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Also known as where's the sodding IT angle!

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open World's oldest human was a 122-year-old French smoker after all 38
open Au my bog: Bloke, 66, on bail after 'solid-gold' crapper called 'America' stolen from stately home 61
open Wake me up before you Gogo ... so I can jump out: Kenyan MP takes on aeroplane flatulence 82
open Time for another cuppa then? Tea-drinkers have better brains, say boffins with even better brains 88
By PBXTech
open Just what we all needed, lactose-free 'beer' from northern hipsters – it's the Vegan Sorbet Sour 142
open Captain's coffee calamity causes transatlantic flight diversion 94
open A peeling solution to pothole has split the community... Yeah, they stuck a banana tree in it 50
open eBay eBabe enigma explained: Microsoft bug blamed after topless model slings e-souk's emails at stunned Brits 46
open Outlook turned eBay into DD-Bay: Topless busty babe mysteriously fronts souk's emails 31
By phuzz
open Royal Navy seeks missile-moving robots for dockyard drudgery 44
open In Hemel Hempstead, cycling is as bad as taking a leak in the middle of the street 206
By Alumoi
open Now it's Terrance Dicks' turn to regenerate: Golden-age Doctor Who mainstay dies aged 84 35
open Full of beans? Sadly not as fellow cracks open tin at dinner to find just one 79
By hplasm
open How do you do, fellow kids? Facebook now Boomerbook as British oldies outnumber teens 46
open Devon knows how they make it so steamy: Phantom squatter of Torquay curls one out on bloke's motor 55
open Rebel Galaxy Outlaw: Well, lookie here! For once a space game that doesn't promise the universe 42
open GDPR...rrrse! Mass-mail fail as German biz asks UK resellers for consent to use their dealer data 32
By Outski
open Pokemon Go becomes Pokemon No as games biz Niantic agrees to curb trespassing addicts 52
open Overstock dot-gone: Surplus biz CEO now surplus to requirements, ejects after Russian spy fling, deep state rant 29
open Eighty-year-old US 'web scam man' on the run after pocketing $250,000 in Dem 'donations' 52
open US soldier cleared of taking armoured vehicle out for joyride – because he's insane, court says 82
open You monsters: Screen time murders your kid's imaginary friend – until they reach school age 40
open Dry patch? Have you considered peppering your flirts with emojis? 101
open Overstock's share price has plummeted. Is it Trump's trade war? Bad results? Nope, its CEO has gone bonkers... 86
open opens £250k competition to tackle first-world problem of crap conference Wi-Fi 15
open Criminal mastermind signed name as 'Thief' on receipts after buying stuff with stolen card 73
open Quick question, what the Hull? City khazi is a top UK tourist destination 75
open Pokémon Red and Blue-era trading cards just made their owner a load of green: Complete set sells at auction for $107k 35
open Xbox daddy bakes bread with 4,000-year-old Egyptian yeast 88
open That's bang out of order: Threesome hookup app 3Fun leaked lovers' data, locations, pix – report 30
open Thunderbolts and lightning very, very frightening as loo shatters, embedding porcelain shards in wall 71
open Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen's personal MiG-29 fighter jet goes under the hammer 76
open Storied veteran Spitfire slapped with chrome paint job takes off on round-the-world jaunt 86
open The NSA's own bastard operator from Hell, aka Edward Snowden, puts out memoir next month 46
open It's Friday lunchtime on International Beer Day. Bitter hop to it, boss'll be none the weiser 80
By Psmo
open UK taxpayers funded Grand Theft Auto V maker to tune of £42m – while biz paid no corp tax and made billions 97
open Darkest Dungeon: Lovecraftian PTSD simulator will cause your own mask to slip 46
By Falmor
open Fantastic Mr Fox? Not when he sh*ts on your lawn, kids' trampoline and your soul 220
open It's so hot, UK needs to start naming heatwaves like we do when it's a bit windy – climate boffins 116
open Braking bad? Van with £112m worth of crystal meth in back hits cop car at police station 56
By Cederic
open 'Cockwomble' is off the menu: Uncle Bulgaria issues edict against using name in vain 109
open France seeks science-fiction writers to help futureproof its military against science-fact 40
open Incognito mode won't stop smut sites sharing your pervy preferences with Facebook, Google and, er, Oracle 111
By Maty
open Japan and Greece collide as Toshiba's storage biz spinoff reborn as Kioxia 5
open It just wasn't meant toupee: Bloke nicked at Barcelona Airport with €30k of blow under wig 31
open Bulb smart meters in England wake up from comas miraculously speaking fluent Welsh 190
open Scientist, war hero and gay icon Alan Turing is new face of the £50 note 117
open Now that's just offal: Heap of pig guts hog road after truck spills load in Kansas City 26
By jake
open 300,000 edgy folk pledge themselves on Facebook to storming supposedly UFO-tastic Area 51 86
open Queen Elizabeth has a soggy bottom: No, the £3.1bn aircraft carrier, what the hell did you think we meant? 172


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