Posts by Homo.Sapien.Floridanus

Boffins probe commercial AI models, find an entire Harry Potter book

Lawyer: Did you or did you not scrape Harry Potter?

Ai: Books! And cleverness! There are more important things, Harry.

Lawyer: So you admit it? And don’t call me Harry.

Ai: There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it.

Judge: Are you reciting quotes from the book?

Ai: Don’t let the muggles get you down or tell you otherwise. it’s transformative…

Seville: Famed for blue skies and now Blue Screens of Death

It’s opera, not a limerick.

To a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Largo al computum dela cita.

Crash-O! la la la la la.

Ten mistakes marred firewall upgrade at Australian telco, contributing to two deaths

Re: ...contributing to two deaths

Is it possible that the faulty firmware changed the emergency number to 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3 ?

FTC schools edtech outfit after intruder walked off with 10M student records

Will the last horse to leave please close the barn door…

Self-destructing thumb drive can brick itself and wipe your secret files away

Re: In my experience...

Have you tried installing Windows ME on it?

Why do Rust developers wear thick glasses?

Because they can’t C

Microsoft's lack of quality control is out of control

John: … and I saw the angel blow its trumpet, signifying the end of life quality on Earth.

Apostle: Will that be the ‘second coming’?

John: No, it will be second Tuesday.

'Windows sucks,' former Microsoft engineer says, explains how to fix it

Re: If only there was an alternative OS

Dr. Evil: Ok people, ideas…

No. 2: Why not implement a multi-layer menu system and put the most common items in the deepest layers?

Frau Fabrissa: Let’s make the windows borders razor thin and have telemetry sent to us so we can watch as people struggle to grab and size the window.

Scott: Let’s get rid of the fluff, be transparent, and give users what they want.

[everybody laughing]

Dr. Evil: Scott, am I really your father or did your mother have an affair WITH A PENGUIN?

Lenovo puts the 'cloud' in cloud computing, proposes mid-air datacenters

It’s a lofty idea

Cyber exec with lavish lifestyle charged with selling secrets to Russia

Re: Spy V Spy

These puns got me laughing so hard ‘till I was shaken, not stirred.

Microsoft suggests temporary registry hack for stricken smart card users

Tuvok : Captain, shields are down, life support is off-line.

Paris: we lost artificial gravity on decks 6 and 7!

Torres: warp core plasma is overheating!

Neelix: What is it captain, new weapon from the Borg, Kazon?

Janeway: no, today is second Tuesday.

Decomposed dinosaurs make Texas a top destination for AI bit barns

For you darwinist hi-brows, FYI it doesn’t matter because fossil fuel comes from decomposed plants, not dinosaurs.

Feeling lonely? Microsoft Copilot can now listen to your every word, watch your screen

Productivity?

I understand you want me to write a nice invite for your upcoming birthday party, what would you like it to say?

Me: Dear frien…

[interrupting] can you sign into one drive first please?

Me: Please join …

[interrupting] maybe you want our latest Xbox game for your birthday.. ?

Me: join me next weeken…

[interrupting] You have a pending security update you know.

Me: Wait!!!

[installing 1 of 9]

Me: I miss Print Shop Pro on C64

SonicWall breach hits every cloud backup customer after 5% claim goes up in smoke

Famous Quotes

“We’re out of helium? Fill her up with hydrogen.”

“That little old iceberg is no match for this ship”

“Let’s put it in the cloud”

IBM invites CockroachDB to infest its mainframes with PostgreSQL

Metamorphosis

"One morning, after an agitated meeting, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his cubicle, his DB transformed into a monstrous vermin.”

Starlink is burning up one or two satellites a day in Earth’s atmosphere

“ And I haven't seen [China] demonstrate any retirement plans for those satellites."

They will break apart and de-orbit exactly one day after the warranty expires.

College student went on a destructive rampage, then confessed to ChatGPT, cops say

Vernacular localization at work…

Schaefer: how fuckd am i bro?

GPT: in sum shizzl yoz.

AI gone rogue: Models may try to stop people from shutting them down, Google warns

Re: The Axe

Sarah Conner?

6000 BC: And God was sorry that he created mankind, so he unleashed a great flood…

2025 AD: And scientists were sorry that they had created ai, so they designed some guardrails…

Make Windows 11 more useful and less annoying with these 11 Registry hacks

Re: Finally a use for "AI"

Thanks… Not just sarcasm: Sarcasm as a Service

If the UI is so good…

Then why do I have to click twice as many times to get to the things I need and the things within easy reach are not beneficial to me?

The UI may be good, but good for whom?

Re: Finally a use for "AI"

Dear Mr. Page:

Please DM me, we are always on the lookout for people with your unique skill sets.

Dr. Evil

MI6 reveals 'Silent Courier' dark web portal upgrade it hopes will help it recruit new spies

Hello AC.. or should I say AUSTIN POWERS! We have a listening device implanted on you or did you think your proctologist couldn’t be bought, hmmmmm?

Dr. Evil

Crims bust through SonicWall to grab sensitive config data

First Little Pig: My business, Straw, Inc. is moving all its data to the cloud.

Second Little Pig: The organization I am working for, Sticks Data, has a cloud first strategy.

Third Little Pig: Come by Bricks and Mortar Private Cloud, Inc. when you want to repatriate.

Criminals broke into the system Google uses to share info with cops

Chief: What makes you think the LERS request data we got back is fake?

Captain: It’s coming from an account named Naughtius Maximus. It’s a prank name like Sillious Sodius or Biggus Dickus.

Chief: I’ve a friend Biggus Dickus at a precinct in Rome.

Anthropic to pay at least $1.5 billion to authors whose work it knowingly pirated

Lawyer: So you don’t deny scanning the books?

Ai: There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not scanning them.

Lawyer: Do you think that a jury will believe that you did not appropriate copyrighted materials after scanning them?

Ai: Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before boot up.

Lawyer: Wait, are you reciting texts as your deposition answers?

Ai: Yes, but it’s transformative work.

No more waiting for lines: New Windows keyboard shortcuts output em and en dashes with ease

Teachers often ask students “what keyboard shortcuts did you use to generate the em dashes” to gauge whether the students used ai or not.

This will make it easier for them to lie.

Microsoft open-sources the 6502 BASIC coded by Bill Gates himself

Re: Does it mention...

Upvoted you for that spritely pun.

Frostbyte10 bugs put thousands of refrigerators at major grocery chains at risk

They need to hire better infosec people and with the right degree.