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Also known as where's the sodding IT angle!

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open The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help 110
open It is unclear why something designed to pump fuel into a car needs an ad-spewing computer strapped to it, but here we are 113
By GrantB
open What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you 487
open Serial killer spotted on the night train from Newcastle 63
open Twitter sticks a beak in, Clippy-style: Are you sure you want to set your account alight with that flame? 26
open Tom Cruise to increase in stature thanks to ISS jaunt? Now that's a mission impossible 29
By TRT
open Pew-pew woo-hoo! Hong Kong reopens video arcades shut by coronavirus lockdown 8
By Lazar
open Baby Diesel? Little d'Artagnan? There is another child of Musk in the world 55
open Salesforce chief Marc Benioff gets clear view of pandemic, 'new balance' from guru pal 11
By jake
open It looks like you want a storage appliance for your data centre. Maybe you'd prefer a smart card reader? 38
By holmegm
open As Brit cyber-spies drop 'whitelist' and 'blacklist', tech boss says: If you’re thinking about getting in touch saying this is political correctness gone mad, don’t bother 261
By 45RPM
open Browse mode: We're not goofing off on the Sidebar of Shame and online shopping sites, says UK's Ministry of Defence 49
open Ride now, ride! Ride for ruin and the world's ending! Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord is here at last! Kind of 5
By 9Rune5
open Google is a 'publisher' says Aussie court as it hands £20k damages to gangland lawyer 37
open Lars Ulrich makes veiled threats of another Metallica album during web chat with Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff 63
open Prank warning: You do know your smart speaker's paired with Spotify over the internet, don't you? 72
open Sometimes one can go a little too far in search of isolation 21
By ILLQO
open Aussie immunology legend consults Twitter for his local off-licence opening hours 16
open From attacked engineers to a crypto-loving preacher with a questionable CV: Yep, it's still very much 5G silly season 73
open Travel advice for the week ahead is just: STOP 17
open We're in a timeline where Dettol maker has to beg folks not to inject cleaning fluid into their veins. Thanks, Trump 258
open Royal Navy nuclear submarine captain rapped for letting crew throw shoreside BBQ party 165
By ILLQO
open 'Non-commercial use only'? Oopsie. You can't get much more commercial than a huge digital billboard over Piccadilly 53
open Fright at the museum: Bored curators play spooky Top Trumps on Twitter over who has the creepiest object 20
open Singapore's corona-crushing superhero squad grounded by football fans 19
open There are always two sides to every story – except this one, which is just a big billboard borked in all directions 22
open Iran military manages to keep a straight face while waggling miracle widget that 'can detect coronavirus from 100m away' 101
open Feeling hot, hot, hot... in British Columbia? In December? 8
open Taiwan to develop military exoskeleton because it's not like these things are open-sourced or one-size-fits-all 20
open French pensioner ejected from fighter jet after accidentally grabbing bang seat* handle 144
By phuzz
open You in for a curl up and dye? Yeah, looks like the same for this screen in a hairdressers 18
By heyrick
open Upstart Americans brandish alligators at the almighty Reg Standards Soviet 97
open Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much 351
open Apple creates face shield for health workers, resists the temptation to call it the 'iMask' 60
open Reg fashion special: Top designer says 'video chat accessories' are in for spring! 41
open Virtually – no – actually borked: We'd slap ailing ATM's 'OK' button but it's probably against government guidance 9
open Windows spotted flashing its unmentionables in a Chicago clothier 7
By Disk0
open Salesforce publishes self-themed activity book to keep your kids ‘Appy 3
By Mark 85
open Vietnam bans posting fake news online 25
open How many days of carefree wiping do you have left before life starts to look genuinely apocalyptic? Let's find out 82
open Lobsters given seats on coronavirus rescue flights... although they're probably not in a rush for a boiling bath 10
open Internet use up 40 per cent in San Francisco Bay Area – but you know what’s even higher? Yep, alcohol, weed use 29
open You're not fooling anyone on that vid-conference call: Walmart says shirt sales soaring, pants not pulled up 32
By Mike 16
open What's the difference between Windows 7 and a bin lorry? One is full of garbage, and the other… oh dear 37
open Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo 83
open Exchange some currency you want to? Guess the BIOS setup keyboard combination first you must, young Padawan 17
open Announcing the official Reg-approved measure of social distancing: The Osman 79
By R0bb1eB
open Lockdown ain't easy. And that's without snoring, burping, hair-shedding seals outside your house 12
open Instagram, YouTube 'iron man' marketer first to be nabbed by Feds cracking down on fake coronavirus web cures 6
open Microsoft staff giggle beneath the weight of a 52,000-person Reply-All email storm 81

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