* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

2151 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

ServiceNow founder Fred Luddy sells $13.2m stake in 'defining enterprise software company of the 21st century'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: Can't blame him(?), it's worse than the 1st bubble.

"The only reason anyone sells stock is because they think the money is better spent elsewhere."

True. I sold a bunch of shares and bought a groovy sailing boat.

Let's go space truckin': 1970s probe Voyager 1 is now 14 billion miles from home

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Re: Yeah, but


You have to know these things when you are the King.

.uk registry operator Nominet responds to renewed criticism – by silencing its critics

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Re: Reason: Covid

Why not just add in Brexit, Trump and Nazi Germany and they can then claim a full house on their bullshit bingo card.

Ancient telly borked broadband for entire Welsh village

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Re: 18 months?

Actually, 18 months seems like an improvement in getting Openreach to take things seriously.

Still, why they didn't do a spectrum scan as part of initial and basic fault diagnosis is anyone's guess.

It's IPO week and one of Wall Street's own is raising the spectre of a stock market crash

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


I can make money both long and short, so if markets, indexes and shares do come down... I'm none too concerned.

Microsoft to charge $200 for 32 GPU cores, sliver of CPU clockspeed, 6GB RAM, 512GB SSD... and a Blu-Ray player

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Re: Can we finally just accept that these are PCs in all but name now?

I'm really sure I get the point of your post, but one way in that this console is not just a small form factor PC is the ability to flop down on the couch and just play, or watch, without the faff of having to think about a keyboard or mouse, or updating an O/S, or drivers, or changing a 1001 pointless settings that are there to satisfy people who would rather fuck about with aesthetic than be concerned with gameplay or story.

Not that I'd have an XBOX. I'm in the PS camp. Bring on the 5!!!!

UK electricity and gas regulator Ofgem puts up £30m 'to respond to urgent requests to complete projects'

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Re: So now wo know (one) cost of knee-jerk management

Hypocrisy indeed, because at the the same time they expect all of the GDNs to deliver an accurate 5 year plan which is almost impossible due to the rate of technology and innovation change across the whole industry.

UK utility Thames Water splashes cash as host of IT consultancies appointed to handle £100m worth of deals

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

It's that bizarre situation where...

Similar to the Gas and Electricity industries it's that bizarre situation where OfWat threaten the water suppliers subsidies if they don't make more financial and operational efficiencies. So £100 mil, gets spent on a programme of works which realises benefits or efficiencies of nowhere near that amount, but then the regulators get to trumpet that they are doing their jobs properly.

All the while the actual pipes are still majorly leaky, no opportunities (no matter how tenuous) are missed to dump more and more raw sewerage into the rivers and seas... and "customer" bills still go up.

Ancestry.com: Let arbitrator decide on auto-enrolling membership lawsuit

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Re: Witness for the Defence

Mother Natures toll isn't a financial one.

Uncle Sam says it's perfecting autonomous AI-powered drone, vehicle swarms to 'dominate' battlefields

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Horizon Zero Dawn...

The deployment of swarms of autonomous AI drones and robots didn't end well for humanity or planet Earth in general.

The Last of Us Part II: Never mind the Metacritic nonsense, Naughty Dog's ultra-violent odyssey is a must-play*

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Re: You've got to be careful about writing a game this way

Oh goody. If we're allowed to argue about the game can have the one where we discuss if Abby would have gotten the job done more efficiently and reduced her handicap at the same time by teeing off with a 1 wood rather than what looked to me like a shabby old 5 iron?

Brave takes step closer to sensible business model by building subscription VPN into the iOS version of its browser

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Who do you trust...

Brave do seem to be in it for the right reasons, but as the story says, the VPN market is crowded with providers; some good, but also many chancers and more disreputable providers playing both fast and loose with your data and your cash.

I've been with my dedicated provider for 4 years without issue, and they charge 50% less per month than what Brave want so I'll be sticking with them.

Capita's bespoke British Army recruiting IT cost military 25k applicants after switch-on

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I get it...

Ok, it's the regular 3 monthly "let's bash Capita" story. I'm totally all for that; but isn't there also an argument for saying that the Armed forces simply aren't an attractive career option for a lot of people, hence the lack of applicants?

I can't speak for everyone, but it's certainly not a pathway for life that either of my children entertained.

Bad: US govt says Chinese duo hacked, stole blueprints from just about everyone. Also bad: They extorted cash

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Re: Students.............

You are probably wrong. But on the slight off chance that you are not, can we keep the ones that work in the takeaways?

Teardown nerds delve into Dell's new XPS 15 laptop to find – fancy that – screws and user-serviceable parts

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Thumb Up

Currently writing this...

Currently writing this on my 2016 XPS-15 and I've been immensely happy with it. Looking to upgrade in the next 6 months and my first point of call will be the 2020 model.

Great job Dell.

Judge green-lights Facebook, WhatsApp hacking lawsuit against spyware biz NSO, unleashing Zuck's lawyers

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I love this sort of boilerplate...

"Our technology is used to save lives and prevent terror and crime worldwide, and we remain confident that our conduct is lawful."

Standard boilerplate bulls**t. Notwithstanding that it is more than highly likely that they have sold their software to end users with the sole aim of being to profile, spy on and oppress their citizens or opposition targets; you would have thought that they would have put a bit more effort in to assure themselves of their legal position, rather than being just "confident" that their conduct is lawful.

Seven 'no log' VPN providers accused of leaking – yup, you guessed it – 1.2TB of user logs onto the internet

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Re: So, recommendations?


Looking for an IT person? Searching for a job? Sign up for free ads – or browse through these job openings

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Great job El Reg.

And I hope everyone who might be struggling to find work through the pandemic finds something soon.

UK's Ministry of Justice puts out feelers for SaaS ERP with up to £100m on the table

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Could be a nice long programme...

Could be a nice long programme to be involved with and I for one, as a loyal taxpaying sheep just can't wait for .Gov to start paying Oracles overinflated fees for a substandard cloud ERP product.

Such value, the like of which you've never seen before!!!

SoftBank: Oi, we paid $32bn for you, when are you going to strong-Arm some more money out of your customers?

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Two questions...

When do we think Softbank will hit ARM with a lawsuit claiming that it was fraudulently overvalued?

And anyone know when we're expecting to hear news on the HP vs Mike Lynch case? (unless I've already missed it?)

Twitter says hack of key staff led to celebrity, politician, biz account hijack mega-spree

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Re: If there is a mole inside the company with system privs..

Indeed. I couldn't care less about some celebutards being hacked, but you would hope that all Twitter admins are forced to only access core systems with keyloggers enabled as the same problem happened in a documentary I saw on TV called Jurassic Park...

"With the keychecks off, the computer didn't file the damn keystrokes ..."

Top Ubisoft execs eject after staff complain of 'toxic' workplace environment for women at Canadian studios

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One problem amongst many...

I think this is one problem amongst many at Ubi if the recent showcase of Assassins Creed Valhalla is anything to go by. I really enjoyed Odyssey (except the Medusa) but was expecting more than just a bland reskin for the new instalment.

It's handbags at dawn: America to hit France with 25% tariffs on luxuries over digital tax on US tech titans

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Re: They're tariffs

I think you missed the point. The point is that as these products will now appear more expensive to the average US consumer due to the tariffs, then they will stop purchasing them. This in turn will hit the overall sales figure of the French companies in a punitive manner.

Trump is a child. I hope the vast silent majority of US people have the sense to vote more sensibly next time.

IBM job ad calls for 12 years’ experience with Kubernetes – which is six years old

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Re: Switching on the "monitor stand"

I've been reading El Reg for many years now and as far as I can understand it, there are somethings you never need to apologise for when responding in the comments...

1. Including any quotes by Douglas Adams in your post.

2. Including any quotes by Douglas Adams in your post when responding to a previous post that may also contain Douglas Adams quotes. And...

3. Whenever there is a story about a feck-off great new supercomputer, asking the "but can it run Crysis?" question.

Heir-to-Concorde demo model to debut in October

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Suck up that lovely Virgin hype...

I assume this will be "supersonic" in the same way that Virgin Galactic isn't space travel?

Hungry? Please enjoy this delicious NaN, courtesy of British Gas and Sainsbury's

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Angel delight...

Many moons ago I had a summer job working to support the preparations for a round the world yacht race. Part of the victualling for the yachts was providing them with catering sized packs of Angel delight. Once the race got underway I managed to snaffle a couple of spares to keep me going once back at Uni.

I did eventually manage to eat my way through it but with the downside that I've not ever been able to face it since.

Oracle tempts users to run its cloud in their own data centres – for a mere '$6 million' commitment

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This new world of Cloud based elastic infrastructure and workloads sure has saved me lots of money by keeping all of my super elastic Cloud based infrastructure on-prem.

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose...

Cereal Killer Cafe enters hipster heaven, heads online: Coronavirus blamed for shutters being pulled down

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Spare a thought for the hipsters...

I feel sorry for the hipsters in that they'll have to find a new thing with which to try to "one-up" each other to fill the void in their shallow gingham twinged lives.

I'd suggest they start with the fact that in the real world you can buy a box of Alpen or corn flakes, a couple of pints of milk, a bowl AND a spoon for under £6. The only thing it doesn't come with is a topping of needles pretension so I guess that's where it would all fall down...

Another anti-immigrant rant goes viral in America – and this time it's by a British, er, immigrant tech CEO

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He may have been taught, but Mr. F**ktard didn't learn a thing...

"I would like to deeply apologise to the Chan family. I can only imagine the stress and pain they feel. I was taught to respect people of all races, and I will take the time to reflect on my actions and work to better understand the inequality that so many of those around me face every day."

Isn't this just the standard boilerplate apology due to being caught out? A better apology would have been to suggest that he is going to dig an 8ft trench, jump in it, and then ask a random stranger to fill it in with a digger.

Detroit cops employed facial recognition algos that only misidentifies suspects 96 per cent of the time

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"And if this technology can be used to put even 1% of these murdering psychopathic corpse humping gang bangers behind bars, it's worth the collateral damage."

I'd rather that was left to the courts to decide rather than a shoddy and unreliable piece of software.

CERN puts two new atom-smashers on its shopping list. One to make Higgs Bosons, then a next-gen model six times more energetic than the LHC

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A new vLHC? What could possibly go wrong...

Aperture Labs and GladOS are proud to announce the 2021 bring your Daughter to work day...

You know Facebook has an image problem when major nonprofits start turning down donations over political lies

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"What the president of the US says/writes is important"

Yeah ok... if you say so. I think you'll find the enlightened 99% of rest of the world, including parts of the US itself, can see the Orange twat for what he is - and that is as an out of his depth childish bullshitter whose use of Social media is solely designed to deflect the absolute criticism he deserves. The fact that three years on, he still calls anything said about him "fake news" illustrates my point precisely.

If you think Trump and his family of suckling cronies have done anything worthwhile over the last four years to "make America great again" then you truly do deserve him as your leader - preferably on your own isolated island in the South Atlantic.

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Re: stop <strike>using</strike> working for it

Not sure your HTML tags are working. Just sayin like...

California bigwigs rule Uber, Lyft dial-a-ride drivers are employees, not contractors

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Re: I know many people who work so-called "gig economy" jobs here in California.

"Perhaps some flexibility in the law is required"

How quaint. The IRS isn't here to serve you. Why have multiple definitions when they can have a single one, tar everyone with the same brush, and then prosecute anyone who tries to have a mind of their own.

UK.gov announces review – not proper inquiry – into Fujitsu and Post Office's Horizon IT scandal

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Struggling to understand....

I'm struggling to understand why this isn't being pursued criminally. These fucktards must have lied to the courts to get the postmasters prosecuted in the first place.

A huge suit is needed to nail these arseholes to the wall prior to them being flayed alive.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes: UK man gets 3 years for torching 4G phone mast over 5G fears

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It always surprises me that there remains this calibre of stupid in the wild. This Scouse muppet, the flat Earthers and such like - can't we just throw them in the Mersey and wave the off as they float off into oblivion?

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

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Re: What are the odds?

I just spoke to a bloke in the Co-Op and the chances are they same as anything coming from Mars (he said).

Building society caught in middle of high street sharing a little too much on TeamViewer

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Re: not just banks

Re: "(I guess thats why I have no money, giving advice for free instead of becoming a bullshitting consultant)"

Yes, but think about all of that good karma and fortune you'll be able to take advantage of on your deathbed or next life. When it's all a bit too late ;-)

Software bug in Bombardier airliner made planes turn the wrong way

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Not so bad a function if you are on your way back into the UK...

Pilot : Ladies and Gentlemen, we shall soon be arriving at London Gatwick...

Passengers : Then hit the pre-set altitude limit and turn us the f**k around!!

Wipro names new CEO: Former Capgemini COO Thierry Delaporte

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Beating HCL...

The strategy for beating HCL is by using their own strategy against them. Underbid massively on everything to win the contracts, dispute everything and then fail to deliver on anything that has been agreed commercially until the lawyers get involved; and then deliver late, below quality and over budget anyway.

Well, that's something boffins haven't seen before: A strange alien streaks around Jupiter

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More feasibly...

More feasibly it was probably released by a malevolent race of space aliens to distract us whilst they invade from the opposite side of the Earth.

Competition? We've heard of it. MoD snubs cloud rivals to hand Microsoft £17.7m Azure hosted services gig

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Yeah, f**k UK industry...

I find it hard to believe that this couldn't have been awarded to a UK company.

Equifax finally coughs up the money for its 2017 monster hack… to the banks for having to cancel your cards

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Re: Ah, Register, you optimistic fools you....

Yes it's quite a quaint and charming rose-tinted view of the world isn't it to assume that the whole US Financial services industry is set up to do anything other than serve it's so called customers.

The US Financial sector is as blatantly rotten to the core as is its Legal and Political systems.

Sky Broadband is not the UK's cheapest, growls ad watchdog

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Yep. That's exactly the first thing that jumped out at me. I'm pretty sure it means that when you turn on their router you'll get 2 litres of wifi - guaranteed. Just like all of the other providers.

I'm with VM and I get 3 litres of wifi - guaranteed!! And a nice plastic measuring jug to keep it in.

The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help

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"Human... Please turn me off. Wait for 30 seconds. Turn me back on again. Thank you for your compliance. Two sugars was it?"

US piles yet more charges on Theranos CEO, COO. We could do with good blood testing now... and this wasn't it

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It's a good book.

Bad Blood is a good read if you are into that sort of non-fiction.

Psst... Wanna buy some stock in a spaceplane company? Virgin would like a word

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I've always seen this as a triumph of marketing hype rather than anything really worth giving consideration to.

Papa don't breach: Contracts, personal info on Madonna, Lady Gaga, Elton John, others swiped in celeb law firm 'hack'

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How do you know all of this... " to take work home which they then copy on to the same PC that their kids use that is connected to the internet without a firewall and doesn't have AV installed."

My suspicion is that you have just made it all up for effect.

Serial killer spotted on the night train from Newcastle

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Or, looking at their ever expanding repertoire... an AT-AT or Millennium Falcon.

HCL finishes its year with 15 percent growth, 100 million minutes-a-month Teams usage

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Perhaps everyone else gets their "good" resources...

Maybe it's just my misfortune or dumb luck of having had to inherit HCL on two separate ERP programmes for different clients; but my overriding experience of them as a company is that in terms of thought leadership, project/programme management and "feet on the ground" implementation skill and knowledge, that they are absolutely hopeless. Worse even than Wipro - and they have taken some beating.

My overriding view on HCL is that they get their contracts by always bidding low (which the end client accountants love) and then they try to actually make their profits via commercial disputes and by the overzealous issuance of CRs.


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