Posts by DancesWithPoultry

Windows profanity filter finally gets a ******* off switch

Re: Could Latinise the Anglo-Saxon profanities instead of asterisks

> This fornicating phone a fornicating piece of faeces.

You are Raffles, the Gentleman Thug from Viz, and I claim my £5.

The one interview question that will protect you from North Korean fake workers

Re: The one interview question that will protect you

You could always play Mornington Crescent with them instead.

Re: How fat is Kim Jong Un?

> Flying someone cross continent is expensive

Not as expensive as employing a Nork will turn out to be....... Besides, flying somebody out costs a few grand at most; peanuts from a six-figure salary and employment costs.

In short. Get real. Think of it as a *basic* security measure.

UK bans game controller exports to Russia in bid to ground drone attacks

Re: 'fly by wire' drones

Because Jellied Eel is a well known (and frankly, an incompetent) Russian troll around these parts.

Elon Musk's X revenues in the UK crashed in 2023, down 66%

Re: Dead Parrot

Xitter

Pronounced 'shitter'. (The X is the Greek letter Chi)

See also, Xitler.

Booby-trapped Alpine Quest Android app geolocates Russian soldiers

Trump has been quietly replacing US military top brass with his own loyal supporters

(A quick google will confirm a list.)

This has largely gone unnoticed amongst all the other noise he has been making.

I will leave why he is doing this as an exercise for the reader.

Developer scored huge own goal by deleting almost every football fan in Europe

Re: UK Vs GB

> No-one actually thinks the "Great" means "brilliant"

Al Murray, the pub landlord, would beg to differ.

In wake of Horizon scandal, forensics prof says digital evidence is a minefield

Re: Too close - or too far?

I dunno.

If I was asked to develop financial software where senior staff knowingly knew I had audit free (!) access to manipulate data....... I'd run faster than a greyhound with it's arse on fire.

DOGE dilettantes 'didn't test' Social Security fraud detection tool at appropriate scale

> checks were deposited on time.

That confused me also; like they were checking something on time.

Maybe the 'merkins should learn the difference between a check and a cheque.

Musk's DOGE muzzled on X over tape storage baloney

Re: Only $1M?

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity".

Re: Only $1M?

> the implication that all physical media are "analogue"

That's an almost universal misconception amongst our 1st year Eng students, and probably the young in general.

To them, digital media is only what is in the computer/cloud. Absolutely anything else, from granddads LPs (OK) to dads CDs/DVDs (ummm), is always analogue.

It's something we need to explain every year.

Amazon's Project Kuiper satellites now boarding the rocket to relevance

Amazon subsidised satellite comms: A loss leader?

> Amazon's Project Kuiper satellites

The same company that sold the Alexa smart microphone [1] as a loss leader in order to get a foot into every home.

Granted, Alexa wasn't that much of a success for Amazon, but subsidising satellite internet (and satellite Internet of Shit [2]) to get a foot in the door for wider Amazon services may lead to "interesting" times for Iridium, Starlink and the like. (Amazon certainly WILL undercut them, as they see their profit coming from 'Amazon services', not satellite internet).

[1] I refuse to say 'smart speaker'

[2] I refuse to say 'internet of things'.

Americans set to pay more on all imports: Trump activates blanket tariffs

They need to get a move on.

It only took us 49 days to get rid of the lettuce.

Re: I feel liberated already...

Polar bears live in the Arctic, not the Antarctic.

(Nice sentiment though).

Re: How 'bout that!

> No tariffs for Russia, I noticed.

To be fair, he shouldn't need to impose tariffs on a country he shouldn't be trading with anyway......

Oh.......

Re: Stupidity

> Canadian Champagne.

Eh?

Re: Econ 101

And events from the 19th Century are relevant how?

Re: Econ 101

> And then there are many kinds of harbour charges

You do realise harbour charges pay for the harbour operations and cargo handling, lights, buoyage and other aids to navigation, vessel traffic services (that's ships "air traffic control"), coastguard and pollution control services? Or do you expect ships, not to need these services....... Bearing in mind the large container ships operating at our ports are 1/4 mile long with a capacity of well over 14,000 TEU containers.

To be blunt, I'm curious how it is possible for somebody to be so thick.

Re: Trump is easy to model

Your comment is American exceptionalism at its finest.

"Boomers" did rather well economically in many other countries. Not just the USA.

To suggest this economic benefit was due to a lack of international trade is rather silly. Isn't it.

UK's first permanent facial recognition cameras installed in South London

Re: So how much do the 1% get?

> What do people who are incorrectly detained currently get?

Until recently, they got charged for room and food.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/wrongly-convicted-no-longer-face-being-charged-for-saved-living-expenses

UK satellite smartphone services could get green light this year

Re: Impressive

> or it's so loaded with satire

You must be new here.

Re: Impressive

Bloody idiot.

You should just wait for an eclipse.

Clearly sir has never worked ever worked on call

> No longer will we be able to switch our phone off for an hour and claim lack of signal.

Pffft

You and a work mate both forward your calls to each others number. Anybody calling either of you will get a network error message.

British govt wants to mainline AI, but its arteries are clogged with legacy tech

Re: Consider that any data "harvested" ...

AI 'hallucinations' is the daft Silicon Valley term for what everyone else calls 'bullshitting'.

NCSC taps influencers to make 2FA go viral

Different messages from each government department

National Cyber Security Centre (NCSC) --> Promotes cyber security and recommended use of E2EE.

MI5 and UK Plod --> We want backdoors into everything, including E2EE (and you can trust us to only go after terrorists and paedophiles, even though the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act was used simply to catch people not picking up their dogs shit, as reported by El Reg many moons ago)

Top Trump officials text secret Yemen airstrike plans to journo in Signal SNAFU

Re: Cavalcade of bozos

The Turd Reich.

The post-quantum cryptography apocalypse will be televised in 10 years, says UK's NCSC

Standard Operating Procedure

That's been SOP for our spooks for quite some time.

NCSC, part of GCHQ, looks after business interests and gives advice on securing OT/IT and using encryption, including a recommendation to use E2EE.

MI5 and plod are on the hunt for "baddies" [1] and so want a back door into everything.

This has been the confused government policy for years.

[1] This included using the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 to catch people not picking up their dogs shit, as reported by El Reg many moons ago

Amazon to kill off local Alexa processing, all voice requests shipped to the cloud

Smart Speaker?

The correct name for them is 'Smart Microphone"

Alexa = Amazons microphone.

Governments can't seem to stop asking for secret backdoors

> get pissed.

I wouldn't say its cause to open a bottle and celebrate old boy. Rather the opposite in fact.

US stocks slip as Trump pulls trigger on Canada, Mexico, China tariffs

Re: There’s stupid and there’s dumb but

I wish he'd do a Harold.

Garmin Connect outage leaves folks unable to share their fitness virtue signaling

Re: Americans panic ..

> They need to upload an activity lasting a minimum duration

fnarr fnarr

Have a guess what data we would choose to upload if some American company tried doing that in Blighty!

Hands-on jobs to grow fastest, because AI can't touch them

Re: "administrative roles that automation can easily replace"

Hallucinating is the daft Silicon Valley term.

Us users of AI prefer the term 'bullshitting'.

Badass Russian techie outsmarts FSB, flees Putinland all while being tracked with spyware

We are used to seeing paid Russian trolls here, however your trolling really is the most pathetic attempt we have seen for quite some time.

I will leave it for others to suggest more productive things you could do with your life.

Police arrest suspect in murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO, with grainy pics the only tech involved

One could say it was an American response to an American problem.

Raspberry Pi 500 and monitor arrive in time for Christmas

Re: Pictures, pictures, pictures

> Seriously, El Reg can't even include the price in both currencies?

Unfortunately, El Reg is becoming increasingly irrelevant to it's core audience of King Charlies subjects.

Job seekers call BS on the workplace AI revolution

> I then had to spend an hour fixing all the hallucinations!

I think you mean "identifying where it bullshited".

Call a spade a spade.

Killer app for AI is still years away, says industry analyst

Re: Killer app for AI is still years away

> Especially one prone to hallucinatory inaccuracies?

* Bullshitting.

"Hallucinations" is a ridiculous silicon valley term. Those who have interacted with AI, especially in Blighty, are a bit more forthright.

Skyscraper-high sewage plume erupts in Moscow

Re: Maybe workmen have

> X/Twitter

* Xitter

Pronounced 'shitter'. (See also Xitler).

Smart TVs are spying on everyone

Re: Smart, you say ?

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't flush that".

Wot about the GDPR?

No mention of how the GDPR limits and/or forbids such spying in Blighty and how our tellys behave?

I'm afraid Vulture Central is becoming more irrelevant to its core readership of King Charles subjects.

LinkedIn: If our AI gets something wrong, that's your problem

Re: Most of LinkedIn seems like AI-generated crap

AI "hallucinating" is the Silicon Valley term.

Users of AI prefer the term "bullshits".

This difference in terminology speaks volumes.

Babbage boffin Ada Lovelace honored for computer science contributions

> enjoyed her math

Maths. It's short for mathematics.

Crack coder wasn't allowed to meet clients due to his other talent: Blisteringly inappropriate insults

Re: "...with a well timed question"

> Used to double-team with my boss during job interviews

Fnarr fnarr

Re: Boat?

I think you will find HMS Daring is a ship, not a boat.

A huge week for satnav as both China and Europe make generational launches

Re: Radio doesn't go through water well

> triangulation

* Trilateration

One measures the signals time of flight from the satellites, not the angles they arrive from!

Telcos scolded for unwanted erection of utility poles in race to wire up Britain

Re: I remember when it was all fields around here...

And "fibre" would be spelt properly an'all.

Oh well, we'll always have Paris.

23andMe settles class-action breach lawsuit for $30 million

I recall adverts on the telly from these clowns encouraging people to give DNA testing kits as Christmas presents FFS!

The mind boggles.

"Oh look, yer dads not yer dad, your brother is now wanted for an armed robbery in Worksop and you are predisposed to Alzheimer's". "Merry Christmas"

Foot-thick wall workaround: Gigabit network links beamed through solid concrete

Re: The biological effects on human anatomy

> What are the long term biological effects on human anatomy of 6 GHz at 36 Watts?

Why don't you step outside and be treated to the effects on human anatomy of 600 THz at several kW.

(Though not here in Blighty where it is currently pissing it down like a cow on a flat rock).

Elon Musk’s Starlink won't block Elon Musk’s X in Brazil, as required by court order

> ass kissers repeating and approving whatever he writes

And trying to down vote all comments critical of their Dear Leader on El Reg!

A nice cup of tea rewired the datacenter and got things working again

Re: I'm alright, Jack.

If I caught myself listening to Radio 2.....

....I think I'd do the decent thing and politely ask to be left alone with a bottle of whisky and a service revolver.