Posts by DancesWithPoultry

Attention data hoarders: Alexa loses its Plex appeal as voice feature gets canned

Re: Talking to a pair of speakers…

You have fallen into the trap of referring to them as 'smart' speakers.

They aren't. They are 'smart' microphones.

Alexa = Amazons microphone.

AI still doesn't work very well, businesses are faking it, and a reckoning is coming

Re: Think of the bloody children!

I assure you, if there is one thing LLM's are utterly utterly crap at, it is mathematics.

Newly launched civil service pension portal from Capita is crapita, users report

Re: Good grief!

> assholes

*arseholes

AI slop hits new high as fake country artist goes to #1 on Billboard digital songs chart

Re: if they break up, she will grift it into a $billion new album

> As was Brittney Spears (anyone under 30 is probably asking "!who?")

Didn't she write that guide to Laser Physics?

Frustrated consultant 'went full Hulk' and started smashing hardware

Meh

Keith Moon used to bring extension leads, so when he hoofed the TV out of the hotel window, it would still be on when it hit the ground.

This ones for Keith, Lemmy, Ozzy, Dio and all the sadly departed Rock Gods ---->

Company that made power systems for servers didn’t know why its own machines ran out of juice

Re: The Really Wild Show

> The path to the similar meanings is different between sketchy and dodgy, but the end destination is the same, near enough.

A sketchy curry is merely something like a curry; an outline of a curry if you will.

A dodgy curry is a genuine curry that might give me the shits.

Re: The Really Wild Show

Probably the same time they started saying sketchy instead of dodgy, despite the fact the two have different connotations.

I blame the 'merkins.

AWS outage turned smart homes into dumb boxes – and sysadmins into therapists

Re: I must be missing out...

Why are you assuming IGotOut is male?

You sexist.

Re: Oh sh*t

> who's to say the the crapper isn't next?

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't flush that".

Re: It's not just tossers who use smart stuff

I recall Arthur C Clarke saying something similar....

He thought inventing the communications satellite would allow the world to communicate better and spread knowledge, saying he never thought it would be used to flog soap powder.

Re: Really?

Not if its American.

The 'merkin the waiters will bring you a mug of water at ~50 Celsius, with the tea bag next to the mug.

(It typically takes several attempts to get them to pour boiling water onto the tea. Then having to ask them for milk.... only for them to come back with cream. This in 4 and 5 star hotels FFS!)

Re: A taste of the future.

> Who needs an app for that? "Just let me warm my feet for a moment..."

To be fair, that costs more than 200 USD per month.

Techies tossed appliance that had no power cord, but turned out to power their company

Re: However...

> "pull the plug" and see who starts shouting

We did that once. Proper checks revealed nothing, so we pulled the plug to see who complained.......

Nothing happened. So we eventually went home.

Then at 6am the plant nightshift couldn't clock out, because some clowns had unplugged the box that controlled the timecard punch clock.

Microsoft warns of 'payroll pirate' crew looting US university salaries

> paychecks

* paycheques

UK Home Office opens wallet for £60M automated number plate project

> drivers licence

Driving licence. (Though at least you didn't spell licence with an 's'.)

Techie found an error message so rude the CEO of IBM apologized for it

Re: Nothing offensive, just impossible

Any discussion of Fortran (sorry, FORTRAN) is inevitably dominated by those who once saw some F77 code as a kid, or are old enough to have used punchcards.

Yet Fortran 90 was a major overhaul of the language, and modern Fortran versions are actually rather spiffing. Not to mention they can be used with the old libraries which are utterly bombproof.

There is a reason Fortran is still in use for mathematical modelling. It's simple to use and you can really trust it.

That joke is so old it predates the invention of ROT13.

> spelled

*spelt

This place is becoming infested with Yank grammar.

UK government says digital ID won't be compulsory – honest

I reckon they’ll manage to outsource it to Crapita to fuck up.

Re: It won't be mandatory, but you'll increasingly be screwed without it

> REQUIRES swiping a driver's license

As a chap who doesn’t have a "driver's license" (I have a driving licence which is, presumably, incompatible with the POS terminal), I'd be rather tempted to start making noises about discrimination just for a laugh.

UK police caught slacking off by jamming their keyboards while working from home

Re: Bloody yank grammar.

* Limeys

Both spelt incorrectly and lacking a capital 'L'. Standards really are slipping on that side of the pond.

> gotten

*got

Bloody yank grammar.

Re: Meanwhile

> Mouse jigglers are less than the price of a pint on AliExpress.

Meh.

Leaving an optical mouse on top of your analogue watch costs nothing. (Assuming it has a second hand).

Pentagon decrees warfighters don't need 'frequent' cybersecurity training

Re: The actual point gets buried in a tide of anti-republican bullshit

> A relatively rare daytime missile strike on an office building.... Russia normally does those at night to minimise civilian casualties..

Oh comrade, how funny you are.

You need to troll us better than that, otherwise your failure to keep "the west" misinformed will get you sent to the frontline in Kursk for poor performance.

Re: The actual point gets buried in a tide of anti-republican bullshit

Of course, you're all up for limiting security training aren't you Comrade Eel?

Texas man accidentally shoots cable, brings internet down

Re: Let me guess

> The solution is more guns?

Nah.

The solution is to use good old fibre.

Tesla on the wrong tracks with Fail Self Driving, Senators worry

Re: Not the first time I've seen a video like that

Not really. A google says a basic model Tesla costs < £40,000

Not a cheap car (it's no budget hatchback), but Tesla's certainly aren't a 'rich people' car. And no, I'd rather not drive one thanks.

Blockchain just became an utterly mainstream part of the global financial system

Re: "promise to bake it into international payment infrastructure"

*maths

It's short for mathematics.

Explain digital ID or watch it fizzle out, UK PM Starmer told

Re: "they are choosing us, they are choosing Hartlepool, Warrington, Belfast, the East Midlands"

And (on balance) make their users more productive than AI would!

Britain's policing minister punts facial recog nationwide

I fear having to prove I haven't done anything wrong.

Re: Just to be sure

> I believe there are some telly's (*) that do have inbuilt cameras

Strangely found in some hotel rooms pointing at the bed.

These days, a small roll of insulation tape lives in my travel bag. Handy for bodge repairs as well as for sticking over any unwanted lenses.

Russian fake-news network, led by an ex-Florida sheriff's deputy, storms back into action with 200+ new sites

Re: The worse part is people can't spot this bu***hit

Speak for yourself old boy.

Re: The worse part is people can't spot this bu***hit

OK Comrade Eel.

MI6 reveals 'Silent Courier' dark web portal upgrade it hopes will help it recruit new spies

I've heard Jim Davidson be funnier.

Pigs will fly: Uber Eats to trial drone delivery

> I'd hate to see a crow capable of taking down a 33 lb / 15 kg drone! I mean, I'm sure they can do it, but not without serious injury.

Dunno about crows, but I give a 15kg drone fuck all chance against the seagulls around here.

'ard them gulls are. I've seen them take on and mob big hefty blokes at the merest hint of a meat and potato pie.

Toys can tell us a lot about how tech will change our lives

Re: Adams was right....

And an honourable mention to 'everything2'.

Still up and going strong after all these years, and still honouring the early, quirky days of the late 90s -early 2000s internet.

Obligatory link to the "everything2 article" on Wikipedia

1,200 undergrads hung out to dry after jailbreak attack on laundry machines

They should be taken to the cleaners and hung out to dry.

NASA finds best evidence of life on Mars so far

Re: as we don't know it

> math

*maths

It's short for mathematics.

Why Windows 95 left a handy power saving feature on the cutting-room floor

Re: I'm stunned

> There was no "telemetry" back then

Ah, the glory days when your software and OS didn't phone home behind your back.

Basic projector repair job turns into armed encounter at secret bunker

Re: How did you get in here?

> the toilet cubicles did not have doors on them

Pretty standard for American bogs.....

....at least, the gaps around / above / under the bog cubicle doors are so large, you wonder if the pissed-up carpenter responsible took their inspiration from wild-west saloon doors.

Sainsbury's eyes up shoplifters with live facial recognition

Re: Faces...

> Nuns?

Reverse! Reverse! Reverse!

Europe Putin the blame on Russia after GPS jamming disrupts president’s plane

Re: Galileo

> I assure you that having a higher anti jam capability than GPS, was a major part of why the EU believed they wanted this in the first place. And we echoed that back to them, precisely, because that’s what they wanted to hear.

Is not a good look for an engineer that you did that, knowing it was bollocks.

Unlike Galileo, the new eLoran system [1] was an excellent backup to GPS that was very difficult to jam, and a real string in our bow for resilient Position, Navigation and Timing (PNT). Though eLoran was only up for a few for months before its funding was pulled and the money diverted to Galileo.

> If the USA turned on SA,

The USA turning on SA became utterly pointless by then, because everybody had already deployed Differential GPS to counter it [2].

[1] Nothing to do with the old Loran-C .

[2] Known fixed points monitor the local GPS signal for errors and broadcast corrections.

Online property ad reveals looted Nazi war art, triggers police raid

Re: So what have we learned today, children?

Heh

The number of my students who don't think to change locks when moving into a new rental is fucking astounding.

Asking them if they trust every previous tenant (and their dodgy boyfriend/girlfriend) not to have a copy of their keys does prompt a rethink.

FWIW: Changing a euro cylinder lock is an easy 3 minute DIY job. When you move out, you simply pop the old one back on and take your lock to your new rental.

Good morning, Brit Xbox fans – ready to prove your age?

That really isn't the response one should give when wearing the anonymous mask.

Teen interns brute-forced a disk install, with predictable results

Light a man a fire and he will be warm for an hour.

Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

No more 'Sanity Checks.' Inclusive language guide bans problematic tech terms

Re: Quite possibly

> It’s Ms.

We should have guessed.

Re: Can't say died

You mean the Jacob?

[For non-Brits: The Rees-Mogg]

Desktops and printers in coffee shops? Starbucks Korea tells customers to 그만 해

Re: Now I understand

> A cafe would have an urn of tea

Proper builders tea that is mate. Puts hair on your chest and built an empire that did. Just the job to wash down a full fry up with back pudding (and with a slice of Lorne sausage and bit of haggis for them north of the boarder).

> If you were some sort of effete social dandy

If I want owt fancy, I'll go to a proper tea room for home made sandwiches, scones, cakes and a selection of teas. All tasty and brewed properly, unlike the shite tea you get in American coffee chains. Unfortunately, finding a tea room in London is now nigh on impossible as only the chains can afford the rents. Elsewhere in Blighty, the tea room is alive and well.