Posts by Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward

Junior disobeyed orders and tried untested feature during a live robot demo

Was it a BOFHBot?

On second thoughts, no.

The BOFHBot will have a redundant backup power supply anyway. And dare you tamper with its preciouses batteries, it will dismember you without warning.

Hmm....

I need two BOFHBots for personal protection here in South Africa...

Everything needed to make DNA and RNA found in asteroid sample

Haven't they watched Species (the one with Natasha Henstridge) yet?

Brilliant backups that kept data alive for ages landed web developer in big trouble

Going forward, I would update the client contract with the following :

"Any old site will be deleted without any backups as soon as a new site is live and everything have been checked off correctly" or something to that effect, then put the old site behind a firewall which blocks ingress except to yourself.

So if the cuss-tomer start bleating about missing data, you point to that line in the contract, and tell the client $extra to restore the missing data which was not checked for...

All other customers/clients will be business as usual with the exception to this one cuss-tomer, as his IT team will do the same thing again and again.

But then again, just my inner BOFH doing its thing...

ChatGPT advised exec on how to fire Subnautica founders to avoid payout, court ruling says

Legal eagle types

CEO's do have access to a real legal department...

Or was he too cheap not to use real legal counsel?

Penny wise, pound foolish...

Microsoft publishes a workaround for Samsung's C:\ drive woes

Sagsmug

Was the Sagsmug app vibe coded?

Re: Opportunity

What about *cough* AISLOP: ? *cough*

Oh wait, M$ will most probably start to censor the word SLOP everywhere....

Blustering Blackbeard's PC was all at sea, sysadmin got him shipshape in seconds

Happened to a Napoleonic project mangler as well. Complained that his camera was not workening.

Yep. Privacy slider...

Herr Napoleon was not amused.

Altman said no to military AI abuses – then signed Pentagon deal anyway

Skynet

How long still before it becomes self-aware?

Techie was given strict instructions not to disrupt client. Then he touched one box and the lights went out

Re: Headline writer...

HALT!

HAMMERZEIT!

Server crashes traced to one very literal knee-jerk reaction

Daughter, when she started to crawl, would press the reset button.

When I was working or playing games.

Solution - physically disconnect the reset button from the motherboard...

Engineer held hostage by client who asked for the wrong fix

Re: idiots

New word for the week : capacitator.

It will be fun seeing how many people will pick it up.

Perfect.

Ship it.

BOFH: Nobody would be stupid enough to go live with the mirror system, surely

"And people don't like it. They don't want us rejecting their oddball orders – like a 'portable laptop' with an 85-inch screen."

Buh-WHAT? Bro, I would like to see that laptop...

So glad I did not had any food or liquids in my mouth....

'tis beer o' clock for me... Tödelö!

Hotel's rotary switchboard so retro it predates the concept of crashing

Why not start up a new Reg column titled Old Hardware, and let us old farts wax nostalgic over photos of old equipment?

Eternal or external lines?

Knee-Deep in the CAD: Boffin gets Doom running inside a design modeler

Remember the scene in Independence Day where the aliens'computer has been haxx0red and displayed a laughing Jolly Roger?

I think the next alien fleet that decide to invade us will get treated to E1M1 on all their monitor whilst their systems are melting down from a nasty cryptolocker worm/virus combo...

icon - yo ho ho me maties, and a bokkle of rum!

Windows 11 shutdown bug forces Microsoft into out-of-band damage control

Re: Move along there. Nothing new to see

Vibe coding is the new thing. Just use your cuss-tomers to test your vibe coding builds, it's all good....

BOFH: Every computer system eventually serves ads

"Here we go!" I say, as the screen starts filling up with text (being hastily cut-and-pasted into the reply box by the PFY in the other room).

So... does this mean that every AI we're using so far usually have some poor unlucky and underpaid sod pasting google searches on the other end?

Then this explains the AI hallucinating.

Windows 2000 rusts in peace by the sea

Re: SUX0RS

Sounds as if there's a writer inside you that's raring to come out and compete against AI slop.

Memory is running out, and so are excuses for software bloat

OS/2

Time to bring the lean Warp Merlin back?

Warp v3 was optimized for 4Mb RAM back then, but 6Mb was better.

And it's mindboggling to note that we now need 16Gb of RAM for weendooz to run Office365 properly...

C'mon guys, 16Gb HDD space for Warp v3 was oodles and oodles of storage space back then...

BOFH: The Christmas spirit has run dry – time to show some chiller instinct

If all else fails, a random fire will sort things out soon enough.

New boss was bad, his attitude was ugly, so the tech team pranked him good

Re: Access security 101

Sadly, the abomination that is windows 11 does not allow for a top or sides taskbar.

BOFH: All through the house, not a creature was stirring except the homicidal vacuum cleaner

Simon should jump at the chance to acquire iRobot...

...and churn out thousands of customized Roombas...

https://www.theregister.com/2025/12/22/irobot_opinion/

This episode is set to age well.

Thanks Simon, for the entertainment over the years past! Really appreciate it.

A toast to Simon and his creative writings ===>

BOFH: If another meeting is scheduled, someone is going to have a scheduled accident

Or he'll have a nasty accident with an unstable rack full of heavy power supplies...

Web dev's crawler took down major online bookstore by buying too many books

Fatten, Farten, Bursten and Ooze?

Lemonparty, the finest ever.

Windows 11 needs an XP SP2 moment, says ex-Microsoft engineer

Re: Fuck microsoft and the horse they rode in on.

Most posts on X is about users moaning about AI slop creeping in everywhere, and we all wishes M$ would just f**k off with their k**ke.

Re: Windows One

Windows Eleventy-one.

Fallback options :

1. Windows NT4 Workstation with SP6

2. Windows 2000 Workstation with SP4

3. Windows XP SP3

4. Windows 7

Think OS/2 and Linux users must be chortling with glee now.

BOFH: Forward-facing AI brand experience meets forward-facing combustion risk management

Fourth Breakfast, anybody?

omnomnomnomnom

Cabling survived dungeons and fish factories, until a lazy user took the network down

Here's a Cat5 o' nine tails... have fun!

Ahhh, 10base-2 networks and Hunt-the-Terminator... one of my favourite pastimes when at a new client with a wonky 10base-2 network...

Luckily said Terminator was not a deadly one, hence the icon for this post.

I do miss those fun days, those times was a lot better than today's fun and games with Billware crap.

Any Chronicles of George folks around here?

Soup king Campbell’s parts ways with IT VP after ‘3D-printed chicken’ remarks

Which came first?

The 3D printer chicken or the 3D printed egg?

Re: "its poulet is proper repast, made of actual chicken"

DMH Dibhala also want in on this entrepreneurship endeavour...

Developer made one wrong click and sent his AWS bill into the stratosphere

vapourware trying its darnedest to milk customers...

And use a cheerful Clippy to deliver the news...

Britain's first small modular reactors to be built in Wales

Hinkley Point C....

You guys better hope it won't be a rerun of that fiasco...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinkley_Point_C_nuclear_power_station

This has also been covered on El Reg previously.

Oh, and good luck. Are the Thunderbirds on standby?

London left buffering as Hyperoptic backup link refuses to boot

It's not just one cowboy, they're all cowboys winging it.

Firefox adds AI Window, users want AI wall to keep it out

I'm probably not the only one who muttered "oh, piss off" when seeing this...

UK's Ajax fighting vehicle arrives – years late and still sending crew to hospital

Go and read "Superiority" by Arthur C Clarke.

Then rethink this.

UK asks cyberspies to probe whether Chinese buses can be switched off remotely

Where there's smoke, there's a fire...

Imagine the chaos if a major portion of public transport buses got bricked (or stopped from working normally) in a couple of countries.... and private transport too...

Windows 11 26H1 is coming ... for new processors only

Re: "a useful feature when an update inadvertently leaves a system in a broken state"

Quoth the Raven "Qualitay"

Google's Gemini Deep Research can now read your Gmail and rummage through Google Drive

Will Bayesian poisoning be a good thing to do?

Louvre's pathetic passwords belong in a museum, just not that one

Pterry

The condemned in this case are senior members of the Bai crime family. In September, Chinese courts passed death sentences for members of the Ming family, another group thought to operate scam camps that use forced labor.

What are the chances the McSweeneys will also be involved?

Microsoft's lack of quality control is out of control

Re: Microsoft gave up all pretext of caring about QA/QC ...

Ironically, we had a couple of Vista laptops. These were quite stable as well... but I prefer Win7 above everything else.

It'll run just fine with 2Gb RAM, unlike Win10/Win11 which requires a minimum of 8Gb RAM just to operate properly without serious lagging and swapping....

Re: Microsoft gave up all pretext of caring about QA/QC ...

We're a Microslop shop.

Honestly, it is getting so ridiculous and tiresome I've been considering replacing all of Win11 with Linux running a virtualized instance of WinNT4SP6 and our software - no more worries about windowsupdates borking something...

Unfortunately serial and USB passthrough will be problematic and iffy, and will be introducing more points of failure.

So we can just as well go straightout for Linux and stop supporting Microslop alltogether.

Re: Program / Programme

correction - it is micros~1.sht

Re: Well, it compiles!

The new method would be as follows :

- ask AI for code

- compile code, find syntax errors

- tell AI about syntax errors

- AI wrings hands, says it's sorry, gives other code

- compile code, find syntax errors

- tell AI about syntax errors

- AI wrings hands, says it's sorry, gives other code

- compiles code, code compiles without errors

- test code, it works

- release into production

- windows bluescreen/corrupts data/bitlocks your drive/insert your favourite

- informs AI of issues

- AI releases new code

lather, rinse, repeat ad infinitum

25 years of meatbags permanently in space on the ISS

And my sword!