Just keep banging those rocks together guys! (with thanks to one D.Adams)
813 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007
I feel duty bound to alert people to the subtle changes miscreants have recently made when sending out such vile spam. They tend to have dispensed with the subject line "I Love You" and replaced it with "LOL" (Lots Of Love). As somebody who likes to keep up-to-date with the very latest trends and always with an ear towards the social medias, I just thought I should pass that on to everyone. No need to thank me.
<insert sarcastic jokey thingamyjig>
Been some time since I was last on a flight deck but, aside from the fall back with MkI Eyeballs, as in this case, you would often find breather tubes from each engine bay, which would help the flight engineer / co-pilot determine the running state of an engine, should the related electronic instrumentation be a bit squiffy at any point. Also, a two-axis spirit level bolted very, very, securely to the airframe, this would help determine which, if any, sets of undercarriage might have a deflated tire(s), when stationary on the ground. I know things have moved on a lot since, but these sorts of fall back are still current I believe (?).
So, now that I have purchased and taken delivery of, the last remaining stock of two dozen Super Duper Humongous chest freezers, do I put all the brand new laptops, game consoles and other assorted tech etc. into the freezers, together with the 350 multi-pack luxury loo rolls?
With the use of some half inch marine ply, some flexible hoses and five 360 degree casters I now no longer need to worry about the dreaded loo roll shortage! I can now sit "on the throne" all day at my workstation and can move about my office / work-space with relative ease, I can even reach hot coffee and snacks. I just need to have a quick shower at the end of the day and Bob is your mother's brother, no need for any bloomin' loo rolls anymore! I have even incorporated a small water heater so the ceramics involved are at just the right comfy temps for my bum!
(mines the one with the patent application in the pocket)
I really, really, wish that stock images, such as the one chosen to illustrate this article, which cast women in a negative light, just did not exist, ever! Ok, ok, I hear you say, it's just a very, very, small detail, but many such 'small' things as this repeatedly add up and multiply/amplify negative messaging and achieve absolutely nothing in terms of leveling the societal playing field twixt men and women. I feel sure it would probably take a lot longer to track down a comparable stock image depicting a 'befuddled' man in the same context! Imho we should be taking positive action to not reinforce such negativity in the first place. Negativity such as this seems to slip through so quietly, in the background, almost unconsciously and we all (men and women), just seem to accept it without questioning the multiplying effect it has, ("cos it's just like a bit of banter mate!"). Let's face it men have been in the societal 'driving seat' for ever, so we (men) are therefore best placed to take such positive action! Personally I want my daughters and sons to grow up in a better society than the one we continue with at the moment, after all, it is the fecking 21st bloomin' century! - (although we all seem to be doing our level best to drag all of humanity into a whole new Dark Age at the moment!). <grumpy rant over>
I often wonder if a new system of additional, craftily engineered, canals (and plumbing/drainage), could not only be part of a solution to alleviate flooding in some of the worst affected areas of the country, but might also provide low emission transport links in certain localities as well (wind/solar charged electric boats etc.). But then again, I'm no expert in such matters (probably shows), just a thought. A very worthwhile article, thank you.
Dear customer, we are really, really, sorry about this sort of a thing happening. Doh! there it all goes again! You do know that all these billions of bits of data that you gave us are flying around all over the place really, really, quickly, inside some very, very, expensive computers (that you are ultimately paying for), and that it's dammed difficult to keep hold of it all terribly securely.
But don't worry too much, there's probably a clause, somewhere, that you implicitly agreed to when you signed up to our service and we feel sure that that will be enough to exonerate us from any responsibility. Meanwhile may we suggest that you change your name by deed pole, move house, change all your phone numbers, change ISP, change all your social media account passwords, change all of your other passwords and switch your bank account to another bank, simple!!
We look forward to going forward with you on a forward looking customer focused data journey in the lovely fintech future and feel sure that we will be able to manage your personal data more securely in that shiny, shiny, future by, maybe, stuffing it all in some old manilla envelopes down the back of the filling cabinet, or something.
Go forward together with us to a brighter digital financial future (cos we don't like to look back too much at all the damage and chaos that we have left in our wake), or take any 'credit' for it.
Oh! bright, bright, shiny SECURE! digital future wherefore art thou?! (cos a lot of people would like to know)
That's not to say that we in the West aren't immune from having our very own bio-security problems as well, the Blood Products scandal that impacted parts of Europe (and America?) is a case in point. Let's face it, if dear old mother earth wasn't just one big Petri dish of a thing, then no organic life would be here today. We all have a responsibility towards each other everyday of our lives to maintain all species in the best of health.
It's ok folks, they've found a cure! You simply need to mix up the adrenal glands of baby fresh water dolphins, the spleens of infant sea turtles, the lower intestines of pangolins and pour in the blood of a hundred endangerred baby cave salamanders and swill it all down with a glass of embryonic fluid from an unborn piglet. Oh! and don't worry if you make a bit of a mess, you can just wash the left overs down the drain. Also, the good news is that this cure will make you lucky in games of chance and also extra sexually attractive.
So, in the near future, your code and data will simultaneously be running/stored on the quantum processor cloud, whilst, at the same time, not being either accessible to you nor owned by you. The results, if any, that you get back both will and won't be the results that you wanted to see and both will and won't have been mangled with/duplicated during the whole process. But fear not, for there are two certainties, you will be using this and you will be paying for it (through the nose with a lot of hard ca$h).
What they are keeping quiet about is the fact that each of these vessels is in fact two, yes, two warships! Notice how each has two superstructures on the flight deck, well hidden below decks is the ingenious mechanism for separating each of them into two very capable warships, with one superstructure each! Now that's really going to confound and confuse the enemy!
I'm not trying to excuse this sort of action, just wondering if younger folk, perhaps in their twenties / early thirties, are generally less fussed about data privacy given that they have grown up within an ever growing digital culture where data / image sharing is a big part of social interaction? A minority may get a thrill therefore from leaking stuff onto the interwebs etc. If so, efforts to train both staff and officers comprehensively with regard to data protection etc. become increasingly important.
Probably alludes to the desire to sign up all the worlds homeless folk, living under fly-overs and in run down former industrial parts of our super-dooper urban metropolises, to the wonderful world of Cortana, SaS, Surfaces and IoT - you know, Tech In Tent Cities.
Mines the one with the sheets of newspaper and cardboard in the pockets.
It's 2026 and what do you know, 'President for Life' Donald Trump is true to his word and has "sent humans back to the moon", only this time it's thousands of latino folk, people of an indeterminate darker complexion, folk of Middle Eastern origin and a lot of journalists. All of whom were located within the borders of the USA and were deemed to pose a threat to national security. They're all now housed in the brand new Lunar ICE complex, which was completed just six months ago. Daily flights now operate between the Mega-Shuttle space-port in Florida and the new Lunar Trump space-port located in the Mare Fæġer-Feahs on the moon.
For me it has to be any number of Merlin engines, more especially if they are running over half chat. That said, I cannot deny that the awesome ground-shaking roar of the Olympus, et al, have a sonic presence that goes right through you to the core with an energy that can leave you quite pleasurably breathless. But for me the shear harmony of numerous pistons, valves, con-rods, widgets and cranks etc. that are orchestrated oh so beautifully, especially in the case of the Merlin, sing out to the soul in a truly inimical manner. In a word - delightful.
Maybe they will just cut down what's left of the south American rain forest and open some garden centres there instead. What! I dunno but I'd like to know more about how sustainable (green), their trading model is? I know I'm an old fuddy duddy and this is all an amazing revolution in retail and all that, but I can't help feeling that we all need to be buying / producing less stuff, making what stuff we do buy last longer and, if need be, having the opportunity to easily take it back in store for repair / longevity treatment / complete recycling etc. Surely somebody like Mr. Bezos can see that the 'green light' is glowing more brightly these days, illuminating such a more beneficial business model.
But without surrendering your personalised information how are your details going to be entered into the * Big Monthly Prize Draw * - you could be missing out on some snazzy beach towels or a 50 quid M&S voucher! You wouldn't want that would you.
Then there's the * Big SurPrize Draw *, when you and tens of thousands of other customers, find that some teen hackers have got passed the piss poor data security and leaked said personal information all over the internets!
Well I don't think I will rest until every single piece of UK telecomms / internet equipment is henceforth manufactured, to be as hard as nails, anywhere from, say, Wolverhampton northwards, in the factory of some fella by the name of e.g. Braithwaite, by folk that are all as hard as nails, with each item sporting a heavily embossed British Standards Kite mark on each side. That way we will now what we are dealing with.
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