Forums Offbeat → Bootnotes

Offbeat stories and capers for like-minded technology professionals

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open Pick an end, any end: Lost that critical Christmas cable? We know how you feel 7
open Sun, sea and sad signage: And lo, they saw a shining light in the sky... oh, it's a BIOS error 11
open All I want for Christmas is cash: Welsh ATMs are unbeatable. Or unbootable. Something like that 33
open No amount of Glasgow handshaking will revive this borked kiosk 41
By PhilipN
open Roma, we've had un problema: When every flight's final destination is a date with Windows Boot Manager 26
open Cyberpunk 2077: There's a great game within screaming to get out, but sadly it was released 57 years too early 77
open What's that lurking behind the borked face of finance? Windows, of course 21
By silks
open Atlantic City auctions off chance to hit Big Red Button and make grotesque Trump Plaza casino go boom 64
By hayzoos
open Larry Ellison says he's not following Oracle to Texas, prefers his private Hawaii pad 31
open Tim Cook 'killed' TV project about the one website Apple hates more than The Register 76
open You've got to be shipping me: KatherineRyan.co.uk suggests the comedian has diversified into freight forwarding 36
open Reading El Reg while working from home? Here's a pleasant thought: Kaspersky says 1 in 10 of you are naked right now 78
open PSA: The 2020 monolith is a dead meme. You can stop putting them up now. Please 72
By hoola
open Next day delivery a bit of a pain? We have just the thing... nestled deep in the terms and conditions 24
open Windows on Wheels is back, though the truck has come to a standstill, much like the OS 18
open Let's check in now with the new California monolith... And it's gone, torn down by a bunch of MAGA muppets 123
By Shades
open Wireless screen in estate agent window just begging for someone to fill it with mischief 21
open Where's the mysterious metal monolith today then? Oh look, it's atop a California mountain 87
By Manolo
open Glastonbury hippy shop Hemp in Avalon rapped for spouting 'plandemic' pseudoscience 130
open Bristol's bus stops can run Chrome and Internet Explorer, but no, Windows and public transport do not mix well 20
open Scotch eggs ascend to the 'substantial meal' pantheon as means to pop to pub for a pint during pernicious pandemic 120
open Uri Geller calls off 20-year ban on Pokémon trading card that 'stole' his 'signature image' 53
open Behold the drive-thru of the California Highway Patrol: Fry me a river, has 'CHIPS' stopped working again? 31
open For every disastrous rebrand, there is an IT person trying to steer away from the precipice 147
open Mysterious Utah monolith mysteriously disappears without trace 99
open Netflix chooses its own judgment in 'Bandersnatch' case: Settle and make the nasty lawsuit go away 24
open Ad banned for suggesting London black cabs have properties that prevent the spread of coronavirus 72
open Mall of duty: Black Ops. No, you're not a customer, you're just an ad audience metric 17
open Considering the colonisation of Mars? Werner Herzog would like a word 142
open Mysterious metal monolith found in 'very remote' part of Utah 184
By jake
open Frenchman who wanted to 'smash a guy's face in' fined €135 – despite correctly filling out paperwork stating why he left home during lockdown 35
By eionmac
open Snap decision: 74-year-old Florida man wrests puppy from jaws of alligator 40
open 'Unmute' named one of Oxford Dictionary's words of the year 30
open One does not simply shove elephants on a ballet shoe point and call it an acceptable measure of pressure 73
open Software running on demo licence? At least one patty pusher is Lovin' It 12
open Billionaire's Pagani Pa-gone-i after teen son takes hypercar out for a drive, trashes it 125
open Alleged Ponzi mastermind on the run from FBI hid in lake with sea-scooter, collared after he surfaced half-hour later 41
open Reports of one's death have been greatly exaggerated: French radio station splurges obituary bank over interwebs 44
open Windows 10 installation shows shopping centre its sad face – the natural response to finding out you're in Peterborough 21
open Need a hobby for lockdown? Perhaps check out the CMOS battery 11
open Windows 10 quite literally projects its deepest, darkest fears on to New Zealand 9
open Elon Musk's ancient April Fools' gag about 'Tesla Tequila' made real in lightning-shaped bottle 49
open Super-antique-fragile-and-it's-XP-alidocious, even though the sight of it is something quite atrocious 48
By Danny 2
open Remember 2013? This coffee machine does: If I could turn back time – I'd reboot this PC 30
open Luke Skywalker used to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 on Tatooine. But Star Wars: Squadrons misses the mark 39
open SNAFU: Clairvoyant train brings warning of what was coming down the line for 2020 24
By Tempest
open IKEA Croydon (FYI: that's a place in outer London, not a type of DIY cabinet) likes things in pairs, from chimneys to bork 25
open What a time to be alive: DB Admin raps about Microsoft SQL Server and he ain't even paid to do so 6
open Ho hum: If you're so artificially intelligent, name this song while my videos go viral 49
open Fancy a steaming portion of Kentucky Fried Bork? A fingerlickin' flub that's pure poultry in motion 24
By tin 2

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