requests which do not originate from that computer.

LG unfurls flexible SEE-THROUGH 18-inch display

Julian Taylor

Re: Does this one Spy on you too?

No, it's totally transparent in that respect.

Today's Facebook fury: Coppertone-like baby pic ban baffles US mom

Julian Taylor

Re: Possibly. It would only take a single wowser...

Umm, you don't have to post it. You already have by mentioning on here.

The dee-dah sound you can hear in the distance is the Rolf Harris Apprehension Society coming for you.

'Oh my god – Mark Zuckerberg wants to meet me'

Julian Taylor

Wait a second (geddit??).

1) Tag already DO make a mobe via ModeLabs and branded by them.

2) Tag's design team is actually British, albeit under Christoph Behling.

3) Tag now uses a number of Seiko parts in its watches

A bit fairer to say "Assembled in Switzerland", rather like the fruity firm has "designed in Cupertino".

Amazon begs Feds for drone test permission slip

Julian Taylor

Oh God, is it 1st April again already?

UK gov rushes through emergency law on data retention

Julian Taylor

Re: Mostly harmless

But only if they can have the logs from your ISP.

'Dread Pirate Roberts' suspect's bid for freedom fails

Julian Taylor

"But the judge said the indictment went further, alleging that Silk Road was "specifically and intentionally designed" to create an "expansive black market" for drugs and malicious software and laundering money."

Good luck with proving that one in court. He just has to deny it and make them prove that from day one he wanted to deal in drugs and malicious software, which I doubt they can.

"She said the allegations, if true, would distinguish Silk Road from websites such as Amazon.com Inc and eBay Inc, which are intended for buyers and sellers to complete transactions lawfully."

Except that like it or not both Amazon and eBay do permit the conduct of illegal transactions, such as fake branded goods or illegally copied software.

Tesla trademark spat threatens Musk's China dream

Julian Taylor
Thumb Up

be my guest ..

Musk opened up all the Tesla Motors patents in June so let this man see if he can build Tesla cars safely and reliably. He might be want to be warned though that Tesla's partner in China is Foxconn. Just thought I should mention that.

Manhattan drone pair cuffed for NYPD chopper near miss

Julian Taylor

Re: For those that think the helicopter pilot is exaggerating

And they have that on the Phantom drones. The GPS has a restrictor on civil aviation designated fly zones - the drone would not take off close to Heathrow, for example, and would only go up to a certain altitude within a radius of the airport. But I bet someone could re-engineer that.

Anyhow, they would probably ban the use of the drones in London anyway. Most aircraft are flying at well under 2,000 feet over London when they start their letdown into Heathrow or City Airport (I think it is a minimum 1000ft safe clearance over the tallest building with 500m side clearance). I am still getting used to seeing people in the Shard looking down on the aircraft as it comes into LCY ...

Julian Taylor

Re: Struck

Forward speed of the police helicopter vs mass (2.8lbs?) of the Phantom 2. Think about what would happen when a large pigeon hit the windscreen of your car if you are travelling at around 120mph.

You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Julian Taylor
IT Angle

And where's the stamp?

"My email did not send, can you come over and see why not?"

"Is your computer switched on?"

"Yes, of course it is, don't be facetious."

"Can you connect to the internet?"

"Yes, its just the email is not sending."

"Have you tried shutting down your email programme and re-opening it?"

"Yes, still no joy."

"Err, did you actually click the 'send mail' button?"

"Ah, you didn't say I have to so that. One other quick question - do I have to pay postage on emails?"

< sound of phone being put down>

Office, IE and Windows in line for critical fixes from Redmond

Julian Taylor

Re: After all this time ...

Well most Linux distros are free of charge so users can't really complain. But tell me, how long has Windows been around and has it ever been free of anything excepting credibility?

Please do use small words .. I'm a Mint user so I don't really understand long phrases like "have you tried restarting your computer?".

Apple Fanbois are the biggest pervs, say people who know

Julian Taylor

Re: I Doubt It

Its just that it is so hard to concentrate on the 'subject at hand', so to speak, while at the same time Norton is screaming "do you want to update your antivirus definitions?", Windows is telling you to run Windows Update and IE is telling you that it thinks it has found a porn site.

Come with me if you want a lid: Apple bags Terminator-esque LiquidMetal mobe patent

Julian Taylor

Re: Windows Framed!

That is just ASKING for a fanboi response, perhaps along the lines of "Microsoft have always had a soft, useless pliable substance for holding in Windows ... Steve Ballmer".

Space station astronauts pop outside to replace crippled computer

Julian Taylor

In this day and age, surely they could make a computer a bit smaller than 'microwave' size especially since there are almost 50 of them? Couldn't someone come up with a simple array - hell even a 2u rack would be smaller than that ...

Github cofounder resigns after clearance in sex-harass probe

Julian Taylor

I suppose she managed to get Preston-Warner to fork off to another branch.

I'll get my hat.

Ex–Apple CEO John Sculley: Ousting Steve Jobs 'was a mistake'

Julian Taylor

Maybe so, but I think you missed the observation that having got rid of Jobs, Sculley then proceeded to 'do a Ballmer' and just started spending the cash reserves.

I agree that Jobs had to go, his ego had got in the way of his vision and it did take 12 years in the wilderness to cure that. However even with his ego issues, surely Jobs could have done a far better job than Sculley, Spindler and Amelio put together?

Russian deputy PM: 'We are coming to the Moon FOREVER'

Julian Taylor

Re: Could not have timed it better

Back in the good ole days of Soviet Socialist Imperialism they claimed they had established bases on the moon, but it was on the dark side so the Evil Capitalist West could not see it. Perhaps Putin could use those?

Spy-happy Condoleezza Rice joins Dropbox board as privacy adviser

Julian Taylor

Re: Next appointment Dick Cheney

How about Bush joining the board of Adobe? With his immense finger-painting talents he could lead Photoshop in a new direction ...

When big biz is forced to compete: Now Microsoft latest to cut cloud prices

Julian Taylor

""Microsoft will continue to focus on bringing our customers a world-class service with an unrivaled user experience."

Had me going there for a second. Until I saw the drone/Apple piece I thought this might have been the poisson d'avril moment.

Sync'n'share firm Box secretly files for IPO

Julian Taylor

Never once had a problem with Dropbox, but the life of me I just can not get Box to sync properly via their app. A great shame - I am sure it is just as good as Dropbox.

What can Microsoft learn from 'discontinued operations' at Nokia?

Julian Taylor

"The blip isn't as bad as some make out, and in Nokia's devices unit Microsoft acquires an efficient and well-oiled machine that has performed terrifically well over the past 12 months. "

What are you smoking, and is it available in electric cigarette format?

Apple’s Mac turns 30: How Steve Jobs’ baby took its first steps

Julian Taylor

Oh deary, deary me

What, no mention of the iMac?

Rarin' to buy an Ubuntu phone? Maybe not until 2015, Canonical man says

Julian Taylor

Re: as long as the gui isn't burnt orange

If the battery is made by the same people who do the 787 batteries then the whole phone will be burnt orange :)

Clink! Terrorist jailed for refusing to tell police his encryption password

Julian Taylor

Re: Confused

Probably don't want you to know that they *can* crack BitCoin algos now that the NSA have given them lots and lots of their hand-me-downs.

Furtive ebook readers push Hitler's Mein Kampf up the charts

Julian Taylor

Re: Even Worse.

"Dennis Rodman's Pocket Guide to North Korea" perhaps?

Fanbois, prepare to lose your sh*t as BRUSSELS KILLS IPHONE dock

Julian Taylor

Overpriced, late and useless

We can almost guarantee that the design will be completely useless, will cost well over €1 billion to develop, will be delivered 10 years after the deadline and by that time the EU will have forgotten about it. The only people who will remember this will be, as per normal EU fantasies, the poor bloody European taxpayer.

GOV.UK's criminal record check IT job blow: Home Office snubs new design

Julian Taylor


Actually they most certainly do have the 'muscle' as you put it. Some of the guys working at Cabinet are major-league backend devs in Python, PHP and Ruby. GDS' CI system puts just about every commercial company (and I have worked at a lot of them) to shame - take a look at their GitHub structure for a start at https://github.com/alphagov/government-digital-strategy