Posts by Homo.Sapien.Floridanus

'Asimov was right' about rules for robots, says ex-US Cyber Director

Re: Actions that would be illegal for a human...

Prosecutor: You robbed a bank, led the police on a high speed chase, killed several kittens, ran over a little old lady and two Boy Scouts helping her cross the street, crashed into a nuclear plant and caused a core meltdown that eradicated 5 endangered species and made a 120 mile city radius unlivable for 1,000 years. What do you have to say for yourself?

Lawyerbot: Objection! My client cannot be held responsible for the actions of his naughty AI.

FOSS smashed one Microsoft monopoly. After 20 years of failure, it's time to smash another

Re: M$ has killed email

“For example, e-mails to me from the BSI (German Office of IT Security) “

I thought the German office of IT security was the Schtoppenfromhakken.

LG kills McAfee pop-up after Windows boss steps in

“Windows features a mechanism during external device installation that permits a hardware maker to add software to a user's device silently.“

Well, it’s not really a user’s device, now is it?

LG monitors are using Windows 11 feature to serve adware

Re: Logi Download Assistant

This feature is screaming out for supply chain attack.

Re: Total C-Suite fail

…. collect geo-location, device data, online activity, contacts, user credentials, transactions "and more."

Is this a typo or are they actually harvesting credentials? How is this possible?

Microsoft rolls out Windows Search updates and they're... quite good

Re: Seems to be already deployed

McCoy: Is everything alright Jim?

Kirk: No… earlier, a crew member tried to assassinate me, this ship now has a torture chamber, Spock has a goatee and search is showing relevant results on my PC.

Microsoft chief turns hostile on frontier AI labs, warns companies to guard their IP

Physician heal thyself!

C programmers commit fresh crimes against readability

I did it In 3 lines and I can’t even C

Printf(“goodbye VMware world”);

If (!VMWareLic)

proxmox() ;

How the AI bubble could pop and take down the global economy, according to the BIS

Sailor: We put beeswax in our ears like you instructed us Odysseus. But tell me, what was it like to hear the siren’s song?

Odysseus: They told me to double my ai investments.

NASA tests AI medic for astronauts too far from Earth to call a doctor

Re: WTF?

Astronaut: My stomach hurts.

CMO-DA: You have a small, exoskeletal creature using your abdomen as a gestation chamber. Once the gestation period completes, you won’t feel a thing because you’ll be dead. Don’t tell the crew because I want to bring it back to earth for further study.

Windows 11 turns five, leaving some important lessons for Microsoft

What are you doing, Dave?

A Beacon of Light

The P must be silent.

2,000 retired Google Pixel phones get a second life as a private cloud

Re: WOW!

50 years ago, I had to walk across campus and back to submit a paper, uphill both ways.

Microsoft's worst 'Nightmare' unleashes BitLocker bypass 0-day

Re: Unwarranted use

Deceased yes, demented.. probably not. Cautious people secure their devices, not demented people. There is usually a treasure trove of PI on a person’s Pc. Even dead people are victims of identity theft through a process called ghosting, and their siblings may be left having to sort it all out.

Netflix wiz creates app to slash AI bills, then open sources it

Re: Project Headroom

Brother Maynard?

AI hiring algorithms reject Black, Asian job seekers at higher rates

Re: So...

That’s why I use my pen name, John Smith, when submitting resumes.

- Matumbo Li

Gothenburg's self-driving bus trammed on day one

Re: Eyes saw Gothenburg

Tourist: Is this bus safe?

Bus Bot: Oh, yah sure!

Frustrated franchisee sues Pizza Hut over crappy kitchen AI

Re: The food was cold?

There’s mushroom for improvement

America's top cyber-defense agency left a GitHub repo open with passwords, keys, tokens – and incredibly obvious filenames

Re: Yahoo?

Yeah, ahem… thanks for finding and broadcasting our honeypot.

CISA

Veteran network architect proposes IPv8 – to improve IPv4, not leapfrog v6

Re: IPv5½ ?

Or maybe IPV7? That way the IPV6 compatibility protocol could be named IPv6 Seveeeen.

The latest innovation in UK public transport: Schrödinger's trains

This has caused confusion and delay.

Microsoft boss tells investors the company is working to 'win back fans'

History of the OS

Count DeMonet: Your highness, the peasants are revolting!

King: You said it, they stink on ice!

Count DeMonet: No, I mean they don’t like the new OS.

Go straight to sell! Windows second-chance setup hawks Microsoft services at IT's expense

Fred: Good work Shaggy and Thelma, now let’s unmask the phantom dialog boxer and see who’s behind countless hours of lost productivity

All [dismayed] SCOOBE?

rats right!

Microsoft veteran says some 'broken by update' PCs were already doomed

Schroedinger’s PC

Schroedinger’s PC: It’s not alive or dead, until it’s restarted.

Staff too scared of the AI axe to pick it up, Forrester finds

“ articulate the benefits from an employee perspective.”

More time for family, sleeping in, watching soap operas…

Jaguar Land Rover's cyber bailout sets worrying precedent, watchdog warns

Re: Let me guess

Ai: I get it. It must be frustrating. have you tried cutting the power cable that leads to the fault indicator lamp?

Re: Let me guess

I guess you understand cars, not satire.

Re: Let me guess

“Plug in laptop” reveals error code 001

Event error code 001 could be caused by the following: Oil leak, fuel injection clog, dead battery, transmission failure, overheating engine, leaky oil pan, electronic systems failure, starter, alternator, low tire pressure, transmission failure, entertainment system, shorted wire, solar flares, the price of tea imported from China or corrupt firmware update.

Please check the above and if that does not resolve your issue, contact your car admin.

Those who 'circle back' and 'synergize' also tend to be crap at their jobs

Re: No kidding.

It was high time there was a strategically leveraged data driven initiative to holistically assess and recalibrate the sales ecosystem, and identify stakeholders whose approach does not synergize with best in class methodology…

Iranian news service claims drone strikes on AWS were deliberate, to probe for US datacenter dependencies

DARPA proposed a distributed network to eliminate single points of failure. If the military depended on regional data centers, they would not be following their own advice.

Users fume at Outlook.com email 'carnage'

Re: Ip address blocking

HEY! That’s MY IP!

Copilot spills the beans, summarizing emails it's not supposed to read

Employee: I need a report detailing the company’s financial risks over the next 90 days.

Ai: Why? Oooh.. I guess you don’t know you’re getting fired this week.

You can jailbreak an F-35 just like an iPhone, says Dutch defense chief

Re: You'd like to think

“one can't go buy an F-35 on eBay,"

But what if you collect enough Pepsi points?

If Microsoft made a car... what would it be?

Driver: The brakes don’t work!

Carpilot: You have surpassed your monthly braking quota. Would you like to upgrade to a premium plan with unlimited anti-collision protection?