* Posts by Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward

186 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Feb 2023

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BOFH: Why's the network so slow?

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Pint

"Ahhhm, let's see. How much is a pint, eight pints, a curry, and another pint?"

Excellent. This will ensure the BOFH and PFY will be good to make sure the network is in top notch in short order.

<burpsch>

<hicsh>

'scuse me, I'm off for another curry and a pint. ---->

You're wrong, I'm right, and you're hiding the data that proves it

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Happy

And this is why I love the comments section, especially if there's lots of good punnery...

BOFH: An 'AI PC' for an Acutely Ignorant user

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Proving it...

There's no need to prove anything... just throw vendor X (who the company bought it from) under the bus and claim they've sold you some eyewash, but vendor Y really got the real deal.

Lather, rinse, repeat for vendors Y, Z, A, B, C etcetcetc....

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Ahhhhh, this brings back distant memories of the 8087, 80287, 80387 and the 80487 maths co-processor.

In the case of the 486, the coprocessor was actually a full-fledged 486...

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Hook a couple of purple LED blinkenlights up to a raspberry pi, and have it do a funky display when it detects user activity or at random times.

Also, a sensor to detect meatbag proximity. When no meatbags are present, activity can be very low, but when there's meatbags, activity can vary.

Label it the deluxe AI, and flog it for a million $.

The origin of 3D Pipes, Windows' best screensaver

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

EscapeGL (IIRC) coded a nifty set of 3D OpenGL screensavers for OS/2 back in the day...

At Apple, AI stands for 'Apple Intelligence' – and it's coming to everything

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

corrections

*worthless developer conference

*crapple intelligence

The idea where Siri can infer that "there" is a location and that people will want to make an appointment "there" is going to end up really badly.

Still going to be interesting to watch.

And no, I will not be trusting any AI as their learning data can be poisoned, as the recent glue on pizza thing with google proved.

Analysts join the call for Microsoft to recall Recall

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Do this Recall come with a three-titted ho?

On a serious note, how easy will it be to pump and dump loads of bollocksy information into the Recall database?

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Forensic Efferdent

How cute, a downvote from a Micros~1.sht fanboi...

Mystery miscreant remotely bricked 600,000 SOHO routers with malicious firmware update

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: unhappy security researcher?

I tend to concur with this idea.

The RAT was first installed to enable the loading of the payload used to brick the routers. Most devices do checking on firmware upgrades to make sure it is the correct firmware upgrade, and the RAT simply disabled that specific function (or overruled it).

This is what any good BOFH will do with any unauthorized device on his LAN. Simply brick it without warning. Muhuhahaha.

BOFH: Come on down to the dunge– erm … basement

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Pint

Re: And I thought....

Mine too! 1969...

====> for our enjoyment

BOFH: The greatest victory is that which requires no battle

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

In the next episode we will see the BOFH and his sidekick the PFY wrestle control back from their AI overlords and restore order and sanity.

In an alternate universe, the PFY will take a leaf out of the BOFH's grimoire and unleash his own AI (or two) on the company, leading to the unfortunate deployment of the killer bot.

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Who knows a future AI Boss could be in play?

Just wait until AI fouls things up like a simple tax return, leading to you getting charged with something serious, and the you getting shuffled off to some hellish purgatory where you're in jail but nobody can help you as things are really fecked up...

I think AI does not belong in decision making positions.

As a tool in helping you to resolve issues, or as an information tool, yes, then that will work.

We still need some humans with common sense at the end of a decision making line, just to check things over.

I can fix this PC, boss, but I’ll need to play games for hours to do it

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Kilrathi

Here, kitty, kitty.

BOFH: Smells like Teams spirit

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

pingely ping pong pingely pongo pong

said the new personal disorganizer after a hefty dose of teams.

GNU STP

FYI: This site claims to have harvested 4B+ Discord chats, today all yours for a price

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Mushroom

Make double sure with a Tsar Bomba when nuking these ne'er-do-wells from orbit.

BOFH: So you want more boardroom tech that no one knows how to use

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Devil

Re: I was once rushed to a meeting...

My response to unauthorized boredroom devices would be an accidentally spilled cup of coffee or glass of Coke over said offending device.

Said spill to be entirely accidental and be caused by the owner of said offending device.

BOFH: I get locked out, but I get in again

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

German tomfoolery

Anybody swapped the regular american/british (or is it bri'ish?) keyboard driver over to a German keyboard?

German keyboard have the A and Z keys swapped, along with a couple of others...

Health system network turned out to be a house of cards – Cisco cards, that is

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Planned obsolescence...

BOFH: In the event of a conference, the ninja clause always applies

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: You have to know the obscure rules ....

Bonus points for using an Eliza machine (both voice and email) to keep the Klingon busy for a long while.

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Beautiful.

I duck behind a large sign board and look around for the PFY, but he's gone. A large potted plant in the far corner of the conference center appears to have gained mass, though.

Coffee, meet keyboard.

Work for you? Again? After you lied about the job and stole my stuff? No thanks

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Pint

Re: "And to this day, the more he dislikes someone, the more polite he is towards them."

My motto is : "The North remembers".

Halt! Bierzeit! ===>

WATSON picks up slack on Mars for SHERLOC as Perseverance gadgets show age

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

The tripods are on their way to your location.

Black helicopter icon used as there's no tripod icon.

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

I came here to expect punnery.

Sad panda.

On the other hand, it just goes to show what proper engineers can achieve.

Damn Small Linux returns after a 12-year gap

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

We were all Linux noobs back then. Strangely, none of us whined about it being "too hard".

Plus there was no Google to help you out when you got stuck...

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Small?

Not to mention the terabytes of storage required.

A pox on bloat.

Speaking of which, SymbOS (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SymbOS and http://www.symbos.de/facts.htm) for the Z80 also looks good, when compared to the bloatedness that is called Windows.

BOFH: Hearken! The Shiny Button software speaks of Strategic Realignment

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

I see your Shiny Buttocks Software and raise you a Shiny Bollocks Software

Please install that patch – but don't you dare actually run it

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: I only see 2 options: (though this is only a quick look)

"It was just a slip of the finger, honest... "

BOFH: Looks like you're writing an email. Fancy telling your colleague to #$%^ off?

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
WTF?

AI and its associated foibles

I do use AI, but only as a supplementary tool, and not as a must-have.

There were times that I asked it something, and it gave me x and y, but omitting z, which I filled in using my experience.

So, as a supplementary tool, it is great to have, but using it to support your bread and butter is asking for big, big trouble.

It do well to remember this : "To err is human, to really foul things up require a computer."

Google settles with Singular Computing over claims of stolen AI chip tech

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Sinclair Computing

I read the title as "Google settles with Sinclair Computing over claims of stolen AI chip tech"... and went "WTF is Sinclair Computing?"

Boeing goes boing: 757 loses a wheel while taxiing down the runway

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Boeing boing boing

The trouble with having beancounters in a company is that they will try to cut costs, no matter the product.

Engineers, on the other hand, will make sure everything is A-OK before releasing it, and it will be a bit more expensive, and you will have to wait longer.

Travel app Kayak offers Boeing 737 Max 9 filter after that door plug drama

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Money talks.

Shortcuts makes more money, until things goes phut.

Subway's data torpedoed by LockBit, ransomware gang claims

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Lovely punnery.

Pity it was so thinly rolled this time, need to garnish your articles with more punnery.

Veeam researching support for VMware alternative Proxmox as backup buyers fret about Broadcom

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Good

Scuttlebutt has it that restoring from Proxmox backup server is a real PITA as it is slow, since the backups consists of thousands of small files.

I am testing out Proxmox atm, and find that the Veeam agent on the VM's backs up quicker than Proxmox backup server. Plus, Veeam's been proven through and through.

IT consultant fined for daring to expose shoddy security

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

You is gonna get Pwned.

You is gonna get Pwned.

Any bets on how long this will take?

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Payroll PI

As sysadmin I have permissions to go all over the network.

Including the HR folder.

But I do not, because foreknowledge is an ugly thing. So I just leave the HR folder well off-limits to myself, and keep well away from it, unless I'm requested to recover deleted files etc...

It really is not worth it perusing the data in that folder, you may see something which may trigger you...

Nah. Nope.

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

This reminds me of the "Johannesburg job" - city of Johannesburg's billing system had a flaw (URL manipulation) which was not fixed even when reported.

Chap who discovered it, went public with the knowledge, and a whole host of curious types visited the CoJ website and had a shufty at the URL manipulation thing. In desperation CoJ shut the webserver down.

City threatened with legal and court action, but nothing came of it.

But they fixed the vulnerability.

Seems like security consultants now have to toss a coin and decide on whether to report a vulnerability and risk getting taken to court, or keep quiet about it and hope it never get abused...

Junior techie had leverage, but didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Pun-ishment?

Beautiful.

This will be my slogan for my next company. Buhuhahaha.

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Coat

Just one question - how did the minion install said UPS the first time round without tipping things over?

Friday, almost time for a walkabouts and a beer at the local. ---->

Atari 400 makes a comeback in miniature form

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Lords of Midnight/Doomdarks Revenge

These two classics from Mike Singleton's still alive and well.

You can get the smaller LOM/DDR from https://icemark.com/ while the much larger LOM/DDR (DDR still in development) from https://www.frozenempire.net/ - but with much more improved graphics etc than the "smaller" games.

Interestingly enough, Game of Thrones, especially north of the wall gives one the impression of being in LOM/DDR.

All Hail Mike Singleton. May his memory never fade.

Infosys co-founder doubles down on call for 70-hour work weeks

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Got bitten by overtime claim getting scrapped just because due procedure was not followed (manager had to request it, and sign off on that, which was never done).

So.

I'll work my 8-5 slot and bugg'r orf home after.

Any work left over will be continued the next day.

You can take your overtime and shove it. I'm done with that sort of scheisse.

WTF? Potty-mouthed intern's obscene error message mostly amused manager

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Megaphone

Never, ever do "custom" messages. Rather, use clean messages.

Otherwise the Karens will call the manager, and get you fired, especially when a sense of humour is sorely lacking.

While we fire the boss, can you lock him out of the network?

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

hired for a hosting company as their senior engineer

Tsohost?

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
Devil

Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

A true BOFH never want's to be the boss, at least not in title. Manipulating the person in that post, well, that's just the game!

'strue dat. Being a mangler means you are more visible.

Being a normal worker means you are less visible, and have more time for shenanigans.

The Hobbes OS/2 Archive logs off permanently in April

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Sad to see it go, but life goes on.

Broadcom ditches VMware Cloud Service Providers

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

The BOFH himself said it - the enemy of the BOFH is the common beancounter.

Broadcom will see VMWare revenue tank, and try to fix things, but by then it will be too late.

Proxmox is a good alternative. Time to go and revisit it.

Apple exec defends 8GB $1,599 MacBook Pro, claims it's like 16GB in a PC

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Had an 16Gb iPad.

It filled up real quickly, and was useless.

Same with Android phones.

Nowadays I look for a phone with at least 64Gb RAM, and an SD card slot.

The SD card do help a lot with extra storage space.

The death of the sysadmin has been predicted for years – we're not holding our breath

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

AI does not have intuition and instinct.

Meatbags do.

In general, an AI can perform and do the job well, but if a small spanner lands into the works somewhere, and bogs the AI down, the meatbag will be called up to sort the resultant mess out.

Suits ignored IT's warnings, so the tech team went for the neck

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: similar

Ah, the heady days of Jennicam and the BOFHCam...

Sadly, those days are long gone... :(

Robot mistakes man for box of peppers, kills him

Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

Dune

Any time soon... the Mentat will be established, along with the Bene Gesserit...

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