Douyin Bug Report #6489: Unforeseen consequences
Affected Platform/Environment: All, Youth Mode & Non-party member Mode (TBA)
Steps to reproduce: Continue on path of tightening app restrictions for several years
Expected results: Freed from the grip of Digital Spiritual Opium Badthing children grow into perfectly functioning obedient valued hard-working subjects of the great People's Republic and it's wondrous leader
Actual results: A generation grow up resentful of freedom-hating government and all buy umbrellas because there's nothing else to do
Mitigation: Let the kids have fun while they can, jeez
