Posts by Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward

BOFH: The Boss meets the unbearable weight of innovation

The way things are going, and AI is in every single program, people will revert to AI-free programs just to get rid of the irritating Clippy imposing itself, and interfering with their documents and spreadsheets.

Re: Best line?

There was the Xmodem, then Ymodem and then the Zmodem file transfer protocol.

But, there was an unheard-of protocol, called the BOFH protocol.

It is easy to incorporate into any CPE (clustomer premises equipment) no matter who the vendor may be, and can target specific users, data streams, sites or everything all at once.

It will work over any transfer medium (dial-up, adsl, fiber, copper, starlink, barbed wire, you name it, it'll work). The main feature of it is if it feels good (which are not most of the time) your transfers will zip through.

However, when it feels bastardly, speeds will start up great, then goes slower and slower over time, so that the last few bytes of the transfer will trickle through at a measly 4kb/s.

If it will feel extra pissy, it'll induce CRC errors, peering errors, or just random errors and will terminate the transfer, alternatively it will corrupt the transfer randomly.

Re: There's your problem

Perfect.

Send in the tea ladies.

cue Pinky and Brain theme song im Deutsch

(yes, there's a theme song in German) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4Rl83wK1VE

Re: He gave them his credit card

That printer was all but forgotten...

<bip>

What? No laxatives in the food or drinks?

Stargate to land its first offshore datacenters in the United Arab Emirates

Simon got his work cut out - by corrupting every single LLM in the world.

To work!

Microsoft revives DOS-era Edit in a modern shell

Adding AI to applications will drive people away to AI-free applications.

Even if you have to run Windowsxxx in Virtualbox with WordPerfect/AmiPro/SuperCalc/Lotus 1-2-3/whatever just to escape the AI madness...

Automatic UK-to-US English converter produced amazing mistakes by the vanload

Re: Argh!

The BOFH always have a solution for every problem (quicklime + carpet + bossly unit rolled up) or crisis (fire + halon + bossly unit in the server room)

NASA keeps ancient Voyager 1 spacecraft alive with Hail Mary thruster fix

If they have to design a Voyager-type of probe today, how far will it manage to travel before it completely go full TITSUP?

After more than half a century, the voyage of Kosmos 482 is over

Kaiju No1 to be spotted soon.

Humanity will have to build its first Jaeger.

Ref : Pacific Rim (2013)

Getting the hell out of Dodge =====>

Boffins warn that AI paper mills are swamping science with garbage studies

AI = very expensive bollocks generator.

You think ransomware is bad now? Wait until it infects CPUs

Will it be able to infect Z80 CPUs?

If not, then we'll have to fall back to Speccies with Z80 CPU's should the worst case scenario happens.

Time to get out of IT, get a nice little farm with lots of sheep and chicken, and get out of the rat race.

A new Lazarus arises – for the fourth time – for Pascal programming fans

Noice.

Need to update my current Lazarus installation... and play with my new toys.

People find amazing ways to break computers. Cats are even more creative

Re: We had an issue with a rabbit

We love spitzensparken und poppencorken mit blowenfusen - will apply said bitter apple spray to live wires...

Teens maintained a mainframe and it went about as well as you'd imagine

> plugh

A hollow voice says "Fool".

>

Soviet probe from 1972 set to return to Earth ... in May 2025

Can it do us a favour and hit Nkandla? Or Parliament while it is in session?

Microsoft to preload Word minutes after boot

Re: Bad and rude behaviour

Going to be interesting if all the software start to "preload" themselves into memory after installation - then cause even more issues for you as end-user...

Naaaa.

Like the one poster somewhere above said - why not just install only the basic features of these programs? The end-user will most of the time only use the basic functions.

Any other functions can be invoked or loaded with dynamic link libraries... or am I wrong?

I'm pretty sure this sort of thing will go viral with people getting tired of program bloat :

https://www.theregister.com/2025/04/26/dos_distraction_free_writing/

Techie solved supposed software problem by waving his arms in the air

Where can I get proper dwarf bread?

GNU PTerry.

Microsoft pitches pay-to-patch reboot reduction subscription for Windows Server 2025

Patches borking the server

What will happen in a scenario when a hotpatch borks the server, and causes major data corruption?

BOFH: The Prints of Darkness pays a visit

Re: Sheer genius!!

Once upon a time we had a microwave which would incessantly beep every couple of seconds after somebody nuked their lunch, just as a reminder that said lunch is still inside the microwave.

Well, somebody did it. Walked away and forgot about said lunch.

The beeping started to irritate me, so I helpfully nuked the cold food again.

Then left for my desk.

After a while it started to beep yet again. Said owner still did not collect his/her/they/them's foodstuffs from the microwave.

So I nuked it. Again. But for a bit longer this time in order to ensure it will remain warmer for longer.

Thereafter no more irritating beeping. Hope the food was tasty and delicious. Fnarrr.

I picked this specific icon, because the third time round I would've nuked the absolute shit out of it.

Got an old HP MFP color Laser at home.

Decided against upgrading its firmware as I don't want HP to brick it, and it is still working, so why upgrade the firmware and risk it?

Microsoft mystery folder fix might need a fix of its own

Re: Patching the Dumbai way...

Soon to be renamed crap-pilot

Static electricity can be shockingly funny, but the joke's over when a rack goes dark

static electricity = 12v car battery on the floor

it's static, and it's 12v of electricity...

Microsoft to mark five decades of Ctrl-Alt-Deleting the competition

Windows - from the company that created EDLIN...

Why do they have to use flat windows, flat buttons etc for the GUI? It is highly unproductive.

Give me the beautiful GUI of OS/2 (or at a pinch, Windows 3.1) where you can see where the bloody window border is, and which button or option is greyed out (or disabled)....

And stop putting a bloody search field in the titlebar of the window!

CUA is dead. Long live CUA.

Tech support session saved files, but probably ended a marriage

I'm wondering....

Tyrant = Noisy Gobshite?

(yes, google noisy gobshite if you haven't read that particular saga yet....)

The best On Call story I've read by far.

VanHelsing ransomware emerges to put a stake through your Windows heart

What will happen if you sign up for this, and drop the malware off on Russian hosts by accident? *whistling innercently*

The end result will be most probably a baseball bat to the knees, or a drone with a nasty payload flying into your house...

Developer sabotaged ex-employer with kill switch activated when he was let go

People who think they're gangsta and do the BOFH thing need to wake up to reality.

Just walk away without leaving any nasty logic bombs. It is always for the best to be the high man and to keep your integrity intact than to stoop to low level dirty tricks...

Re: Damn

Until you get a lot of plods on your case.

BOFH: Forecasting and the fine art of desktop upgrades

<bip>

The winner of last year's Windows Ugly Sweater is ...

Meanwhile, Binky the Cheerful, Winking Paperclip : (look up ubersoft.net on your web browser)

Binky : Hiya Skipper, it looks like you're experiencing some global heating. Shall I release some nasty CFCs in order to make things hotter?

Burplicious greetings from a poeth hot Eastern Cape, South Africa.

Google Gemini tells grad student to 'please die' while helping with his homework

Colossus : The Forbin Project.

Re: What Kind of Illogical Idiot ...

skynet watches, learns and bides its time

Soon.

Lenovo China clones the ThinkPad X1 Carbon with an old, slow, local x86

Anybody willing to get one via a black market channel, put it on a sterile network, and plug a packet sniffer in to see if anything is transmitted to a hidden mothership?

Airbus A380 flew for 300 hours with metre-long tool left inside engine

"...it was dark and an engineer didn't use a flashlight."

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

cue yammering and whomping sounds, then the sounds of bones crunching, then silence...

Tech support world record? 8.5 seconds from seeing to fixing

Re: 8.5 seconds...

hAS aNYONE sEEN mY cAPSLOCK kEY?

Re: 8.5 seconds...

Perfection.

The sad tale of the Alpha massacre

Re: Installing programs from C:/

Bad or Missing Command Interpreter.

Gotta love that one.

rm -rf is the best tool for the job

BOFH: Don't threaten us with a good time – ensure it

Inn-sewer-ants

If old Foureyes comes along, and gives me an inn-sewer-ants policy, I'm going to read it well through for any loopholes in my favour before signing it...

Sysadmin shock as Windows Server 2025 installs itself after update labeling error

To err is human.

To really foul things up, requires a computer.

Relocation is a complete success – right up until the last minute

Single point of failure

These buggers are hidden in plain sight.

Hack Nintendo's alarm clock to show cat pics? Let's-a-go!

Re: Using AES-128 encryption...

Password = MarioLovesPeach

did I guess it?

Russian court fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Cyka Blyat!

BOFH: The Boss pulled the plug on our AI, so we pulled the pin on him

The ending was good.

Intern allegedly messed with ByteDance's LLM training cluster

Wonder if they will actually manage to purge the LLM from whatever the intern did?

Or will they just ignore it, hope for the best, and carry on?

Linux admin asked savvy scientist for IT help and the boffin blew it

Oooooh... and the game Hunt-the-Terminator whenever you arrive on a new site sans any network diagram... most usually the fault was a loose BNC.

I resorted to using insulation tape to ensure the BNC connectors does not get screwed loose by idle fingers...

Always a loose BNC to screw up the network.

Re: Yeth marthter!

GNU STP