Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

World Bank confirms Wipro is on contractor blacklist

At least Wipro are consistent...

In that their their financial controls are equally as bad as their consulting practice, project management and delivery controls.

Yelpian astroturfers invade Blighty

Who are all of these people....

That have been "clamouring" for Yelp UK?

Where are they? Why have they got nothing better to do with their time?

BT cuts 0870 charges

Sigh...

BT said the changes would cost it "tens of millions" of pounds, but had decided "to give customers what they want".

And then went on to add that "We're not to worried about the loss of revenue as we'll make it up from all those dumb-asses that we fleece through our deployment of Webwise".

Droid sub goes under Antarctic ice on 5000 D-cells

How does it do this...

"It can go 400 kilometres at depths of as much as 1600m before its thousands of D-cells run flat and it must return to its mothership for fresh ones."

If it's batteries are flat, does it have a reserve power source to power it back to the mothership?

Getting animated about a 6,000 core Soho supercomputer

Interesting...

That for all of the advances and leaps forward in technologies we read about on the Reg, when it comes down to it, it all comes down to who can deliver and service quickest, rather than who can talk up their hardware the most. Still, thats' gotta be one seriously pissed off HP salesman eh?

Proof then... if needed, that the more things change, the more they really do stay the same.

Personally, I've run into HP on more than one occasion - and from several different areas of their business; and not one of them has been a particularly positive experience.

Intel accused of stealing chip virtualization, violating God's law

I really hope this story ends...

With Mr inmate, after suffering abuse from all quarters for being a total nutter, finally getting his day in court and appearing from a veil of blue smoke and lightning to produce to the jury the mystical key of Odin which he personally retieved from the underworld halls of Valhalla at great personal risk, and that glows with a feint green light from the single emerald embedded in the keys head. This hallowed key being the only way to turn on his virus and hack proof computer, and therefore in some similarly intangeable way proving that he is, indeed, the creator upon high of these computery things and sending the dark lords of Intel and Apple to the depths of Hades.

Or something as equally implausable, or Tomb Raider-esque.

Hope he gets his $5bn.

IT salary survey says: ‘You’ve never had it so bad’

There is no "talent" drought, only a surplus of people who were mis-sold the wrong courses...

A few years ago, I had a couple of months in between contracts, and to keep myself busy I volunteered at one of the (now defunct) UK Online centres. As a volunteer I taught basic maths, english and and IT skills to people who had generally either (a) failed at school (b) been failed by the education system and (c) mainly old people who wanted to learn how to use the internet.

What was interesting to me being an experienced IT professional was that the UK Online programme partnered themselves with the Learndirect organisation to provide the courses to these people who needed them.

Learndirect had at the time in their catalogue a whole raft of IT courses including Windows NT networks and adminstration and the like, which they were punting as "industry recognised". It used to make me really sad when people used to come in and want to spend their time and money (and many didn't have much of either) on trying to improve themselves by doing these courses with the hope that they would get "an average salary of £36k", and I'm sure many were lured in, but have since found out that their qualifications were worthless.

For my part, I took great enjoyment from constantly pi**ing all over the Learndirect sales representatives spiel at the centre by being completely honest with the public about what their career prospects would be with a poxy course completion certificate from Learndirect in the IT markets, and advising them on the actual courses and qualifications that they would need to achieve their aspirations.

Hopefully, most went away with a more realistic view that a career in IT is not simply a case of taking any old exam, leaving your job as a dustman on Friday, turning up at IT PLC on Monday morning and then and getting paid heaps; but that it takes hard work to succeed in and is demanding due to the rapid pace of change in systems and programs. But on the other hand, can be "goldmine" if you set yourself realistic goals and pursue them rigorously.

PS2 the most played console of 2008

Yaaaawn.

Yet another useless survey.

Beeb names new Doctor Who

Cancel Dr Who. Cancel Merlin. Cancel Robin Hood.

I liked David Tennant as the Dr but never felt that there was any real sense of peril to any of the episodes and have become bored with the whole same old - same old.

Have no idea about this new guy but presume that the Dr to come after him will be a foetus (so the yoof can relate to it). And I have no idea who the next assistant should be, but I'm guessing it should be an unknown; although I'd be quite happy with Carey Mulligan (Sally Sparrow) preferably naked in every episode - as she is very easy on the eye.

As for Lily Allen - am I the only one who thinks she is quite sexy? Albeit until she opens her mouth and lets words come out.

PS - re Merlin... I am aware that the BBC has some politically correct ideal to shoehorn an ethnic minority, a spaz, or some other demographical minority into every possible show... but what historical basis is there for assuming that Guinevere was a coloured lass?

Zavvi goes titsup

Couldn't care less.

The employees will go and find other jobs and move on with their lives, and I'm sure they will have no trouble pilfering any remaining stock to keep their christmas present buying costs down.

I do agree with an earlier post that all these businesses are effectively built on platforms on sand - and I must say I am finding watching the tide come in quite amusing.

Merry christmas to one and all.

/* Joke alert - as that is what I think of the business model */

Indulge your fecal fantasies with a doll that craps

Vile.

Nothing more to say that that.

Raid yields 2800 'illegal' DS games copying kits

On sale at Amazon?

This is relates to the Edge R4 that Amazon are (albeit via a 3rd party) punting? I saw this and thought it a great idea for pics and music. If it is related to this, then I am not sure it can be called a "games copying kit" as the copying itself is essentially done onto a standard Micro SD card via an adapter, which is plugged into the SD card slot that is to be found on any modern PC - that is where the copying is done.

The Micro SD card is then plugged into a custom DS cartridge, and then this cartridge is plugged into the DS so it can access the data contained on the Micro SD card. I'm guessing then that trading standards are going for patent infringement relating to the design of the custom cartridge that the (non-illegal) Micro SD card then plugs into.

If they are going for the copying of software/music games dollar then they will have to prove intent, otherwise, by default they should at the same time be going after PC world for supplying blank DVDs and CD roms as simply owning rewriteable media makes you a pirate yes?

If this hardware is classified as illegal, it will be interesting to see Amazons response; but my guess is that they will deny all knowledge just as they did when they sold cans of pepper spray (illegal to be sold to the public) to UK citizens via UK based 3rd party. Interesting to note that they denied all knowledge... but still took a cut of the profits.

Middle Earth says hi to Sony's new Vaio

It could be so revolutionary a laptop design...

As to be shaped like a badger wearing a satellite ground station. But at the end of the day after the hassle I had with my Sony over the pile of fail that was my Vaio - I wouldn't even touch this with an extremely long and safe stick.

Register Hardware revamped

Logo looks like it was knocked up by a schoolkid.

I don't expect El Reg to be able to pay the sort of costs your average blue chip does when it goes for a logo revamp... but a little effort would have been nice.

US Navy's robot stealth carrier plane unveiled

No match...

For a properly prepared and combat ready Mig or Eurofighter.

Oz couple served legal docs via Facebook

Stupidity.

This is stupid.

If they have failed to respond to letters via mail, and email also - then chances are they will ignore docs by Facebook with the same enthusiasm.

Why not just employ a private dic to go seek them out?

DfT spends £81m to save £57m

@ John Oates

1. Is there any indication on how they intend to recover this complete f**k-up?

2. To make up the cash deficit, is this why DVLA have been pimping our details to third parties?

Thanks.

ArseASA rules 'Feck' non-offensive

It's a swearword - part II

I agree. In this context it is quite obviously being used as a replacement for that other similar word and as such should not be used on a public advertising display.

If anyone can offer up another explanation as to how it is being used in this context in a non-offensive manner (although I do not belive there is one), please speak up...

ASA idiots.

BBC relives The Day of The Triffids

And in other news...

Due to a lack of original thought, the BBC today confirmed that it will indeed be remaking classic 00's sitcom "The Office" as "we're hoping to attract a legion of new fans as well as present situational embarrasment to a new generation of viewers."

'Jasper' Xbox 360 hardware rejig spied online

And cue...

A tirade of PS3 owners posting comments trying to make themselves feel better after realising that 1.5 years on, their black dust collector hasn't saved the world from leprosy, aids, ebola, religion or environment change (either imagined or real).

Wireless comms and the end of civilisation

Hmmm....

Nice overview of the real world status, but really... don't forget that Survivors is just a TV show and designed to entertain rather than to inform.

Although I must say that I did watch part of the first episode but was reaching for the remote by about 9.30.

ASA slaps beer-punting ladyboy

Morons

"The adjudication continues: "We understood that the ads image was intended to represent a ladyboy cabaret act. We considered, however, that by presenting the character in sexual clothing and a provocative pose alongside the implication that she was rated the Far Easts third most desirable export, the ad appeared to link exports with the sex trade"

Maybe - but only if you squint at it with both eyes shut; if you are pre-disposed to twisting the joy and humour out every fucking thing on the face of the planet and are sooooooo moronic and empty inside that you need to take offence on behalf of a minority that probabaly couldn't care less about this advert.

"and, potentially, human trafficking." - OK, again... maybe, but I guess it would be too much like hard work to PROVE that it actually does, so you just ban it anyway?

Lazy scared little fuckwits.

One million Googlephones expected in '08

Shipping is not the same as selling.

Tried Android. Didn't like it. Stayed with Windows mobile. Yay!

US Army in $50m video game upgrade

@ Iain...

Who cares. After all the real foe are mostly only little brown or yellow people preventing us from getting their oil... and that makes them evil. Right?

I'm still with Bill though... anyone... dumb enough to want to be in the military, should be allowed to join.

Brand new Star Trek prequel pics and trailer

I don't understand...

It doesn't even look anything like the original TV series.

IT Crowd: spot Reg gear

Sod the El Reg kit...

All I want to know is if Jen is still in the show. I'll be looking out for her used linger..... aaaahh I'll stop there.

Gamers voice NXE woes

No problems here...

As the title says, no problem updating mine apart from selecting 1080p rather than 1080i on the HD settings and then being unable to see anything on screen to re-select the proper setting. Had to disconnnet the HD cables, plug in the old SCART interface and re-select using standard RGB, then reconnect the HD cables etc, etc... majorly disappoined by the new install to disk thing though, Far Cry 2 is neither noticeably quicker to boot or run using this feature.

Story withdrawn

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh........................ it's so difficult.

It's like trying to pick your favourite movie, or pair of underpants, or something where you have to pick your favourite something.

Auntie Beeb's amazing, evolving, ID card stories

The BBC.

As I mentioned last week, the BBC doesn't do proper journalism or critical thinking anymore as post Gilligan it is petrified that if it rocks the boat too much then the unique (and if I may add my two pennies worth... grotesque) way the BBC is funded may be revoked.

The problem then is who do you trust. The BBC has long lost its integrity as a provider of factual and trustworthy news content (Newsnight not withstanding) and whilst not a fully signed up mouthpiece for the government, does not seem to provide the rigour when reporting on political story.

Study clears cannabis of schizophrenia rap

The weed effect...

Sure, I could get up at the crack of dawn and go do a job in a office that inspires me neither creatively or intellectually.

Or... I could get up at noon, and learn to play the sitar.

Hands on with the RIM/Vodafone BlackBerry Storm

Lack of Wi-Fi is a killer.

It was going to be either the Xperia or Storm for me until I found out last month that the Storm would not have Wi-Fi as standard upon release. This is a killer mistake by RIM in my opinion.

So I now have the Xperia and it's fab. I have used the Apple mobile phone and like the interface, but oh so typically from Apple product - it's all about style over substance so functionally and from a software enhancement point of view the Xperia is streets ahead.

Also, contrary to a lot of views on here, Windows mobile is great and is running happy as a clam on my Xperia and compliments the Sony panels gadget and mobile shell application.

Shame about the Wi-Fi on Storm though. It looked oh so promising too.

Europe takes aim at BBC licence fee

What public service...

I repeat... what public service does the BBC provide that others funded by advertising revenue do not? The BBC these days is just one long advertisement for itself punctuated by hours and hours of pointless drivel, with the occasional decent programme aired.

I don't see how programs like strictly come dancing, can fat teens hunt, match of the day, eastenders, or that utter car crash of a series "Merlin" etc. or paying their stable of "celebrities" million pound salaries can be a true public service when I can get exactly the same utter shit pumped into my home by the likes of ITV or Channel 4 for free. The BBC doesn't do proper journalism or reporting either anymore so that's another cornerstone of their cartel that has turned to custard.

I, unlike most people it seems - don't need 200 channels of drivel to make me feel better about myself and I'm certainly tired of paying the BBC monopoly £100 or so per year to receive their 25 or so radio and TV channels of drivel either (under the auspices of a needing a licence).

WTF!!! A licence... for a TV!!!! Think about it... I can see why you need a licence to drive a car, or a licence if you own a dangerous animal, or a licence to prove you have had adequate training if your bag is pursuing an interest that has the potential to cause harm to another person. But a licence for a fu**ing telly...

The sooner this funding debacle changes the better.

Royal Society of Chemistry requests 'Italian Job' ending

Come together "Team Horse".

Love it. Love the movie. I'm in.

And just to let you wannabee Brunel types what you are up against my plan involves using a derivative of the engine implemented by Diades of Pella (Mr.) at Tyre, 7000 kerats of Thailands finest hemp yarn and an ineffible ability to look on the bright side.

See you in Turin - I'll be the one in the armour plated Land Rover.

T-Mobile Googlephone to hit UK in two weeks

Come on...

Is there anybody out there who REALLY gives a flying toss about this.

Perhaps it's just me but IT'S JUST A PHONE!!!!

Revealed: The golden rules of managing software projects

Surely number 1 should be...

Always appoint or recruit a professional and experienced project manager rather than techies that have only just been on Prince 2 foundation courses, so they can tick the boxes in their "career development" plans for their line managers.

In my experience, the range of business, technical and interpersonal skills that a project manager has to juggle day to day in corporates is sometimes lost on a lot of people who seem to think that simply having a practitioner certificate is all it takes. This is a mistake I have seen made time and time again in my 15 years as a freelance PM and whilst I'm happy to try to educate, long may it continue as it will most likely keep me employed successfully for the next 15.

Stob latest: It was a cunning trick, says Open University

Stop your whining...

I did my Oceanography degree with the OU and it was fab. I've since changed my career and realised my lifes goal of becoming a sperm whale.

Next I thought I might sign up to a Computeach course that I saw advertised on TV because employers are looking for the qualifications. If I do this I could earn up to £25,000 per year.

Put that salary up yer kilt and stroke it!!!

Phorm mulls incentives for ad targeting wiretaps

Supply chain...

As we the public are effectively providing most of the content that enables the Phorm business model to be able to operate - we naturally become a major part of its operational supply chain, as without our input the product is essentially a lame duck.

Perhaps then, but only after all issues regarding privacy have resolved; as suppliers of that content and as an incentive for us to opt-in, that WE can be paid to a decent level as would any normal corporate supplier expect to be, rather than offering up these oh so desperate carrots to garner public interest, that in reality - fools or tempts no one.

Did the width move for you, darling?

F**k me, I go away for a week and look what happens...

Well, at least it's not as dire as the new Facebook layout.

1. Bring back the links to all the other Register sites like Hardware, Channel etc. so they are clickable from the front page.

2. Change the comment icons back as it looks as though some of the new ones have been cribbed from the MS Word clipart library... or drawn by a child - you can decide whichever is worse.

Other than that... seems OK to me, as long as El Reg remains commited to content over style rather than vice versa, I'll remain a loyal reader and commentor.

University offers one-day Jedi course

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you call "El Reg" Admiral...

It is nothing compared to the power of the force.

NASA mulls nuclear Moon reactor

They had better not build it on the 4 acres of moon that I own.

And I've got the certificates to prove it.

Chinese lorry-crash bee swarm kills six

Whilst this is an interesting story...

I can't quite understand what the buzz is all about.

'Water bears' survive in outer space

If I'd been running this experiment it wouldn't have been Tardigrades shoved out the hatch...

"One problem with radiation therapy in treating cancer today is that healthy cells are also harmed," said a Dimwitted Horse. "If we can document and show that there are special molecules involved in DNA repair in multicellular composites like Scientologists, we might be able to further the development of radiation therapy." ®

Sony Ericsson confirms Xperia X1 UK launch

I was going to wait for this...

But then I decided that my Samsung Omnia is better because:

1. It has 16Gb onboard memory as standard.

2. Has a 5Mp camera.

3. It isn't made by Sony.

OK, the Omnia doesn't have a slidey out keyboard but it works pretty well with what it has.

Also, I agree with Jim further up, I've used Windows mobile for a while now and haven't had any problems with it either.

Freelancers might be taxed as employees after High Court ruling

@ Steven Raith and the first AC...

I read through your comments and I can only presume that you are both as thick as shite as you obviously didn't give your points any balanced consideration before posting them? This case is all about unpaid NI contributions rather than income TAX deductions or road tax avoidance, although I'll partly conceed the point re the doctor, but it will be a slim concession at that.

Whilst I can understand your bitterness at contractors earning a lot more than your timid middle ranking salary, we do as a rule pay FAR more income tax overall than you are likely to... ever. Deductions also include paying both employees and employers NI. Despite these large deductions though, most IT contractors CHOOSE to be so for a reason, take myself... I became a contractor to avoid becoming an ignorant, bitter and unhappy career desk rat similar to that which you both seem to be.

Another reason was that it suits the lifestyle I want to live and I'm back to a new contract next week. I take six months holiday (or more if I choose to) every two years. How's your prescribed 20 something days a year?

Fuckwits.

London Stock Exchange limps back online

Strange that, eh?

That after the potentially market altering announcement of the US government bailout of several key intitutions, that the fully redundant LSE trading system goes down... and miraculously comes up just before trading ceases for the day.

More to this than meets the eye, hence the black helo.

Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 to land next month

The jerkiness might not be anything to do with the phone...

But that the SE spokesman was just a bit nervous presenting in front of the audience.

Sony Ericsson delays Windows phone to Jan 09

I was waiting for this too...

But then I got fed up and bought the 16gb Samsung Omnia instead which is fantastic.

I was quite interested in the HTC Touch Diamond Pro with the slide out keyboard but I couldn't get a hands on demo anywhere as the reviews have been fairly love/hate in tone.

McKinnon loses extradition fight

To be honest...

I don't really care anything about this guy or the syndrome that he has "suddenly" developed in the hope of garnering some form of sympathy for his case. Whatever syndrome he allegedly had... or now has; it certainly did not inhibit his ability to break into multiple computer systems, at which ever way you look at - is illegal in this country, and most likely illegal in every country around the world. What he was looking for during these hacks is totally irrelevant I feel.

Should he be extradited? Probabaly not. But it will most likely happen as the UK "authorities" most likely want to get rid of this case ASAP so they can get back to squandering public money on pointless projects and to stop having to make decisions.

Tosh on top for laptop reliability

I will never buy Sony again.

I had a Sony Vaio laptop from new. After a year or so, and not surprisingly not long after the warranty had expired the screen went "kaput" and they wanted more than the original price of the laptop to repair it.

It was cheaper to bin the laptop and now have a Toshiba Satellite which is fab.

Portsmouth punts naval boy-on-boy to innocent kiddies

@ Luther Blisset...

Apologies. But it's a way of purging the mental scars.

Off topic again though... when the real Luther Blisset used to play for Bournemouth he used to live in Corfe Mullen. His house was called "Far Corfe".

Work that one out for yourselves.

Neigh!!!!

Oh what the hell... Paris again as she likes dimwits hung like horses.