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Verizon: Ransomware sees biggest jump in five years

b0llchit Silver badge

Dear Version 1.0,

You are running a very old Version of our great Version software. Your Version of Version has become obsolete and incompatible with current standards and is no longer supported. The comment module has shown serious flaws as you are probably aware of. Please make sure to complete the mandatory upgrade to Version 33.0 and try again.

Please note, as stated in Version 1.0 TOS and EULA, that the bodily fluid test is mandatory while downloading, which will be to be matched against your local anti-criminal-record store. At install time you will be required to deposit your house key and lease/deed while providing evidence that the US-tax on legal and illegal software has been paid. An AirBnB compensation will be made until you can reclaim your key. Any children will be cared for in the mean time.

We are confident that version 33.0 will be quite satisfactory for you. Please remember to pass the mandatory survey on satisfaction for your convenience when installation is complete. The local copy&paste police enforcement office is informed of you arrival in short time and has your temporary accommodation available.

Thank your for choosing Version software.

Best regards, b0llchit - Mental Image Extraction and Common Thought Distortion Inc.

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