Posts by Albert Coates

Supermarket sorry after facial recognition alert flags right criminal, wrong customer

Re: Petrol stations/Number Plate Blacklisting

"...under fifty of my car's model on the road in the UK."

So, is it a Saab 99 Turbo, or a Morris Ital?

UK justice system unplugs from ancient datacenters after five-year slog

Re: Are they moving on from stone tablets then?

But beware: the Ancient Sumerians who invented cuneiform (and their successors the Babylonians), used a weird base-60 (sexagesimal) system using individual symbols for 1-9, and compound symbols for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexagesimal#Babylonian_mathematics Digitize that. Actually it's a bit like hex, perhaps you could use v, w, x, y, z (s=sumerian) instead of a-f: so 17h = 3ws = 23.

Bots are taking over the internet and AI users are to blame

Humanity writing its own epitaph

"AI visitors read far more than human visitors; they don't get tired, and they can do far deeper research, while we get bored after looking at the third link."

There you have it: lack of drive, boredom, inability to work out whether any given link is going to provide you with the info you seek, or not. Plain lazy, and that's most people.

Microsoft actually does something useful, adds Sysmon to Windows

The best

I've been using Sysintenals since around 2000. They are beautifully-written single-purpose utils with no frills, which just work. A long time ago I even emailed the developers to say thank you, and they replied swiftly and graciously. 100% recommend. Top marks, many thanks again, 25 years later.

Help! Does anyone on the bus know Linux?

Re: Yes, I know Linux.

"Just using the command line to do things makes them shake their heads and do something else."

The reverse trick is using only the keyboard to control the Windows GUI.

Re: Special AU Bus Borkage

"Ahem, I think you'll find the 173 bus goes to Dagenham."

Wow, that was a genuine whoosh for all those thumbs up: that's an Ozzie taking the piss out of the Lunnun accent, innit? If he had to g**gle it, he must have seen how it's spelled, shirley?

BOFH: Eight pints of a lager and a management breakthrough

Re: Verschlimmbessern

Yes, a great language, many words need an entire phrase to translate into English: but conversely a large number of words have multiple meanings.

"There are three-quarters of a column of SCHLAGS in the dictonary, and a column and a half of ZUGS. The word SCHLAG means Blow, Stroke, Dash, Hit, Shock, Clap, Slap, Time, Bar, Coin, Stamp, Kind, Sort, Manner, Way, Apoplexy, Wood-cutting, Enclosure, Field, Forest-clearing. This is its simple and EXACT meaning--that is to say, its restricted, its fettered meaning; but there are ways by which you can set it free, so that it can soar away, as on the wings of the morning, and never be at rest. You can hang any word you please to its tail, and make it mean anything you want to. You can begin with SCHLAG-ADER, which means artery, and you can hang on the whole dictionary, word by word, clear through the alphabet to SCHLAG-WASSER, which means bilge-water--and including SCHLAG-MUTTER, which means mother-in-law."

From Mark Twain's "The Awful German Language", by an accomplished writer who knew it well. https://faculty.georgetown.edu/jod/texts/twain.german.html

What, *that* Michael Fagan, the bloke who broke into the Queen's bedroom? Bit of a career turn-around, eh?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Fagan

Re: ISO 9000

"CE Marking does not have a direct relationship with the Quality Management Systems (ISO 9001). CE Marking symbolizes that a product has been designed and manufactured in conformity with the New Approach Directives of EU and relevant Harmonised European Standards. It is seen that some modular system Quality Management Systems are stipulated for certain product groups." <ref> https://wqmcertification.com/services/product-certification/ce-marking/ </ref>

Re: Ah yes, 6-Sigma.

Old as the joke about Topics: A bit like squirrel shit - there's a hazelnut in every bite. Did I bring a coat?

Re: Ah yes, 6-Sigma.

ISO 9000 is just an extended mission statement.

Open-source AI is a global security nightmare waiting to happen, say researchers

Re: Beware and Be Aware and Take Care .....

Wish I could give you more thumbs up for "your persistent titanic stupidity", can I nick that one please? ===========>

Sword of Damocles hangs over UK military’s Ajax as minister says back it or scrap it

Re: Get on the phone to Toyota

It's Captain Scarlet, like Captain Black - maybe you're thinking of Scarlett O'Hara? Melody Angel's the one for me.

Techie's one ring brought darkness by shorting a server

Re: No KZZEERT, no activity either

Pored.

China-linked group accused of spying on phones of UK prime ministers' aides – for years

Re: Are we to infer that the UK hasn't the skills

"I mean WTF is going on in Cheltenham ?"

Well, there's the Literature Festival in October, and a number of orchestral concerts/tribute bands in the spacious Town Hall - a couple of decent restaurants where you don't always need to book ahead, shopping in the Prom, the Races in March, the Magistrate's Court for free entertainment, Cineworld for expensive popcorn, the Bus Station if you need to go to Up Hatherley, the Cotswold Designer Outlet by the M5 featuring Dobbie's Garden Centre - what more could you possibly want?

AI hasn't delivered the profits it was hyped for, says Deloitte

There's always cuneiform which goes back to at least 2,500 BC, but the Ancient Sumerians used a sort of base-60 (Sexagesimal) for calculating (1-9, plus signs for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50) which adds a layer or two of difficulty...

German cops add Black Basta boss to EU most-wanted list

They've fingered the wrong guy

That's obviously a slightly AI-enhanced pic of Mark Zuckerberg.

Sam Altman is willing to pay somebody $555,000 a year to keep ChatGPT in line

Re: How about improving what we have already first?

Do they not own an A-Z? Or better still, an old Nicholson's, which showed the one-way streets, along with much smaller map squares, which made location a doddle. Further confirmation that most people can't read a map, let alone carry one in their head. <Ex-London despatch rider>

Trump gives state AI regulation the presidential middle finger

It's lackeys, actually. <Cue multiple downvotes from other people who can't spell either>

Vibe coding: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing (Sorry, Linus)

But the roulette wheel is rigged, and LLMs are the hidden magnet.

Re: different results over time for exactly the same prompts

Not waving, but drowning? (Stevie Smith, for the non-poetry lovers)

Eleven years after Lenovo acquired IBM’s x86 server biz, profits are still elusive

Re: Lenovo makes servers?

I used to be a qualified instructor for the original generation of IBM PC servers, eg Server 310, Server 500, Server 750 etc. They were very modular: MCA bus with add-in Pentium processor riser cards (up to 6 on the 750), LAN card etc. The 320 mobo also had two PCI slots for MCA-haters. Plus hot-swap hard drives (die-hard Big Blue fans called them DASD (Direct Access Storage Device) on a backplane. Up to 8 x 32 MB SIMMs, (yep, 32 MB, still available for $150.) The 500 box could also be configured with a System/390 processor. No screwdriver needed for normal servicing - blue plastic clips everywhere. But no hot-swap power supply. Somehow slightly cheap-looking compared to eg a PS2 Model 80. Woe betide if you didn't have the right Reference Diskette.

! also taught Netware 3.12 on Compaq PC servers (eg SystemPro with 2 x i486's and 8 x IDE hot-plug HDDs on a custom RAID card) with EISA bus which were infinitely better. Still got one in the garage. On the later models you could even hot-swap individual cards by turning off the power to any slot. Compaq had a excellent relationship with their customers and service agents. Beautifully-produced service manuals. Totally honest admission of every fault in a Service Advisory, up to and including free replacement of parts that hadn't failed yet. Such a pity they got swallowed in a thoroughly ill-advised takeover with Hewlett-Packard for $25 billion. RIP.

Links: https://www.ardent-tool.com/systems/pc_servers.html

https://www.computermuseum.org.uk/ (click List by make)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compaq_SystemPro

https://www.zdnet.com/article/worst-tech-mergers-and-acquisitions-hp-and-compaq/

AI music has finally beaten hat-act humans, but sounds nothing like victory

Re: "LLMs are nothing if not parody generators."

If you find yourself dissatisfied with Charlie Stross, there's always Christopher Brookmyre, whose fast-paced and often hilarious novels have often that heightened sense of hyper-reality which sci-fi authors attempt to convey - but remember, Philip K. Dick always got there first. Don't forget Peter F. Hamilton, who only has a Scottish name.

Best AI sci-fi novel, IMO: Excession, by Ian M. Banks.

PS Take notes while reading, unless you can work out and remember who is messaging who...

Re: Pop Will Eat Itself

Bow down before our lord PDQ Bach, and praise him, ye heathen* - without doubt the very best and most hilariously talented of his ilk.

* BWV 230 - Lobet den Herrn, alle Heiden

Re: Pop Will Eat Itself

Damn, you beat me to it.

Re: "LLMs are nothing if not parody generators."

Model Autophagy Disease = Pop Will Eat Itself

Researchers find hole in AI guardrails by using strings like =coffee

Alternative string

Yah, but would =covfeve work?

Help desk boss fell for ‘Internet Cleaning Day’ prank - then swore he got the joke

Re: A good idea though ...

But did Hercules re-route the Alpheus before or after it carried off Arethusa from her couch of snows in the Acroceraunian mountains?

Major AWS outage across US-East region breaks half the internet

Re: Who knew that putting all your eggs...

" Italian Dwarf Pizza"

There are those who prefer Glocks, and those who prefer Walthers or Sig Sauers, but I put my trust in my 9 mm Grissini.

Re: HMRC taken down

"The real issue is that reliability and the removal of SPOFs etc. is expensive...."

Aargh, my brain automagically substitutes BOFH each time I see it. I hereby curse you to Heck*, El Reg.

* © Phil, Prince of Insufficient Darkness.

Brits warned as illegal robo-callers with offshored call centers fined half a million

Top tip

Keep a referee's whistle by the phone. (Duke) Nuke'em.

Techie fooled a panicked daemon and manipulated time itself to get servers in sync

"Funny you should say that ..."

You may be thinking of Bradshaw's Guide, which preceded Railway Time.

Long case clock

Damn those pesky weights in my gf's time machine, needed winding once a week. Someone would usually fiddle with the little nut underneath the pendulum as well.

Re: My NTP-AD default...

Yeah, the Ossies got a raw deal, eh? (hmm, wrong merger, perhaps...)

Re: My NTP-AD default...

Although I hate doing maths in public, I Bit = 33 cl, daher 32 Bits (bzw 4 Wörte) = 10,56 Maßkrüge,

Alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei.

Re: My NTP-AD default...

They even wake in the middle of the night, muttering moigen, mogen, realise it's 3:09 am, stretch out for that pre-prepared wursty/cheesy snack and fall asleep, knowing it's gonna be full-on Mahlzeit soon enough...

Bitte, ein Bit*... -->

* You heathen, you mutter, grabbing a cold Paulaner for comfort

Re: My NTP-AD default...

The weird thing about that corner of Germany is that they say moin moin all day long, even in the evening, including the unbayerische Wüste.

The air is hissing out of the overinflated AI balloon

Re: A 'black box' statistical model does have uses, but ...

"LLM introduction of musicality, via Beethoven, into the Beatles genre, plus the trained voice of Peter Pears."

Blimey, can't imagine anything more excruciating, except perhaps Vivaldi merged into the Death Metal genre, plus the stunning voice of Florence Foster Jenkins.

Intel pitches Clearwater Forest as a consolidation play for all you hoarding ancient Xeons

Hoarding ancient Xeons

I've go a coupla Pentium Pros with 1MB L2 cache, any good to you?

Hint: Reach out to me in 20 years' time, you'll be well placed to catch the latest retro craze...

One long sentence is all it takes to make LLMs misbehave

Re: Proust got there first

Mais, mon petit bon bougre, M. Proust a écrit en français, et votre traduction tout à fait insignifiant ne sert qu'a point.

Je vous prie d'accepter, mon cher rafff, l'expression de mes sincères salutations.

Cordialement,

LLM

Scholars sneaking phrases into papers to fool AI reviewers

"Easily passed of as an experiment."

You call yourself "Doctor Syntax" but you get (so far) 19 upvotes for an egregious spelling error.

You are obviously an AI pretending to be a human pretending to be an AI, and there is no hope for humanity.

Techie went home rather than fix mistake that caused a massive meltdown

Re: Honestly I'm bilingual

Nevil Shute was very aware of various non-conventional forms of higher intelligence - see 'The Chequer Board., 'Round the Bend', 'In the Wet'. Best story-teller ever.

The AIpocalypse is here for websites as search referrals plunge

Re: This AI problem is already (at least) stage 2 of enshittification...

"When AOL was king!"

RIP AOL TimeWarner (not)*

*Bwahaha, Compaq/HP merger ring any bells?

Re: Skip "AI" results in firefox

"I don't do much browsing on my phone."

More like swipe right, then

Re: Skip "AI" results in firefox

You consistently spell "principle" as "principal." Your final sentence reads in part: "This result has generated by AI", and yet you get 13 upvotes. Can none of your fans spell or even recognise a load of patent bollocks? Are *you* a bot?

User unboxed a PC so badly it 'broke' and only a nail file could fix it

Re: In denial

They're called bifocals, mate.

To avoid disaster-recovery disasters, learn from Reg readers' experiences

Re: 'reviewed ... by hand'?

Brizzle to Shit City in 2 hours? Just about doable, it's only 120 miles. It's relatively unlikely that many people have driven down the M4 at around 145 mph in a well-sorted Renault 16-valve Chamade at 3 am, but I did once. It was fairly scary, the front end was feeling pretty light, like threatening to do a Donald Campbell in Bluebird. Just saying.

The Doom-in-a-PDF dev is back – this time with Linux

Re: Coolness aside

Depends if it's Netware 3.12 running on a Compaq SystemPro XL - blimey, used to get paid to do that...

Panic at the Cisco tech, thanks to ancient IOS syntax helper that outsmarted itself

OhForF' said:

"Even with your improved UI design it should not move at all..."

Eppur, si muove (@Galileo)